Letters to adcoms from whom you haven't heard a peep

[gdbaby]

Dear misc. Chicago school adcom:

I am an older student. I am an educator. I have used the word "process" many times. I can count at least 6 times I have used the word "process" this past week. So, you can imagine my befuddlement when I see my status page and the message that my application is "in process." What is this "process" of which you speak? "Process" suggests forward movement, a direction and a goal. Since my application has been in "process" for several months, I cannot help but think that "process" means something else in Chicago.

Ooooh. Perhaps I understand now. "Process" can also mean to convert one material into another ala processed cheese spread and processed pork byproducts. In which case, I envision that the "process" my application is going through is one to convert it from a thoughtful description of myself and my work into a steaming pile of wood pulp.

I apologize for this letter as I have figured out the answer myself.

Very truly yours,
gdbaby

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[RayhanS1282]

To Med School X:



Make some noise son.




Your Boi,
Rayhan

 

[ShyRem]

Dear To-Be-Unnamed Med School:

You really should take some of your undergraduate basic math courses to get a good understanding of the term "several". Several, while a wonderfully ambiguous term, means less than 20 weeks. You should admit me and consider a scholarship based on my deep understanding of mathematical terms that you use.

On the other hand, perhaps we wouldn't understand each other. I have a firm grasp on the English language and complicated terms like "several". I don't know what you think that term means. Could you please provide me the dictionary that supports your definition of the word "several"?

 

[jebus]

Dear Sir or Madam,
Hi. How are you? I'm doing well, thanks. Did you do something to your hair? No, well, maybe it's just you that looks nice. Did you lose weight? A couple of pounds! That's great. It's always hard to take off those extra few you got during the holidays. Me? Well, I've been watching my weight, thanks for noticing. Yeah...
So... I just have a few questions for you about my application. Oh, sure, you can take this call. I'm more than happy to wait. Your son did what?! It's a good thing he didn't get hurt. Is that your family in that picture over there? Well, they look beautiful.
So, listen, I'd like to ask a few questions about my application. What? No, I don't have an appointment. Really quick, I'd just like to know if -- Yes, I know there's a hole in my shirt. Actually, yes, I'm a little surprised you noticed. No, I don't know where it came from, I saw it a few days ago after I took it out of the dryer. It's not that big so I didn't really care about it. Well, no, I didn't think it I needed to line dry it. It's just a shirt, I can always get another one. No, no. Permanent press, 45 minutes. My other clothes look fine, except for those two socks that ran off to have a sordid tryst in the lint basket. I'm going to assume those two are fine, I didn't look at them too carefully. Yeah, I didn't think that would ruin it either but here we are.
So, about my application: I'd really like to know if there's been any movement or any change in my status. I'd just like to reiterate that I'm very interested in your curriculum and the integrated approach to -- Oh, what's that? You've got an appointment you need to get to? Oh, well, thank you for your time. I guess I'll just write to you again next week.
Have a good weekend.
Mr. DU

 

[diosa428]

Dear schools that I have not heard from,

I am writing to let you know that my deadline for rejections has passed. Since I did not hear from you in this timeframe, I will assume that I have been accepted, and will see you in the fall.

Sincerely,
diosa428

 

[ShyRem]

I seriously need to use that, diosa. (*cough* Colorado *cough*)

 

[noonday]

Dear AdCom,

I know that my undergraduate grades are low, and that my clinical experience is a bit out of the ordinary. But I am writing to unabashedly beg and plead for a chance to meet with you for an interview. I spent the bulk of my undergrad years (namely, semesters 2 through 4), in which I took all of the "BCMP" classes, greiving the deaths of close family, living in a haze of sadness and unfocused energy. In the years since, I have proven myself to be a more than competent research scientist with a dedication to the health and welfare of the community in which I live. I did very well on the MCAT, which I think should serve to show that I can handle the academic rigor of medical school. I don't know what else I could do to prove that medicine is the proper career, and that I would be worthy of your school, aside from the impossible of turning back the clock a decade and trying it again.

Please. Please just interview me. Test me. Do whatever you would need to do to be assured. I would be the kind of doctor that you would be proud to have hold one of your degrees. I promise you that, and I never go back on my word.

Sincerely,
noonday

 

[RxnMan]

Dear schools that I have not heard from,

I am writing to let you know that my deadline for rejections has passed. Since I did not hear from you in this timeframe, I will assume that I have been accepted, and will see you in the fall.

Sincerely,
diosa428

I once thought about sending out letters just like this, but never with such eloquence!

I spent the bulk of my undergrad years (namely, semesters 2 through 4), in which I took all of the "BCMP" classes, greiving the deaths of close family, living in a haze of sadness and unfocused energy. In the years since, I have proven myself to be a more than competent research scientist with a dedication to the health and welfare of the community in which I live. I did very well on the MCAT, which I think should serve to show that I can handle the academic rigor of medical school. I don't know what else I could do to prove that medicine is the proper career, and that I would be worthy of your school, aside from the impossible of turning back the clock a decade and trying it again.

Please. Please just interview me. Test me. Do whatever you would need to do to be assured. I would be the kind of doctor that you would be proud to have hold one of your degrees. I promise you that, and I never go back on my word.

Sincerely,
noonday

I feel your pain. It hurts when you accomplish something very difficult for anyone to do, let alone a student, and it's held against you.

 

[big_smiles]

Dear admissions commitee,
I think my filter on my email is not working correctly and may have lost correspondance with you. The postal service is also unreliable 4% of the time, so not to chance it, here is my phone number: 555-callmee. I am looking forward to hearing from you. I am sorry for the prior miscommunication. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Have a super duper spectacular day!
Sincerely,
Smiles

 

[big_smiles]

Dear Adcom,

Where are you? Show some love.

Love,
Smiles

 

[TimmyTheWonderD]

Dear schools that have had my application since August 2005 and have not said word #1 to me at all,

I have not heard anything from you and I am growing a trifle concerned. I have paid to use your admission services and have yet to receive any service! Are you sure you are a medical school and not a law school? If you were a law school, your behavior would make more sense to me, as lawyers always want a lot of money up front before they can do anything for you. Then, to justify the ungodly fee they just charged you they drag things out for decades! Are you sure that you are not a law school? Is your legal department involved with your admissions services? Just thought I would ask as it has been six months now and I am beginning to think you hate me. Maybe you do not hate me, maybe you have lost my application in that black hole you call your “office”. Or perhaps you accidentally spilled coffee on my application and are having trouble making out my MCAT scores but are too embarrassed to just call me to clarify what they are. It could have been my application that flew off the stack on your desk when you cracked your fifth floor office window for some fresh air back in September when it was so hot around here. I bet you accidentally dropped my application from the stack you were carrying in a mud puddle while running to your car during that torrential downpour back in November. Too bad you did not see it there and you drove over it.

Will you ever get back to me? Ever?

Sincerely,
T