is it just me?

[crystalgreen]

hi guys, i could use some advice right now. ever since i moved to a new state for medschool, i've been feeling very lonely. for some reason i cant make any friends? and it's frustrating b/c from highschool to college i never ever had problems making friends or being lonely. back then, making friends was so automatic and i dont even remember how i became friends with some of my best friends...those relationships just kinda happened. i feel like then people actually wanted to hangout but now nobody's that interested. therefore, i've been trying to be more active in making suggestions such as studying together, but most of the time those suggestions never materialize...seems like people dont wanna be bothered or something. also, for those of you who dont attend lectures, isnt it hard to make friends and stay in touch with classmates?

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[JeffLebowski]

hi guys, i could use some advice right now. ever since i moved to a new state for medschool, i've been feeling very lonely. for some reason i cant make any friends? and it's frustrating b/c from highschool to college i never ever had problems making friends or being lonely. back then, making friends was so automatic and i dont even remember how i became friends with some of my best friends...those relationships just kinda happened. i feel like then people actually wanted to hangout but now nobody's that interested. therefore, i've been trying to be more active in making suggestions such as studying together, but most of the time those suggestions never materialize...seems like people dont wanna be bothered or something. also, for those of you who dont attend lectures, isnt it hard to make friends and stay in touch with classmates?

Hey man, don't take it personally. It's just one of those, "whoever's there and in the foxhole with me" situations....but you've got to be around other people to be sociable enough to make a few buddies. You're probably a nice guy or girl, etc., just be friendly and social and normal when you've got class stuff, I think this stuff materializes naturally. And frankly, you don't want to have the social component get the front stage, you prioritized it right. Just do some nice stuff like smile at people, make an occasional joke, share review sheets, make an effort to go to school functions or classes, and be yourself.

 

[GreenShirt]

I had the same problem when I started. I think it has to do with the fact that your dealing with a much smaller group of people (many of whom are married at this point in life so they have to focus on family rather than hanging out). In UG for every 100 people you met you probably hit it off with one maybe two...now you're in a class of about 100 (give or take) and there's probably only one or two people who you'd be best buds with under normal circumstances. Just keep trying to get involved in group activities, even if it's just studying. The last thing you want to do is spend your entire year by yourself studying.

 

[Divine Furor]

Not to mention, it's still so EARLY in MS. I remember starting last year after taking a prematric. class and falling in with a bunch of people. We didn't mesh as "friends" so much as we clung to each other in a fit of anxiety. After we settled into a serious routine, we realized for the most part we didn't fit well . . . our interests were diverging, etc. And it was only in the late fall and winter that I made closer connections with other people.

Give it time.

 

[scotties123]

the students in my class are EXTREMELY cliquey. example: sitting in our computer lab. a group of "buddies" sitting right next to me are explaining things to each other and they are all 100% wrong. I kindly say "hey guys i heard what you were saying about ___ and I just wanted you to know it's actually ___. just didnt want you guys making that mistake on a test." this was followed by blank stares for about 10 seconds until i turned back to my computer and laughed to myself at their ******edness. lucky for me, i have my own clique . When you see someone from your class at the library or around campus, etc, say "Hey! What's Up? How's the studying?". Small talk. then find a group during anatomy lab, ask to join them and see how it pans out.

 

[sprinkibrio]

You're not living in a dorm with these people, you're busier than in college, other people may already have friends or family in town, etc. It's not abnormal to have difficulty in the beginning. And take heart that it's WAY easier to make friends in a school environment than elsewhere, even if it is grad school.

 

[podgi237]

I am currently a M1 and I must say that indeed med school is very clicky and friends are not particularly easy to come by even with a group of 187 classmates. It's simply that many people are married, many live off campus, and a handful of people just aren't the most sociable people in the world. I am lucky enough to have found a fair amount of people to hang with, but the numbers simply do not compare with the large amount of friends I had back in college and high school (which sucks but it's the nature of med school in my opinion). Best of luck on finding some new buds! If that doesn't work, be sure to keep in touch with old friends on a regular basis.