I'm on the verge of giving up

[dreamadream]

I don't know where to began. It is so much. Was on my way to a job interview(just a regular job for some cash) and I told my Dad to turn right back around because this is too far, I don't have a car, and I don't have money for transportation. I have applied to every job in my area(I cant go out of this area because I can't afford to). My family points out that I'm almost 19 so why don't I have a job. "OK thanks for pointing out the obvious an also thanks for making my life worse". I am trying to get my bachelors degree in silence because I want my family to be surprised. And guess what I think I'm done trying to please them. I am on the verge of giving up undergrad and my goals of going into med school. Why because I was doomed from the start, I'm poor, I cant afford to get through school, I can't afford to get back and forth to work, I can't afford training classes so I can get direct patient contact(clinical experience), and my life is just at a dead end. I really don't even think about myself when I'm studying and working my ass off...I'm thinking about the kids that I might have in the future. I wouldn't want their life to be like mines. I was born in poverty and I still live in poverty. I want to make it out but I can't afford to. People are so lucky to have two parents, a job, decent school for undergrad, and money.

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[jd989898]

Not to be harsh, but if you have an internet connection you're not living in poverty. A minuscule budget is stressful as hell, and you definitely have my sympathy for that, but why is that a reason to give up? What will giving up get you?

 

[MerciMerci]

People are so lucky to have two parents, a job, decent school for undergrad, and money.

Yes, but plenty of people didn't have these circumstances and made it.

 

[dreamadream]

Not to be harsh, but if you have an internet connection you're not living in poverty. A minuscule budget is stressful as hell, and you definitely have my sympathy for that, but why is that a reason to give up? What will giving up get you?

This household makes less than $15000 a year so I am in poverty, I am using free wifi. I want to give up because I was set out to go to a job interview, but mid way through my ride I realized how far it was and I can't afford to pay money to get back and forth to that job. I needed that job to pay for tuition and college application(I am applying as a transfer student in January for Fall 2016) and that was my last hope. But if I was to go to that job I would only be working to get myself back and forth to the job, you get what I'm saying????

 

[dreamadream]

Yes, but plenty of people didn't have these circumstances and made it.

They must have superpowers.

 

[dreamadream]

My stomach growls in class, I am in poverty!

 

[restlessdriven]

OP, are there any job opportunities on campus? That way you wouldn't have to drive to more than one place? Have you spoken to anyone in the financial aid office at your school?

 

[summergirl]

I think you were writing your post in the heat of the moment, which is a normal/good way to let out your frustration. I'm not going to lie, your situation will make it more difficult for you to get in than someone with money, a great undergrad school and physician parents. Well, life is not fair. Do you think it's fair for people who are naturally smarter to compete on the same grounds as the people with lower intelligence? It's not fair but those who were born with less work harder to surpass those with more. It's what you have to do. It may take you longer, maybe have to take gap years to deal with your financial situation, but it absolutely can happen for you. You will be surprised at how far hard work and dedication can go.

 

[jd989898]

Advertise yourself as a tutor. If you're premed, you can probably tutor at least a handful of classes. And if you're truly starving, buy big bags of rice. Cheapest calories

 

[dreamadream]

OP, are there any job opportunities on campus? That way you wouldn't have to drive to more than one place? Have you spoken to anyone in the financial aid office at your school?

I don't think I qualified for work study, but they do have many volunteer opportunities, this semester I have been taking notes for students with disabilities.

 

[dreamadream]

I think you were writing your post in the heat of the moment, which is a normal/good way to let out your frustration. I'm not going to lie, your situation will make it more difficult for you to get in than someone with money, a great undergrad school and physician parents. Well, life is not fair. Do you think it's fair for people who are naturally smarter to compete on the same grounds as the people with lower intelligence? It's not fair but those who were born with less work harder to surpass those with more. It's what you have to do. It may take you longer, maybe have to take gap years to deal with your financial situation, but it absolutely can happen for you. You will be surprised at how far hard work and dedication can go.

I can't afford to take a gap year, I'll be a old hag by time I go into med school.

 

[22031 Alum]

Sounds like you're trying to get everything done at once, and lacking a good advisor who could help you tackle things the right way.

If you can't pay for school you'll need to find a combination of work and scholarships that will help you do so. Find out if any of your test scores make you eligible for scholarships. Find out if your family's low income makes you eligible for any scholarships (hint- it probably does).

Unless you live in an extremely remote, depressed area I find it hard to believe that no job is available. Don't worry about clinical jobs or jobs that look good on a med school app- you're not at that point yet. You need a job that fulfills one requirement: it pays you money. Have you really been turned down by every place in walking/biking distance that's hiring?

 

[raiderette]

It sounds like you should be eligible for work study. It is not easy but you can do it. Why put the added pressure on yourself by hiding your schooling? Utilize every resource available to you.

 

[dreamadream]

Sounds like you're trying to get everything done at once, and lacking a good advisor who could help you tackle things the right way.

If you can't pay for school you'll need to find a combination of work and scholarships that will help you do so. Find out if any of your test scores make you eligible for scholarships. Find out if your family's low income makes you eligible for any scholarships (hint- it probably does).

Unless you live in an extremely remote, depressed area I find it hard to believe that no job is available. Don't worry about clinical jobs or jobs that look good on a med school app- you're not at that point yet. You need a job that fulfills one requirement: it pays you money. Have you really been turned down by every place in walking/biking distance that's hiring?

I definitely need a mentor/adviser or something that can help me just a little. I am trying to find work I have been doing that since my summer job. Even two jobs called me back after 4 months of me putting in my application. I'm in my sophomore year and I haven't did anything. I apply to 3-4 scholarships about every week. I live in an area with a lot of work, its just that I have applied to everything in this area or either I'm not qualified due to certifications, education, or experience. I don't have a bike and cant afford one, their is no public transportation close so I have to rely on using paychecks to get myself back and forth to work which is worthless.

 

[summergirl]

I can't afford to take a gap year, I'll be a old hag by time I go into med school.

.

 

[MerciMerci]

I can't afford to take a gap year, I'll be a old hag by time I go into med school.

23-25? Old hag?

 

[Affiche]

but if you have an internet connection you're not living in poverty

lmao what? do you know the difference between absolute and relative poverty?

OP go to school full-time and live on loans if you need to. Get yourself an education and work a job that pays you, regardless of clinical experience.
I was homeless when I started college and it was a struggle to get through each day, but it gets easier (or you get stronger). Feel free to PM me.

 

[dreamadream]

23-25? Old hag?

I'll be about 32 when I ever start doing anything with myself.

 

[Affiche]

I'll be about 32 when I ever start doing anything with myself.

You need to drop your attitude, tbh.
If you're only 19 years old I have no idea how the hell you planned yourself into a hole until age 32.

Edit: 18 years old*

 

[dreamadream]

You need to drop your attitude, tbh.
If you're only 19 years old I have no idea how the hell you planned yourself into a hole until age 32.

Edit: 18 years old*

I'm psychic

 

[22031 Alum]

I can't afford to take a gap year, I'll be a old hag by time I go into med school.

Okay you're clearly writing this from a place of anger and confusion. Let us know when and if you are ready to approach things rationally. There is a lot of help available here but having an online freak out isn't the way to access it.

 

[dreamadream]

Seriously I was planning on going into med school in 2018(my graduation year) I may consider taking a year off and go into med school in 2019. But I don't want that gap year to make me lose my focus because anything can happen in a year, good or bad.

 

[Terry Toma]

I'm not unsympathetic, but you seem quick to conclude that you can't do a whole lot of things. If you need a job, you don't need to find the job that will look best on your med school app. Just find a place of employment that will pay you to do work. I've spent a few years waiting tables myself.

Take out loans if you need them. I'm not big on going overboard with debt financing, but if you're choosing between taking out reasonable loans to ultimately become a doctor, or not taking out any loans and dropping out of undergrad, the former is going to be the better financial decision.

Sounds like transportation is an issue. What are on-campus living options like? At most schools I am familiar with, it is possible to live, work, and study on (or near) campus without ever getting in a car. The tradeoff of rent vs. transportation cost will depend on your particular situation, but it's worth considering whether a change of address could save money (and time saved on the commute can be valuable as well).

As far as patient contact opportunities, many people find adequate patient contact without ever paying for any kind of training. And the amount of patient contact necessary for an app isn't that huge when spread over an undergrad career.

 

[22031 Alum]

Seriously I was planning on going into med school in 2018(my graduation year) I may consider taking a year off and go into med school in 2019. But I don't want that gap year to make me lose my focus because anything can happen in a year, good or bad.

Frankly from your posts you don't sound organized enough to have ANY specific year in mind for applying. You should probably work on getting to a point where you can 1) afford school and 2) make really good grades before you start worrying about the other steps.

 

[Dr.Smexy]

I don't know where to began. It is so much. Was on my way to a job interview(just a regular job for some cash) and I told my Dad to turn right back around because this is too far, I don't have a car, and I don't have money for transportation. I have applied to every job in my area(I cant go out of this area because I can't afford to). My family points out that I'm almost 19 so why don't I have a job. "OK thanks for pointing out the obvious an also thanks for making my life worse". I am trying to get my bachelors degree in silence because I want my family to be surprised. And guess what I think I'm done trying to please them. I am on the verge of giving up undergrad and my goals of going into med school. Why because I was doomed from the start, I'm poor, I cant afford to get through school, I can't afford to get back and forth to work, I can't afford training classes so I can get direct patient contact(clinical experience), and my life is just at a dead end. I really don't even think about myself when I'm studying and working my ass off...I'm thinking about the kids that I might have in the future. I wouldn't want their life to be like mines. I was born in poverty and I still live in poverty. I want to make it out but I can't afford to. People are so lucky to have two parents, a job, decent school for undergrad, and money.

You're 19. Time to face the reality that you are an adult which means you need to get out in the world and start making it on your own. Life is a b*tch but that ain't going to change with you also b*tching about it. Believe me, I know all about poverty. Take this advice from me: borrow all the federal loans available (all of it! but don't touch private loans) and find a part time jobs. Do what ever it takes to lessen the financial burden so you can focus on school. Your success will depend on your attitude and right now it doesn't look good. Slap yourself in the face and tell yourself that someday the world will be at your feet. Good luck.

 

[dreamadream]

I'm not unsympathetic, but you seem quick to conclude that you can't do a whole lot of things. If you need a job, you don't need to find the job that will look best on your med school app. Just find a place of employment that will pay you to do work. I've spent a few years waiting tables myself.

Take out loans if you need them. I'm not big on going overboard with debt financing, but if you're choosing between taking out reasonable loans to ultimately become a doctor, or not taking out any loans and dropping out of undergrad, the former is going to be the better financial decision.

Sounds like transportation is an issue. What are on-campus living options like? At most schools I am familiar with, it is possible to live, work, and study on (or near) campus without ever getting in a car. The tradeoff of rent vs. transportation cost will depend on your particular situation, but it's worth considering whether a change of address could save money (and time saved on the commute can be valuable as well).

As far as patient contact opportunities, many people find adequate patient contact without ever paying for any kind of training. And the amount of patient contact necessary for an app isn't that huge when spread over an undergrad career.

I was about to go to an interview for to become utility/dishwasher. Mid-ride(someone drove me)I noticed how far it was and I told them to turn back around. It's too far and it's no point for me to go to this interview if I can't afford to make it to the job. There is no public transportation around because I live in the county. Usually I would pay to get back and forth to my summer job but that's because it was about 5 miles away and I was making decent money for someone who doesn't have to pay bills. I also commute to school and I don't want to keep living off of my moms government money(she's was diagnosed with epilepsy in 2008, worked as a RN at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore). I can't afford to take out loans and plus my tuition is paid for by grants. I still have a $500 of tuition I have to pay for a summer course which financial aid did not pay. If I don't pay this off I will not be able to register and seats will be filled for the classes I need for next semester. I would have no choice but to drop out. My school has great volunteer opportunities, I am a note taker for students with disabilities. As far as clinical experience, everywhere I try to apply for needs a CPR certification or medical terminology or 6 months in a healthcare.

 

[dreamadream]

You're 19. Time to face the reality that you are an adult which means you need to get out in the world and start making it on your own. Life is a b*tch but that ain't going to change with you also b*tching about it. Believe me, I know all about poverty. Take this advice from me: borrow all the federal loans available (all of it! but don't touch private loans) and find a part time jobs. Do what ever it takes to lessen the financial burden so you can focus on school. Your success will depend on your attitude and right now it doesn't look good. Slap yourself in the face and tell yourself that someday the world will be at your feet. Good luck.

I'm not 19 yet, my birthday is tomorrow.

 

[Dr.Smexy]

I'm not 19 yet, my birthday is tomorrow.

That's all you get from my post?....you're a lost cause.

 

[dreamadream]

Frankly from your posts you don't sound organized enough to have ANY specific year in mind for applying. You should probably work on getting to a point where you can 1) afford school and 2) make really good grades before you start worrying about the other steps.

I strongly wanted to go into med school my graduation year(2018). I don't let poverty affect my school, but sometimes it's hard when my stomach growls in class, it takes the focus off of what is being learned and more of the embarrassment of me being hungry, I'm starting to lose my muscle and my belly is starting to sit out.

 

[dreamadream]

I read and processed your post, thanks for the advice. You telling me to stop b*tching is something I hear mostly everyday.

 

[Eccesignum]

As far as clinical experience, everywhere I try to apply for needs a CPR certification or medical terminology or 6 months in a healthcare.

Check with your local fire stations. In my area (very rural) we often offer free or extremely cheap CPR classes.

 

[Dr.Smexy]

I read and processed your post, thanks for the advice. You telling me to stop b*tching is something I hear mostly everyday.

Sorry to tell you this but there is little hope for you. You have no vision, drive and passion if you hear this everyday and still not doing anything else except b*tching...

 

[Lawpy]

I'm not 19 yet, my birthday is tomorrow.

Happy early birthday!

Hoping things go well for you since it's a rough position to be in

 

[dreamadream]

Check with your local fire stations. In my area (very rural) we often offer free or extremely cheap CPR classes.

I really wanted to do EMT, that's something I wanted to do in high school.

 

[dreamadream]

Happy early birthday!

Hoping things go well for you since it's a rough position to be in

Thanks, that was uplifting,

 

[Eccesignum]

I really wanted to do EMT, that's something I wanted to do in high school.

In my county (YMMV) fire stations will sponsor your EMT training if you become an active volunteer member. Might be something to look into. Check on the CPR first though, since you're saying that is a potential gateway to a job.

 

[dreamadream]

In my county (YMMV) fire stations will sponsor your EMT training if you become an active volunteer member. Might be something to look into. Check on the CPR first though, since you're saying that is a potential gateway to a job.

CPR classes cost about $100 for american redcross. CPR is a potential gateway to all the jobs I am thinking about. One job I was looking at was patient transport at John's Hopkins Hospital.

 

[Eccesignum]

CPR classes cost about $100 for american redcross. CPR is a potential gateway to all the jobs I am thinking about. One job I was looking at was patient transport at John's Hopkins Hospital.

Again, get in touch with local fire stations. If you're in an an area that's hurting for volunteers you may be able to get training help if you commit to service.

 

[Terry Toma]

I was about to go to an interview for to become utility/dishwasher. Mid-ride(someone drove me)I noticed how far it was and I told them to turn back around. It's too far and it's no point for me to go to this interview if I can't afford to make it to the job. There is no public transportation around because I live in the county. Usually I would pay to get back and forth to my summer job but that's because it was about 5 miles away and I was making decent money for someone who doesn't have to pay bills. I also commute to school and I don't want to keep living off of my moms government money(she's was diagnosed with epilepsy in 2008, worked as a RN at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore). I can't afford to take out loans and plus my tuition is paid for by grants. I still have a $500 of tuition I have to pay for a summer course which financial aid did not pay. If I don't pay this off I will not be able to register and seats will be filled for the classes I need for next semester. I would have no choice but to drop out. My school has great volunteer opportunities, I am a note taker for students with disabilities. As far as clinical experience, everywhere I try to apply for needs a CPR certification or medical terminology or 6 months in a healthcare.

As I said, you are very quick to conclude that all kinds of things just aren't possible for you. How have you concluded that you can't afford to take out loans? Finishing school with a bit of debt will leave you better off than dropping out of school debt free, no?

 

[dreamadream]

Again, get in touch with local fire stations. If you're in an an area that's hurting for volunteers you may be able to get training help if you commit to service.

I have a fire station right around the corner from me.

 

[familyaerospace]

I don't know where to began. It is so much. Was on my way to a job interview(just a regular job for some cash) and I told my Dad to turn right back around because this is too far, I don't have a car, and I don't have money for transportation. I have applied to every job in my area(I cant go out of this area because I can't afford to). My family points out that I'm almost 19 so why don't I have a job. "OK thanks for pointing out the obvious an also thanks for making my life worse". I am trying to get my bachelors degree in silence because I want my family to be surprised. And guess what I think I'm done trying to please them. I am on the verge of giving up undergrad and my goals of going into med school. Why because I was doomed from the start, I'm poor, I cant afford to get through school, I can't afford to get back and forth to work, I can't afford training classes so I can get direct patient contact(clinical experience), and my life is just at a dead end. I really don't even think about myself when I'm studying and working my ass off...I'm thinking about the kids that I might have in the future. I wouldn't want their life to be like mines. I was born in poverty and I still live in poverty. I want to make it out but I can't afford to. People are so lucky to have two parents, a job, decent school for undergrad, and money.

1) I was born in poverty and lived my entire life in poverty and that includes as an adult. I am 34 and only got off SNAP when I was accepted to medical school. I went through 4 rounds of medical school applications almost entirely on the FAP program.
2) Many undergraduate schools will give a free ride to people if your family makes under a certain amount a year. These things only went into effect after I graduated. Others will still give a decent grant amount.
3) I have literally never had a normal job. Being disabled and on a driving restriction (I have epilepsy) makes it difficult. Being transsexual makes it worse. My best friend, who literally I have known for almost 20 years, cannot drive (no license), is rural, and is basically bed-bound and has almost no education. She was born/raised in a trailer park with no real outlook. There are online jobs you can aim for. They pretty much suck but she is using the something like 20K a year she is making in order to pay one class at a time to get her medical transcription certification/degree/whatever.
4) You don't need to pay for training classes to get direct patient contact. I sure didn't. Many place will pay for you to go and pay for the classes.

What you need to do is to try to stop getting yourself down in the dumps. There are tons of resources out there. It's just a one step at a time issue. Focus on getting a car and/or a job. Then worry later about all these other things. If you look at everything at once, you are going to have a breakdown.

 

[TBV]

Apply for a job as an RA in a dorm. A buddy did this got free housing and a paycheck while in school

 

[dreamadream]

1) I was born in poverty and lived my entire life in poverty and that includes as an adult. I am 34 and only got off SNAP when I was accepted to medical school. I went through 4 rounds of medical school applications almost entirely on the FAP program.
2) Many undergraduate schools will give a free ride to people if your family makes under a certain amount a year. These things only went into effect after I graduated. Others will still give a decent grant amount.
3) I have literally never had a normal job. Being disabled and on a driving restriction (I have epilepsy) makes it difficult. Being transsexual makes it worse. My best friend, who literally I have known for almost 20 years, cannot drive (no license), is rural, and is basically bed-bound and has almost no education. She was born/raised in a trailer park with no real outlook. There are online jobs you can aim for. They pretty much suck but she is using the something like 20K a year she is making in order to pay one class at a time to get her medical transcription certification/degree/whatever.
4) You don't need to pay for training classes to get direct patient contact. I sure didn't. Many place will pay for you to go and pay for the classes.

What you need to do is to try to stop getting yourself down in the dumps. There are tons of resources out there. It's just a one step at a time issue. Focus on getting a car and/or a job. Then worry later about all these other things. If you look at everything at once, you are going to have a breakdown.

1) I have a mother who was diagnosed with epilepsy back in 2008 and she could not work anymore. I was sad because it was things I could not do with my mom anymore.
2) All of the programs I have looked for requires payment even if its through a payment plan. Mostly those CNA programs.
3) I would never turn down SNAP for as long as I'm making around the minimum wage.

 

[dreamadream]

Apply for a job as an RA in a dorm. A buddy did this got free housing and a paycheck while in school

I am not living in a dorm, I live with my sick mom.

 

[mistafab]

This household makes less than $15000 a year so I am in poverty, I am using free wifi. I want to give up because I was set out to go to a job interview, but mid way through my ride I realized how far it was and I can't afford to pay money to get back and forth to that job. I needed that job to pay for tuition and college application(I am applying as a transfer student in January for Fall 2016) and that was my last hope. But if I was to go to that job I would only be working to get myself back and forth to the job, you get what I'm saying????

I'll be about 32 when I ever start doing anything with myself.

My mom was a single mom from another country with two kids by the age of 25 (I was one of those kids). She raised us by herself while getting her PhD. Long story short, she kicked butt and gave us an aboslutely great life.

You complaining about your life will get you no sympathy.

 

[TBV]

I am not living in a dorm, I live with my sick mom.

bring her with you lol

 

[dreamadream]

My mom was a single mom from another country with two kids by the age of 25 (I was one of those kids). She raised us by herself while getting her PhD. Long story short, she kicked butt and gave us an aboslutely great life.

You complaining about your life will get you no sympathy.

I forgot to mention I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety and something else I don't want to mention, so my life is on edge all the time. I'm trying to balance my life and I find it hard to.

 

[dreamadream]

bring her with you lol

Ummm, hilarious

 

[DoctorDrewOutsidetheLines]

I forgot to mention I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety and something else I don't want to mention, so my life is on edge all the time. I'm trying to balance my life and I find it hard to.

Until you get out of your victim hood headspace you are going nowhere fast. That being said, I'm gonna do some googling later and PM you resources.

 

[mistafab]

I forgot to mention I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety and something else I don't want to mention, so my life is on edge all the time. I'm trying to balance my life and I find it hard to.

It sounds like you are not taking care of this then - and perhaps the other thing you dont want to mention. Make sure you are playing on an even field before you try to overcome the obstacles. You can't take too much on at once if you aren't taking care of yourself. You sound like I did when I tried to take everything on without being realistic. If you are a student taking care of your sick mom, how could you possibly think of getting a job and doing well in school at the same time? I don't know that much about your particular situation, but you need to do a realistic assessment of your own circumstances and figure out what your next move is.