Lazy People

[pathologyDO]

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[DocVapor]

I've got family members like that. It is what it is. They are family, so I try to enjoy their company when I am around, but don't fall for the trap of "helping them out" when they run out of everyone else's money. Beyond that, spending any more time dwelling on it is only going to bring myself down.

 

[Kahreek]

Being jealous is a sin.

They don't work and yet they have money. ****in nice.

 

[AlmostAnMD]

Being jealous is a sin.

They don't work and yet they have money. ****in nice.

Yup. Nothing wrong with livin' the easy life. Don't expect a pity party because you "work hard". As long as they're not running drugs over the border or plotting domestic terrorism related stuffs, who cares what they do to pass the time? Not able to "respect" your own family sounds like you've got other issues to worry about...

 

[WhippleWhileWeWork]

I don't know, maybe you guys can relate. Lately I cannot get over the people in my family. Both sides have money and my age cohort consists of about 6-7 people. Out of us, I am the ONLY one who has gone to and completed college. As an MS1 working hard still, it bugs the hell out of me to see my cousins just given money to not get a job and do nothing with their lives... And it's like our parents who work for their money don't care that they are being mooched off of, and somehow I am the only one willing to work for my money.

What bugs me is that nobody my age in my family can even relate to my hard work. They all sit around and get nice cars, free rent... things are just given to them despite being in their 20s. Yet here I am working my ass off so that I can make money. It doesn't just stop at my age cohort either.. Even though my father went to college and has 3 degrees, he chooses to work for the govt in a position making probably $50K, while at the same time just built a new house completely solar powered, water heating floors, 3 stories, built on a very nice patch of land. Where does he get his money from? His dead dad.

So all of them have money but do nothing but mooch, most besides my father haven't even gone to college. How am I supposed to respect them? How do I even try to associate with them when their very methodology and outlook on life is in such stark opposition to how I live my life?

Anyone else have similar probs? Disgusted by lazy people?

I'll say it, You're better than them.

Alright, feel better?

I'm only half kidding.
Moochers gone mooch, man. Put your nose back to the grindstone, you've got work to do.

 

[Kahreek]

imagine you have a car crash tomorrow, because you refused that new nice car that your family offered you.
Your cousins, driving their nice audis with ABS and stuff, arrived safely home.
They are devastated you died, one of them even drops his life of blow hookers and audis and applies for pre med. Some years later down the road he is a founder of a free clinic that has your name. He gives a speech at inaugural day about you being his inspiration for all that.
Would you then forgive him?

 

[WhippleWhileWeWork]

imagine you have a car crash tomorrow, because you refused that new nice car that your family offered you.
Your cousins, driving their nice audis with ABS and stuff, arrived safely home.
They are devastated you died, one of them even drops his life of blow hookers and audis and applies for pre med. Some years later down the road he is a founder of a free clinic that has your name. He gives a speech at inaugural day about you being his inspiration for all that.
Would you then forgive him?

Come on, this is so unrealistic. There's no good reason why he'd drop the Audi in this scenario.

 

[mirabelle]

you have been given the talent and strength to go that far in your studies and that was free too. You have difficulty to accept certain behavior because you don't allow your self to have the same. I know how it feels like when you work hard, especially on yourself, to gain some things and avoid some others, be better, while the others are having it easy and don' bother. You want things to be in equilibrium, that everyone works his part in order to make things easier for everyone. That is fair. But for the money thing, God gives what he wants to who ever he wants and that's the way it goes. You have that idea that wealth is something you earn by working hard. It's not necessarily true.(Your brain must adapt to the reality, not the contrary. ) Just like intelligence or talent, or anything else, they may not be given to everyone. The whole purpose is to make people work together, the strong work for the weak and the rich for the poor.

 

[pathologyDO]

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[Kahreek]

being a martyr wanting recognition is not very martyr of you.

 

[mirabelle]

"What makes it more difficult is that during our medical careers we are constantly told we need to care about other people and learn to empathize, yet when I talk with my family, its like nobody sees the sacrifices I am making and the hard work I put into this and show me any empathy. Its like being a martyr with no recognition."
You are making sacrifices and it is hard for you now and they should understand you and show you more compassion than that they should encourage you and be nice to you because, if I talk about me, I am more fragile when I work hard and spend crazy days of work during a long period ot time. It is like my battery becomes empty and I don't handle things as well as usually. You know who helped me the most: God just knowing who is God, just that, it makes me go through life smiling, what ever people do; I know that God is watching and that He is going to judge them one day and we all going to face our acts.

 

[pathologyDO]

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[pdxhopeful]

You're in for a frustrating life if people prioritizing different things from you gets you rattled.

Would I like some of the things my wealthier family members, who also inherited said wealth rather than building it, have? The opportunities? Sure. But I wouldn't trade the life I've got for theirs, not in a second. I know who I am, I know where I'm going, and I had a much healthier upbringing.

 

[BurghStudent]

I've made peace with all this by just thinking that, if anything ever goes wrong on a plane and the flight attendant yells, "Is there a doctor on board!?" Imma stroll up there all casual like.

 

[circulus vitios]

My extended family is like that, minus the wealth.

Anyway, it's their life so let them live it. "Wealth does not last three generations."

 

[Baller MD]

I've made peace with all this by just thinking that, if anything ever goes wrong on a plane and the flight attendant yells, "Is there a doctor on board!?" Imma stroll up there all casual like.

I won't. I don't want to get my ass sued if something goes wrong.

 

[pathologyDO]

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[D elegans]

You're going to make a great neurosurgeon

 

[Nasrudin]

OP, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Being an independent person is it's own reward. Possessing the intrinsic drive and developing the skills to be physician is way better than having things handed to you for nothing. Their life will never be as fulfilling as yours or anyone else who works at mastering something whether as lucrative as medicine or not.

 

[Deadlifts]

 

[EMDO2018]

Not having a career or purpose in life makes you depressed. People need something to feel important about. Your family may not be as happy as you think, they probably envy you.

 

[evilbooyaa]

I hope you're getting medical school paid for, at least. If it's just your cousins that have the money (and not your immediate family), then you just jelly bro.

 

[BobbyB]

are you working hard for yourself or for their validation?

why is it so important for you to have them appreciate your hard work?

 

[pathologyDO]

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[graviton]

Anyone else have similar probs?

Yes, I have too rich parents too.

 

[DermViser]

Because they're my family, my backbone since birth. Should I not want to seek some approval, some empathy from them?

No. Not when it comes to your career when you and only you have to deal with it. You should be doing this for yourself and not for others or you are in for years of disappointment.

 

[Donald Juan]

Listen, you are not a martyr, you are not sacrificing your life for others, and you are not wasting your 20's. Out of hundreds of thousands of students who start college wanting to be doctors, you're one of the lucky and determined few that made it through the weeding out process to get into med school. You are exactly where you decided you want to be, and you are doing exactly what you wanted to do in life. If you ever decide you want to change it and leave med school, you can.

Don't expect people to feel sorry for you and empathize with you. Especially not people with zero ambition that haven't worked a day in their life.

 

[DermViser]

Listen, you are not a martyr, you are not sacrificing your life for others, and you are not wasting your 20's. Out of hundreds of thousands of students who start college wanting to be doctors, you're one of the lucky and determined few that made it through the weeding out process to get into med school. You are exactly where you decided you want to be, and you are doing exactly what you wanted to do in life. If you ever decide you want to change it and leave med school, you can.

Don't expect people to feel sorry for you and empathize with you. Especially not people with zero ambition that haven't worked a day in their life.

Thank you. If you are going into this profession and feel like people should deify, or at the very least, respect you for your sacrifices that you went into the field of medicine, then PLEASE QUIT NOW. It hasn't been like this for decades, and we've finally entered the era in which physicians are being vilified by the public, media, health economists, and Ivory-tower doctor partisan hacks (who don't practice medicine) for healthcare costs. You are a greedy, selfish doctor who makes money and profits off of patients' suffering, and your job could easily be taken over by an NP or PA. As far as the public is concerned you can have your seat right next to the bankers.

No level of admiration from parents, relatives, friends, etc. will make up for this.

 

[Brain Bucket]

Meh, in a few years you'll find their company tedious. People who haven't 'lived' tend to be the most boring and tiresome people in the world. Live your life and be happy, and love your family for what it is.

 

[Psai]

There's no rule that says that you have to work hard to live. I'd rather them mooch off their parents than the government.

 

[Elisabeth Kate]

Seriously? Get over it. Quit judging others for things you don't have. There are plenty of people who have it a hell of a lot worse than you who hate you because you have the means to get a college education and apply to medical school, let alone get in. It's time to grow up and pave your way in the world without having your eyes out for those who choose a different path.

 

[DermViser]

Seriously? Get over it. Quit judging others for things you don't have. There are plenty of people who have it a hell of a lot worse than you who hate you because you have the means to get a college education and apply to medical school, let alone get in. It's time to grow up and pave your way in the world without having your eyes out for those who choose a different path.

So true. Life is way too painful in seeing how much "easier" everyone else has it. It will eat you up inside. It's not worth it.

 

[Anastomoses]

I don't know, maybe you guys can relate. Lately I cannot get over the people in my family. Both sides have money and my age cohort consists of about 6-7 people. Out of us, I am the ONLY one who has gone to and completed college. As an MS1 working hard still, it bugs the hell out of me to see my cousins just given money to not get a job and do nothing with their lives... And it's like our parents who work for their money don't care that they are being mooched off of, and somehow I am the only one willing to work for my money.

What bugs me is that nobody my age in my family can even relate to my hard work. They all sit around and get nice cars, free rent... things are just given to them despite being in their 20s. Yet here I am working my ass off so that I can make money. It doesn't just stop at my age cohort either.. Even though my father went to college and has 3 degrees, he chooses to work for the govt in a position making probably $50K, while at the same time just built a new house completely solar powered, water heating floors, 3 stories, built on a very nice patch of land. Where does he get his money from? His dead dad.

So all of them have money but do nothing but mooch, most besides my father haven't even gone to college. How am I supposed to respect them? How do I even try to associate with them when their very methodology and outlook on life is in such stark opposition to how I live my life?

Anyone else have similar probs? Disgusted by lazy people?

Sounds kind of nouveau riche, not to insult the family. People from excellent families have a majority going to great schools and doing great things with bums being the exception. Anyway, just bring up your children with class and productivity.

 

[pathologyDO]

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[pathologyDO]

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[Doctor Bob]

Come on, this is so unrealistic. There's no good reason why he'd drop the Audi in this scenario.

I got an audi a few months back... after a month or so came to the conclusion that I just didn't enjoy driving it... at least, not considering what I paid for it. I mean I liked the car, but I didn't love it and for the amount I paid for it I wanted to love it.

On the other hand if someone gave me one for free, I'd probably still be driving it, no matter how sad some family situation made me.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.