Is this an appropriate answer for the greatest adversity/challenge prompt?

[Lannister]

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I was going through secondary prompts and I realized that a lot of them want to hear about my greatest adversity. The first thing that came to mind was that I have had to come to terms with the fact that the reason my sister is physically and mentally disabled is because when I was a child and she was an infant, I dropped her on her head and caused brain damage. This has definitely strongly influenced my decision to pursue medicine, but I'm not sure if it could be considered an adversity. It was certainly an emotional adversity but I don't know if that's what they're looking for.

 

[The Real SVB]

I was going through secondary prompts and I realized that a lot of them want to hear about my greatest adversity. The first thing that came to mind was that I have had to come to terms with the fact that the reason my sister is physically and mentally disabled is because when I was a child and she was an infant, I dropped her on her head and caused brain damage. This has definitely strongly influenced my decision to pursue medicine, but I'm not sure if it could be considered an adversity. It was certainly an emotional adversity but I don't know if that's what they're looking for.

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Yeah, bad idea.

 

[Lannister]

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Yeah, bad idea.

Could you elaborate on this, please?

 

[The Real SVB]

Could you elaborate on this, please?

I'm just a premed noob, don't mind me.

But pick another challenge.

 

[Lannister]

Okay... I'd appreciate if anyone who has input on my question can give me the reasoning behind their opinion.

 

[Lannister]

Just for the record, I was 2 years old at the time so it's not like I was being reckless or anything.

I really can't think of another adversity that I've faced. Honestly I've been very fortunate, I grew up in a well-off family in an upperclass suburb, went to a great high school and private college, I've never had a serious illness...

 

[Lannister]

Can you eliminate your role in it (which is obviously not your fault) to talk about your sister's disability, your guilt over being physically and mentally capable, etc?

To an outsider it might seem like it was obviously not my fault, and of course by this point I've got that figured out, but as a 13-year-old I felt like it was entirely my fault. And of course every time I found myself thinking that it was unfair that my parents spent so much more time with my sister, that made me feel even more guilty, as it was my fault in the first place that she needed their attention more than I did. It took me many years to move past that and realize that it wasn't intentional and that I shouldn't feel guilty (although I think I will always feel a little bit guilty about it). And I've realized that I can't go back in time and change what happened, but as a physician I can do something to help families that are in similar situations.

 

[whitemagic]

Not sure why others are commenting what they are; I think it is a great adversity to talk about. Its not like it was a conscious mistake you made when you were 16 and being reckless. At the same time, I'm not sure if they are looking for something more recent when they are asking this question.

 

[mehc012]

I'd briefly describe the actual incident fairly dispassionately, if you go this route...like "we were playing together doing X when she fell and..."
Then elaborate on the emotional adversity that caused.

Basically, describe the situation without actually painting it as your fault - most people would understand why a child would feel as if they were to blame if their sibling was seriously injured while they played together. You should be able to talk about this now without taking all the guilt onto yourself. If you are not, you should not use this.

 

[Lannister]

Not sure why others are commenting what they are; I think it is a great adversity to talk about. Its not like it was a conscious mistake you made when you were 16 and being reckless. At the same time, I'm not sure if they are looking for something more recent when they are asking this question.

Hmm I didn't consider that it's not very recent. I hope that's not an issue...

 

[Lannister]

I'd briefly describe the actual incident fairly dispassionately, if you go this route...like "we were playing together doing X when she fell and..."
Then elaborate on the emotional adversity that caused.

Basically, describe the situation without actually painting it as your fault - most people would understand why a child would feel as if they were to blame if their sibling was seriously injured while they played together. You should be able to talk about this now without taking all the guilt onto yourself. If you are not, you should not use this.

Yeah my description of the actual incident is going to be basically "I wanted to play with her, so I picked her up out of her crib, but then dropped her on her head on the floor". I have no memory of the event, I just know about it from my parents' stories and that's basically all they told me. Most of the essay would focus on my teenage years and my process of dealing with it, and then how the experience has changed me.

 

[Cawolf]

I wanted to play with her, so I picked her up out of her crib, but then dropped her on her head on the floor

If you are going to use this story, then listen to what @mehc012 said and do not use this line in your essay.

 

[Jplewis002]

You could talk about how your house is torn apart by incest, murder, and radical zealots.

 

[Lannister]

If you are going to use this story, then listen to what @mehc012 said and do not use this line in your essay.

Sorry, can you explain what's wrong with that line? Is it just because it shows that I actively injured her?

 

[Lannister]

You could talk about how your house is torn apart by incest, murder, and radical zealots.

That was my backup plan if this doesn't work out.

 

[Cawolf]

Sorry, can you explain what's wrong with that line? Is it just because it shows that I actively injured her?

Right. Sharing that information does nothing to advance your story of "Why Medicine?".

I would do this:

I'd briefly describe the actual incident fairly dispassionately, if you go this route...like "we were playing together doing X when she fell and..."
Then elaborate on the emotional adversity that caused.

Basically, describe the situation without actually painting it as your fault - most people would understand why a child would feel as if they were to blame if their sibling was seriously injured while they played together. You should be able to talk about this now without taking all the guilt onto yourself. If you are not, you should not use this.

 

[The Real SVB]

Sorry, can you explain what's wrong with that line? Is it just because it shows that I actively injured her?

It's awkward for all parties.

 

[Lannister]

Right. Sharing that information does nothing to advance your story of "Why Medicine?".

I would do this:

Ah okay I see what you mean! So I'll just be kind of vague and brief about the specifics of the incident, then.

 

[DokterMom]

@Lannister - Since you seem to be convinced that you are to blame for this, might I suggest that you speak to your sister's doctors to make sure that your two-year-old actions actually ARE responsible for your sister's injuries? Virtually every American baby falls or is dropped on the head at some point in infancy, and the VAST majority emerge unscathed. Could be you're not at all the cause of her disabilities.

 

[f4reignbeauty]

.

 

[DokterMom]

For a secondary, the adversity question may not have to directly on why medicine. The issue here isnt the action that cause the injury, Rather, it is how a person holding a long time emotional guilt of rather large perceived guilt, shame, and how they could face, overcome it, and grow from it.

Whether or not the OP's act had directly to do with his sister's injuries is beside the point. He has perceived and internalized the blame, whether justified or not, and must deal with that psychological baggage. Perception and blame cause the psychological issue, not the rational result of some action.

True, certainly. I was just suggesting that perhaps he isn't even truly to blame at all, and may be able to finally 'throw off' entirely the weight he has learned to bear.

 

[Lannister]

@Lannister - Since you seem to be convinced that you are to blame for this, might I suggest that you speak to your sister's doctors to make sure that your two-year-old actions actually ARE responsible for your sister's injuries? Virtually every American baby falls or is dropped on the head at some point in infancy, and the VAST majority emerge unscathed. Could be you're not at all the cause of her disabilities.

I've spoken to my parents about it and they've confirmed it.

 

[whitemagic]

Question for you guys:

A student (who is a fully grown adult) comes on SDN talking about how he has an IA for cheating on a test, then domestically abusing his wife, then drunk driving home from the bars 10 years ago. People tell him ADCOMS will forgive him given that he shows maturity and resilience, and that he learned from his mistakes.

A guy then comes onto SDN, talks about how he ruined his sister's life when he was 3 years old (EMPHASIS ON THREE YEARS OLD), unconscious and unable to make his own decisions. People here tell him to include this on his app under no circumstances.

Why? If an ADCOM holds a bias towards a student being "irresponsible" for something that they did WHEN THEY WERE THREE, then I will just be flabbergasted.

 

[Lannister]

For a secondary, the adversity question may not have to directly on why medicine. The issue here isnt the action that cause the injury, Rather, it is how a person holding a long time emotional guilt of rather large perceived guilt, shame, and how they could face, overcome it, and grow from it.




Whether or not the OP's act had directly to do with his sister's injuries is beside the point. He has perceived and internalized the blame, whether justified or not, and must deal with that psychological baggage. Perception and blame cause the psychological issue, not the rational result of some action.

Wow, thank your for perfectly summing up my thoughts!

 

[Lannister]

You do not want to paint yourself in a negative light whatsoever. Even though this is something you overcame, you have to be careful of the words you use. Someone can easily read this and infer things about your character (i.e. irresponsible) and you don't want that.

I can see that being an issue if it had happened a few years ago, but I am definitely not the same person I was when I was two lol. I think all two year old are irresponsible and reckless.

 

[StudyLater]

@Lannister - Since you seem to be convinced that you are to blame for this, might I suggest that you speak to your sister's doctors to make sure that your two-year-old actions actually ARE responsible for your sister's injuries? Virtually every American baby falls or is dropped on the head at some point in infancy, and the VAST majority emerge unscathed. Could be you're not at all the cause of her disabilities.

I've spoken to my parents about it and they've confirmed it.

@Lannisterspeak to your sister's doctors

I've spoken to my parents

It would be very easy for them to assign blame despite the fact that your actual involvement is not proven, simply out of frustration. They might have (and maybe they hadn't) brought this up with the doc, and he may have confirmed that it could have possibly had some effect on her current state. That would not, however, definitively assign you as the responsibly party. I'm not doing this to be devil's advocate; I'm doing this because this story may be interpreted this way by an adcom: you think your part in your sister's current state was much greater than it actually, probably was, which can end up sounding ridiculous and having more of a comical effect than the somber effect you were going for. The irony in and of itself could detract from the seriousness with which you expected your essay to be taken. This is just a thought, though: there are many perspectives one could take on this story. For all I know, every adcom that ends up reading it is deeply touched.

You do not want to paint yourself in a negative light whatsoever. Even though this is something you overcame, you have to be careful of the words you use. Someone can easily read this and infer things about your character (i.e. irresponsible) and you don't want that.

This makes no sense. Either you didn't read the OP's posts, or you're not reasoning clearly. It is highly unlikely they would associate the actions of a given two-year-old with the judgment of the corresponding adult version of said two-year-old. To humor you, much learning and growth occurs between the ages of two and twenty-something. The two-year-old version of OP is essentially a stranger that has nothing to do with the twenty-something OP and isn't even fit to be morally evaluated by anyone.

 

[LizzyM]

Why do med schools ask about your greatest adversity? Not because this is Queen For A Day (1950-60s TV reference) and they're giving a prize for the saddest story. It is because they want to see how you have risen to a challenge and overcome an adverse situation.

OP, you could say that through your teens you felt responsible for your sister's disability although you were just 2 years old when she suffered a serious injury that left her with physical and mental disabilities. (Your parents have put the blame on you but, frankly, they were negligent in not providing adequate supervision of an infant and a toddler. They've put the blame on you rather than themselves!) How you overcame these feelings of guilt and jealousy at the attention she required could be an "overcoming adversity" topic.

 

[DokterMom]

Why do med schools ask about your greatest adversity? Not because this is Queen For A Day (1950-60s TV reference) and they're giving a prize for the saddest story. It is because they want to see how you have risen to a challenge and overcome an adverse situation.

OP, you could say that through your teens you felt responsible for your sister's disability although you were just 2 years old when she suffered a serious injury that left her with physical and mental disabilities. (Your parents have put the blame on you but, frankly, they were negligent in not providing adequate supervision of an infant and a toddler. They've put the blame on you rather than themselves!) How you overcame these feelings of guilt and jealousy at the attention she required could be an "overcoming adversity" topic.

Thank you @LizzyM for articulating what I was tiptoeing around. That your parents blamed you -- even if they've "forgiven" you and assured you that you weren't responsible since you were only two... To put that burden onto you is frankly, unforgivable. Even if you did drop the baby, and even if that fall did cause her problems -- you didn't need to know that. You've spent your whole life carrying a burden that should never have been yours to carry. You could have (and should have been able to) live your whole life not feeling responsible for your sister's disabilities -- because you weren't responsible for them.

For what it's worth, I have also met more than one family with a disabled child where the parents vigorously insist that their child "wasn't born this way" despite clear and visible signs of genetic abnormalities. It's as if giving birth to a disabled child carries some stigma (to them it clearly does) that having a child disabled by injury (or vaccine) does not. This is part of the reason I suggest asking your sister's doctor, and not your parents.

 

[Lannister]

Thank you, everyone, for your advice. I should clarify that my parents never said to me, "you dropped your sister on her head and that's why she has CP". What happened was they told me the story of me dropping her, but left it at that, they never mentioned any consequences. I put two and two together over the years and when I asked my mom about it, she confirmed it. I don't even know if she realized how much it affected me. She just said something like, "yep, the doctors think it was probably related".

I'll definitely acknowledge that my parents haven't handled this in the best way, and I know that they're very bitter about it all, but I still don't blame them for putting me through this. They did the best they knew how to do. I don't even think it could be considered negligence on their part. I walked into their bedroom while they were asleep and picked her up out of her crib. They didn't wake up until they heard her crying and found her on the floor. I don't want any part of my essay to seem like I'm blaming them, I love my parents and I wouldn't be where I am today without them, despite their flaws.

 

[Lannister]

@StudyLater For some reason I'm not able to quote your post. But I see what you're saying, and you're right that I don't know for sure if I caused it, so I was probably placing too much blame on myself. Would it be okay to take this approach and say that although I don't know for sure if her disabilities are the direct results of my actions, the knowledge that they might be haunted me for many years?

 

[NeuResurgens]

A student (who is a fully grown adult) comes on SDN talking about how he has an IA for cheating on a test, then domestically abusing his wife, then drunk driving home from the bars 10 years ago. People tell him ADCOMS will forgive him given that he shows maturity and resilience, and that he learned from his mistakes.

Um, any one of those would likely single-handedly sink someone's app, let alone all three. Who the heck told you acdoms would be OK with that kind of IA? I've seen adcoms specifically say that cheating is an enormous red flag, a history of abuse is the absolute end of your chances in medicine, and that drunk driving is very serious as well.

 

[NeuResurgens]

Why do med schools ask about your greatest adversity? Not because this is Queen For A Day (1950-60s TV reference) and they're giving a prize for the saddest story. It is because they want to see how you have risen to a challenge and overcome an adverse situation.

OP, you could say that through your teens you felt responsible for your sister's disability although you were just 2 years old when she suffered a serious injury that left her with physical and mental disabilities. (Your parents have put the blame on you but, frankly, they were negligent in not providing adequate supervision of an infant and a toddler. They've put the blame on you rather than themselves!) How you overcame these feelings of guilt and jealousy at the attention she required could be an "overcoming adversity" topic.

I think this is perfect. You don't need to say that you caused her injury; your feeling of responsibility is sufficient to get the point across. Regardless of how it actually happened, schools will see that a major event greatly affected you mentally and emotionally, and that you rose to the challenge of facing your guilt and discovered that you wanted to pursue medicine so that you could help people in similar circumstances.