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- Aug 21, 2007
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MDCalc is a great app. Nobody here is going to disagree.
It's especially powerful when you can pull the CDM rules up on your phone at the bedside, and "walk" the chest pain patient, or the worried mom of the PECARN patient thru the logic of the decision-making. It talks a lot of muggles off of the ledge. Nobody here is going to disagree.
But...
I have had a rash of muggle-mommies ask me during my bedside "shared decision-making" (with MDCalc as the focus) ask me the same question:
"Can I just download this and use it, too ?"
I always answer politely.
"It requires you to have a physician-level understanding of medical knowledge."
I get rebuttals to this statement surprisingly commonly.
"But; if all you have to do is click thru things [sic] on a screen, then anyone can do it! I mean, my cousin in is nursing school; so she knows what this all means."
It is at this point that I generally want to punch the muggle-mommy in their muggle-mommy-mouth.
Can you calculate a GCS? [I actually say this.]
Do you know what a basilar skull fracture looks like? [I actually say this.]
Can you make a decision regarding the true clinical suspicion for ACS? [I actually say this.]
Do you even know the metric system? (uh, no) [I don't actually say this.]
Can you do more than one simple mathematical calculation in sequence, with or without the assistance of a calculator? [I certainly don't say this, but Jeeeeezus, do I want to!]
Listen, muggles:
I doubt that you can do any of those things, seeing as how you "give up" when I ask you how many milligrams of ibuprofen you've given your muggle-baby for its muggle-fever, because that would require TWO "math problems".
I have seriously had multiple muggle-mommies say to me: "Oh, I ask my husband to do math problems. He's not here now."
This is in the well-off, well-educated, "country-club" area of my city. I work in the "Country Club ER" where the kids all go to private schools that get them into the Ivy-Leage University of their choice.
Hold up. *Record scratch. Freeze-frame.*
I just pulled back my boxer shorts and looked between my legs.
I have a penis. It kinda swings back and forth, and it feels nice and tingly when I touch it. Gets bigger, too.
Therefore, I am now responsible for doing all of the "math problems" that are necessary to "do".
Wait a sec:
Mrs. Fox has something to say:
"RustedFox is good at math, but I am far better."
Guys, she's right. Ask me to do 2x2 digit multiplication in my head [EX: 36 X 14], and there's a decent amount of cognitive delay. Not unreasonable, but I have to think it thru.
She has the answer in three seconds or less, and leaves my flaccid penis swinging in the breeze.
This is reason number 6 X 12 why it's okay to hate the muggles.
It's especially powerful when you can pull the CDM rules up on your phone at the bedside, and "walk" the chest pain patient, or the worried mom of the PECARN patient thru the logic of the decision-making. It talks a lot of muggles off of the ledge. Nobody here is going to disagree.
But...
I have had a rash of muggle-mommies ask me during my bedside "shared decision-making" (with MDCalc as the focus) ask me the same question:
"Can I just download this and use it, too ?"
I always answer politely.
"It requires you to have a physician-level understanding of medical knowledge."
I get rebuttals to this statement surprisingly commonly.
"But; if all you have to do is click thru things [sic] on a screen, then anyone can do it! I mean, my cousin in is nursing school; so she knows what this all means."
It is at this point that I generally want to punch the muggle-mommy in their muggle-mommy-mouth.
Can you calculate a GCS? [I actually say this.]
Do you know what a basilar skull fracture looks like? [I actually say this.]
Can you make a decision regarding the true clinical suspicion for ACS? [I actually say this.]
Do you even know the metric system? (uh, no) [I don't actually say this.]
Can you do more than one simple mathematical calculation in sequence, with or without the assistance of a calculator? [I certainly don't say this, but Jeeeeezus, do I want to!]
Listen, muggles:
I doubt that you can do any of those things, seeing as how you "give up" when I ask you how many milligrams of ibuprofen you've given your muggle-baby for its muggle-fever, because that would require TWO "math problems".
I have seriously had multiple muggle-mommies say to me: "Oh, I ask my husband to do math problems. He's not here now."
This is in the well-off, well-educated, "country-club" area of my city. I work in the "Country Club ER" where the kids all go to private schools that get them into the Ivy-Leage University of their choice.
Hold up. *Record scratch. Freeze-frame.*
I just pulled back my boxer shorts and looked between my legs.
I have a penis. It kinda swings back and forth, and it feels nice and tingly when I touch it. Gets bigger, too.
Therefore, I am now responsible for doing all of the "math problems" that are necessary to "do".
Wait a sec:
Mrs. Fox has something to say:
"RustedFox is good at math, but I am far better."
Guys, she's right. Ask me to do 2x2 digit multiplication in my head [EX: 36 X 14], and there's a decent amount of cognitive delay. Not unreasonable, but I have to think it thru.
She has the answer in three seconds or less, and leaves my flaccid penis swinging in the breeze.
This is reason number 6 X 12 why it's okay to hate the muggles.
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