medical school and family?

[studNP]

Hi all,

has anyone gone here through having children, being older and studying at med. school and residency program?

What are your impressions?
Were spouses supportive?
How much time did you get to spend with kids during school year and during breaks?

Thanks in advance!

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[ShyRem]

There have been many threads on this topic. Several of us have been quite... vocal... in our journeys through med school with our families.

Look here. And here. And here. And here. For a start. I just did a search for my own posts since I knew I had addressed the issue. This is by no means means to be a shameless plug stating my opinions are the only ones out there.

 

[studNP]

Thank you!

I have read your posts and I am very happy for you and your family. It sounds like you are a one very hard working multitasking person. I can see that is not luck that you got in.

I spoke with my husband yesterday and I was not particularly surprised when he said: "either me or your "dream". Note, he is retired now and we are financially secure even if I did go to med. school.... Plus, we would not even have to take money away from kids' college savings. He said he wouldn't have gotten married had he known what he is in for (med. school and such).... He called me "spoiled" and "selfish" for considering med school. SO, it is not looking too good right now. I have to be realistic and understand that as a single mother of two kids of 6 and 8 while being 44 myself without having any other support (I basically have no other family than my husband and kids) I will not make it! Not with the sane children at least.

I guess, age is the least important issue for me here. If the husband backed me up, I believe I would have aced the prereqs, and MCAT and would have done OK in school.

It is very sad, but perhaps it is time to put to rest my life-long obsession.

Thanks so much again for your support and good luck to you!
Hey, what am I saying? You do not need luck: YOU are making your own luck..

 

[Law2Doc]

Thank you!

I have read your posts and I am very happy for you and your family. It sounds like you are a one very hard working multitasking person. I can see that is not luck that you got in.

I spoke with my husband yesterday and I was not particularly surprised when he said: "either me or your "dream". Note, he is retired now and we are financially secure even if I did go to med. school.... Plus, we would not even have to take money away from kids' college savings. He said he wouldn't have gotten married had he known what he is in for (med. school and such).... He called me "spoiled" and "selfish" for considering med school. SO, it is not looking too good right now. I have to be realistic and understand that as a single mother of two kids of 6 and 8 while being 44 myself without having any other support (I basically have no other family than my husband and kids) I will not make it! Not with the sane children at least.

I guess, age is the least important issue for me here. If the husband backed me up, I believe I would have aced the prereqs, and MCAT and would have done OK in school.

It is very sad, but perhaps it is time to put to rest my life-long obsession.

Thanks so much again for your support and good luck to you!
Hey, what am I saying? You do not need luck: YOU are making your own luck..

There are healthcare careers out there that involve a lot less schooling and no residency, and while you won't be a doctor, you can still have your hand in the field -- you might want to think about those given your current family situation.

 

[7starmantis]

There are healthcare careers out there that involve a lot less schooling and no residency, and while you won't be a doctor, you can still have your hand in the field -- you might want to think about those given your current family situation.

Yeah, I normally dont recommend PA career for people interested in MD/DO but this might be the perfect fit for you. Less schooling (years) and no residency (normally) and great pay, usually decent hours, still practicing medicine, etc.

 

[sindadel]

It's hard on your spouse and kids, that's for sure. I couldn't do it without my husband 100% on board - we have three small children.

I'm sorry that your husband was so upset by the idea though. And of course I don't know how the conversation unfolded, but those sound like pretty harsh ways to let you know that he doesn't see how med school would work in the context of your relationship.

Good luck!

 

[studNP]

Thank you all for the shoulder to cry on...

I am half way through a FNP program (have been an RN for a few years now)... So, not all is lost. I will proceed with the FNP and will do it with a smile. (I wish there were less "fluff" subjects in this kind of program though, that's one of the reasons nursing leaves me bitter at times...)

Anyways, good luck to you all!

And, here is some encouragement for you too! Please read: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/15/education/15medschools.html?hp

If you can't open it, just google "Expecting a Surge in U.S. Medical Schools" By ANEMONA HARTOCOLLIS Published: February 14, 2010. New York Times

 

[NerdyAndrea]

Agreed those are harsh words, and agian no matter how the conversation unfolded, an inappropriate means of communication.

I am glad you are doing the FNP. I hope he treats you much nicer most of the time. It sounds like you are very cut off from others, ie only family being husband and kids.

I hope you eventually do live your dream of med school.

A

 

[medschl hpeful]

Thank you!

I have read your posts and I am very happy for you and your family. It sounds like you are a one very hard working multitasking person. I can see that is not luck that you got in.

I spoke with my husband yesterday and I was not particularly surprised when he said: "either me or your "dream". Note, he is retired now and we are financially secure even if I did go to med. school.... Plus, we would not even have to take money away from kids' college savings. He said he wouldn't have gotten married had he known what he is in for (med. school and such).... He called me "spoiled" and "selfish" for considering med school. SO, it is not looking too good right now. I have to be realistic and understand that as a single mother of two kids of 6 and 8 while being 44 myself without having any other support (I basically have no other family than my husband and kids) I will not make it! Not with the sane children at least.

I guess, age is the least important issue for me here. If the husband backed me up, I believe I would have aced the prereqs, and MCAT and would have done OK in school.

It is very sad, but perhaps it is time to put to rest my life-long obsession.

Thanks so much again for your support and good luck to you!
Hey, what am I saying? You do not need luck: YOU are making your own luck..

I truly understand how you feel. My husband is giving me the very same grief. It includes loss of income, and time. My hubby wants a lot of my time. I have four children the eldest is out of the house.
I go back and fourth on if I am entitled to live out my dream, or if I willingly gave it up when I said I do.
I have been a mom since 19. I spent one year in college, and just dug my heels in and became a provider after finding out I was pregnant. My husband and I grew up together so we have known each other since grade school. and have been together since high school.
I had plenty of dreams before becoming a mom, but felt comfortable with not fulfilling them. Until I hit the age of 29. I had plenty of great jobs, that I just keep messing up to be quite honest, because I would sneak to study for class, or mcat. I didn't get fired, but I just was not into them.
I would follow my husband to the moon if I needed to, so I expect the same of him. I won't give up. I can't wait til May 3. My application will be going out that day, and I pray for good results.

Good- Luck, I understand what you are going through. It is hard, but I bet on the fact that if he loves me like he says he does, he'll go along for the ride. LOL