No friends in medical school - is it OK to be a loner?

[Priapism4tooLong]

Don't feel sad, I only made like 2 or 3 semi friends in med school and I pretty lost most contact with the few I sort of made. It was depressing to never have 1 penny to even buy a sandwich whereas almost everyone else had an endless free line of credit from mommy or daddy and could afford to pay 300 dollars a week to get drunk at a trendy night club. Some of the people I got along better with were of the few oddballs that actually had real part-time jobs they did in their free time and I could relate to them better because they didn't grow up in a 90210 type lifestyle of endless commodity.

Once I started my internship year things got a lot better because I was exposed to med students from public schools who weren't preppy, most of them still only found the concept of going to bars to be fun but were more open to hang around doing other less expensive things. Now that I make some bank I still don't go out often because most people still prefer bar hopping as the only source of life entertainment. I do go to bars with my SO every now and then, but otherwise I prefer to spend my free time doing tourism.

Maybe you should organize a guys night at your place with Xbox and Halo or something. I'm pretty sure you will have a lot of male buddies that would be interested.

Koreans don't play halo, they play starcraft.

And medicine is a field where you have to interact with people, try to make friends

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[evilbooyaa]

It disturbs me how the Derm residents at our hospital are almost universally attractive women. Beauty and brains haha, it would seem that the Lord showers all his blessings upon some of us.

Gotta have a flawless complexion to get into derm.

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

Gotta have a flawless complexion to get into derm.

I would actually say I know a number of people with a very bad history of acne who go into derm.

 

[evilbooyaa]

I would actually say I know a number of people with a very bad history of acne who go into derm.

Maybe that's where they got the interest, but did they still have acne when they matched derm?

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

Maybe that's where they got the interest, but did they still have acne when they matched derm?

I'm talking like Tommy Lee Jones looking kind of people...probably is where the interest came from.

 

[FIREitUP]

Beauty yes
Brains (maybe more brute force and effective learning techniques)
If you've seen the movie, Election, which that picture is referring to Reese Witherspoon's character is quite interesting, to say the least.

one thing i've noticed about derm residents is not their intellectual prowess, but the fact that they are kind of normal people. i think that helps

 

[evilbooyaa]

I'm talking like Tommy Lee Jones looking kind of people...probably is where the interest came from.

Who wouldn't want this stud getting up close and personal

 

[LostinLift]

Who wouldn't want this stud getting up close and personal

Give the man a bit more credit

 

[DermViser]

one thing i've noticed about derm residents is not their intellectual prowess, but the fact that they are kind of normal people. i think that helps

I think it depends on the program too. If you look at many derm residents CVs, they've accomplished quite a lot outside of just good academics (even more than some derm faculty when they were at the same stage in their medical career).

 

[Anastomoses]

Tracy Flick!

DermViser, do you stalk my posts? Be honest.

 

[DermViser]

I'm talking like Tommy Lee Jones looking kind of people...probably is where the interest came from.

Very true. Usually the ones that have severe cystic/nodulocystic acne leaving behind scars, who do. It definitely has an impact on them emotionally during childhood, hence the connection with Derm.

 

[Psai]

Tracy Flick!

DermViser, do you stalk my posts? Be honest.

You are very narcissistic. Dermviser is on a ton of different boards, I see his posts everywhere.

 

[evilbooyaa]

Tracy Flick!

DermViser, do you stalk my posts? Be honest.

So. Full. Of. Yourself.

 

[DermViser]

Tracy Flick!

DermViser, do you stalk my posts? Be honest.

Um, no. Election is quite a well known movie (I realize this is SDN where everyone studies 24/7 with no breaks whatsoever, so I realize this may be a crowd that doesn't watch movies for fun. OMG!). Everyone I know, knows Tracy Flick's character.

 

[Serous Demilune]

Give the man a bit more credit

View attachment 180137

And we JUST covered acromegaly in endocrine. Small world.

 

[Anastomoses]

Um, no. Election is quite a well known movie (I realize this is SDN where everyone studies 24/7 with no breaks whatsoever, so I realize this may be a crowd that doesn't watch movies for fun. OMG!). Everyone I know, knows Tracy Flick's character.

You know that's not what I meant. Interesting how you found this thread. You know, old as it is.

Election is great!

You are very narcissistic. Dermviser is on a ton of different boards, I see his posts everywhere.

So. Full. Of. Yourself.

You....and you. Stfu when you don't know what you're talking about.

 

[DermViser]

That's the thing I never, ever understood. That being quiet = stuck up. I've heard that elsewhere that people have this assumption, and I can't fathom a reason how that can be possible.

More often it's being quiet = weird or incompetent, etc. hence resulting in bad evaluations.

 

[DermViser]

You know that's not what I meant. Interesting how you found this thread. You know, old as it is.

Election is great!

This thread keeps bumping up to the front, so it's hardly old. And yes, Election is hilarious. Tracy Flick is your prototypical medical school gunner (except in high school).

Edit: Oops, didn't realize your Tracy Flick post was from Oct. 2013. My bad.

 

[Psai]

You....and you. Stfu when you don't know what you're talking about.

You're really good at dispensing advice that you don't take yourself.

 

[RooibosTea]

I really appreciate this thread.

 

[Brain Bucket]

Give the man a bit more credit

View attachment 180137

I actually thought that was Chael Sonnen.

 

[NontradCA]

A good smiles goes a long way.

 

[Arkangeloid]

Yet another school bar event night, I swear these things are more depressing than exams. Everyone looks so happy, and it seems like half the class has mated with each other by now lol. I get so sad and lonely at these things, so I left early haha.

 

[Anastomoses]

Yet another school bar event night, I swear these things are more depressing than exams. Everyone looks so happy, and it seems like half the class has mated with each other by now lol. I get so sad and lonely at these things, so I left early haha.

I was sharing some of your posts with my cousin and he said "what kind of doctor is this guy gonna be? Make sure he doesn't blow a gasket and shoot up the school."

 

[Serous Demilune]

I was sharing some of your posts with my cousin and he said "what kind of doctor is this guy gonna be? Make sure he doesn't blow a gasket and shoot up the school."

C'mon you're too hard on him. It's really tough to be in a room full of happy people when you're feeling down.

 

[Arkangeloid]

I was sharing some of your posts with my cousin and he said "what kind of doctor is this guy gonna be? Make sure he doesn't blow a gasket and shoot up the school."

I suppose your cousin must be an expert on determining what makes a good physician.

Regardless, I won't be sad and lonely for long once I get out of medical school. As I mentioned before, my parents plan to arrange my marriage when I'm a PGY-2.

 

[username456789]

I suppose your cousin must be an expert on determining what makes a good physician.

Regardless, I won't be sad and lonely for long once I get out of medical school. As I mentioned before, my parents plan to arrange my marriage when I'm a PGY-2.

It seems more likely that this will simply be the beginning of a whole new set of problems for you.

Don't expect that your world view will suddenly change due to something like that. Work on improving you first.

 

[Arkangeloid]

It seems more likely that this will simply be the beginning of a whole new set of problems for you.

Don't expect that your world view will suddenly change due to something like that. Work on improving you first.

Yeah, I'm trying. I'm back in the gym, and I'm forcing myself to go out to these bar events. It's a chore on both ends though. Last night, I was happiest when I got back home and grinded my Templar in Path of Exile.

I don't think my life suddenly be happy after marriage, but at least some big things that are missing in my life (sexuality and companionship) won't be missing anymore.

 

[Brain Bucket]

Yeah, I'm trying. I'm back in the gym, and I'm forcing myself to go out to these bar events. It's a chore on both ends though. Last night, I was happiest when I got back home and grinded my Templar in Path of Exile.

I don't think my life suddenly be happy after marriage, but at least some big things that are missing in my life (sexuality and companionship) won't be missing anymore.

We keep kicking this dead horse. Not much is going to change for the better in the long term unless you can learn to like yourself. Weight aside (it's a great idea to lose it, but it won't solve everything), you need to work towards becoming someone whose company you would enjoy.

 

[WhippleWhileWeWork]

Yeah, I'm trying. I'm back in the gym, and I'm forcing myself to go out to these bar events. It's a chore on both ends though. Last night, I was happiest when I got back home and grinded my Templar in Path of Exile.

I don't think my life suddenly be happy after marriage, but at least some big things that are missing in my life (sexuality and companionship) won't be missing anymore.

Have you read the book "Quiet"? It might help you understand yourself on a few levels. You have some pretty typical introvert markers according to the posts that I've seen from you here.

 

[Arkangeloid]

We keep kicking this dead horse. Not much is going to change for the better in the long term unless you can learn to like yourself. Weight aside (it's a great idea to lose it, but it won't solve everything), you need to work towards becoming someone whose company you would enjoy.

Right. But how should I go about becoming that person?

 

[circulus vitios]

Yet another school bar event night, I swear these things are more depressing than exams. Everyone looks so happy, and it seems like half the class has mated with each other by now lol. I get so sad and lonely at these things, so I left early haha.

 

[Brain Bucket]

Right. But how should I go about becoming that person?

Different for everyone. A psychiatrist would be a good place to start.

Just think about an imaginary person who you'd like to spend a lot of your time with...and then slowly become that person. You'll find that this person will change over time - as you grow, so will this person. This is perfectly normal. We have different truths in different stages in our lives, but they are all equally valid. It takes time and work, but totally worth it. It is a process that lasts your entire life. It's easy to start with people who make you feel good to be around them. Pick out the qualities in them that you admire and start emulating those qualities. I'm going to paraphrase here 'The person you spend the most time with is yourself, so it behooves you to become the most interesting person you can be.'

 

[DermViser]

Yet another school bar event night, I swear these things are more depressing than exams. Everyone looks so happy, and it seems like half the class has mated with each other by now lol. I get so sad and lonely at these things, so I left early haha.

I'm sure not everyone is like that. Exams can be stressful. It's much better than studying.

 

[Toadesque]

No offense but it sounds like you need to get out of your comfort zone. It sounds like you don't want to make an effort to get to know new people and just want to find more of the same

 

[Hawaiianhost1]

I was in a similar boat. For me, the first two years SUCKED. It seemed like everyone already formed their own cliques within the first week of orientation, and I just didn't see myself fitting in with any of them. Like you, I also had a group of really close friends before med school. But no one in my class seemed to have much in common with me. Also, I would rather spend what little free time I had with my fiance then any of my other classmates. So that didn't really help with friend-making.

Anyway, I'm telling you that it's going to be FINE. I spent the first two years as a loner and it was definitely not fun. It's hard to make friends when you're so focused on studying and you don't like the bar scene. It's the worst feeling when you see the same people every day but never really get to be close with them. But when you get into third year, you are sort of forced to interact with more of your classmates, and you get to work with people you normally wouldn't have talked to. Now that I'm at the end of third year, I've developed close friendships with people that I never even talked to during the first two years.

So, the point is...don't stress. A lot of people have been through what you are going through. Your clinical years will hopefully be better. And if it's not, then that's okay too. By 3rd year, you'll be done with the roughest parts of med school...and you'll have a lot more time to hang out with your non-med school friends.

 

[Psai]

There's a lot of talk about cliques but it might be that you haven't had enough interaction with your classmates. There are groups that are exclusive for sure but most people are pretty chill and are open to being friends. You won't be best friends with everyone but it's not like high school where the girls won't talk to you because you have too much acne or because someone made up a rumor about you being a slut.

 

[spicysoup55]

Have you guys found that your friends changed throughout med school? Esp as you transition from pre-clinical to the clinical years?

 

[Psai]

Have you guys found that your friends changed throughout med school? Esp as you transition from pre-clinical to the clinical years?

Not really but i have found that sone people are really great from working with them and others that I liked before were so annoying that I don't talk to them anymore

 

[charmiedermie]

Have you guys found that your friends changed throughout med school? Esp as you transition from pre-clinical to the clinical years?

Nope, not really after second year.

 

[Gorne]

Some of you people sound incredibly boring. You do realize that going out to a bar with your classmates doesn't mean you have to dance, inebriate yourself, and act like an ass?

 

[touchpause13]

Oh, this thread.

Seriously, friends are important for med school. I be completely ****ed without them.

 

[touchpause13]

Some of you people sound incredibly boring. You do realize that going out to a bar with your classmates doesn't mean you have to dance, inebriate yourself, and act like an ass?

What's the point then?

 

[KnuxNole]

Some people don't like bars. I only go to drink. It's impossible to hold conversations there, since I have the softest voice you'll hear, so I never talk when I'm there.. Sometimes it's fun to watch sports with people, or play pools. Mostly, it's way better to be at a house party with friends that you know vs. strangers that you never want to talk to(since whenever I go to bars, I only stick with my friends.)

 

[Hyde]

If you want to make a case study of this, look at George Clooney. That guy is the man of all men. Extremely intelligent, classy, well-read,.

Where do you get George Clooney being extremely intelligent and well read? Huh? He's a handsome Hollywood hairdo who gets involved in pseudo "causes". Would GC be able to find Darfur on a map without help from his agent?

 

[deleted500612]

Some people don't like bars. I only go to drink. It's impossible to hold conversations there, since I have the softest voice you'll hear, so I never talk when I'm there.. Sometimes it's fun to watch sports with people, or play pools. Mostly, it's way better to be at a house party with friends that you know vs. strangers that you never want to talk to(since whenever I go to bars, I only stick with my friends.)

Totally second this. Not a fan of the bar scene whatsoever. Great way to blow your wallet and not be able to actually hold a conversation with anyone due to music playing so loud your ears ring when you leave. Compare that to an evening at a house party with friends... good conversations, cheap booze, games or whatever you're into. Not even a comparison. Bar is only good for people who are looking for casual hook ups and/or like to dance. And in this day and age, if you're a guy who goes home with a girl after the bar you are just asking to get expelled anyways.

 

[Hyde]

And in this day and age, if you're a guy who goes home with a girl after the bar you are just asking to get expelled anyways.

This.

 

[deleted500612]

I don't even know why I get surprised by the MRA/TRP bulls*** on this place anymore.

Uhh? In what world does stating a simple fact about most current school policies without any sort of opinionated analysis attached to it whatsoever constitute "MRA bullsh*t". Someone has a lot of misplaced angst.

 

[KnuxNole]

I do like sports bars...but a lot of places are SOOO loud! It's like damn, I have to learn sign language up in here. BasicAlly, I don't think I can utter one sentence when I'm there, unless there is a quieter section of the place. It takes me 5 minutes to order a drink, haha.

 

[touchpause13]

It's hardly a "simple fact". It's paranoia based on literally one case, that the MRA crowd loves to hold up as an example of how poor men are made victims at every turn.

For anyone with a half a brain and reasonable social skills, there is nothing to worry about...But listening to the typical SDN misanthropes, you can't even go out to a bar without risking a false rape allegation.

BUT WHAT ABOUT TEH MENZ???