Medical School is like...

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The Knife & Gun Club

The Knife & Gun Club

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Fill in the blank with your favorite adjective or set of adjectives!

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like waiting all year for christmas, convinced its going to be the greatest day of your life, convinced you are going to wake up and get that gift you've always wanted. Of course you are going to get that PS4, you've been good all year. You studied hard, worked hard for this, all the med students sing songs of immense gratitude, satisfaction, and great work-life balance, this has to be great. You wake up on christmas day elated, bursting at the ****ing seams at the prospect of that big beautiful box wrapped under that perfect christmas tree. You sit down, trying to control yourself, already tasting the delicious flavours of bliss that this present will provide...

...and lying there, inside the box, is the biggest dildo you have ever seen. You will be ****ed by this over, and over, and over.

thats how medical school is like.
 
Fundamentals said:
like waiting all year for christmas, convinced its going to be the greatest day of your life, convinced you are going to wake up and get that gift you've always wanted. Of course you are going to get that PS4, you've been good all year. You studied hard, worked hard for this, all the med students sing songs of immense gratitude, satisfaction, and great work-life balance, this has to be great. You wake up on christmas day elated, bursting at the ****ing seams at the prospect of that big beautiful box wrapped under that perfect christmas tree. You sit down, trying to control yourself, already tasting the delicious flavours of bliss that this present will provide...

...and lying there, inside the box, is the biggest dildo you have ever seen. You will be ****ed by this over, and over, and over.

thats how medical school is like.
Click to expand...
...yeah, but at least the dildo is capable of delivering pleasure...
 
A place that scares you by showing complete *****s who barely pass classes will one day make life or death decisions in a few seconds. A place that makes you hate patents and curse the 5000% markup on most drugs and equipment. A place that let's you fit in a clock-work like team that brings people back from the edge of oblivion and that is the best feeling in the world.
 
...chronic constipation. There's always something there and you always keep pushing so you can finally get some relief. Then you finally get it over with (test, practical, etc.) and get a couple hours of relief before you feel something new sitting in your stomach, waiting until that next big push. Every so often you get a slight reprieve from the symptoms (spring break, period right after boards, etc.), only to realize that the symptoms are going to come back and you're stuck with the never-ending feeling of something you need to do that just sits in your gut until you die and some med student dissects your cadaver and sees all the crap that you put up with for your whole life only to realize they're in for the same thing you dealt with; and the cycle continues.
 
...an umbrella. MS1 it gets shoved up your butthole, MS2 the umbrella gets opened, MS3 the umbrella is pulled out, MS4 relief.

My friend told me this years ago, always stuck with me lol.
 
Spending the first two years learning all the material your professors want you to learn for, of which 0% actually helps you for the BIGGEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE which culminates after that second year. You spend 4-6 weeks preparing for this BIG DAY, the day that SOLELY DETERMINES YOUR FUTURE. Those 2 years didn't matter at all for anything. Nothing, nada, all those Honors..NO ONE CARES. That test can throw you anything: low yield, stuff not in FA or Uworld, BS, etc. You have NO IDEA WHAT YOU GOT WRONG. That score then DETERMINES YOUR LIFE.

Oh, you worked hard and honored lots first two years. Who CARES?? Oh, you have lots of publications first author. HAHA the JOKE IS ON YOU, no one cares. Oh, you have lots of national awards for your research and other things. What a pity that couldn't go to someone who has high test scores as they are more worthy of it anyway. Oh, your attendings think the world of you. Again, NO ONE CARES and honestly if you do poorly on Step 1, you are a poor test taker and the SHELFs are going to wreck you (soon they will if they haven't already).

Oh, and now its getting to that point when you have to start meeting with program directors at your school. Your self esteem is shattered and all you can think about is when they look at your STEP score and tell you game is all over. You tried, but you aren't good enough. Time to switch career paths. Johnny over here has a 250, he is going to make SUCH A BETTER SURGEON than you because of that one test. If you want to publish some papers for me to help with my tenure go ahead tho, it would be nice of you...but there's no chance we are taking someone with a crap score like you in our program or any other program. Nice, glad I tried so hard for the past years to have it blown on a garbage test.

That's been my recollection of med school so far!!!!!!
 
failedatlife said:
Spending the first two years learning all the material your professors want you to learn for, of which 0% actually helps you for the BIGGEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE which culminates after that second year. You spend 4-6 weeks preparing for this BIG DAY, the day that SOLELY DETERMINES YOUR FUTURE. Those 2 years didn't matter at all for anything. Nothing, nada, all those Honors..NO ONE CARES. That test can throw you anything: low yield, stuff not in FA or Uworld, BS, etc. You have NO IDEA WHAT YOU GOT WRONG. That score then DETERMINES YOUR LIFE.

Oh, you worked hard and honored lots first two years. Who CARES?? Oh, you have lots of publications first author. HAHA the JOKE IS ON YOU, no one cares. Oh, you have lots of national awards for your research and other things. What a pity that couldn't go to someone who has high test scores as they are more worthy of it anyway. Oh, your attendings think the world of you. Again, NO ONE CARES and honestly if you do poorly on Step 1, you are a poor test taker and the SHELFs are going to wreck you (soon they will if they haven't already).

Oh, and now its getting to that point when you have to start meeting with program directors at your school. Your self esteem is shattered and all you can think about is when they look at your STEP score and tell you game is all over. You tried, but you aren't good enough. Time to switch career paths. Johnny over here has a 250, he is going to make SUCH A BETTER SURGEON than you because of that one test. If you want to publish some papers for me to help with my tenure go ahead tho, it would be nice of you...but there's no chance we are taking someone with a crap score like you in our program or any other program. Nice, glad I tried so hard for the past years to have it blown on a garbage test.

That's been my recollection of med school so far!!!!!!
Click to expand...
Go home, you're drunk
 
failedatlife said:
Spending the first two years learning all the material your professors want you to learn for, of which 0% actually helps you for the BIGGEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE which culminates after that second year. You spend 4-6 weeks preparing for this BIG DAY, the day that SOLELY DETERMINES YOUR FUTURE. Those 2 years didn't matter at all for anything. Nothing, nada, all those Honors..NO ONE CARES. That test can throw you anything: low yield, stuff not in FA or Uworld, BS, etc. You have NO IDEA WHAT YOU GOT WRONG. That score then DETERMINES YOUR LIFE.

Oh, you worked hard and honored lots first two years. Who CARES?? Oh, you have lots of publications first author. HAHA the JOKE IS ON YOU, no one cares. Oh, you have lots of national awards for your research and other things. What a pity that couldn't go to someone who has high test scores as they are more worthy of it anyway. Oh, your attendings think the world of you. Again, NO ONE CARES and honestly if you do poorly on Step 1, you are a poor test taker and the SHELFs are going to wreck you (soon they will if they haven't already).

Oh, and now its getting to that point when you have to start meeting with program directors at your school. Your self esteem is shattered and all you can think about is when they look at your STEP score and tell you game is all over. You tried, but you aren't good enough. Time to switch career paths. Johnny over here has a 250, he is going to make SUCH A BETTER SURGEON than you because of that one test. If you want to publish some papers for me to help with my tenure go ahead tho, it would be nice of you...but there's no chance we are taking someone with a crap score like you in our program or any other program. Nice, glad I tried so hard for the past years to have it blown on a garbage test.

That's been my recollection of med school so far!!!!!!
Click to expand...

It may be time to put this one trick pony out to pasture...
 
failedatlife said:
Spending the first two years learning all the material your professors want you to learn for, of which 0% actually helps you for the BIGGEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE which culminates after that second year. You spend 4-6 weeks preparing for this BIG DAY, the day that SOLELY DETERMINES YOUR FUTURE. Those 2 years didn't matter at all for anything. Nothing, nada, all those Honors..NO ONE CARES. That test can throw you anything: low yield, stuff not in FA or Uworld, BS, etc. You have NO IDEA WHAT YOU GOT WRONG. That score then DETERMINES YOUR LIFE.

Oh, you worked hard and honored lots first two years. Who CARES?? Oh, you have lots of publications first author. HAHA the JOKE IS ON YOU, no one cares. Oh, you have lots of national awards for your research and other things. What a pity that couldn't go to someone who has high test scores as they are more worthy of it anyway. Oh, your attendings think the world of you. Again, NO ONE CARES and honestly if you do poorly on Step 1, you are a poor test taker and the SHELFs are going to wreck you (soon they will if they haven't already).

Oh, and now its getting to that point when you have to start meeting with program directors at your school. Your self esteem is shattered and all you can think about is when they look at your STEP score and tell you game is all over. You tried, but you aren't good enough. Time to switch career paths. Johnny over here has a 250, he is going to make SUCH A BETTER SURGEON than you because of that one test. If you want to publish some papers for me to help with my tenure go ahead tho, it would be nice of you...but there's no chance we are taking someone with a crap score like you in our program or any other program. Nice, glad I tried so hard for the past years to have it blown on a garbage test.

That's been my recollection of med school so far!!!!!!
Click to expand...
200w.gif
 
failedatlife said:
Spending the first two years learning all the material your professors want you to learn for, of which 0% actually helps you for the BIGGEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE which culminates after that second year. You spend 4-6 weeks preparing for this BIG DAY, the day that SOLELY DETERMINES YOUR FUTURE. Those 2 years didn't matter at all for anything. Nothing, nada, all those Honors..NO ONE CARES. That test can throw you anything: low yield, stuff not in FA or Uworld, BS, etc. You have NO IDEA WHAT YOU GOT WRONG. That score then DETERMINES YOUR LIFE.

Oh, you worked hard and honored lots first two years. Who CARES?? Oh, you have lots of publications first author. HAHA the JOKE IS ON YOU, no one cares. Oh, you have lots of national awards for your research and other things. What a pity that couldn't go to someone who has high test scores as they are more worthy of it anyway. Oh, your attendings think the world of you. Again, NO ONE CARES and honestly if you do poorly on Step 1, you are a poor test taker and the SHELFs are going to wreck you (soon they will if they haven't already).

Oh, and now its getting to that point when you have to start meeting with program directors at your school. Your self esteem is shattered and all you can think about is when they look at your STEP score and tell you game is all over. You tried, but you aren't good enough. Time to switch career paths. Johnny over here has a 250, he is going to make SUCH A BETTER SURGEON than you because of that one test. If you want to publish some papers for me to help with my tenure go ahead tho, it would be nice of you...but there's no chance we are taking someone with a crap score like you in our program or any other program. Nice, glad I tried so hard for the past years to have it blown on a garbage test.

That's been my recollection of med school so far!!!!!!
Click to expand...
Oh yeah. You're the guy that thinks a 222 on step 1 is a fail.
 
failedatlife said:
Spending the first two years learning all the material your professors want you to learn for, of which 0% actually helps you for the BIGGEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE which culminates after that second year. You spend 4-6 weeks preparing for this BIG DAY, the day that SOLELY DETERMINES YOUR FUTURE. Those 2 years didn't matter at all for anything. Nothing, nada, all those Honors..NO ONE CARES. That test can throw you anything: low yield, stuff not in FA or Uworld, BS, etc. You have NO IDEA WHAT YOU GOT WRONG. That score then DETERMINES YOUR LIFE.

Oh, you worked hard and honored lots first two years. Who CARES?? Oh, you have lots of publications first author. HAHA the JOKE IS ON YOU, no one cares. Oh, you have lots of national awards for your research and other things. What a pity that couldn't go to someone who has high test scores as they are more worthy of it anyway. Oh, your attendings think the world of you. Again, NO ONE CARES and honestly if you do poorly on Step 1, you are a poor test taker and the SHELFs are going to wreck you (soon they will if they haven't already).

Oh, and now its getting to that point when you have to start meeting with program directors at your school. Your self esteem is shattered and all you can think about is when they look at your STEP score and tell you game is all over. You tried, but you aren't good enough. Time to switch career paths. Johnny over here has a 250, he is going to make SUCH A BETTER SURGEON than you because of that one test. If you want to publish some papers for me to help with my tenure go ahead tho, it would be nice of you...but there's no chance we are taking someone with a crap score like you in our program or any other program. Nice, glad I tried so hard for the past years to have it blown on a garbage test.

That's been my recollection of med school so far!!!!!!
Click to expand...
1461149498867

Classmates who feel they're owed a specialty and get all butthurt when they can't hack it instead of realigning their expectations with reality.

Medical school should be a great teacher of humility for many, but some just don't get the lesson.
 
Anicetus said:
I'm sorry to hear that.
Click to expand...
Haha, I'm not. This is great - class is done by noon most days, and half of it involves hashing through interesting topics with my friends. Doctors are coming and asking US to go shadow them, and when you do they're super excited to show you their specialty. Pass/fail. All of my friends have the same schedule as me so we're free to hang/study a lot, and they like talking med stuff with me, which is refreshing. I've got more of a social life now than I did in college, and I sleep better. What's not to like?
 
Mad Jack said:
Classmates who feel they're owed a specialty and get all butthurt when they can't hack it instead of realigning their expectations with reality.

Medical school should be a great teacher of humility for many, but some just don't get the lesson.
Click to expand...

I think people forget how ridiculous they sound when they complain about being "stuck" in FM; as if anybody is going to pity someone that gets to work ~50 hours a week for $180k.
 
Azete said:
I think people forget how ridiculous they sound when they complain about being "stuck" in FM; as if anybody is going to pity someone that gets to work ~50 hours a week for $180k.
Click to expand...
They're offering 220-250k around here, with some offers upward of 300k. Hardly pocket change for being in FM nowadays. Not that he'd even have to go that far- a 222 as a US MD is good enough for all but a few specialties.
 
mehc012 said:
Haha, I'm not. This is great - class is done by noon most days, and half of it involves hashing through interesting topics with my friends. Doctors are coming and asking US to go shadow them, and when you do they're super excited to show you their specialty. Pass/fail. All of my friends have the same schedule as me so we're free to hang/study a lot, and they like talking med stuff with me, which is refreshing. I've got more of a social life now than I did in college, and I sleep better. What's not to like?
Click to expand...
Let me guess-- you're a first year? 😀

Haha, glad you've enjoyed the transition. I would be wary about generalizing your initial experiences to the whole of med school, however. Good luck 👍
 
mehc012 said:
Haha, I'm not. This is great - class is done by noon most days, and half of it involves hashing through interesting topics with my friends. Doctors are coming and asking US to go shadow them, and when you do they're super excited to show you their specialty. Pass/fail. All of my friends have the same schedule as me so we're free to hang/study a lot, and they like talking med stuff with me, which is refreshing. I've got more of a social life now than I did in college, and I sleep better. What's not to like?
Click to expand...
Class from 8-12 would make me like med school a lot more as well. This 8-5 schedule 3 days a week and then hours of studying isn't much fun
 
Mr. Beefy Lion said:
Class from 8-12 would make me like med school a lot more as well. This 8-5 schedule 3 days a week and then hours of studying isn't much fun
Click to expand...
I would hate that too. Mandatory attendance is for suckers.

Med school is like the worst job ever with mandatory attendance. It's like a vacation during which you've got to study a whole lot without it.
 
mehc012 said:
Medical school is literally the best time I've had in my life so far.
Click to expand...
mehc012 said:
Haha, I'm not. This is great - class is done by noon most days, and half of it involves hashing through interesting topics with my friends. Doctors are coming and asking US to go shadow them, and when you do they're super excited to show you their specialty. Pass/fail. All of my friends have the same schedule as me so we're free to hang/study a lot, and they like talking med stuff with me, which is refreshing. I've got more of a social life now than I did in college, and I sleep better. What's not to like?
Click to expand...
Wow, what school do you go to?? 🙂
 
Mad Jack said:
I would hate that too. Mandatory attendance is for suckers.

Med school is like the worst job ever with mandatory attendance. It's like a vacation during which you've got to study a whole lot without it.
Click to expand...
I'm assuming (hope I'm right) it will get better after anatomy. Going to lab is brutal. If I could just stream biochem/genetics lectures from home and not have to worry about a lab component med school wouldn't seem so bad
 
I'm slowly getting burned out with this 9AM-5PM bs while having to study another 4-6 hrs after class. The pain won't stop. The only reassuring thing is that I know that my classmates are feeling the same pain. It's the only thing keeping me going right now.
 
68PGunner said:
I'm slowly getting burned out with this 9AM-5PM bs while having to study another 4-6 hrs after class. The pain won't stop. The only reassuring thing is that I know that my classmates are feeling the same pain. It's the only thing keeping me going right now.
Click to expand...

Get ear buds and study in class, you'll magically find yourself with free time.
 
ConfusedChemist said:
You're doing it wrong. Preclerkship is a wonderful time if you manage your time well. And go to a P/F school...
Click to expand...

If I'm not having a wonderful then I'm doing it wrong?

That does it. I'm done SDN. Peace out.
 
ConfusedChemist said:
You're doing it wrong. Preclerkship is a wonderful time if you manage your time well. And go to a P/F school...
Click to expand...
+pissed+Thank you for this great knowledge :angelic::angelic::angelic::angelic:

haha where do they get these Med student slurpers? no sense of humor at all

In the future I'd avoid the humblebrag (that you're doing it right) :nono:
 
Mad Jack said:
I would hate that too. Mandatory attendance is for suckers.

Med school is like the worst job ever with mandatory attendance. It's like a vacation during which you've got to study a whole lot without it.
Click to expand...

I basically feel like I was homeschooled for the first two years. It does make the transition to clerkships and being entirely at someobe else's beck and call even more jarring, though.
 
failedatlife said:
Spending the first two years learning all the material your professors want you to learn for, of which 0% actually helps you for the BIGGEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE which culminates after that second year. You spend 4-6 weeks preparing for this BIG DAY, the day that SOLELY DETERMINES YOUR FUTURE. Those 2 years didn't matter at all for anything. Nothing, nada, all those Honors..NO ONE CARES. That test can throw you anything: low yield, stuff not in FA or Uworld, BS, etc. You have NO IDEA WHAT YOU GOT WRONG. That score then DETERMINES YOUR LIFE.

Oh, you worked hard and honored lots first two years. Who CARES?? Oh, you have lots of publications first author. HAHA the JOKE IS ON YOU, no one cares. Oh, you have lots of national awards for your research and other things. What a pity that couldn't go to someone who has high test scores as they are more worthy of it anyway. Oh, your attendings think the world of you. Again, NO ONE CARES and honestly if you do poorly on Step 1, you are a poor test taker and the SHELFs are going to wreck you (soon they will if they haven't already).

Oh, and now its getting to that point when you have to start meeting with program directors at your school. Your self esteem is shattered and all you can think about is when they look at your STEP score and tell you game is all over. You tried, but you aren't good enough. Time to switch career paths. Johnny over here has a 250, he is going to make SUCH A BETTER SURGEON than you because of that one test. If you want to publish some papers for me to help with my tenure go ahead tho, it would be nice of you...but there's no chance we are taking someone with a crap score like you in our program or any other program. Nice, glad I tried so hard for the past years to have it blown on a garbage test.

That's been my recollection of med school so far!!!!!!
Click to expand...

Im glad that the boards count more than anything else. Thats the way it should be, a meritocracy. It's bad enough that the current system makes premeds check a bunch of extraneous boxes, like """"research""""", which is actually just washing glassware like a lab monkey 90% of the time...or volunteering that they would have never done if they werent applying to med school...its laughable. No other country cares about this extraneous crap when deciding who gets to study medicine. I love standardized tests. Its an objective way to cut through all the bull**** "filler" stuff and expose what people are truly made of. Dont blame the system just because it didnt work in your favor. You had the opportunity to work harder in your board prep. Instead of taking on tons of research projects and being hellbent on racking up publications, maybe you should have been memorizing First Aid.
 
Foot Fetish said:
Im glad that the boards count more than anything else. Thats the way it should be, a meritocracy. It's bad enough that the current system makes premeds check a bunch of extraneous boxes, like """"research""""", which is actually just washing glassware like a lab monkey 90% of the time...or volunteering that they would have never done if they werent applying to med school...its laughable. No other country cares about this extraneous crap when deciding who gets to study medicine.
Click to expand...

Please speak for yourself. I "checked" these "extraneous boxes" before I even wanted to go to medical school. I volunteered because it was rewarding to help others as a part of my community and I became a Research Assistant because I wanted to expand my knowledge outside of a classroom setting. Life as a physician, or in general, isn't just about standardized tests... It's about being a compassionate, well-rounded person.
 
Anxious Affect said:
Please speak for yourself. I "checked" these "extraneous boxes" before I even wanted to go to medical school. I volunteered because it was rewarding to help others as a part of my community and I became a Research Assistant because I wanted to expand my knowledge outside of a classroom setting. Life as a physician, or in general, isn't just about standardized tests... It's about being a compassionate, well-rounded person.
Click to expand...

Once/If you get into med school, you realize that there is a huge commodity on your time. You can no longer strap yourself down to several activities while scoring well in class. One of our deans told our class to cool it with volunteering early last year when I started as an MS1 and to only add on once we were able to keep our heads above water, which is great advice.

I'm all for wanting a compassionate physician, but I'll be damned if my physician isn't also competent and knows his/her stuff inside and out. One piece of advice I got early on from a mentor is that future patients won't care where and how long we volunteered as premeds or even as medical students. The best thing that a medical student can do for his/her future patients is learn the material in med school well and get through it all with one's sanity intact. The stress of the boards sucks but most people get through it fine as long as they've been learning material well throughout their preclinical years. As has been mentioned on this thread, even those scoring below average will/should be capable to become a FM doc that makes 250k and works no more than 60hrs/wk--not exactly pity worthy.

But, for now, stay in the premed mindset of jumping through all these hoops and finishing the rat race. Once med school starts, the game changes. Your goals should be: 1) learn as much as you can, 1a) stay sane, 1b) crush boards, 1c) be respectful to any person you ever come in contact with, 2)research, 3) & volunteer if it's truly something you're passionate about.
 
Anxious Affect said:
Please speak for yourself. I "checked" these "extraneous boxes" before I even wanted to go to medical school. I volunteered because it was rewarding to help others as a part of my community and I became a Research Assistant because I wanted to expand my knowledge outside of a classroom setting. Life as a physician, or in general, isn't just about standardized tests... It's about being a compassionate, well-rounded person.
Click to expand...

Give it up, man. The adcoms aren't reading your SDN posts lol
 
Foot Fetish said:
Give it up, man. The adcoms aren't reading your SDN posts lol
Click to expand...

I'm serious. And I sure wouldn't want my physician to be someone who had to "check boxes" to get into medical school and didn't actually want any part in community service... Many physicians I work with continue to give back to their community, and one of them even established the street medicine program with whom I volunteer. I know it must be absolutely astonishing to you that some people care about more than their board scores and salary.
 
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