Mention boyfriend in secondary?

[byaaaaaaah23]

For a secondary question asking how you cope with tough situations, it is inappropriate to mention seeking advice from trusted people such as my boyfriend? I want to be honest but I also want to avoid any stigma against female applicants being in relationships and potentially needing to take time away from a medical career to have kids (if this bias is even that pervasive).

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[MedPR]

I would imagine this question is an opportunity to highlight your ability to be self reliant and make tough decisions on your own. Just my opinion though.

 

[H Y F R]

Boyfriend? Really?

 

[sector9]

Maybe say something like "family and close friends" or something generic

 

[Oxygen206]

For a secondary question asking how you cope with tough situations, it is inappropriate to mention seeking advice from trusted people such as my boyfriend? I want to be honest but I also want to avoid any stigma against female applicants being in relationships and potentially needing to take time away from a medical career to have kids (if this bias is even that pervasive).

I would vote no on this. I don't think there is any way of framing this that wouldn't come off as immature. Family or a husband would be a different story.

 

[Fivo]

For a secondary question asking how you cope with tough situations, it is inappropriate to mention seeking advice from trusted people such as my boyfriend? I want to be honest but I also want to avoid any stigma against female applicants being in relationships and potentially needing to take time away from a medical career to have kids (if this bias is even that pervasive).

Wow, didn't expect the last part of your post. You're stretching it. You really think adcoms expect all women to remain celibate throughout college or what? Having a boyfriend is a natural part of life. Now whether or not to include him in your PS is a different story. I wouldn't refer to him directly, but as others put it, say "family and friends".

 

[Fivo]

It's called the glass ceiling and this is one of its major contributors.

You can't be serious...

You do know adcoms aren't aliens right? It's a boyfriend. It's not like she's pregnant...And the reason for her not to mention him is not because of your 'glass ceiling', but because it seems childish since boyfriends come and go. A husband or wife is a different story (divorce doesn't count )

 

[OCDOCDOCD]

Wow, didn't expect the last part of your post. You're stretching it. You really think adcoms expect all women to remain celibate throughout college or what? Having a boyfriend is a natural part of life. Now whether or not to include him in your PS is a different story. I wouldn't refer to him directly, but as others put it, say "family and friends".

I've heard of female interviewees getting asked questions about family plans, marriage, kids, etc. While it does come off as sexist, keep in mind that it's not uncommon for female students to drop out to raise a family instead. Obviously most don't do this, but it is something schools are weary about. OP's fears are well founded.

That said, I think that mentioning the boyfriend would be a bad call for other reasons. It doesn't make you look independent/self-reliant. In addition, it's common knowledge that young adult relationships most often end up in flames sooner or later, so if you mention that your boyfriend is your main emotional support adcoms are going to have a very easy time imagining you failing all your classes because you two broke up in the middle of the semester. Put simply, there is nothing good that could come from mentioning your boyfriend in such a manner. Find something else to talk about.

 

[gyngyn]

It's called the glass ceiling and this is one of its major contributors.

I don't know anyone who values a restricted experience of life in order to be considered for this profession. All applicants are expected to have adult relationships. Referring to one's boyfriend in an application is a personal choice. Having a boyfriend (or girlfriend!) is normal.

 

[byaaaaaaah23]

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I didn't consider that side of it, but it's pretty obvious now

 

[Cinclus]

One of my secondary essays for Duke dealt with my relationship with my boyfriend. I got an interview invite.

Then I bombed the MMIs.

But then I lol'ed.

 

[Fivo]

.

 

[jmb10]

I'd say to leave your boyfriend out of it. It's important to have a support group that you can rely on consisting of family, friends, etc. I would stick to that sort of broad phrasing rather than singling your boyfriend out.

This also sounds like an opportunity to talk about your interests outside of medicine. For example, many people cope with stress by running or painting or playing music. I think it's important for admissions committees to see that you have these outside interests that you can use as an outlet to relieve stress and get away from school for a while. Hope that helps!

 

[slowbutsteady]

If I were reading your application I would dump you for talking about your "boyfriend" in any capacity. Very lame and immature.

 

[H Y F R]

If I were reading your application I would dump you for talking about your "boyfriend" in any capacity. Very lame and immature.

^This. Finally someone on one of these threads that tells it how it is. Well said.

 

[H Y F R]

Would you care to share (with personal information redacted)? It would be great to see an example of such an essay worded in a professional manner.

It is not professional in any way to talk about a boyfriend. Parents, siblings, spouse, children, etc., by all means discuss an issue that involved them. But boyfriend/girlfriend? Absolutely not.