Kids or no kids?

[stormjen]

The posts about the professor and physician with no kids made me wonder what you folks think about having children. Some of you have them already, but what about the ones who don't? Do you intend to have them? I am wishy washy on the whole idea. I've been married for almost four years now but have not had any. This has been because I've been in med school and didn't have the time/resources, and also because my husband has not been ready. But also because *I* haven't been ready. I love babies but find teenagers to be pretty annoying. To be honest, I'd rather have a dog or a horse than a kid. But part of me wants a family. I'm getting up there in years so will have to make up my mind one way or the other, probably after starting residency. What do you folks think?

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[bananaface]

If part of you wants a family, then that part of you is going to regret not having one more and more as you get older. When you have teenagers, you will love them even if they are annoying. That's my 2 cents, er, sentances.

 

[Doctor B.]

I want kids eventually just not yet.

 

[LADoc00]

I want kids eventually just not yet.

Ironically, in pathology its NEVER a good time to have kids. After residency is the worst time to start because you end up taking so much time off, your partners/employers generate some serious hate and unlike residency it doesnt go away after a 4 years.

For women thinking path was a way to go for family, think again. Ive seen this mistake made, other fields like Peds are far more amenable to children raising.

Dont know why Im wasting time responding to this, I have no kids. But Ive seen some serious bungles as a result of women getting pregnant often in small path groups.

 

[geddy]

Have kids - they're great. Even when they are born at 31 weeks gestation, the 4 days before you are scheduled to make a second visit to your top choices for residency and a week before your surgery sub-i starts.

There's never a good time... med school, residency, beginning practice... My PhD adviser had a child at 40, and it was tough for her. She wishes she had started earlier and had more than one. Managing life with kids is just like anything else - if you want to find a way to it, you can. My 2 cents.

 

[beary]

I think I definitely want a family some day. Right now it is fun to be single and not have any real responsibilities and just work whenever, watch tons of tv, spend hours on SDN , but when I think about growing older, retiring, etc., I just can't imagine not having a husband and kids.

 

[cytoborg]

No family here, and none to come. Our dogs are pushing it! (At least we can crate them for an evening if we want to go out.) Without children we can enjoy the things in life that we have strived for...an upscale loft in the city, a fast two-seater, fine wines in the pantry, impromptu road trips, charitable giving, and simply watching re-runs on the couch after work with a nice scotch, instead of beating the hellions into doing their homework and trying to stop them from smoking weed or getting pregnant.

 

[Freestyle]

Someday... After all, it would be a shame not to pass onto the next generation these sweet crossover dribble, silky three point shooting and jumping skillz that would make Sir Isaac rethink his Laws O' Physics genes.

 

[cjw0918]

Storm, I know exactly how you feel. The thought of tossing out my birth control scares the crap out of me, but I know I want a baby sometime in the next five years. Right now, my husband and I remind ourselves how much we enjoy our cats when we see children misbehaving in public. Someday we will be ready, but not right now. I think I would really regret not having any children at all.

LAdoc, SHUT UP! I do not want to hear s*** like what you posted, even if it's true. I, as well as most other female soon-to-be physicians, already worry about things like that enough. (Will my colleagues hate me if I'm on maternity leave? What if I have pregnancy complications and have to be on bed rest? What, dear God, if my baby is not normal?) If I ever work with a group of bastards that want to begrudge me a reasonable maternity leave and complain about my abscence in the face of such a life-changing event, they can screw themselves. There are options in path amenable to family life. While some small private practices may be primarily interested in churning out cases to bring in the bucks, an academic job (obviously NOT an elite institution) may be less demanding and more flexible for the time being. There's no reason to scare women pathologists into thinking they're hosed as far as family, just because they may not be able to work in a demanding, high-turnover private practice and have babies. Not all of us have to be making mad bank and a star to consider our jobs worthwhile. Could you try to post something encoraging (hell, I'd settle for neutral) just once, rather than always assigning yourself the 'Voice of Doom' role on this message board?

 

[LADoc00]

No family here, and none to come. Our dogs are pushing it! (At least we can crate them for an evening if we want to go out.) Without children we can enjoy the things in life that we have strived for...an upscale loft in the city, a fast two-seater, fine wines in the pantry, impromptu road trips, charitable giving, and simply watching re-runs on the couch after work with a nice scotch, instead of beating the hellions into doing their homework and trying to stop them from smoking weed or getting pregnant.

I support this decision to not pass on the "Cytopathology" gene to curse the next generation of pathology.

Thank you sir and the babies thank you.

 

[geddy]

Will my colleagues hate me if I'm on maternity leave? What if I have pregnancy complications and have to be on bed rest? What, dear God, if my baby is not normal?

I think you can get a feel for this when you interview at the programs for residency. I was really impressed with Hopkins - several of the residents were pregnant or with kids already and it worked well. The residents seem to get along great and help each other out as needed. I don't know where you are in your training right now - but hopefully, you can get into a program with high quality residents that help each other. If you try to help out others in your program when they need you, it will show through. Some people will always complain, but what can you do?

Granted it's easier for me, since I'm male - and I have a wonderful wife, who is not in the medical field. But, I think it would be a terrible regret to live with, if you want to have kids and don't do it. And what if you have trouble conceiving? Best not to wait too late to try, in that case. Life is full of variables - just decide what you want to do, plan as best you can, and go for it.

 

[bananaface]

Think about it this way. How long is maternity leave relative to other lengthy staff vacations? 6 weeks vs 2 to 4?

 

[LADoc00]

Will my colleagues hate me if I'm on maternity leave?
Answer: As a resident on CP, likely no one will care, on AP depending on the place, you may inspire lifelong hatred (I witnessed this firsthand), but once again who cares, most of people you are residents with will be passing aquaintances in a a few years out anyway. Its the fools who think Ill wait until after residency that are in for the big shock. A 4 man group operates with 3 on and 1 off. The one off often will stay close to home if someone gets sick. Now, that doesnt give much wiggle room should 1 person get pregnant, but say if 1 does and someone else gets sick? SIANARA BABY, you ass just became the USS Arizona at Pearl Harbor. Because what happens is one of the 2 people left is likely not a partner yet or is a junior person and now he/she is getting bent over while you are at home taking a hefty 6 figure salary and kicking it. Well, that junior person gives you the finger, as they should, and bails. Now what? Youre knocked up, you got one old geezer on a ventilator because his emphysema finally kicked his ass and you have one sole SOB doing the x3 the work, going at home at night and probably doing speed.

Think about that....Im not out there creating reality, just reporting it.

Hey you want something positive?? I'll give you a gem piece of advice almost NONE of you will take: Do TM/BB. TM and Pregger works, Surg Path and Pregger is a no go. But you will all ignore this so why am I bothering eh?

 

[LADoc00]

If I ever work with a group of bastards that want to begrudge me a reasonable maternity leave and complain about my abscence in the face of such a life-changing event, they can screw themselves.

Sheesh, wrote that whole thing to find out cjw was an OT student, okay this doesnt pertain to you....

Oh Nos I FORGOT- In Pathology Shangri La, where you have 6 months of vacation a year, you can have all the babies you want! The problem might be gettin there tho. But, if I make it Shangri La, Ill hire nothing but young women who want to have tons of babies, in an effort to bring balance to the world and make up for my own and Cytoborg's lack reproductive prowess.

Always look on the bright side of life....

 

[beary]

Cjw you aint getting it sweety, when you are gone, your colleagues lives will suffer. And guess what? There might a woman or 2 in that group with you, they might have had to pass up their childbearing years because they wanted to make their group work and here you come along not giving a rat's ass and plop dont right in the middle of it to take a big heapin crap.

I am as committed to my work as anybody, and I don't think any woman is going to pass up her childbearing years just "to make their group work." Your argument applies to ANY woman with ANY job who wants to have kids - in no way is it limited to path. If a waitress goes on maternity leave, guess what - somebody else has to wait those tables! Whenever anybody leaves their job for a period of time, it will inconvenience their coworkers. That's just how it is. There is a possibility someday that you will be ill, somebody in your family will be ill, whatever, that will require you to miss work for an extended period. Will your coworkers cover for you - they should! I would cover for any of my coworkers if they were out, and I expect the same.

 

[LADoc00]

I am as committed to my work as anybody, and I don't think any woman is going to pass up her childbearing years just "to make their group work." Your argument applies to ANY woman with ANY job who wants to have kids - in no way is it limited to path. If a waitress goes on maternity leave, guess what - somebody else has to wait those tables! Whenever anybody leaves their job for a period of time, it will inconvenience their coworkers. That's just how it is. There is a possibility someday that you will be ill, somebody in your family will be ill, whatever, that will require you to miss work for an extended period. Will your coworkers cover for you - they should! I would cover for any of my coworkers if they were out, and I expect the same.

Yeah, sounds logical but path groups are all funny. Something I didnt realize til lately even. I agree MOST jobs when someone leaves the sky is not falling, but we are talking about a multimillion dollar small business, one that requires constant attention and focused work by the principles. Pathology isnt a Quizno's franchise you can open and walk away from to let some 20 year old manager run. In fact, in that sense path is kinda different from the rest of medicine. Say in peds, you have to take an extended time off, you let your group handle your patients or new patients go to another group. No biggie.

Pathologists cant control the spigot of work like that. You cant say "Ive had enough for the day, cancel the rest of my appointments, Ive made enough money now" You have to stay, stay until the last frozen or rapid cytology. Residencies in path really give you a false impression of RL, even more so I think than other fields.

And pathology isnt the type of thing you can say, hey we need a temporary replacement, because although some people do locums in path, it WAY less common than for other specialities plus a single crappy pathologist can bankrupt a whole group or lose them their contracts.

Might have to be forced to go with a big HMO, something like Kaiser or stay in an academic setting if you really want that "Employee-I can leave anytime" type of job.

Shiat, its not like I made the rules to this game.

 

[geddy]

Hey you want something positive?? I'll give you a gem piece of advice almost NONE of you will take: Do TM/BB. TM and Pregger works, Surg Path and Pregger is a no go. But you will all ignore this so why am I bothering eh?

Beats me Sound advice, though - pregnancy during surg path would be the worst - any time during CP should be ok.

 

[stormjen]

Alternatively--and this is sounding more appealing by the hour, just get another pet. I have two cats currently and plan to expand the family by a St. Bernard or other large dog once I have a house. Or if I feel the need to have a kid, maybe I'll just adopt. I don't want to be pregnant. I mean, I need my wine.

 

[bananaface]

You can adopt.

 

[geddy]

Alternatively--and this is sounding more appealing by the hour, just get another pet. I have two cats currently and plan to expand the family by a St. Bernard or other large dog once I have a house. Or if I feel the need to have a kid, maybe I'll just adopt. I don't want to be pregnant. I mean, I need my wine.

I think dogs are way messier than kids, especialy big hairy ones (uh... big hairy dogs, not kids). Yuck - give me a poo-filled diaper anyday over a house full of hair and that persisent odor.

 

[1Path]

If I ever work with a group of bastards that want to begrudge me a reasonable maternity leave and complain about my abscence in the face of such a life-changing event, they can screw themselves.

And as for peds being more woman friendly, I've NEVER heard a female pediatrician say that and it seems to me that anyone with a kid or two would know better as well

I also heard somewhere that ~48% of fertility problems are related to MEN, so perhaps the guys in their late 20's early 30's better start thinking about this before that which seems "full" becomes "blank"!

 

[b&ierstiefel]

someone said poo?

 

[stormjen]

someone said poo?

False alarm, honey.

 

[bananaface]

False alarm, honey.

Yeah, it was just kind of a loud fart.

 

[deschutes]

If we are convinced that path is amenable to family life, why do we care what LADoc00 says?

 

[LADoc00]

If we are convinced that path is amenable to family life, why do we care what LADoc00 says?

I changed my mind and now want to have tons of babies, who's with me on this plan?

An army of SDN Pathology babies to rule the world!

 

[geddy]

I changed my mind and now want to have tons of babies, who's with me on this plan?

An army of SDN Pathology babies to rule the world!

Oh, the humanity!

 

[yaah]

Deschutes used a smilie!

SDN path babies, eh? that might be interesting. Must they be produced by two SDN pathers?

 

[LADoc00]

Deschutes used a smilie!

SDN path babies, eh? that might be interesting. Must they be produced by two SDN pathers?

If you dilute the path blood line, the babies cant be called "True Bloods" anymore, they must called half-breeds, although sometimes half-breeds can be very resourceful because they got the path genes mixed up with other skillz for example:

The Dermatology-Path halfbreed: A very potent baby combo, usually the mom is the dermatologist.

The Radiology-Path halfbreed: Richer than Richie Rich, future Exeter grad, often goes into a super high paying areas like investment banking because as a baby his crib was often padded with hundred dollar bills.

The Peds-Path halfbreed: Always female Peds/male Path. These babies are the most docile of all breeds, known for their shy cooing and unending clinging to mom. They always want to stay close. These end up being the eternal J.C. student living at home. Often vegetating for most of their 20s and early 30s playing computer games.

The Surgeon-Path halfbreed: These babies are often left to fend for themselves, sometimes for days and end up not being able to recognize their parents in a line up by the age of 5. Often call the nanny (Rosarita) mom. These babies have a dark heart and the makings of a serial killer.

The MBA-Path halfbreed: A winner, these are pretty rare as most pathologists lack the social skillz to mooch their way into a grad school of biz party to meet em. So, a boy MBA-girl path is the more likely combo.

JD-Path halfbreed: OOOo. Kinda like the Debil himself. They can find shiat on anyone and if not have the medical know how to plant the evidence as needed.

Research-Path halfbreed: Typically picked on at school, a loner who ends up fantasizing about recreating scenes from the Basketball Diaries, often is confused about his/her sexuality.

Children of Radiology-Path matings chumming around at prep school.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

Research-Path halfbreed: Typically picked on at school, a loner who ends up fantasizing about recreating scenes from the Basketball Diaries, often is confused about his/her sexuality.

 

[yaah]

Exeter sucks.

 

[LADoc00]

Exeter sucks.

*Only a Rad Onc-Path mating produces an offspring worthy of Andover.


*Nature Genetics 2005

PS- Often the Research-Path matings result in the unthinkable: A Yale Undergrad!! THE HORROR. The ambigiously gay children of this abominable pairing are doomed to drift between 2 worlds.

He was the part of this whole Yale Thing. Yale thing? Yale thing. What do mean By Yale thing? He was probably homosexual and did a lot of cocaine, the Yale thing.

-American Psycho

 

[DarksideAllstar]

*Only a Rad Onc-Path mating produces an offspring worthy of Andover.


*Nature Genetics 2005




PS- Often the Research-Path matings result in the unthinkable: A Yale Undergrad!! THE HORROR. The ambigiously gay children of this abominable pairing are doomed to drift between 2 worlds.


Quote:
He was the part of this whole Yale Thing. Yale thing? Yale thing. What do mean By Yale thing? He was probably homosexual and did a lot of cocaine, the Yale thing.



-American Psycho

Oh yes, a truly magnificent book. I highly recommend picking it up if you haven't read it.

 

[yaah]

Yale undergrads. Sheesh. My graduating class had like 35 of them or even more moving on to Yale, including Mr Kerry's daughter.

Exeter people are funny. I am an Exonian!

 

[beary]

Yaah, did you really go to Exeter? (With all the jokes around here, sometimes it's hard to what is real!)

 

[Pingu]

I am an Exonian!

Better than being an intronian and getting spliced....

 

[yaah]

Yaah, did you really go to Exeter? (With all the jokes around here, sometimes it's hard to what is real!)

No, I wouldn't have been caught dead there. I did go to Andover though.

 

[sapience8x]

I have a toddler and lemme tell you something, they aren't too difefrent from teenagers. seriously. they do the opposiet of what they tell you to do, pout, throw tantrums and then turn aroudn and wnat to act like babies and ist on your lap. and toddlers do the same thing! toddler talk back too. teenagers just have a larger vocabulary and have learned how to manipulate a bit more. only a little bit though. toddlers ar egood at it too.

LA Doc- even though i'm not going into path just because of it's family friendlieness, several women int he field have given this as a perk. adn i do not think that peds is more conducive to a family, having worked with a pediatrician. theonly way they handling it is by wokring 4 days a week adn thus taking a pay cut but only becuas etheyhave to work half a day on saturdays maybe once a month and be on call once a month. so i don't think that's it more fmaily freindly at all except since everyone seems to work 4 days a week, the won't balk if you want to do that too.

but yes kids are a lot of hard word and responsibility. a lot of joy too but alot harder than i expected . enjoy yourself first and have them when you are 38 or something.

 

[sapience8x]

Williston Northampton rocks!

 

[beary]

No, I wouldn't have been caught dead there. I did go to Andover though.

Cool!

I went to public school. There isn't really anything else to say about that.

 

[beary]

Better than being an intronian and getting spliced....

splicing

I think splicing is my most hated topic in all of science. I was giving a poster once and somebody asked me about it and I almost barfed on them.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

I too went to a public high school. Eleanor Roosevelt H.S. It had a Science & Technology program which you had to test to get into. I didn't make it in (cuz my grades in middle school sucked ass and my test scores sucked too) but they gave me a Science & Tech diploma by mistake.

Furthermore, the prize for the nerdiest post tonight on SDN pathology goes to...

*drum roll*

PINGU

for the intron comment.

Take a bow you nerdy mother****er

 

[stormjen]

Take a bow you nerdy mother****er

Isn't Pingu a girl? I didn't think girls could be called mother****ers. ********ers maybe. Bleep.

 

[Pingu]

I think splicing is my most hated topic in all of science. I was giving a poster once and somebody asked me about it and I almost barfed on them.

See, I LOVE genetics. I've loved it since high school, when I first learned about mendel and his peas. This then made me a freak, because what normal hs freshman walks around talking about genetics? Add that to the fact that I was into british literature and I also enjoy sequencing. All the little CATGs make me smile

I've thought about doing a molecular genetics fellowship, but that would make me an academic and my taste in shoes, cars, and handbags is definitely NOT academic

 

[b&ierstiefel]

Isn't Pingu a girl? I didn't think girls could be called mother****ers. ********ers maybe. Bleep.

Well I could've called her an uncle****er or a father****er or a daddy****er or a pig****er. But I thought mother****er would do just fine.

 

[b&ierstiefel]

See, I LOVE genetics. I've loved it since high school, when I first learned about mendel and his peas. This then made me a freak, because what normal hs freshman walks around talking about genetics? Add that to the fact that I was into british literature and I also enjoy sequencing. All the little CATGs make me smile

I've thought about doing a molecular genetics fellowship, but that would make me an academic and my taste in shoes, cars, and handbags is definitely NOT academic

Yeah, I bet you ****in' loved the movie GATTACA too right? Hey do you notice anything about the letters in that movie title?

 

[Pingu]

Isn't it a sign of being truly destined for pathology when you can joke in genetics?

Don't make me go all lac operon on your ****in ass

 

[Pingu]

Yeah, I bet you ****in' loved the movie GATTACA too right? Hey do you notice anything about the letters in that movie title?

That movie ****in sucked like the sheep****in scrotum of a bat. I spent half of the movie explaining genetics to my husband and the other half annoyed at the un-****in-possibility of their technology.

I liked jurassic park the book though. The movie just didn't have enough plot for me

 

[b&ierstiefel]

That movie ****in sucked like the sheep****in scrotum of a bat. I spent half of the movie explaining genetics to my husband and the other half annoyed at the un-****in-possibility of their technology.

I liked jurassic park the book though. The movie just didn't have enough plot for me

jurassic park ey?

**** that.

 

[stormjen]

Huh, I loved Gattaca. Uma Thurman is one of my favorite actresses, so that probably biased me somewhat.