Meeting someone

[Iridescent]

I'm just curious, is dating feasible in medical school? How likely am I to meet a significant other?

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[Jbirdski]

1) I'm sure it's feasible. Going out and telling people you are in med school is probably going to attract a certain type of person looking for love or ambitious partner. You will have a life other than studying in med school, at least you should, in my opinion.

2) Likely, if that's what you want in life. Lots of people in med school, all with similar life goals and an understanding of the difficult path. It's a good combo to find a new spouse, significant other or FWB. Now get out there, be social and bring your A game!

 

[j4pac]

Once you are a doctor...things change. You will see that things even change in med school. I would find a significant other before the prestige and relative wealth. Residency is harder than med school. Make time for it.

 

[Major]

Once you are a doctor...things change. You will see that things even change in med school. I would find a significant other before the prestige and relative wealth. Residency is harder than med school. Make time for it.

Could you elaborate? Or have any stories to share?

 

[j4pac]

Could you elaborate? Or have any stories to share?

I had three random girls try to date me from out of town through facebook in medical school. In internship, tons of nurses flirting with me. I never had random girls ACTIVELY searching for me in undergrad.

Generally...your confidence increases the further you go along in training...and your prestige increases as well. It's a recipe for attractiveness. There is nothing wrong with girls going after doctors...but it becomes more difficult to sort out the underlying intentions of those interested in you. You really want someone attracted to you for reasons other than your profession. The allure of being a med student or docs girl wears off. Find someone who loves you for you.

I'm married to my undergrad best friend...she cared about me before I became a physician...and the day I give up doctoring to teach or do something else with my life (if that day comes)...she won't bail on me.

 

[IncuriousGeorge]

That's what YOU think.... JK!!

I feel the same way.

 

[Goro]

At least 10 students within any given Class of mine get married to each other with the time they're in med school.

I'm just curious, is dating feasible in medical school? How likely am I to meet a significant other?

 

[cliquesh]

I'm just curious, is dating feasible in medical school? How likely am I to meet a significant other?

I met my wife in school.

 

[medickdb]

I met my wife a few months before I even applied to medical school. She's a doctor already. Still don't know how I managed that. Life works in mysterious ways.

 

[67552931811]

I met my wife a few months before I even applied to medical school. She's a doctor already. Still don't know how I managed that. Life works in mysterious ways.

 

[Tirian]

My wife is sending me to med school.

I didn't realize that I was a fixer-upper until now.

 

[Dr Tony T. Chopper]

I met my wife a few months before I even applied to medical school. She's a doctor already. Still don't know how I managed that. Life works in mysterious ways.

Please teach me your ways, master.

 

[becomingdoctor]

I remember a needy guy posted here(maybe in resident forum) a while ago about his struggle of dating an intern. Life gets busier and busier as one goes through the training process. Dating the right person who understands the commitment in this profession should not be difficult to manage.

 

[Seth Joo]

I'm just curious, is dating feasible in medical school? How likely am I to meet a significant other?

Yes it is, definitely feasible. But you have to manage your time a lot better in medical school because you have a lot less free time.

 

[Stlblues17]

.

 

[cabinbuilder]

About 15 couples from my med school class got married. Hard to find someone after the fact who isn't out for your wallet.

 

[NobleGas14]

About 15 couples from my med school class got married. Hard to find someone after the fact who isn't out for your wallet.

15 couples formed within your class? Or..?

Good point, though.

 

[cabinbuilder]

15 couples formed within your class? Or..?

Good point, though.

Some started as couples. Most formed during the 4 years of med school.

 

[Iridescent]

I feel like I would like to meet someone in med school. Going through the same experiences and pressures will allow people to connect and understand one another better.

As for the money argument, money is an attractive factor to every girl. If it helps sway attraction towards your favor, I don't see how that can be a negative; as long as an
emotional and physical connection exist.

 

[asdf123g]

.

 

[Iridescent]

I find meeting girls at Starbucks or local coffee shops to work better for me.

 

[BorntobeDO?]

Love it man! As far as dating someone while in Med school, my best friend started dating his *now* wife when he first started rotations in his 3rd year. She was a nutritionist in a hospital he was at. Shes in PA school now while hes finishing up his residency. I think it worked out pretty well.

General discernment is required of all commitments like marriage, just take the time to actually get to know your significant other and you will be fine, whether they are another med student or not. I feel like Med students get these blinders on sometimes when it comes to dating like "I must only date other equally potentially rich members of the opposite sex cause everyone else is da gold diggars!!!" Everyone else is not always a gold digger, and a super achieving spouse may or may not be a good fit for you. Try to find that balance. And with that I am out on this topic.

 

[oOKawaiiOo]

I find meeting girls at Starbucks or local coffee shops to work better for me.

Barista: (Yells) I have a White chocolate mocha grande for "Future Doctor".
Girls: Look at you



ahhhhh...... I see what you did there

 

[justin1390]

There are like a solid 15 couples that formed during the first year of medical school. Almost all are still together and have intentions of long term commitment. I think that's awesome. I agree with people in general that you have to be super careful outside of the medical spectrum. Not because I'm an elitist, but simply that there are some poor intentions and a future doctor title has a nice financial ring to it. I married my high school sweetheart. We dated for 7 years, and she was going to marry me even when I was going to be a nerdy wildlife biologist making $30k a year. I appreciate that devotion. If it were me and I was in your situation (I have no idea how you guys make dating happen in medical school), I'd either stick to those in med school/nursing/etc, or get to know a solid social circle out of med school and do the "get to knowing" first and "here's what I do" later. You can always say you are in grad school studying health sciences for the first few dates and gauge how it goes.

 

[gannicus89]

At least 10 students within any given Class of mine get married to each other with the time they're in med school.

Inbreeding. The horror.

 

[ChrisMack390]

1. Download Tinder.

2. Take a pic of yourself in a white coat.

3. You know what 3 is.

 

[j4pac]

1. Download Tinder.

2. Take a pic of yourself in a white coat.

3. You know what 3 is.

So so so so true. But guys...use your power wisely. You will attract 9 crazies for the 1 datable girl.

 

[MiaMia14]

We had a lot of "first year med school couples" get married just after we graduated. The rest of us tended to use online dating. Me and my boyfriend are now talking about marriage. It can happen, they just have to be ok and understand the demands of the profession. It works better when the other person also has a career they are working on and who is independent enough to not get upset when you have to work/study late.

 

[lyana]

I feel like dating must be extremely hard in medical school, because you simply do not have time for that. That's why I snatched an amazing guy and made him marry me before I start med school, so he does not run away when I am there.

 

[Seth Joo]

Dating in medical school is a tricky subject, students do date each other but that being said I think its more out of convenience than out of genuine interest in that other person. We spend a lot of time together and we have little time to interact with people outside of the medical circle, I managed to find someone outside of school, but I think I was just lucky. I find it better to be with someone not in school for a number of reasons.

When I was working, I would not date people I worked with at the office, even though I was asked out several times, it just made me uncomfortable to get personal with a co-worker. I prefer to keep my personal and professional life separate.

 

[asdf123g]

Dating in medical school is a tricky subject, students do date each other but that being said I think its more out of convenience than out of genuine interest in that other person. We spend a lot of time together and we have little time to interact with people outside of the medical circle, I managed to find someone outside of school, but I think I was just lucky. I find it better to be with someone not in school for a number of reasons.

When I was working, I would not date people I worked with at the office, even though I was asked out several times, it just made me uncomfortable to get personal with a co-worker. I prefer to keep my personal and professional life separate.

very good points. How bad are medschool breakups? At my undergrad the class sizes were fairly small (relatively speaking compared to other colleges; lke ~1.5 k per class), yet the gossip and misinformation about the breakups and people would spread like wildfire! It felt like a class size of 500. There was gossip between classes as well that happend pretty regularly too which was crazy. Im hoping medschool students arent like this

 

[deleted407021]

I've met a wonderful girl this year and it's getting rather serious. We're already talking about what we might do should we have to separate for school (she's pre-PT). Has anyone here had experiences with keeping relationships going sort of long-distance during professional school?

 

[FutureDrB]

 

[j4pac]

very good points. How bad are medschool breakups? At my undergrad the class sizes were fairly small (relatively speaking compared to other colleges; lke ~1.5 k per class), yet the gossip and misinformation about the breakups and people would spread like wildfire! It felt like a class size of 500. There was gossip between classes as well that happend pretty regularly too which was crazy. Im hoping medschool students arent like this

Medical school is much like high school...only the nerds are cool and the women are more attractive. Yes...gossip exists in med school.

 

[Stephanopolous]

Definitely possible and likely you will find someone. The risk is that you have a bad relationship which could put further stress on your plate. I will enter into this with a boyfriend of three years. He has already adjusted to me working 24 -36 hour medic shifts which I'm guessing is good prep for the time I'll be away due to school/residency

 

[DetectiveAlonzo]

Marriage and all dat is coo.. but that divorce rate doe.

 

[asdf123g]

Medical school is much like high school...only the nerds are cool and the women are more attractive. Yes...gossip exists in med school.

If I get into medschool I guess Ill be a loser then

 

[oOKawaiiOo]

I've met a wonderful girl this year and it's getting rather serious. We're already talking about what we might do should we have to separate for school (she's pre-PT). Has anyone here had experiences with keeping relationships going sort of long-distance during professional school?

Long distance doesnt work unless you have a SOLID foundation and strong history.

If I get into medschool I guess Ill be a loser then

Pfft. Im a loser now, and I'm not even in med school! There are plenty of thristy dudes; you won't be a loser.

 

[QueenJames]

Long distance is a very tricky and very stressful situation. My ex was with me for 5 years when we were together... before she just called it quits with me my senior year because she "couldn't handle the stress" and whatnot being across the country and all that. We did mention marriage and everything, with her parents' approval of course.

Come to find out that she is actually getting married with a guy she met at her program..
Pretty Fishy...

But I now know and have closure that I did not do anything wrong to her and loved her with all my heart.. never took advantage of her.. never pressured her into anything (no premarital sex, no fooling around, etc.) and I just chalk it up to experience.

Don't mean to be all dramatic as I am very happy and secure with myself now... but OP just be careful. Relationships are huge emotional and mental investments. Love can make you do very foolish things. Very risky. If it is meant to be, it will be. Until then, focus on yourself and somebody will eventually make their way to you.

Just be YOU. Do what makes you happy and you'll be much more stress-free. All that matters is how you perceive yourself and whether you are happy with your life.

 

[asdf123g]

Long distance is a very tricky and very stressful situation. My ex was with me for 5 years when we were together... before she just called it quits with me my senior year because she "couldn't handle the stress" and whatnot being across the country and all that. We did mention marriage and everything, with her parents' approval of course.

Come to find out that she is actually getting married with a guy she met at her program..
Pretty Fishy...

But I now know and have closure that I did not do anything wrong to her and loved her with all my heart.. never took advantage of her.. never pressured her into anything (no premarital sex, no fooling around, etc.) and I just chalk it up to experience.

you abstained for 5 years?

 

[QueenJames]

you abstained for 5 years?

Yessir. Well technically, I've abstained for much longer than that... lol
I still haven't lost my virginity and am waiting for after marriage (if that ever comes).

 

[asdf123g]

Yessir. Well technically, I've abstained for much longer than that... lol
I still haven't lost my virginity and am waiting for after marriage (if that ever comes).

wow, you are quite the guy! I guess I can say now there are people like you who exist.

 

[Iridescent]

Long distance is a very tricky and very stressful situation. My ex was with me for 5 years when we were together... before she just called it quits with me my senior year because she "couldn't handle the stress" and whatnot being across the country and all that. We did mention marriage and everything, with her parents' approval of course.

Come to find out that she is actually getting married with a guy she met at her program..
Pretty Fishy...

But I now know and have closure that I did not do anything wrong to her and loved her with all my heart.. never took advantage of her.. never pressured her into anything (no premarital sex, no fooling around, etc.) and I just chalk it up to experience.

Don't mean to be all dramatic as I am very happy and secure with myself now... but OP just be careful. Relationships are huge emotional and mental investments. Love can make you do very foolish things. Very risky. If it is meant to be, it will be. Until then, focus on yourself and somebody will eventually make their way to you.

Just be YOU. Do what makes you happy and you'll be much more stress-free. All that matters is how you perceive yourself and whether you are happy with your life.

I'm glad you're doing better. That is one of my worries. Breakups suck and it doesn't get easier with the amount of work I'll have to do, come August. Guess I'll just have to wait and see. Hopefully it works out for the best. I'm glad I'm going to a ~200 class med school. Gives me a few more options. Outside circles will be hard to maintain due to the nature of med school.

I also think living in dorms might make it a little easier to make connections. But we'll see what happens.

 

[Medschoolornah]

I had three random girls try to date me from out of town through facebook in medical school. In internship, tons of nurses flirting with me. I never had random girls ACTIVELY searching for me in undergrad.

Generally...your confidence increases the further you go along in training...and your prestige increases as well. It's a recipe for attractiveness. There is nothing wrong with girls going after doctors...but it becomes more difficult to sort out the underlying intentions of those interested in you. You really want someone attracted to you for reasons other than your profession. The allure of being a med student or docs girl wears off. Find someone who loves you for you.

I'm married to my undergrad best friend...she cared about me before I became a physician...and the day I give up doctoring to teach or do something else with my life (if that day comes)...she won't bail on me.

ohhh goooddd for youuu

 

[j4pac]

ohhh goooddd for youuu

 

[Seth Joo]

I disagree, I think its better to date outside of medical school. My girlfriend has a normal job and she is indifferent to me becoming a physician. I think dating in medical school is like bringing your work home with you, there are just so many issues and things that can go wrong.

Also the idea that people will date you just because you are a future "Doctor" with earning potential makes no sense. You are a indebted student with limited financial resources which is actually going to make people turn away from you as liability. You actually become marketable for your earning ability once you actually are a physician and are earning a living.

 

[j4pac]

I disagree, I think its better to date outside of medical school. My girlfriend has a normal job and she is indifferent to me becoming a physician. I think dating in medical school is like bringing your work home with you, there are just so many issues and things that can go wrong.

Also the idea that people will date you just because you are a future "Doctor" with earning potential makes no sense. You are a indebted student with limited financial resources which is actually going to make people turn away from you as liability. You actually become marketable for your earning ability once you actually are a physician and are earning a living.

This statement is absolutely untrue. I use to believe that people married for love. Not that simple. Security in this world is a significant driving force for our decision making. I'm willing to bet is a huge reason why people also go to med school.

 

[asdf123g]

I disagree, I think its better to date outside of medical school. My girlfriend has a normal job and she is indifferent to me becoming a physician. I think dating in medical school is like bringing your work home with you, there are just so many issues and things that can go wrong.

Also the idea that people will date you just because you are a future "Doctor" with earning potential makes no sense. You are a indebted student with limited financial resources which is actually going to make people turn away from you as liability. You actually become marketable for your earning ability once you actually are a physician and are earning a living.

I agree with the first part.
Agree and disagree with the second part. I agree in the sense that people dont really understand what it takes to be a doctor and Im mainly referencing the TIME committment. Ive dated people and explained to them beforehand the time committments I had and they said/pretended/thought they understood what htey were getting into but they really didn't and it doesnt end well. I disagree because people are always attracted to people over power/money/etc. There are celebrities/singers/senior citizens who arent all that attractive physically yet they're covered in women. Then again, im sure some of these young women in their 20's dating these 75 year old sugar daddies truly are in love

 

[Seth Joo]

I agree with the first part.
Agree and disagree with the second part. I agree in the sense that people dont really understand what it takes to be a doctor and Im mainly referencing the TIME committment. Ive dated people and explained to them beforehand the time committments I had and they said/pretended/thought they understood what htey were getting into but they really didn't and it doesnt end well. I disagree because people are always attracted to people over power/money/etc. There are celebrities/singers/senior citizens who arent all that attractive physically yet they're covered in women. Then again, im sure some of these young women in their 20's dating these 75 year old sugar daddies truly are in love

When you are a student you have no money and no power, you are a student training to become something. Once you are an actual doctor then you are earning money. I prefer not bringing my work home with me after a long day, that is why I would never get involved in a personal romantic relationship with a fellow student.

My girlfriend is not in the medical profession but we have a wonderful level of understanding, she knows its a big commitment and a lot of work, as far as earnings, when I become an attending, she will probably be a Vice President at her company and will earn as much and most likely more than I will earn. She is not dating me because I will make a lot of money in the future. She already makes a near six figure income, I feel lucky that despite the fact she is well into her career, she has the patience to understand my situation.

 

[NonTrad16]

When you are a student you have no money and no power, you are a student training to become something. Once you are an actual doctor then you are earning money. I prefer not bringing my work home with me after a long day, that is why I would never get involved in a personal romantic relationship with a fellow student.

My girlfriend is not in the medical profession but we have a wonderful level of understanding, she knows its a big commitment and a lot of work, as far as earnings, when I become an attending, she will probably be a Vice President at her company and will earn as much and most likely more than I will earn. She is not dating me because I will make a lot of money in the future. She already makes a near six figure income, I feel lucky that despite the fact she is well into her career, she has the patience to understand my situation.

That may be true for you and your SO. But the majority of people do not make 100k as a couple, let alone an individual. The draw of becoming a physician is impressive to the general public. (Perhaps it's just more tangible than "I'm going to become a VP of a midsize company someday!")

People see the end, not the middle. The people I work with are already jesting about discounted exams and prescriptions, my SOs parents had no idea the cost/admissions requirements (both financial folks in a big city), and my parent MD had no idea what typical tuition was. Even very smart people close to me haven't the slightest idea the raw dollar cost (or time), but are already talking about the big house I'll have. (As much as I say "pump the breaks! I haven't even applied...")

Is it really hard to imagine people you meet around town will have little understanding of the financial baggage, time requirements, etc?

OP: the only folks I known in med school (more than 1, less than 10) didn't end with another med student. They came out single or hooked to someone outside medicine. Personally, it seems better to not mix the two. Depending on where you end up, there may be lots of other ambitious individuals invested in their future who are more understanding.