Hey guys! I am a pre-med sophomore, straight As, research, shadow doctors, volunteer, etc. etc. and am doing everything I need to do to get into medical school, and am really proud of myself so far, but the problem is...I do not have friends. When I was a freshman, I was happy just studying all of the time, but now I feel really lonely and want friends! I have a roommate that I am kind of close with, and have some people in my classes and study with some people I would consider friends, but if I want to do something fun, I have no one to turn to. I need some advice! How should I make friends, and how do I balance friends and school?
Making friends while Pre-Med
- Thread starter rwsrws
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You dont need friends, you need jiu jitsu..
Try to get involved in on-campus orgs. Some can be very worthwhile and the repeated contact with other members will help you build friendships.
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Making friends is really important. It will help you be more social and being social is a huge attribute for applying to med school. I'd argue being social is darn near required. Anyway, sounds like you have a good foundation, so maybe do somethings that aren't related to med school, per se. Join a club not related to health. Getting a job working a few hours a week with other students is a great way to make friends. Take a P/F PE class in something where you have to interact with people (dance, wt lifting, team sports). Make friends outside of your academic goals.
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Been there, done that. I think that it's hard to find friends, but once you actually find a good friend, your friend group kind of grows and cultivates on its own.
Personally, I was super miserable my freshman year of undergrad because I wasn't hanging out with my high school friends and I hadn't made any college friends. My sophomore year, though, I met someone in a few of my classes who I became friends with and whose study group I joined. His friends became my friends, and their friends became my friends, and now I have this marvelous group of like-minded friends who have formed a support structure that has been so helpful in getting through undergrad and the application cycle. I also rekindled my friendships with high school friends and got closer to people in a non-university affiliated organization that I'm in.
As for balance, I think finding friends who are also busy is helpful. I think that taking advantage of breaks between classes (like getting lunch or just goofing around together), using weekends when you don't have an exam coming up on Monday, and doing extracurricular activities with your friends are good ways of being able to balance your time. If your friends are also busy, they'll definitely understand where you're coming from when you can't hang out.
Personally, I was super miserable my freshman year of undergrad because I wasn't hanging out with my high school friends and I hadn't made any college friends. My sophomore year, though, I met someone in a few of my classes who I became friends with and whose study group I joined. His friends became my friends, and their friends became my friends, and now I have this marvelous group of like-minded friends who have formed a support structure that has been so helpful in getting through undergrad and the application cycle. I also rekindled my friendships with high school friends and got closer to people in a non-university affiliated organization that I'm in.
As for balance, I think finding friends who are also busy is helpful. I think that taking advantage of breaks between classes (like getting lunch or just goofing around together), using weekends when you don't have an exam coming up on Monday, and doing extracurricular activities with your friends are good ways of being able to balance your time. If your friends are also busy, they'll definitely understand where you're coming from when you can't hang out.
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I definitely recommend joining student orgs, working a part time job, and forming study groups. I initially met one of my really good friends in college at work, but our friendship really blossomed when we were in the same TBL group in physics I. Nothing quite like shared misery to bring you closer to someone, tbh. If your school has any type of residential learning community, that can be a nice way to meet people with similar interests - that's how I met my current roommates. I also joined a professional fraternity, and with that came a ton of new people to hang out with. We've gotten really into going to the movies every week on the day our local movie theater offers 1/2 off prices, and people are always doing fun things together.
As for work, one of my good friends started off as a coworker, but she ended up being one of our apartment subletters over the summer and I ended up becoming really good friends with her after living with her for a couple of months.
As for work, one of my good friends started off as a coworker, but she ended up being one of our apartment subletters over the summer and I ended up becoming really good friends with her after living with her for a couple of months.
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All this being said, I will never stop being friends with my core group of HS buddies. They totally keep me grounded (I'll always be silly @freak7 to them even when I have MD behind my name). They have been a great source of support throughout some of the most difficult times in my life.
Point being: A lot of people will tell you to ditch your HS friends once you hit college and a ton of your HS friendships will start fading, but if you're having fun with a group of people there's no reason to not keep them around.
Point being: A lot of people will tell you to ditch your HS friends once you hit college and a ton of your HS friendships will start fading, but if you're having fun with a group of people there's no reason to not keep them around.
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Completely second this. Next year, I will have been friends with my high school best friend for 10 years. Of all my friends (including my college friends), she has probably been the most supportive, and she has seen me at my best and my worst. She knows my family issues better than anyone, hahaha. I am historically not great at communicating with loved ones sometimes (I am the opposite of clingy) but I make sure to keep up with her. Especially because she's admitted to being clingy LOL (Just kidding, although she actually said this the other day in reference to something else).
Have you tried asking these people to do something fun?
Pro-tip: provide alcohol and they'll say yes
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In addition to the suggestions set forth above, you might try to meet some new people (with whom you share common interests) by searching something like meetup.com or by becoming involved in a few groups that interest you (e.g., running groups, walking groups, cycling groups). Ditto for clubs on your campus. Be discerning, authentic and patient; there are probably plenty of other nice individuals who are looking for new friends, just like you. It takes time and energy to make new (quality) friendships. It won't happen overnight, but it can be done.
FWIW ... if you don't already do so, it's advisable to turn off your smart phone and focus your attention on the other "person" and not on any display screens. Over the past 8 years, I have developed some truly close friendships by leaving my smart phone out-of-sight, and out-of-mind (and they have done the same thing with me). Some of them have become my long-term trusted friends, and we often do many things together. It's all good.
FWIW ... if you don't already do so, it's advisable to turn off your smart phone and focus your attention on the other "person" and not on any display screens. Over the past 8 years, I have developed some truly close friendships by leaving my smart phone out-of-sight, and out-of-mind (and they have done the same thing with me). Some of them have become my long-term trusted friends, and we often do many things together. It's all good.
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It sounds like you are very busy. You might consider occasionally sacrificing study time to go out with someone or some people. Maybe there is a particular person or group of people from school who you get along well with. You might be able to do something fun with them outside of school. We pre-med gunners can get pretty lonely sometimes.
