LDR with SO in law school

[Tim_Hortons_Cafe]

Hello. So I've looked up LDR topics on SDN and I haven't been able to find one that is more mid-distance/addresses my specific situation. I would appreciate any feedback on anyone who has had a SO in professional school at the same time as them, too. Thank you.

My boyfriend is going to law school about 2 hours away from where I will be going to medical school. We have been together almost 2 years, and I really, really want this to work. He's said he would drive down once a month and stay for the weekend. I feel like I might not be able to make that same commitment, but I'm not sure how often you test in medical school. (I would probably try to visit after testing blocks). We plan to face-time, text, call each other frequently, and stay connected anyway we can. If anyone has any outside-the-box ideas for keeping relationships strong with distance, let me know.

The second issue is that he'll also be in law school. I want to be considerate of that. Part of me thinks that it's not the worst thing in the world, because at least we'll both be super busy and maybe neither of us will end up feeling super-neglected.

Any tips, advice, etc. appreciated.

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[Dating_a_DO]

Hey! I'm not in your exact position, but I went long distance with my boyfriend at our 1.5 year mark when he went to med school and I moved to a major city 3 states away to start my career as a consultant. Consulting wears and tears on you and I often feel just as (if not more) depleted of energy that my bf; I travel Sunday-Thursday every week and work long hours, sometimes on weekends, and have definitely had some periods where the connection felt tenuous. We just got out of an especially difficult one, too, where I felt like our relationship was on the line.

What kept us afloat? Communication and checking in with one another. When two people are truly in love, you are intuitive and aware enough to know when something doesn't feel "right". And when it doesn't, call it out. How else are you going to fix it? We realized that we have to put in deliberate effort to keep the connection strong. Just like you need to make time to eat, shower, and sleep, you need to make time for one another. Even if that is a few phone calls a week and then one virtual "Date night" on the weekend, where you cook together and eat dinner together over Facetime for a quick hour.

When you are together in person, make sure to try and fit in some fun between the studying. In long distance, the focus becomes maintenance rather than growth, so it essential to still share experiences together so that you don't stagnate.

I hope that helps, it is totally doable. Best of luck!

 

[Tim_Hortons_Cafe]

Hey! I'm not in your exact position, but I went long distance with my boyfriend at our 1.5 year mark when he went to med school and I moved to a major city 3 states away to start my career as a consultant. Consulting wears and tears on you and I often feel just as (if not more) depleted of energy that my bf; I travel Sunday-Thursday every week and work long hours, sometimes on weekends, and have definitely had some periods where the connection felt tenuous. We just got out of an especially difficult one, too, where I felt like our relationship was on the line.

What kept us afloat? Communication and checking in with one another. When two people are truly in love, you are intuitive and aware enough to know when something doesn't feel "right". And when it doesn't, call it out. How else are you going to fix it? We realized that we have to put in deliberate effort to keep the connection strong. Just like you need to make time to eat, shower, and sleep, you need to make time for one another. Even if that is a few phone calls a week and then one virtual "Date night" on the weekend, where you cook together and eat dinner together over Facetime for a quick hour.

When you are together in person, make sure to try and fit in some fun between the studying. In long distance, the focus becomes maintenance rather than growth, so it essential to still share experiences together so that you don't stagnate.

I hope that helps, it is totally doable. Best of luck!

I appreciate such an insightful and well thought out response. Thank you!