LDR during intern year

[cast129]

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[Trophy Husband]

Yes, it can work.

It might not. But it might, and you could end up a cute old couple telling stories of your LDR to your grandchildren.

I've been LDR with my wife multiple times in our relationship, both before and after marriage, including:
- after just 5 months of dating
- during her first two years of med school.

So my situation sounds similar to yours.

You appear to be putting a lot of well-reasoned thought and effort into your young relationship. I've tried my best to do the same in my relationship, and it's paid off so far. N=1 sample was a success.

Best of luck, you crazy kids.

 

[gostudy]

As I preface any piece of advice: only you can decide what is best for you, don't let anyone else convince you what to do. Also, I'm assuming you're also wisely seeking advice from peeps who know you in real life.

That being said I'll repeat the decision process I've shared elsewhere on the forum:

1. Are you planning on getting married?

If your answer to 1 is yes then proceed to 2. If it is no, then stop. I don't see any point in having a long distance relationship if there is no long-term plan. The reason I think this is important is that in general if you ask a female to somewhat alter her career to move to your city and then you end up being meh about long-term commitment once you are in the same city, the woman usually doesn't take kindly to that.

2. Can you handle a LDR? You two probably should have an honest conversation with each other about expectations and your ability to handle a LDR. Also, in reference to question 1, you should lay out the game plan for getting married so that you two are not in limbo during the LDR.

3. I'm assuming both of you are Texan. In which case, what's the big deal? lol. That is a 3.5 hour drive tops with traffic...usually much less especially if driving from central Houston to central SA...in Texas time/distance that's like an afternoon drive in the park. But seriously, in terms of LDRs that's not that big of a distance. You should have a discussion about number 2 above but in all reality most serious relationships should be able to survive a one year LDR with a distance of 3.5 hour drive. Plus, since you'll be an intern there won't be much difference between being in the same city and in different nearby cities. Even if your SO were in the same city you wouldn't see her that much except free weekends. In the case of a LDR you would still see each other on your free weekends.

 

[hypocritenazi]

I was accepted into my first choice program in Houston TX and couldn't be more excited about it. However, with my free time fourth year I met an amazing girl who is in a PhD program in San Antonio with 2 years left. We have been dating for about 9 months and I am completely determined to make the LDR work. She knew from the beginning that I would most likely want to leave San Antonio and has always been supportive and ready to go through a LDR.

Her program will mean that she has to spend at least 1 more year in San Antonio and for the final year she basically only has to be there one day a week and will be writing her dissertation so she says that she can move to Houston to be with me and it shouldn't be a problem since a lot of people in the program do that for their final year.

We watched an episode of Scrubs last night and she started to cry because we are going from being 10 minutes apart to me moving 3.5 hours away. We love being together and my question would be that since there is an endpoint (1 year) I'm very committed to making this work. What are some ways I can close the gap? Of course any chance I get I'll make the drive from Houston to San Antonio and she has weekends off and is willing to come see me...but I really want to make sure that shes happy and not just sitting in San Antonio upset or coming to my place with nothing to do and bored out of her mind.

I've thought about sending cards every so often so she can physically have something to touch, signing up for some frequent flyer things so if the drive becomes too much we can just split the 140 bucks to fly round trip.

Do you have any ideas or suggestions to help? Do you think its possible to do the LDR for one year? How stressful has intern year been on your relationships? Will I have the time to drive?

Thanks

Screw this, I was going to reply with my l33t relationship skillz, but this is too long. If you really want advice, learn concision.