jokes

[AwaPremed]

i just wanted to start a jokes thread for all those people taking finals.


"This past fall semester, at Yale University, there were two sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem. final was on Monday), they decided to go up to Harvard and party with some friends up there. So they did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to New Haven until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, what they did was find the professor after the final and explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to Cambridge for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus. The prof thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved.

So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that the prof had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about free radical formation and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page.



It said:



"'(95 points) Which tire?'"

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[DeterminedMD]

Good one!

 

[americanangel]

Got Two For Ya!!!
First One:
Three men were due to be executed one day - one University of Alabama graduate, one Florida State graduate and one Auburn University graduate.

The Alabama grad was the first to be brought in front of the firing squad. Just when they were about to fire, he shouted, "Tornado!" The guards all turned around, and he escaped by jumping over the wall.

Next in line was the Florida State grad, now confident that he too will be able to escape. So, just when they were about to fire, he shouted, "Flood!" The guards turned around and he too managed to escape.

Now it was the turn of the Auburn grad, wondering what disaster he could use (now that tornado and flood had been used). Finally, just when the guards were about to shoot, he shouted, "Fire!"

Here's Another:
Joey was taking Calculus at UCLA. He struggled with it, and worried about failing. Final exam time came, and he studied and studied, but, still he was not ready.

The Professor passed out the exams and told the class that they had only 30 minutes. Every five minutes, he reminded the class how much time was left. This only made Joey more and more nervous.

Finally, after 30 minutes, the Professor said, "Stop! The exam is over. Turn them in!"

One by one, the papers were handed in. But, Joey just kept working on that exam. The Professor decided to wait it out and see how long it would take him.

After another 20 minutes, Joey turned in his exam. The Professor asked him, "What are you doing?"

Joey answered, "Turning in my exam."

The professor then told Joey, "The exam was over 20 minutes ago. You have failed!"

Joey then looked the Professor in the eye, and asked, "Do you know who I am?"

The professor answered, "No."

Then Joey asked, "You really don't know who I am, do you?" as if he were a very important person.

The Professor again, said, "No, I don't know who you are and I don't care!"

Then Joey shoved his exam right in the middle of the other exams, that were on the Professor's desk, and said, "Good!"



Oh man I have an orgo final in 3 hours....I'm fried and finals are just beginning!!!!!

 

[sunUCB]

what did the alabama grad get on his SATs?




drool

 

[flash]

was he hoping to get into an "elite" medical school.

Elite...

 

[americanangel]

was he hoping to get into an "elite" medical school.

Elite...

funny

 

[vhawk]

The "Joey taking a Calculus test at UCLA" was featured in the movie, Slackers. This isnt to bag on yer joke, its still hilarious, just lettin you know.

 

[Quynh2007]

just thought i'd add this for ppl who haven't heard it. i've heard another ending (the opposite in fact b/c he did score)

Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic?

 

[americanangel]

The "Joey taking a Calculus test at UCLA" was featured in the movie, Slackers. This isnt to bag on yer joke, its still hilarious, just lettin you know.

cool tidbit!!! didn't know that!

 

[rachmoninov3]

not finals oriented, but funny nonetheless:

what does OB-GYN stand for?


Oh
Boy
Got
You
Naked!