Most ridiculous question from a nurse while on call

[u_r_my_serenity]

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Bell's post made me just want to re-emphasize that I do NOT feel nurses are dumb. I respect nurses very much and interns make many (hilarious) mistakes as well. To err is human after all.

 

[f_w]

No thread about RNs can exist without some ******ed offensive comment from bell412. If we collectively ignore him, maybe he goes away. Arguing with him is futile and only leads to further expressions of his repressed anger.

 

[MollyMalone]

you woctors are so cool. everbody wants to be as smart as you woctors.

why write so many order woctor? fill whole woctor page with worthless woctor orders. woctor gets many call from dumb dumb nurse.

Oh, not you again.

👎

 

[toxic-megacolon]

Interesting how many nurses don't hesitate for a moment to treat med students and interns like worthless pieces of crap, but become offended when we share funny stories amongst ourselves.

 

[sacrament]

you woctors are so cool. everbody wants to be as smart as you woctors.

why write so many order woctor? fill whole woctor page with worthless woctor orders. woctor gets many call from dumb dumb nurse.

HAHAHA! Just yesterday, my girlfriend (who also reads SDN) was making fun of me because I'm going to actually have to be a doctor come June, and she said "Hey, remember that lunatic nurse who used to post on SDN? The really angry, bitter one who said 'doctor woctor' a lot? That's what I'm going to call you: Doctor Woctor." And now here you are, in all your bitter glory! It's like we unintentionally summoned you. It's like you're the Candyman.

 

[bell412]

wow your going to be Wr. Sacramento!

 

[Loopo Henle]

Interesting how many nurses don't hesitate for a moment to treat med students and interns like worthless pieces of crap, but become offended when we share funny stories amongst ourselves.

I am a nurse, and in 6 weeks I will be a doctor, so I guess that makes me a woctor and a murse (i.e. Gaylord Fokker). I want to state for the record that I have enjoyed this thread. It has been the most even handed thread of this sort I have ever seen. Of course it has the standard, BUN is low, resident ordered a BUN transfusion story, but it has also been interspersed with nurses saved my butt stories. Bell is a troll, and he is a nurse thread specific troll. He is doing nothing for nurse-doctor relationships, but then again neither are many of you. Toxic's comments above are perfect examples of the problem. When I was a floor nurse, I HATED doctors as a whole, because I was routinely abused, threatened and mistreated by them (and I was a very good nurse). I was not exposed to med students and residents, but had I been, I might have been tempted to vent my frustration on doctors that held little power over me. The point of my rant is this: Nurses mistreat interns/students because they are mistreated. Doctors mistreat nurses because they were mistreated as interns/students. Who is going to break the cycle people? If not you, then don't whine about it.

 

[Loopo Henle]

wow your going to be Wr. Sacramento!

Bell, do all of the nurses in the world a favor, and shut up!!!!

 

[bell412]

sorry friend I don't want to shut up. It sounds like you know what I'm talking about though. Congrats graduating from medical school.

 

[Alician]

Bell, do all of the nurses in the world a favor, and shut up!!!!

Any advice for us new interns?

 

[doclm]

My favorite 4 am call (just as I fall asleep after a miserable night on call),

Me: Doctor Happy answering a page
Nurse: Dacturrrr Happi?
Me: Yeeeeeesssss.
Nurse: The pachient in room 9 has a ceeebeeeeceeee reeeesoooolt
Me: Ooooookay ...
Nurse: white bluuud cells 10.1, hemoooglooobin 13.4, plaaaatlets 250,000
Me: Thank you nurse Ramalamadingdong
Nurse: Bye Dacturrrr Haaaaappppi

*falls asleep while gouging eyes out*

 

[doclm]

On the heme onc floor -

RN - Docta, critical lab result!
Me - drowsy, hating 4am lab draws - yu-huh?
RN - WBC's 0.9, ANC 150
Me - cool - yesterday she was 0.0 and 0
RN - But it's a critical value!
Me - MD notified, no action taken.
-click-

I dislike the float pool.

(And yes, I know that being a float nurse is incredibly tough, but that doesn't mean I have to like it at 3am. Polite, yes. Like, no.)

Where's the policy about historically low results?
"No callback required"

 

[doclm]

Where's the policy about historically low results?
"No callback required"

Being a lab guy I seriously have seen some funny $h!t come from both Doctors and Nurses.

Just the other day a research nurse called the stat lab to tell me that she accidentally drew up some blood in a (yellow top) SST clot tube for a CBC, but was wondering if she could just take the top off and pour the partially clotted blood in a correct color tube. I told her no, it would plug up our machine.

How about a doctor (new resident) calling a the lab to add a CBC onto some serum that used for the Cardiopanel because he suspects the Hb to be low. My response: Yeah, serum really doesn't carry that many whole blood cells.

Everyday I see the normal CBC w/out diff ordered along with a separate Hb. Or just the other night, a new doctor ordered stat blood cultures along with a Cardiopanel + Troponin T + CKMB on three different patients on the same floor.

Now this is memorable story comming from a guy who was working with me over a year ago:

My lab partner "john" took a call down to CC1 ER for a stat ABG using an ISTAT machine. Once he arrived and was able to mingle around the 15 or more docs standing around the male patient, "john" took out a long needle and was prepared to do a femoral artery stick. But then comes along doctor X who said overconfidently "let me do this." DocX takes the needle, plunges it into the patient, but gets nothing. He again pulls out the needle and places it even deeper while pulling on the plunger, suddenly he pulls back a syringe full of urine and awed with sudden shock hands it back to "john". His reply: Ummm, do you want me to do a pregnancy test on this? 😱

 

[ORBITAL BEBOP]

Hello,

Funny how so many of the pages posted here are at 3 am..hmmmm

At 1 am, after getting under the scratchy blankets:
Nurse: Patient so and so cant sleep.
Me: Well neither can I.
Nurse: (silence)
Me: Allergies?
Nurse: None
Me: So give him some so and so med with a prn repeat.

Now, that wasnt supposed to be funny, but just to show some people who will remain nameless that instead of thinking we should write fewer orders, we should actually write tons of PRN orders to alleviate aggravation on other residents who are cross covering and dont know the other teams patients very well.

Also, my bridesmaid is a nurse and has been my friend for over 20 years. We talk about this nurse/resident dynamic. She didnt even know we were on for 30 hours in a row. She also said she has a low threshold for calling a resident b/c they dont have any power anyway.

There is also a huge nursing shortage so it is almost impossible to get anywhere complaining about a nurse to their superiors. No one wants to do all that work for that pay. They do bust their a** alot of the time.

ORBITAL

 

[bell412]

Knowledge is power. All of you that have gone through the rigors of medical school have gained a tremendous amount of medical knowledge. Use your knowledge wisely. Don't be so full of yourself. It is easy to do when you are physicians. People will hate you.

 

[toxic-megacolon]

Don't be so full of yourself.

Then don't page us at 3am asking if you should put in another IV, b/c Mr. X's came out while he was sleeping. Soudns like a fair deal.

I'M ONLY KIDDING

Don't mean to start anything...

 

[MD'05]

Check with your in-patient pharmacy before writing tons of prn meds. Oft times the med is sent to the floor whether or not the patient needs it. This is an assinine process that many hospitals institute and this drives up the cost of hospitalization depending on the medication.

 

[DrNick2006]

gotta chime in here.. I think that while many physicians are probably "full of themselves" the vast majority are not, are concerned with caring for there patients and are very busy. THey don't have time to massage every nurse who has an ax to grind. THe problem is that physicians have athority over nurses and people, epecially in our culture, hate having others tell them what to do. Some people, like bell, obviously have more trouble than others. My guess is that bell's own attitude makes his/her relationship with physicians worse, perpetuating the cycle. Its a two way street. We're all professionals. Work together, let the small stuff go and remember the patients are #1.

[step off soapbox]

 

[ORBITAL BEBOP]

... I think that while many physicians are probably "full of themselves" the vast majority are not, are concerned with caring for there patients and are very busy. THey don't have time to massage every nurse who has an ax to grind...
[step off soapbox]

Well said!!

 

[MD'05]

Very good point. I do hate people telling me what to do, that is why I especially hate bossy nurses that think they know everything when in fact they know nothing. Well that's not entirely true, they know how to hand out meds and make bed assignments. They can't wipe arses, start iv's, help the patient to the restroom, turn off a beeping iv pole, trouble shoot an iv occlusion, draw blood, or find a freaking bed pan when the patient needs one. Many of the nurses I work with are just plain lazy. If they didn't have a fleet of medical assistants (and ancillary staff such as RTs, phlebotomists, x-ray techs, social workers, case managers, and pharmacists) to do their work, I don't know how they would survive a shift. Now they have random nurse practitioners running around and writing random orders on patient charts, but alas, at 2 am when pharmacy gets around to filling the order, who do they call? The sleeping resident who isn't even on call. Why? Because NPs work a 9 to 5er and leave the rest of us "full of ourselves" doctors to do the work.

I freaking hate nurses with a passion!!!! The healthcare system is doomed. I hope they replace all residents with NPs and PAs and eliminate inpatient medicine. Let the hospitals foot the cost of patients dying left and right due to no continuity of care.

Ah, I feel so much better now.

 

[timtye78]

I have always tended to believe in the theory that 30 plus year old RNs (especially the ones with all the fancy other little initials attached) just can't stand that mid-twenties little MD/DO giving them orders-when, gd it, these little snot-nosed little kids telling them what do.

Geez, I thought the intent of the OP and other contributors was humor, I am so glad so many people felt the need to defend nurses yet once again, etc.

I am happy there are nurses that do that manual disimpaction instead of me. And I must add, being an anesthesiology resident sure has cut down on those ******ed floor calls from the RNs! hehe

 

[Loopo Henle]

Very good point. I do hate people telling me what to do, that is why I especially hate bossy nurses that think they know everything when in fact they know nothing. Well that's not entirely true, they know how to hand out meds and make bed assignments. They can't wipe arses, start iv's, help the patient to the restroom, turn off a beeping iv pole, trouble shoot an iv occlusion, draw blood, or find a freaking bed pan when the patient needs one. Many of the nurses I work with are just plain lazy. If they didn't have a fleet of medical assistants (and ancillary staff such as RTs, phlebotomists, x-ray techs, social workers, case managers, and pharmacists) to do their work, I don't know how they would survive a shift. Now they have random nurse practitioners running around and writing random orders on patient charts, but alas, at 2 am when pharmacy gets around to filling the order, who do they call? The sleeping resident who isn't even on call. Why? Because NPs work a 9 to 5er and leave the rest of us "full of ourselves" doctors to do the work.

I freaking hate nurses with a passion!!!! The healthcare system is doomed. I hope they replace all residents with NPs and PAs and eliminate inpatient medicine. Let the hospitals foot the cost of patients dying left and right due to no continuity of care.

Ah, I feel so much better now.

Ohhhh boy. I tell you, sometimes I wonder about the seriously afflicted axis II crazy people our profession attracts. Honestly, I hope this post is a joke.

 

[MD'05]

Ohhhh boy. I tell you, sometimes I wonder about the seriously afflicted axis II crazy people our profession attracts. Honestly, I hope this post is a joke.

You are obviously not a resident, and if you are, you must be in psych. Pot calling the kettle black if you ask me. Wait till you are in residency, then talk to me, skippy.

 

[Rael]

Hello,

Funny how so many of the pages posted here are at 3 am..hmmmm

At 1 am, after getting under the scratchy blankets:
Nurse: Patient so and so cant sleep.
Me: Well neither can I.
Nurse: (silence)
Me: Allergies?
Nurse: None
Me: So give him some so and so med with a prn repeat.

Now, that wasnt supposed to be funny, but just to show some people who will remain nameless that instead of thinking we should write fewer orders, we should actually write tons of PRN orders to alleviate aggravation on other residents who are cross covering and dont know the other teams patients very well.

Also, my bridesmaid is a nurse and has been my friend for over 20 years. We talk about this nurse/resident dynamic. She didnt even know we were on for 30 hours in a row. She also said she has a low threshold for calling a resident b/c they dont have any power anyway.

There is also a huge nursing shortage so it is almost impossible to get anywhere complaining about a nurse to their superiors. No one wants to do all that work for that pay. They do bust their a** alot of the time.

ORBITAL

Okay...I hate to start trouble but I have to say it. What does the average nurse make? $45000-50000? Also, big sign-on bonuses? The work can be trying at times and they are often underappreciated...BUT, how many jobs that require nothing more than two years of community college level training (associates degree) pay that much money? Cops risk their lives for maybe that much, if not less. Teachers have to go to four years of college and only make about that much. I know engineers and chemists with BS degrees that come out of college making $40,000. Heck, I have a friend who has a masters in engineering and he's only making 50,000 after five years of being out of grad school.

It's all relative...and, frankly, I can't think of any other job that pays that kind of money for relatively little education.

Again, I'll repeat...they often work hard and help us out and keep things moving smoothly...and I appreciate that...but let's stop complaining about the pay, it's more than appropriate for the work involved.

 

[Loopo Henle]

You are obviously not a resident, and if you are, you must be in psych. Pot calling the kettle black if you ask me. Wait till you are in residency, then talk to me, skippy.

I'm not a resident, I will give you that. I do have some axis II issues, but mine are cluster C and yours sound alot like cluster B, and that is scary. Drop the "I'm a resident, so I can bash nurses, and you know nothing" crap. I guarantee I have been in this game alot longer than you.
I don't know why I feel the need to get into pissing matches with trolls on this website. I can't help myself I guess. Years of pent up anger at getting crapped on by MD's rearing its ugly head. I just have to remember that this is an anonymous website, and that people like MD'05 are not really like the personas that they put forward. The underlying insecurity is real but the bravado if false. I guarantee he would never say those things about nurses to a nurse's face. That would take balls. Loopo Henle, out!!!

 

[mmmmdonuts]

I guarantee I have been in this game alot longer than you.

how does that statement disprove anything he said?

 

[southerndoc]

OK, I have to chime in finally. This one really annoyed me.

I saw a psych patient two days ago in the ED. I get a call last night from a nurse on the psych floor.

Nurse: "Hello, Dr. southerndoc?"
Me: "Yes."
Nurse: "You documented on your H&P that patient so and so was on klonopin when in fact she was on clonidine. You need to file an addendum to that. That confused us up here."
Me: "What does the psych H&P say?"
Nurse: "He hasn't done one yet."
Me: "My documentation is not a H&P, so maybe you should tell the psych resident to give you the correct meds. Thank you for calling."

 

[ORBITAL BEBOP]

Ok, I guess I stand corrected on the pay scale but if it is such great pay for the work and education, why is there still such a massive shortage? You would think people would line up for this job.

 

[ORBITAL BEBOP]

Very good point. I do hate people telling me what to do, that is why I especially hate bossy nurses that think they know everything when in fact they know nothing. Well that's not entirely true, they know how to hand out meds and make bed assignments. They can't wipe arses, start iv's, help the patient to the restroom, turn off a beeping iv pole, trouble shoot an iv occlusion, draw blood, or find a freaking bed pan when the patient needs one. Many of the nurses I work with are just plain lazy. If they didn't have a fleet of medical assistants (and ancillary staff such as RTs, phlebotomists, x-ray techs, social workers, case managers, and pharmacists) to do their work, I don't know how they would survive a shift. Now they have random nurse practitioners running around and writing random orders on patient charts, but alas, at 2 am when pharmacy gets around to filling the order, who do they call? The sleeping resident who isn't even on call. Why? Because NPs work a 9 to 5er and leave the rest of us "full of ourselves" doctors to do the work.

I freaking hate nurses with a passion!!!! The healthcare system is doomed. I hope they replace all residents with NPs and PAs and eliminate inpatient medicine. Let the hospitals foot the cost of patients dying left and right due to no continuity of care.

Ah, I feel so much better now.

I was with you up until the end of the first paragraph. 😕

 

[MD'05]

Loopo Henle, out!!!

Now that's GAY!

 

[scalpel007]

I have been busy for last couple of days, and I happen to have a second to see that this thread has gone from humerous and lighthearted to frustrated and defensive. You have got to be kidding me.

I started this just to have a few laughs guys and gals. That's all. What has happened to us as a profession where even the simplest joke that has no creul or mean or vicious intention becomes such a big deal. We all need to step back a bit, lay off the provigil and Mountain Dew, and just chill. That said, I have a great one from last night that still has me laughing outloud.

Pager goes off (about 9pm)
Me: Hello?
Nurse on ortho floor: Are you on call for orthopedics?
Me: Yes.
Nurse: I have problem with hip fracture you just admitted.
Me: What's up?
Nurse: Well . . . are you aware that this man has had a full erection since he came up to the floor?
Me: Are you shi_t'in me?
Nurse: No, I'm not.
Me: Be down in a second.

Walk downstairs to find that guy lying in bed, asleep (after a total of 4 of dilauded courtsey of the ER), with a full freakin' erection. I'm thinkin' . . . what the hell? Call his much younger wife from the cafeteria, who comes up to the floor giggling. Turns out he has an inflatable internal penis prostheses, and she thought it would be hilarous to inflate it and go gets some dinner.

Unbelievable. Her husband (or should I say suger daddy) is lying in bed with a displaced hip fracture, and she gives him a boner and walks away? I don't even have the words . . .

 

[Hellboy]

Boinggg!

 

[Flea girl]

I have been busy for last couple of days, and I happen to have a second to see that this thread has gone from humerous and lighthearted to frustrated and defensive. You have got to be kidding me.

I started this just to have a few laughs guys and gals. That's all. What has happened to us as a profession where even the simplest joke that has no creul or mean or vicious intention becomes such a big deal. We all need to step back a bit, lay off the provigil and Mountain Dew, and just chill. That said, I have a great one from last night that still has me laughing outloud.

Pager goes off (about 9pm)
Me: Hello?
Nurse on ortho floor: Are you on call for orthopedics?
Me: Yes.
Nurse: I have problem with hip fracture you just admitted.
Me: What's up?
Nurse: Well . . . are you aware that this man has had a full erection since he came up to the floor?
Me: Are you shi_t'in me?
Nurse: No, I'm not.
Me: Be down in a second.

Walk downstairs to find that guy lying in bed, asleep (after a total of 4 of dilauded courtsey of the ER), with a full freakin' erection. I'm thinkin' . . . what the hell? Call his much younger wife from the cafeteria, who comes up to the floor giggling. Turns out he has an inflatable internal penis prostheses, and she thought it would be hilarous to inflate it and go gets some dinner.

Unbelievable. Her husband (or should I say suger daddy) is lying in bed with a displaced hip fracture, and she gives him a boner and walks away? I don't even have the words . . .

That made my day !!! Kinda makes you guys think twice about getting a mucher younger trophy wife later in life

 

[deleted52758]

nurse: doctor, is there anything i can give for hiccups?
me: uh i dunno, let me ask my colleagues (pause, ask the other four residents in the room)
me: uh. why dont you try scaring him?
nurse: haha

we had a good laugh about that one.

 

[GMO2003]

nurse: doctor, is there anything i can give for hiccups?
me: uh i dunno, let me ask my colleagues (pause, ask the other four residents in the room)
me: uh. why dont you try scaring him?
nurse: haha

we had a good laugh about that one.

actually that's a pretty common complaint...anecdotally 25-50 mg of Thorazine usually does the trick 👍

 

[Wahoos]

I just put my head down and about to drift into sleep, hoping for a couple of hours before round.
3am in the morning, pager goes off.
"Hi, are you the Ortho resident on call"
Yes
"Good, This Dr.XXXX from the ED, I have a 16 yr old woman who fell off her horse this afternoon and complaints of left hip pain."
Do you have any films?
"yes, no fracture on X ray, and I even got a CT scan of the left hip."
Great, what does the CT show? (thinking, maybe she had a labrum tear or some kind of hair line fx)"
"CT is negative"
😡 , So why are you consulting Ortho?
"Well, she has hip pain and I just wanted to be sure"
To be sure of what????!!!
OK, never mind, I will come down to see the consult. Thanks.


2:30am
"Hi are you covering General Surgery?"
Yes..
"Do you know Mr. XXXXXX?"
Ahh....yes, (flipping through my list of 50 or so surgical patients that I have no idea who they are except for a line that says the post op day and the procedure)
"Well, his blood pressure is 90s over 50s, what are you going to do!"
Wait, 90s/50s, what do you mean what am I going to do?
"He is for sure bleeding out somewhere, you need to come see this patient NOW!!"
Bleeding out?? What has his B/P been running?
"umm... I don't know, let me get his chart....."
wait.....wait....
"here is the chart... umm, he is been running kinda low.... 90s/60s"
Did he get any blood pressure meds?
"Let me check..... oh, yes, he had his B/P meds right before going to bed"
Ok, thanks... click. 😡

 

[supahfresh]

4:00 am

me: blue surgery returning a page
n: is Mr. X staying the night?
me: call me in an hour *click*

 

[caroladybelle]

actually that's a pretty common complaint...anecdotally 25-50 mg of Thorazine usually does the trick 👍

Baclofen also works nicely.

 

[Diane L. Evans]

0200
RN: Mrs X cant go to the bathroom
me: It's 2 am
RN:We'll can we give her an enema or or suppository
me: sure, is she awake?
RN: Oh no she has been sleeping all evening.
me:And the concern is?
RN: The patient commented how she usually has a BM every day and I just wanted her to have one.
me:Let's wait until the morning OK and ask the patient. If she is sleeping I don't think we should wake her up.

No knocks on the ER guys most of the call come from people rotating there or MS4's

0230
ER: I have a trauma patient whose 1 mo pregnant in an 80mph crash
Me: Is she conscious.
ER no
Me: Rh+,
ER Yes but we are concerned about her pregnancy and doing Xrays
Me: There is not much I can do for her now. She's 20 weeks from viabilty the trauma team should do everything needed to stabalize the patient.
ER: Are you sure we don;t need a consult.
Me Yes I'll see her in the am and write a short note then

0245
ER: I have a 18 yo who is vaginal bleeding
Me:Is she pregnant, CBC, vitals
ER no not pregnant, Hgb 13, 120/80's no fever. Pelvic is normal. Just blood coming out from the cervix on speculum exam
Me: when was her last menstral period
ER: pause... um let me go check. Last month. She's every 4 weeks for 5 days
Me: Dx menses

0300
ER: I have a 18 yo with abdominal pain she's been sitting here 3 hours. I just lifted up her shirt and her fundal height is at the Xiphoid. No PNC. and U/S vertex and FHT in to 50's. Oh and BTW the patient denies she is pregnant. Her mom's with her
Me: Send her up
Patient arrives 8 cm gets epidural delivers 30min later... I ask the patient haven't you felt the baby more. Yes she responds. Why didn't you tell you mom? Her response. I thought it would go away. In the background I hear her mom on the phone "John our daughter is having a baby..No a baby...I'm serious...No I don't know how it happened...."

 

[caroladybelle]

Okay...I hate to start trouble but I have to say it. What does the average nurse make? $45000-50000? Also, big sign-on bonuses? The work can be trying at times and they are often underappreciated...BUT, how many jobs that require nothing more than two years of community college level training (associates degree) pay that much money? Cops risk their lives for maybe that much, if not less. Teachers have to go to four years of college and only make about that much. I know engineers and chemists with BS degrees that come out of college making $40,000. Heck, I have a friend who has a masters in engineering and he's only making 50,000 after five years of being out of grad school.

It's all relative...and, frankly, I can't think of any other job that pays that kind of money for relatively little education.

Again, I'll repeat...they often work hard and help us out and keep things moving smoothly...and I appreciate that...but let's stop complaining about the pay, it's more than appropriate for the work involved.

Well, let's see the shortage somewhat speaks for itself.

Part of it is the misnomer that there is a Two-year nursing degree. The vast majority of Associate Degree programs are actually three years, minimum, not two. Yes, it says associate's but that is somewhat like the old physical therapy 5 year bachelor's.

Again, it doesn't matter how little/much education one has IF NO ONE WANTS TO DO THE JOB.

To a certain extent, no matter how much education we have, if we are going to benefit the patient population, we will be working around spit, vomit, pee, poop, germs and very very bad tempered people., who seem to think that because we are nurses, that they can slap us, scream at us, call us names, threaten us....MDs/visitors/patients.

For some reason, there are a lot of people that don't find this attractive as an occupation.

The comparison with police is not valid. Police get to wear guns, and bullet proof vests. If someone mistreats them, they are going to jail or charged with a crime. If a nurse is mistreated, too often hospitals sweep it under the table or tell her to "just deal" with it, or that s/he must have done something to deserve it.

Those of us that are good, will rarely be able to leave work on time, will miss most of our breaks, and have lousy dietary habits from eating that crap that gets served in the cafeteria...if there is even a cafeteria open. We do a great deal of work /pay for a lot of course work in our off time that we do not get reimbursed for to be even better nurses. We do not get to choose our partners (unlike you), frequently know little about the skills of those unlicensed caregivers we may have delegate to ( unlike you who pick out your staff). We can be low censused or mandated at the drop of a hat, and if we refuse mandation, we will be threatened with loss of our license. We have very little control of our schedules, surroundings, coworkers.

If I call you with normal results, it is because some d&*%head wrote and order stating "Call with results". And I have had said d^&*head chew me over, because he was up "all night" waiting for results (as to why he couldn't call his/herself?????). Or someone whined to the unit director that some result was not called.

Do you not think that I have much better things to do than, page, wait for pages, and crap like that.

I have also had interns (in Oncology) that called me to find out what to do about a low uric acid in a leukemic. Or write orders for O2 - 12.5%, and get nasty when respiratory called to question.

But my favorite is getting stuck in the middle of p%^&ing matches between the PharmD and the MD, or between radiology and the MD. Some dip decides that the MD has to write the reason for ordering Lovenox/IV Vitamin K/etc. on a patient that falls out of the usual norm and will not dispense it. Do they call the MD,,,nooooo, call the nurse and make her enforce pharmacy policy. Would the Rad ever call the MD directly to question the need for a test,, no relay it to the nurse...who callls the MD and takes the heat. Not to mention it is the nurse's fault if radiology hasn't read the film in a timely matter.

Chances are if a nurse is calling you about trivial stuff, it because s/he has dealt with a micromanaging MD, complaining MD, or someone is requiring it him/her on these things.

 

[cdql]

I have been busy for last couple of days, and I happen to have a second to see that this thread has gone from humerous and lighthearted to frustrated and defensive. You have got to be kidding me.

I started this just to have a few laughs guys and gals. That's all. What has happened to us as a profession where even the simplest joke that has no creul or mean or vicious intention becomes such a big deal. We all need to step back a bit, lay off the provigil and Mountain Dew, and just chill. That said, I have a great one from last night that still has me laughing outloud.

Pager goes off (about 9pm)
Me: Hello?
Nurse on ortho floor: Are you on call for orthopedics?
Me: Yes.
Nurse: I have problem with hip fracture you just admitted.
Me: What's up?
Nurse: Well . . . are you aware that this man has had a full erection since he came up to the floor?
Me: Are you shi_t'in me?
Nurse: No, I'm not.
Me: Be down in a second.

Walk downstairs to find that guy lying in bed, asleep (after a total of 4 of dilauded courtsey of the ER), with a full freakin' erection. I'm thinkin' . . . what the hell? Call his much younger wife from the cafeteria, who comes up to the floor giggling. Turns out he has an inflatable internal penis prostheses, and she thought it would be hilarous to inflate it and go gets some dinner.

Unbelievable. Her husband (or should I say suger daddy) is lying in bed with a displaced hip fracture, and she gives him a boner and walks away? I don't even have the words . . .

Time to get a divorce! And of course retell that story in court just to show how cruel the wife was 🙂

 

[mmmmdonuts]

If I call you with normal results, it is because some d&*%head wrote and order stating "Call with results". And I have had said d^&*head chew me over, because he was up "all night" waiting for results (as to why he couldn't call his/herself?????). Or someone whined to the unit director that some result was not called.

please. nurses says stuff like this all the time. and yet theyll bug you all night with normal vitals and then forget to tell you about the guy who spiked a temp and was newly tachycardic whoopsie. and if you complain theyre like 'hey, you always say you dont want to be called.' how much sense does that make? you mean you put that little though t into your job that you can only process 'always call' or 'always no call'. and still manage to break that same rule intermittently? its hilarious. you cant use that defense of 'you told me not to call' if youre at the same time calling in normal values.

Chances are if a nurse is calling you about trivial stuff, it because s/he has dealt with a micromanaging MD, complaining MD, or someone is requiring it him/her on these things.

false. thats a convenient shift the blame tactic again. anyone know docs who tell nurses to call them with fingersticks on a regular basis? or bps? or 90% of the other stuff? anyeone? and if so then why arent the nurses callig with all that stuff for every patient every shift every day?

 

[toofache32]

No knocks on the ER guys most of the call come from people rotating there or MS4's

I've gotten some bozo calls from general surgery. Including the consult to the trauma bay for an "unstable maxilla".....I reached into the guys mouth and pulled out a denture.

 

[IndyXRT]

If I call you with normal results, it is because some d&*%head wrote and order stating "Call with results". And I have had said d^&*head chew me over, because he was up "all night" waiting for results (as to why he couldn't call his/herself?????). Or someone whined to the unit director that some result was not called.

But my favorite is getting stuck in the middle of p%^&ing matches between the PharmD and the MD, or between radiology and the MD. Some dip decides that the MD has to write the reason for ordering Lovenox/IV Vitamin K/etc. on a patient that falls out of the usual norm and will not dispense it. Do they call the MD,,,nooooo, call the nurse and make her enforce pharmacy policy. Would the Rad ever call the MD directly to question the need for a test,, no relay it to the nurse...who callls the MD and takes the heat. Not to mention it is the nurse's fault if radiology hasn't read the film in a timely matter.

Chances are if a nurse is calling you about trivial stuff, it because s/he has dealt with a micromanaging MD, complaining MD, or someone is requiring it him/her on these things.

I experienced these situations on multiple occasions as an intern (esp. at the county hospital). I've even been guilty of writing some of those orders to call with lab result (sometimes I was worried it would be abnormal, sometimes my attending or resident insisted it be called regardless, etc.). Lots of crosscover pain is created by the poor order writing of interns (at least in my experience, and yes, I was also a guilty party). I really dislike getting micromanaging calls about tests or medicine orders, but I try to realize when the nurse is being caught in the middle. I usually handle this by calling pharmacy or radiology directly to discuss the problem. I realize this is off the original topic, and it is in no way meant as a criticism of this thread (which I think is hilarious). I just thought I'd point out that the proximal cause of many of the funny/annoying calls (but certainly not all of them) was another intern. Not that I didn't generate plenty of funny/annoying calls myself (both to nurses, other departments, residents, attendings, etc.). That's what happens when you're learning on the job.

 

[funkless]

I've gotten some bozo calls from general surgery. Including the consult to the trauma bay for an "unstable maxilla".....I reached into the guys mouth and pulled out a denture.

Classic

 

[caroladybelle]

please. nurses says stuff like this all the time.

false. thats a convenient shift the blame tactic again. anyone know docs who tell nurses to call them with fingersticks on a regular basis? or bps? or 90% of the other stuff? anyeone? and if so then why arent the nurses callig with all that stuff for every patient every shift every day?

Why do you think that we say? Because it is true.

Last assignment. Dr. S (winter park - florida) - endocrinology - Requested every fingerstick called to him that was over 200....which meant EVERY FINGERSTICK got called. For virtually on the floor while I was there. Even the AC, HS and two hour postprandals. This guy was a private MD.

For every specialty in most facilities, there will be at least one.

If you write an order saying you want to be called with the results, you have to expect , that you will get called. Don't write it if you don't mean it.

But then you are an expert, since you have worked for so many years as a nurse and as an MD?

 

[Mumpu]

FYI, cops and firefighters start in the low 30's.

A good nurse is your best ally on the floor. A bad one is your worst enemy. Hospitals seem to be moving away from LPN's which means you get at least an extra year of education. The last ICU I worked in was employing only BSNs -- that's a real college degree and it very much showed in the quality of the nurses. So I'm optimistic.

 

[mmmmdonuts]

Why do you think that we say? Because it is true.

its called rationalization sweetheart. its the same reason every nurse says if you get a bad phonecall its because youre a crap doctor and thats nurses getting back at you and the truth is that you need to be nicer and really the bad calls are your own fault and not because nurses arent putting any thought into their work. any other explanation possible? no.

 

[mmmmdonuts]

A bad one is your worst enemy.

you know how people constantly say to treat nurses nicely or they will be your worst enemy or your life will be a living hell or you will never sleep or somethig? do nurses say to treat doctors nicely or your life will be a living hell? and if nurses are mistreated by doctors do nurses say to each other well that must be because you were mean to the doctor and the solution is to treat lightly around doctors and be nicer to them and try to befriend them. i wonder why not.

 

[cdql]

It's probably because doctors get all the attention, respect, and most importantly, the successes. No one thanks the nurse for a good job done on a patient.

Because doctors have larger rewards to reap, they should be held to higher standards in terms of treating nurses and patients well.

I'm not saying this gives free reign for nurses to be arrogan and disrespectful. But I can understand how underappreciated they can be and how that can translate into an unhappy attitude.