My story....your help would be appreciated

[Iwtbatsitned]

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Hi Everyone,

This is my first real post and would really like if anyone can give me advice. This network has been the best thing that has happened to me. So here is my situation. I decided I wanted to pursue dentistry two years ago. I did not get in last year with an AA of 17, retook the dat, rushed into and my second score was not good either. So basically I had been rejected from every single school I applied to.

I come from a family where women are pressured to get married and be settled as soon as they graduate. I am 26 now and want to continue pursuing further education. Both of my parents due to financial reasons did not attend college, however all my siblings and I have our bachelor's degree, but they are not willing to support me anymore emotionally and phsycially. They keep telling me how I am too old to be applying to dental school and its unfortunate that most of their friends are not so broad minded either. They think I am wasting my time and should just do my Master's because they do not have 5 years and keep complaining about how other women in the family are married. My parents are great in a sense that they have provided me with everything I needed so far but its my age that is getting to them. In my culture, a female 26 years old should at least be settled into marriage.

I changed my DAT test date three times b/c of issues at home and have a hard time focusing. I understand we all have our struggles but I am in need for some encouragement. I have a business degree and my GPA was not so bright because I never enjoyed the classes I took. I went back to school and took all of my pre-reqs and my sGPA is above a 3.5. I am very interested in what I am doing now and want to continue my focus and attention to dentistry.

Right now I am in a position where they are not providing me any more money and since I had been taking classes I did not work and it is unfortunate that they have decided to not support my decision anymore. I want to take more upper division classes but do not how or even what to do about paying for classes, working nothing. If anyone has been in a situation like me please please please tell me what I can do so that I can pursue my dreams of becoming a dentist. I am determined to succeed but do not know what will happen next.

Thank you for your time people

 

[Shunwei]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first real post and would really like if anyone can give me advice. This network has been the best thing that has happened to me. So here is my situation. I decided I wanted to pursue dentistry two years ago. I did not get in last year with an AA of 17, retook the dat, rushed into and my second score was not good either. So basically I had been rejected from every single school I applied to.

I come from a family where women are pressured to get married and be settled as soon as they graduate. I am 26 now and want to continue pursuing further education. Both of my parents due to financial reasons did not attend college, however all my siblings and I have our bachelor's degree, but they are not willing to support me anymore emotionally and phsycially. They keep telling me how I am too old to be applying to dental school and its unfortunate that most of their friends are not so broad minded either. They think I am wasting my time and should just do my Master's because they do not have 5 years and keep complaining about how other women in the family are married. My parents are great in a sense that they have provided me with everything I needed so far but its my age that is getting to them. In my culture, a female 26 years old should at least be settled into marriage.

I changed my DAT test date three times b/c of issues at home and have a hard time focusing. I understand we all have our struggles but I am in need for some encouragement. I have a business degree and my GPA was not so bright because I never enjoyed the classes I took. I went back to school and took all of my pre-reqs and my sGPA is above a 3.5. I am very interested in what I am doing now and want to continue my focus and attention to dentistry.

Right now I am in a position where they are not providing me any more money and since I had been taking classes I did not work and it is unfortunate that they have decided to not support my decision anymore. I want to take more upper division classes but do not how or even what to do about paying for classes, working nothing. If anyone has been in a situation like me please please please tell me what I can do so that I can pursue my dreams of becoming a dentist. I am determined to succeed but do not know what will happen next.

Thank you for your time people

Let's me guess-you are Asian and probably of Korean heritage?

In your situation, you gotta fight for yourself. Think about taking the DAT again, find any sort of job in the meantime to get by, and don't worry at all about your parents. Your stats, in all honesty, are average (average GPA + average DAT). You really need to rock the DAT to get into a school, and you need to take it ASAP.

 

[airsimon]

OK after contemplating for a few minutes I think I have found a solution for all of your problems. We can kill a few birds with one stone.
I don't want to sound offensive but marriage may be your answer. It would make your family happy. Marry a rich dude who will pay to put you through school and there goes your financial worries.
There you have it. Simple and to the point. In the end, we are eliminating a lot of problems with one simple action!
You're welcome.

 

[Shunwei]

OK after contemplating for a few minutes I think I have found a solution for all of your problems. We can kill a few birds with one stone.
I don't want to sound offensive but marriage may be your answer. It would make your family happy. Marry a rich dude who will pay to put you through school and there goes your financial worries.
There you have it. Simple and to the point. In the end, we are eliminating a lot of problems with one simple action!
You're welcome.

😀 Good suggestion Simon. It does solve all problems at one fell swoop, does n't it?

 

[Iwtbatsitned]

Simon it could solve all problems according to you and others, but what about my happiness? If my marriage turns out to be horrible, where would I go next? Thats one more problem added to my list. I could find rich and get married but I do not think the easy way is always the best way. I have a boyfriend and he is great but he is trying to get into Med school and I do not expect him to financially support me since he has his goals and dreams...I am not that selfish...But I agree you do have a point.

 

[Yahmasta19]

You are in pretty bad situation. I will suggest you not to get married. As you said happiness is what matters. Money is the issue not only for you but for a lot of us in this growing dental field. If i were you i would consider the Air-force not the Army but the Air-force or maybe the Navy. You can be either reserve or active. I can tell you from personal experience. I was a Dental Technician for 5 years in the Navy i joint after high school. But, the point is that now i am in Florida International University having the Navy paid for it. I can tell you that the Navy was NOT easy. You had to work hard. But, if you already have a degree YOU can probably become an OFFICER which you can support your self pretty good. I am not a recruiter. If you really need money as i did because my parents didn't have anything. I will suggest you to RESEARCH the opportunities of the Air-force or the Navy. Avoid becoming an enlisted because life as enlisted SUCKS!!

Also, always helps to be positive.

 

[z3u2]

i feel sorry to hear your situation

are your parents not willing to support you financially, or cannot support you financially?
If it's later case, you really have no choice but got to find ways to support yourself. If it's the first case, then it is possible that you can convince them about it, or get a loan from them and promise to return later.

i think airsimon was just joking about the marriage...
i assume in ur culture, once you are married, you are settled? There's no way you can continue studying, especially considering you may have to move to attend dental school?

I know there will be people who say "don't care about your parents, fight for your dream".
But sometimes things are not that easy.
Your career is a lifelong thing, but so are ur family/parents.
You wouldn't want to ruin one just so you can get the other.

 

[z3u2]

You are in pretty bad situation. I will suggest you not to get married. As you said happiness is what matters. Money is the issue not only for you but for a lot of us in this growing dental field. If i were you i would consider the Air-force not the Army but the Air-force or maybe the Navy. You can be either reserve or active. I can tell you from personal experience. I was a Dental Technician for 5 years in the Navy i joint after high school. But, the point is that now i am in Florida International University having the Navy paid for it. I can tell you that the Navy was NOT easy. You had to work hard. But, if you already have a degree YOU can probably become an OFFICER which you can support your self pretty good. I am not a recruiter. If you really need money as i did because my parents didn't have anything. I will suggest you to RESEARCH the opportunities of the Air-force or the Navy. Avoid becoming an enlisted because life as enlisted SUCKS!!

Also, always helps to be positive.

just curious
what kind of salary does air force/navy provide? For new grad? And for people with <5 year and >10 year experience? Juat an average/range number is fine.

 

[Yahmasta19]

It all depends what type of degree you have. Also, it depends on the field that your degree is on and what programs can you apply for. You should check it out with a good recruiter. I will tell you that from what i have seen as an enlisted. Those who have a degree officers of course. Make pretty good money. I will say 50K a year. I mean if you are a dentist and join the navy after dental school you will probably make around 70K plus i believe the navy was offering 40k bonus for new dentist. At least that was a year ago. You have to research on that because i was an enlisted not an officer. I cannot tell you from the officer position, because i really didn't know much of their salaries. But, I know they make around the same or a little more what they would make if they were civilians.





Good things comes out of hard work!

 

[purplemonkey]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

I would expect most people don't have their parent's financial support for dental school and have to get loans or whatever. I think it's actually a good thing if your parents don't support you financially at this point in your life.

It sounds to me like the real problem is the lack of emotional support from them. I don't know your parents, but maybe once you get in, they'll be more supportive. Otherwise, you really only have two options: give in to your parents or suck it up.

 

[Heavenly4505]

I am a 29 year old student with a husband and 2 very young children: 3 years and 2 years. I have no parents (both are deceased) and my inlaws are about the least supportive people on the planet. My husband and I both are full-time students. We manage by taking out loans, working part-time jobs doing whatever we can (babysitting, fast food, etc)., and being very careful with our finances. Of course, since we have children, we do get a little government assistance. We have NO help from anyone else and have kids to boot. I have taken a Dental Assisting course and know from experience that offices are always looking to hire assistants. Maybe you could try that route, if nothing else part-time. Another option is to apply for Work Study through your college. Fill out a FAFSA for financial aid. You probably qualify for something since you have no financial help. Tell the school you are interested in work-study. It doesn't pay great, but it's better than nothing. A lot of fast-food and stores are willing to work around school schedules. When you actually get in to dental school, you will most likely live off loans. Most students do. Hope this helps.

 

[lgwdnbdgr]

If I understand your post, you have a sGPA of 3.5, but a lower cGPA (how much lower?) a business degree (bachelors?) and a DAT AA of 17.

It sounds like your overall GPA and your recent GPA are conflicting -- you did poorly when you were younger taking those business classes and did well recently taking science classes. The AdComms have to make a decision -- which GPA is truly reflective of your ability. That 17 AA on the DAT probably leads them to believe that your older (lower) GPA better reflects your true ability and you just found easy graders in your more recent classes.

If I were in your shoes, I'd do everything I could to get those DAT scores up as high as you possibly can. Now, the schools have two pieces of data suggesting you are a good student and only one that you aren't. Do whatever it takes at home to keep your family off your back so you can study, study, study. (Except marriage! It should be obvious, but don't get married just to please your family!)

Once you are accepted, find other women at your age to show your family that you are not "too old" for dental school. Hopefully, they'll accept your decision (although they may not be happy about it). Worst case scenario, you start school without their acceptance. It's a lot harder, but you can get the money to fund dental school -- banks know you'll be good for it, so you can pretty much borrow as much as you want. Yeah, private loans have higher interest rates, which is why you should do everything you can to get your parents to help, but it isn't the end of the world.

Ultimately, they are making your life miserable because they care about you and think they are helping. They probably won't "disown" you or anything over going to dental school -- they'll be angry that you are "wasting your life" and you'll "never find a man," but they'll still love you and eventually come around when they finally realize how much better off you are.

 

[wnnr1119]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first real post and would really like if anyone can give me advice. This network has been the best thing that has happened to me. So here is my situation. I decided I wanted to pursue dentistry two years ago. I did not get in last year with an AA of 17, retook the dat, rushed into and my second score was not good either. So basically I had been rejected from every single school I applied to.

I come from a family where women are pressured to get married and be settled as soon as they graduate. I am 26 now and want to continue pursuing further education. Both of my parents due to financial reasons did not attend college, however all my siblings and I have our bachelor's degree, but they are not willing to support me anymore emotionally and phsycially. They keep telling me how I am too old to be applying to dental school and its unfortunate that most of their friends are not so broad minded either. They think I am wasting my time and should just do my Master's because they do not have 5 years and keep complaining about how other women in the family are married. My parents are great in a sense that they have provided me with everything I needed so far but its my age that is getting to them. In my culture, a female 26 years old should at least be settled into marriage.

I changed my DAT test date three times b/c of issues at home and have a hard time focusing. I understand we all have our struggles but I am in need for some encouragement. I have a business degree and my GPA was not so bright because I never enjoyed the classes I took. I went back to school and took all of my pre-reqs and my sGPA is above a 3.5. I am very interested in what I am doing now and want to continue my focus and attention to dentistry.

Right now I am in a position where they are not providing me any more money and since I had been taking classes I did not work and it is unfortunate that they have decided to not support my decision anymore. I want to take more upper division classes but do not how or even what to do about paying for classes, working nothing. If anyone has been in a situation like me please please please tell me what I can do so that I can pursue my dreams of becoming a dentist. I am determined to succeed but do not know what will happen next.

Thank you for your time people

Hello. I am interested in reading your post. I understand your situation, but I wonder how people in SDN could help you. As you said, you are 26 years old woman and are already grown up. You don't have to do anything what your parents want. If you want to be a dentist, just go for it. Age is not a big issue what you become a dentist. Another trouble like financial aid you can solve unless you are an international statue. Share your problem with your boyfriend. That might help you emotionally. Life is short, and you should try to avoid anything that you will regret such as not becoming an dentist. Best luck to you.

 

[wnnr1119]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first real post and would really like if anyone can give me advice. This network has been the best thing that has happened to me. So here is my situation. I decided I wanted to pursue dentistry two years ago. I did not get in last year with an AA of 17, retook the dat, rushed into and my second score was not good either. So basically I had been rejected from every single school I applied to.

I come from a family where women are pressured to get married and be settled as soon as they graduate. I am 26 now and want to continue pursuing further education. Both of my parents due to financial reasons did not attend college, however all my siblings and I have our bachelor's degree, but they are not willing to support me anymore emotionally and phsycially. They keep telling me how I am too old to be applying to dental school and its unfortunate that most of their friends are not so broad minded either. They think I am wasting my time and should just do my Master's because they do not have 5 years and keep complaining about how other women in the family are married. My parents are great in a sense that they have provided me with everything I needed so far but its my age that is getting to them. In my culture, a female 26 years old should at least be settled into marriage.

I changed my DAT test date three times b/c of issues at home and have a hard time focusing. I understand we all have our struggles but I am in need for some encouragement. I have a business degree and my GPA was not so bright because I never enjoyed the classes I took. I went back to school and took all of my pre-reqs and my sGPA is above a 3.5. I am very interested in what I am doing now and want to continue my focus and attention to dentistry.

Right now I am in a position where they are not providing me any more money and since I had been taking classes I did not work and it is unfortunate that they have decided to not support my decision anymore. I want to take more upper division classes but do not how or even what to do about paying for classes, working nothing. If anyone has been in a situation like me please please please tell me what I can do so that I can pursue my dreams of becoming a dentist. I am determined to succeed but do not know what will happen next.

Thank you for your time people

Hello. I am interested in reading your post. I understand your situation, but I wonder who might give you an advice. As you said, You are 26 years old woman and are already grown up. You don't have to do anything what your parents want. If you want to be a dentist, just go for it. Age is not a big issue what you become a dentist. Another trouble like financial aid you can solve unless you are an international statue. Share your problem with your boyfriend. Life is short, and you should try to avoid anything that you will regret not being an dentist. Best luck to you.

 

[red88m]

Take out loans to pay for school and get a part time job. You can pay them off when you're a dentist. That's what I'm doing.

 

[KoiMan]

Your family emotional and financial support are very important but its something you can do without if you have no other options. First ask yourself, Is this all worth it to you? then if it is, take every step to reach that goal. As far as the financial aspect of your education, you do not have to worry. There are so many scholarships and financial aid available at your school, look into that. Everybody get loans, and dental education will cost a hole in your pocket (100-250K) but think of it as an investment for your future. You will get your investment back and more when you get out of school. Once you get into D-school, your parents will start to see you in a new light and things will start to change realizing that their daughter is in fact going to be a Dentist 🙂. On another note, you might find that "somebody" special in school and you can make yourself and your parents happy!

 

[fancymylotus]

Hey,it could be worse-you could be 22 and your parents could be actively trying to marry you off before dental school even starts😱

 

[Iwtbatsitned]

Maybe I did not make myself clear. The problem is in my family there are too many double standards. I have had jobs, and I know I can get financial aid, I think I know that I am 26 and an adult but its unfortunate that they keep giving my brother money because he is a guy. My father has money its not that our family cannot afford it. He gives big donations to so and so event but doesn't charity begin at home. He is helping so and so person, but hello what about me. Thats when my heart burns. I do not think I have a problem working hard because I always have. Its just that my family's actions are not justified. Well besides all this, I appreciate everyones feedback. We all have our share of problems and now I have to just focus and concentrate on how I can reach my goals without getting so emotionally involved in my family's drama. I know what I want in life and life is too short so I will do what it takes to accomplish my goals. We all have our stories right? Thanks again future dentists. Good luck to all.