Low self-confidence....Please help!

[Syzzygy]

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I want to clarify that this isn't a pity party, and I'm asking for the truth, no matter how harsh that may be.

I'm sixteen years old, I went to college two years early, which means I'm a freshman now at a local Community College. I have one class left in my high school, (Alg. II) which has been a struggle. I do admit I could apply myself more, but math has always been a situation where I'm trying to paddle upstream. I make progress but then float backwards. Medicine has always been this...dream. I suffered from a cosmetic birth defect growing up, something referred to as Hemifacial Microsomia. It affected one side of my jawbone, and when I finally started to visit the hospital to undergo surgery, my team of doctors seemed like heroes to me. It sounds silly when I type it, but I wanted someone to look at me like I looked at them. They were outstanding, smart, individuals who led me to a happier life. I want to do that for others.

I have big goals, which scares me infinitely. I was never the math and science kid, but more of an artsy-I'm-going-to-write-books kid. I'm mostly discouraging myself because Medical School isn't something that you can leap into. It's a process, and I'm scared that I won't have that perseverance. I participated in Speech & Debate for two years, so it's incredibly easy for me to speak in front of others, but I'm scared of that disappointment. I'm scared to actually THINK about forming a Plan B for if/when I'm turned down for Med School.

I don't come from a wealthy family, my mother was a Business Admin major and my father got a Master's in English. My father has since passed away, meaning that I don't have much income to spare when it comes to upcoming costs.

To be honest, I'm struggling with these thoughts. I'm afraid that science and math will drown me, mainly because when I take tests, it's hard to concentrate. I know I can apply myself more, but when I'm 18 and graduate with an AA/HS diploma, I'm going to be thrown into major-based studies for my BA and I'm afraid that I'll change my mind about this. I want to be respected. I want to save lives. The specialty I'm looking into is Pediatrics, and to comfort infants to adolescents, I want to do it!

I'm just afraid that my dreams will fall short of the many goals I need to achieve.

 

[Turkishking]

You could always major in something you enjoy. Work extremely hard on your science courses.

 

[kamakazi5]

Start now taking an intro bio or chem course and go from there. Focus hard on that one course and you should make an A which will be a huge confidence boost; even a B in your first couple courses wouldn't be terrible.

This will get your confidence up and allow you to transition into a more rigorous schedule. Don't continue worrying and start out with a full time science load or you will likely be in a bad spot.

 

[ciestar]

Girl, I'm gonna say this right now, you're 16!!! Give yourself a chance to grow beyond just academics. You have so much time to decide what you want to ultimately do. Find those volunteer programs at hospitals for people your age. See if you can shadow. Hell, i am 26 and I know there's no way i could have ever started med school at 20. Give yourself a chance to learn about yourself as a person beyond just academics, you'd be surprised 🙂

EDIT: I agree with the above. Ease into college level courses if you have concerns if you can handle it or not (we've all been there, college is NOT hs). Prove to yourself you can do it, that's really the only way to boost your self confidence, perform well and knock it out of the park. You'll feel a lot better. And if you need it, seek out a tutor.

 

[creza]

Your past doesn't matter. A lot of people look for the career that fits in with everything they've ever been as a person, but don't do that. Don't say "I was an artsy kid growing up so Im not meant to be a scientist or doctor." If you want it now, that's what matters. I was the same way growing up. I was a theatre major coming into college. Despite enjoying them, math and science were my worst subjects. Then (long story short) I realized I wanted to be a doctor and I made them my best subjects. Don't let failure be an option for you. If you want it, do it. And apply yourself to the max in your classes (like your math class) because that's what this path takes. Focus on what's motivating you to be a doctor and let that motivate you in your premed classes. And dude, you're 16 and in college. That's awesome. Let that give you confidence.


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[stickgirl390]

Your story sounds a little like mine! My family history also has me interested in pediatrics as a result of personal experiences. In high school, I was drawn to arts (music and digital photography). I ended up majoring in film for my bachelors degree, and made sure to take the prereqs for medical school as well. You can major in whatever you want, as long as you take the 6-8 courses required for medical school. Best of luck to you! You're story is already fascinating, I'm sure you will accomplish great things.