My Car Exploded. (No, seriously)

Discussion in 'Pharmacy' started by WVUPharm2007, May 31, 2008.

  1. WVUPharm2007

    WVUPharm2007 imagine sisyphus happy
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    So I'm at Sam's buying bulk Mike-sustaining supplies. This includes bulk chimichanga packages, bulk pot sticker packages, 30-packs of bottled water, bulk packages of Kashi Go-Bars, and #90 Adderall 20mg....which is kind of like a bulk purchase.

    So anyway, I'm checking out and a few dozen employees start running in and out of the store in a panic. Over the intercom they announce, "if you are parked in the side parking lot, you need to move your vehicle....NOW!"

    Being that I was parked in said lot, I kinda put a little bounce in my step and "rode" the back of the cart to the door where the old receipt checking guy was doing his incredibly easy and pointless job.

    [​IMG]
    As he's magic markering my receipt he says to some other employee, "Hey, Bob, will you tell the owner of a Red Buick in the side lot to come to the parking lot IMMEDIATELY."

    Odd, I thought....I was driving a red Buick. [​IMG]
    So I continue using the shopping buggy as a scooter and scoot myself to the parking lot where....you guessed it...my worthless deathtrap of a Buick was engulfed in flames and a dozen or so Sam's monkeys were dancing around my car with fire extinguishers. It was like trying to extinguish Dante's Inferno with a squirt gun.
    And not a cool super soaker
    [​IMG]
    ....oh no. One of those dinky plastic jobs you buy at Kroger for 85 cents in the checkout isle.....
    [​IMG].

    In time they realized that their futile attempts at making my car less on fire were...well...futile. Eventually the fire department shows up. For some reason they decided the best course of action was to beat my car with a giant ice pick looking thing (no, seriously). After realizing that you can't beat a fire to death, they whipped out the water hoses and finally took the fire out. By this point, I swear to God, no less than 400 people were standing in a circle around the car. I almost expected a guy with a hotdog on a stick to show up in a few seconds all pissed off that they extinguished his barbecue. You'd be amazed at the amount of smoke a 1998 Buick Regal LS can produce.

    Then this idiot old guy notices all of the parking spaces available and actually parked his car three spaces away from my charred hunk of metal with a dozen firemen running around it, blasting it with water. He gets out all proud of his space, then while walking to the enterance, glances right and *realizes* in a sort of shock the commotion that has magically appeared in front of him. He then gets in his car and moves it away. It was damn hilarious.

    So afterwards, when it's out, I approach the car. A firemen goes, "I'd hate to be the poor son of a bitch that owns this piece of ****!" as I'm standing two inches behind him. I pat him on the back and say, " 'at's me, buddy." The look on his face was priceless.

    I tried to talk to them about the entire process of why a car decides to spontaneously explode. Their best answer was, "It's been happening a lot around here lately. This is the fourth one in two weeks. It just seems to happen." I asked to see the security tape, but for some reason the Walton's only pay for "lookin'" cameras, not "recordin" cameras as a Sam's employee so eloquently pointed out. Being as though I only had liability on that piece of crap, I'm up ****'s creek without a mechanism for fighting it's current. I'm personally hoping more cars explode and some ******* arsonist is lighting them up. Then I might get some cash from someone.

    That won't happen though. I'm sure my car randomly exploded. It's so absurd and ridiculous that it is just one of those things that *would* happen to me.

    Here are some cell phone pictures I took:
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    I guess I have to get a job now. My evil plan of waiting as long as humanly possible thanks to diligent budgeting has been royally f'd over. Oh well. Maybe it's the universe's way of telling me to stop doing nothing with my life. A nice exploding car....that's one hell of a way to get a point across....
     
    #1 WVUPharm2007, May 31, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2008
  2. Farmercyst

    Farmercyst From the shadows
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    Dude, that's harsh. Were you and the wife sharing the car or did you each have your own?
     
  3. WVUPharm2007

    WVUPharm2007 imagine sisyphus happy
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    I also have a '96 Taurus with a shade under 160,000 miles on her. We need two cars though for various reason. It's okay though. I'll swindle myself into another car. You have no idea how underhanded and resourceful I can be...
     
  4. Farmercyst

    Farmercyst From the shadows
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    Yeah, my wife and I are doing the two car thing as well. I'd probably be able to work around having just one car, but I certainly am in no hurry to try it. Good luck on the underhandedness.
     
  5. WVUPharm2007

    WVUPharm2007 imagine sisyphus happy
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    My prediction: I'll have a nicer car within 2 weeks.
     
  6. nlax30

    nlax30 Fellow
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    Good Lord! At least you weren't in it driving around when it bought the farm.

    You ever figure out what exactly happened?

    My very first car years ago, an '89 Olds, almost caught fire as I was driving home. Smoke started filling the cabin so I pulled over and ran out. Apparently leaves that would fall down where hood meets the windshield would work their way further down into some dark recess and would rest against the heater gizmo.

    Good luck on the car shopping. Just spent last weekend out car shopping for the wife...... realized how much I hate that process. If you're in the market for a truck though you can pretty much name your price.
     
  7. soparu

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    that was a great story
     
  8. Old Timer

    Old Timer SDN Advisor
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    You are the ultimate schlimzal.

    unlucky person, luckless person, person with perpetual bad luck; clumsy person (m.) shlimazl שלימזל
     
  9. firefighter9015

    firefighter9015 It's not THAT kind of study hour...
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    For your info, they beat it with an ice pick to let heat and smoke escape, its called ventalation, and you have to do it be it a structure fire or be it a car fire. As a firefighter, I have saw many of a car spontansoulsy explode. There are many reasons why they do this and it all depends on the circumstances surrounding it.

    I am sorry about your car though.
     
  10. RxWildcat

    RxWildcat Julius Randle BEASTMODE!
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    Bummer about the car. Thats crazy!
     
  11. 117296

    117296 Guest

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    I'd never believe you unless you had the pictures to prove it.

    Wow. I hope my vehicle does not decide to explode some day..
     
  12. DoctorRx1986

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    Ea (energy of activation) of explosion= 0.
     
  13. WVUPharm2007

    WVUPharm2007 imagine sisyphus happy
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    Oh, no, I figured there was a reason of some sort. People beating the car to death for no apparent reason just makes for a better story.
     
  14. firefighter9015

    firefighter9015 It's not THAT kind of study hour...
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    That it does :) Now you know the reason.
     
  15. GatorRxGirl

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    Was that an actual picture of the Sams employee?

    Sorry to hear about your car. At least you weren't in it!
     
  16. soyroger

    soyroger New Member
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    Wow, that's crazy. Almost happened to my piece of crap '72 bug years ago. Luckily I was just pulling up to a friends house when the engine caught fire (old cracked fuel lines) and we got the hose on it before that magnesium alloy case got going. Hope you find good deal.
     
  17. SPYR

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    Mazal Tov!

     
  18. ShyRem

    ShyRem I need more coffee.
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    I would'a run back into Sam's club IMMEDIATELY to purchase marshmallows and spears. And also as a former firefighter, I enjoyed hearing a pikepole being referred to as an "ice pick".

    Great story. :laugh: hope you get a newer car. A better car. a nicer car.
     
  19. armybound

    armybound urologist.
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    but did you get home in time to save your chimichangas from thawing?
     
  20. DrugDealer

    DrugDealer Senior Member
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    Even more important, how did you carry all those 30 packs of bottle water home?!
     
  21. FruitFly

    Moderator Emeritus 5+ Year Member

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    :laugh:
     
  22. FruitFly

    Moderator Emeritus 5+ Year Member

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    good word. heh
     
  23. firefighter9015

    firefighter9015 It's not THAT kind of study hour...
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    True True about the pikepole. When I showed my sister and father the story (they are also firefighters) they started cracking about how WVU told the story.

    Was you a paid or volunteer firefighter?
     
  24. bananaface

    bananaface Pharmacy Supernerd
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    pikepole is an odd word
     
  25. firefighter9015

    firefighter9015 It's not THAT kind of study hour...
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    That it is. I actually just did a google search on it and didn't find anything except for what it was and what it was used for. The fire service has many words and terms that most people think is odd. I have always found "Jaws of Life" a very weird term, but whatever, who am I?
     
  26. Nikki2002

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    i can't imagine my car just catching on fire. and then getting pikepoled. that would be a very traumatic experience.
     
  27. Strength&Speed

    Strength&Speed Need more speed......
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    dude that's awesome, i felt like i was there. i wish my car exploded
     
  28. WVUPharm2007

    WVUPharm2007 imagine sisyphus happy
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    I weaseled my way into an '05 Taurus with 40,000 miles to replace the aforementioned hunk of metal formerly known as a '98 Buick with 110,000 miles. I'm picking it up this weekend. The only thing that sucks is that it has no radio. Oh well. Nothing exciting, but it's still a step up and I got it for $3000 under book plus I will pocket roughly $2000. So I had a car explode, only liability insurance and I get a newer, nicer car and extra money. God damn, I am the best legal con artist on the face of the Earth and no I'm not telling you how I did it....but if you knew, you'd crack up.....
     
  29. WVUPharm2007

    WVUPharm2007 imagine sisyphus happy
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    Wow. I make it so people want their cars to explode. Huh.
     
  30. bananaface

    bananaface Pharmacy Supernerd
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    Donate your car in any shape for the tax credit? Hmm. That wouldn't get you cash back. But if you still have the car... :laugh:
     
  31. bananaface

    bananaface Pharmacy Supernerd
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    Was nikki in the lot when your car went up? I hear she's got the touch.
     
  32. WVUPharm2007

    WVUPharm2007 imagine sisyphus happy
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    WTF, was this thread posted somewhere else? Who the hell are these random people I've never seen before?
     
  33. bananaface

    bananaface Pharmacy Supernerd
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    I posted a link in the mod forum. You've been modernized. :smuggrin:
     
  34. Knipps

    Knipps In a 6 year program
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    That's crazy... I'm still in the process of selling my Camaro (with people interested, which amazes me with gas prices) and when my first one was totalled ( rear ended :() I got the money from my insurance and sold the car for 1800.. I made a nice profit :D

    Or you could try to sell it for scrap :laugh:
     
  35. OKgirl

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    The random walmart guy, supersoaker, and squirt gun pictures make that story so much better.
     
  36. WVUPharm2007

    WVUPharm2007 imagine sisyphus happy
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    You like pictures? Ok.


    [​IMG]
     
  37. bananaface

    bananaface Pharmacy Supernerd
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    Nice monkeys.
     
  38. medicalCPA

    medicalCPA Actually, it's medicalCPA, PhD now
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    Thank you for making my evening.:laugh:
     
  39. firefighter9015

    firefighter9015 It's not THAT kind of study hour...
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    This is off topic of exploding cars, but what kind of camaro (year, engine, setup, etc, etc) are you trying to sell?
     
  40. WVUPharm2007

    WVUPharm2007 imagine sisyphus happy
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    Bonus points if you can name all four monkeys.
     
  41. bananaface

    bananaface Pharmacy Supernerd
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    Donkey Kong, Curious George, Evil Monkey (Family Guy) and the last is Krusty's sidekick from the Simpsons. I had to Google his name. I won
    t post it though unless someone else wants to guess.
     
  42. Pharmcdc

    Pharmcdc Troches & lollipops
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    Ok, you beat me.....but you didnt actually list the monkey from the simpsons name which I believe was Mr. Teeny. So its Donkey Kong, Curious George, Evil Monkey, and Mr. Teeny.:hardy:
     
  43. bananaface

    bananaface Pharmacy Supernerd
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    I wonder what you can get with your bonus points. Maybe a car?
     
  44. All4MyDaughter

    All4MyDaughter SDN Mommystrator
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    I just tried to play Donkey Kong online and got pwned. :(
     
  45. 117296

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    I am surprised that you didn't use some of your BAJILLIONS of D&B points on a new car.:laugh:

    +1 to the bash on Sam's Club
    +4 to the monkeys
    +0.5 to your toboggan. (+1 for the beanie, -0.5 for calling it a toboggan.)
    +1 for the Copy and paste function used to create your "audience"
    +5 for making yourself twice as big as the fireman and the crazy nascar guy
    +1,000 for the bash on all the hicks out there by using the crazy nascar guy
    +1 for roasting a hot dog with a bun on a sword.

    +1,012.5= Very entertaining.

    Unfortunately, this game is like "Whose line is it anyway," where the points don't matter.

    @Bananaface: I always wondered what modernization was like:laugh:
     
  46. WVUPharm2007

    WVUPharm2007 imagine sisyphus happy
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    I wonder how many it would take....in theory. I've already taken home like their 3 biggest valued items. The largest being the Playstation 3. I wouldn't mind a nice stereo system or something. I actually only have like 50,000 points right now, anyway.

    It's not really a bash as much as it's just sad....

    I just wish I knew more cartoon monkeys...

    This is Appalachia, son. Once you enter the state, it's a tobaggan. Period. That's not my rule, it's the governor's. Take it up with him and the state senate.

    Indeed. I gots the mad Paint skills. Sure, I could use GIMP or my pirated version of Photoshop....but that's just not as fun.....

    That's PERSPECTIVE. I'm closer to the viewpoint. I'm also just that much more awesome. Maybe points for nonsensically running diagonally away from the store towards the fire as my car is burning to arrive at said position...

    Hmmmm. I think this one is too overrated. 1000? I have a stick fireman viciously beating a car and the receipt checker guy mocking the greatness of the blaze.

    AH HA! You don't get that one, do you? Or maybe you do if you think about it. It refers to one of my favorite things to watch when I'm doing the insomnia thing on the weekends at about 3AM.

    I got hosed. How many points to win a car?

    Crap. Nevermind.
     
    #46 WVUPharm2007, Jun 4, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2008
  47. bananaface

    bananaface Pharmacy Supernerd
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    I would have called it a knit cap.
     
  48. Twins fan

    Twins fan Aspiring Rock Star
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    Canadians call them "toques" instead of toboggans. Pronounced like the word 'spook' only with a t at the beginning. I call Canadians silly:p

    Having grown up in Minnesota where you actually have to wear the darn things, we always just called them stocking caps or hats. Pretty boring, but makes a lot more sense than calling them toboggans. Come on West Virginians, a toboggan is something you ride down a snow covered hill!

    But seriously, great depiction of the scene of the explosion WVU:thumbup:
     
  49. OKgirl

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    If it makes you feel any better, I caught my microwave on fire this weekend.
     
  50. pharmpilot

    pharmpilot P1! And surviving!
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    Ahhh, but do you have pictures and will you make money buying a new one???
     

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