med school and family

[3aliyah]

Hi,

I'm not in medical school yet but I'm writing to this discussion group because I think you people could give more insight than those pre-meds.

Are any of you married with children? How do you manage it all? I have a little one and the only thing that scares me about medical school is not being able to balance school/marriage/family. Could someone in this situation please write and tell me you manage things?

ps- I have visions of my beautiful baby girl growing up to be the next Marilyn Manson all because I'm not around enough!

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[go GOP]

Yes, there can be life outside of med school. I am married with one daughter. I promised myself before I started that I would not neglect my family. Further, I don't feel that I have had to sacrifice academic performance to do it. Of course a couple of days before an exam, my daughter Madeleine understands that "daddy" has to study--in fact, she is very protective of my study time because she wants me to do well. My wife Jennifer is completely supportive as well.

We often go out have fun as a family. Not to mention that it gets my mind off of the stresses of school. I am finishing up my second year, getting ready for boards, and am within the top 3rd of my class. I am satisfied with my performance and experience I have acquired. The point is that if you wish, you can have a great balance between school and family, especially if it is a supportive one (as mine is).

 

[BigSkyDreams]

Howdy,

I won't lie to you:

It is hard and your family will be neglected from time to time. Med School for me isn't like undergrad where I worked two jobs, carried a full load and still could take my weekends off. But as stated in the above post, the family that works to protect the "STUDY TIMES" can also learn to take full advantage of "OFF TIMES", you as the student must make sure to protect that time as well.

 

[3aliyah]

Thank you SO much! So now I have living proof that it CAN be done but it does take work and a support system. Well I have the support I need so now I have to go for it!

Thank you again...

 

[cozmo]

Yo,

I won't lie to you, either. I am married with two children, 3 yrs and 2 yrs. They are 13 mos. apart. It is so easy to make family time. I study, but not a lot, and if my grades suffer alittle for family's sake, I don't care. It's all about priorities. Remember that you are paying a lot for an education, but also that family comes first. There have been times when family time is limited, but they are few and far between during med school. It's during residency and internship that it's tuff. You just make the most and the best of the time you have. Your kids will see and feel that from you. I'm a 4th year, and I picked my residency based on the amount of free and family time I would have, 1st, and the quality of the education 2nd. Just my preference. You, like everyone alse, will have to decide waht is right for you and your family and your education. I can't tell you what to do, I can only tell you what I've done. Hope that it helps.

 

[cozmo]

bump

 

[doctor jay]

Good question and good replies. My echos on most that was said.

I actually deferred my first year after getting accepted. My wife and I just had a little girl (she's two now)-so the time off from school gave me more time to see her blossom, more time with my wife, more time for me and a great opportunity to run a non-profit (and add a good deal of $$ to our income!)

Our plan when August comes is that at least one day out of the week (most likely sunday) is reserved for family. No studying! Thus, if I have an exam on Monday, it is up to me to be ready for it before sunday. Also, my wife is very supportive of me pursuing my medical goals and knows that my happiness in life translates directly to family happiness.

We anticipate difficulties, but those with a plan and a realistic perspective have a greater likelihood of success!

j

 

[3gina]

Cozmo,
I was wondering what residency you selected? I am attending med school this fall and I am married with a 2 year old son. Family is very important to me and I have similar values to you when it comes prioritizing family and work. I am definitely looking for a residency that will be family friendly (if there are any!!!). I would greatly appreciate any feedback you can provide.

Thanks.

 

[drchris33]

I too will be attending medical school this fall. I have four children.....two are mine and two are nieces. Their ages are 7,5,18 months, and 2 months. Due to financial reasons, they are going to stay behind for the first year. We are trying to get out of some of our debt. So I am going to miss my family like crazy. I will try to go back every weekend, but I know that is not realistic. It is going to be a very tough year.....my own two will be changing so much!!

Anyway, I just thought I would throw that in there. Good luck everyone

Chris