VA pts ARE the best!! Wish I'd spent more than 6wks there.
Coolest VA pt I had...
~50yo 'nam vet diabetic M comes in 1wk after a spider bite and it has become superinfected with community acquired MRSA.
(pt was not homeless)
Pt: I was taking a nap on my floor when this black spider bit me.
Me: Why were you taking a nap on the floor?
Pt: [looking at me like I'm an idiot...] Because I was tired.
Me: OK, fair enough. So what's up with this spider?
Pt: He was a highly trained special operations unit on a sneak commando raid.
Me: [can't stop laughing. don't know how to f/u that, so the 1st question I can even think to ask is...] Did you at least get to kill it?
Pt: [visibly upset by his own answer] No, that motherf*cker crawled under the stove before I got to him. [a sudden look of resolve...] I'm gonna find him.
The spider bite was 1wk PTA, after which the pt experienced a lot of the symptoms of a black widow spider bite, which had long-resolved by this time (and just left behind a big old abscess on his hand). I was bored and wanted to go back and shoot the $hit with that patient for a few, so I made a photo lineup of about a dozen spiders that inhabit Illinois.
Me: Alright, I've got pictures of a few spiders here I would like you to take a close look at. Have you seen any of these guys hangin' around the neighborhood, lookin' like they're up to no good...
Pt: [Going straight to the black widow picture] There he is!! That's Charley!! Oh, I'm gonna "Agent Orange" your a$$, motherf*cker! Wait 'til I get home!!
WAIT 'TIL I GET HOME!!!
He perseverated on "Charley" for the rest of his stay. Really great guy. Never did find out if he whacked Charley though.
I love the VA.