Non Traditional Route on purpose?

[Sociopath]

Well first off I am a traditional college student, 19 finished freshman year.

Basically I need advice because I've lost three days of sleep and no solution to my somewhat unique problem. Here is my situation (long read):

I am the oldest of four sons my mother is a house wife, dad main provider I have a full scholarship to a 4 year university, unfortunately my father over the years of working has damaged a nerve in his leg and is now in chronic pain and is having trouble working. I'll be modest, we are poor and just getting by, and I worked hard for my scholarship so I'm not a burden on my parents.

Unfortunately with my father unable to work this has forced me to take over the family responsibility, I am an aspiring pre-med but lets face it by the time I get out of this process (years from now) I don't know where my family will stand it would be to selfish of me to say tough luck you're on your own.

So I thought I should become a nurse (RN), I get patient exposure while making a living, I'm compassionate and get to "help people". But I can't seem to let go of my dreams, what if I can't make it back on route later in life? What if I get busy or I no longer have the patience for scut work in pre-med. Even if I pushed through and became a doctor what if Obamas healthcare plan cut physician salaries to the point where the years invested in the process seems like a waste? I've been poor (really broke) my whole life I'd like to let my parents and brothers experience a comfortable lifestyle later on and help my folks retire.

Since I'm the first child (everyone knows the test child ) my brother is capitalizing on my mistakes and he too is a aspiring physician (in highschool planning on B.A - M.D program) where as I decided on a career much later.
Maybe he can help later? But I feel ashamed on being a male nurse, will anyone take me seriously? My brothers are laughing at me (ungratefull jerks ) when I mentioned the idea will everyone else do the same? I would also like to have a family of my own (as antisocial as I am ) but how will my kids or wife feel me being a male nurse? My father will push through a few years till I graduate but I need to know asap to change my classes for fall 2009.

If anyone has advice, websites, anything PM or post please I don't care how brutal it sounds I need solid advice you guys have wisdom impart it please. We only get one shot at life I'd like to do something right.

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[sindadel]

I did the non-trad route on purpose because I decided to have my family first and then go to med school. I'm 32, have 3 kids and am starting school this summer.

I also know male nurses. They are awesome guys and I have never seen the slightest sign that people don't take them seriously. It does sound like in your family circle though that this perception may cause you some issues. Since nursing is not your calling, this may not be worth putting up with.

Also, nursing is a different career from being a physician - and it is my understanding that the nursing science classes will not count towards your med school prereqs. Maybe you should do your degree in something else marketable that you enjoy and rely on hospital volunteering/physician shadowing to get you clinical exposure for the application process.

The most important thing of all is to maintain high grades throughout. If the family situation is putting a lot of stress on you, it might be a good idea to take a leave of absence (provided you can keep your scholarship) and work for a year in order to give your family a bit more of a financial cushion. Also, I urge you to discuss the situation with your parents. Working together as a family, you may become aware of more options than you can think of by yourself.

Take care - this sounds like a difficult time for you.

 

[medicsb]

Awwww, so cute, someone who still thinks that nursing may not be a "man's job". Do you think teaching is a "woman's job", too? (I thought people had gotten away from that stereotype.)

Anyhow, I'll forgive you because you're still wet behind the ears.

1. Nursing pays out the ass and A LOT of men do it, and in healthcare nurses that are worth their weight in toilet paper generally get taken seriously whether male or female.
2. You parents would probably rather see you get through college and pursue your goals/dreams than bail on it, even if you were leaving school to help them.
3. If Obama's "healthcare reform" were to cut physician salaries, it would likely conincide with a drastic cut in medical school tuition. (But, who knows!?)

Stay in school - pursue your goals/dreams.

Well first off I am a traditional college student, 19 finished freshman year.

Basically I need advice because I've lost three days of sleep and no solution to my somewhat unique problem. Here is my situation (long read):

I am the oldest of four sons my mother is a house wife, dad main provider I have a full scholarship to a 4 year university, unfortunately my father over the years of working has damaged a nerve in his leg and is now in chronic pain and is having trouble working. I'll be modest, we are poor and just getting by, and I worked hard for my scholarship so I'm not a burden on my parents.

Unfortunately with my father unable to work this has forced me to take over the family responsibility, I am an aspiring pre-med but lets face it by the time I get out of this process (years from now) I don't know where my family will stand it would be to selfish of me to say tough luck you're on your own.

So I thought I should become a nurse (RN), I get patient exposure while making a living, I'm compassionate and get to "help people". But I can't seem to let go of my dreams, what if I can't make it back on route later in life? What if I get busy or I no longer have the patience for scut work in pre-med. Even if I pushed through and became a doctor what if Obamas healthcare plan cut physician salaries to the point where the years invested in the process seems like a waste? I've been poor (really broke) my whole life I'd like to let my parents and brothers experience a comfortable lifestyle later on and help my folks retire.

Since I'm the first child (everyone knows the test child ) my brother is capitalizing on my mistakes and he too is a aspiring physician (in highschool planning on B.A - M.D program) where as I decided on a career much later.
Maybe he can help later? But I feel ashamed on being a male nurse, will anyone take me seriously? My brothers are laughing at me (ungratefull jerks ) when I mentioned the idea will everyone else do the same? I would also like to have a family of my own (as antisocial as I am ) but how will my kids or wife feel me being a male nurse? My father will push through a few years till I graduate but I need to know asap to change my classes for fall 2009.

If anyone has advice, websites, anything PM or post please I don't care how brutal it sounds I need solid advice you guys have wisdom impart it please. We only get one shot at life I'd like to do something right.

 

[COMedic2Doc]

Ok, first you need to decide what is the most important to you and stick with it. It is not a selfish decision to become a Physician, far from the case unless you really believe that you'll make a ton of money as a Physician which I seriously doubt having read your post. Second, there are many ways to think through this and only you can make the right decision. Nursing is a completely different mindset from being a Physician, you will excel at one but not the other it is almost certain. Should you decide to pursue Nursing, do so because you want to, never let others define you or your dreams. You can become a Physician and support others if needed, any questions on becoming a Physician despite the odds read Gifted Hands (a book by a Pediatric Neurosurgeon who now encourages people to take the risk and follow their dreams), then read Take the Risk by the same author (Dr. Ben Carson). What is left is you deciding what is best for you. Your parents will not be disheartened if you decide to pursue Medicine, and they will survive. If you decided to become a Nurse, stop referring to old fashioned terms such as Male Nurse, there are several men in nursing now and are an asset to the field of Nursing. I wish you the best, and truly if Medicine is your calling then pursue Medicine, if not then determine your true calling. You have already observed the problems that health care faces, and there are more on the horizon as there are with any change in any system, so keep these in mind as well. Hope this helps, especially if I can help you stay on the path to your dreams and your heart's desire.

 

[mzblue]

I was in the same situation at age 19. I only had a mother who'd spent everything on me and at that point, she didn't have the money anymore. I didn't know how i was going to get through my junior year of college. Plus, she was living in poverty and finishing my undergrad as a bio major and going through med school woulda been the long route. I needed to find a way to make money quick and take care of my mom. My uncle, who's a nurse, convinced me that i can get to do what i want in nursing and that they're similar. (to tell you the truth, that's a lie. Nursing and medicine are not the same. If your passion is medicine, nursing isn't gonna cut it one bit.)
Anyway, i went through a co-op program where i could earn money on co-op to take care of my mom and my plan was to take the mcat in junior year, work for a year as a nurse and go to med school. Well, since i didn't have the pre-reqs for nursing like nutrition and blah, blah, blah when i changed majors in junior year, i was too busy taking 20-24credits a quarter and trying to keep 4.0 every semester that i didn't have time to study for the mcat. plus i was working full time during school and working 2 jobs when doing my co-op.
Long story short, after a year as a nursing major, i wanted to switch and go to back to being a bio major but i knew my mom would be upset. But i went on, graduated and i've been taking care of my mom. My plan was to get her comfortable before i go back to med school. I'm back on track now, trying to finish the few classes i didn't take and i'll be taking the MCAT soon. I'm 23, i feel old now cuz i've always been the youngest in my class(graduated high school at 16). thing is if you're young, you can jump into nursing and go back to med school. Just so you know, if you're a math and science oriented person like me, nursing school would be a whole new language for you. Some pre-meds i know who came to nursing got their grades tanked cuz it wasn't as easy as they thought. I went through a tough program and graduate summa cum laude. Just don't forget what your ultimate goal is - going to med school. Nursing has good money even a new grad, great hours and the opportunity cost of going to med school is really high but it really is all i want to do. I was the best student in my class and i have professors who tell me they'll fill out an application for me to go through a masters and i've thought, why not do a 2year crna program and make $260k a year like someone i know? I mean nursing school was a breeze. Thing is, nursing and medicine are not the same. It's just not me. I don't hate what i do now but i want more. I do love the patient interaction and i try to learn as much as i can now.

Just hold onto your dream and don't lose sight of it. For the record, no one mocks male nurses. You see a lot more guys in nursing now. If you just want to have patient interaction and "help people", nursing might cut it for you. I personally want to treat diseases. I picture myself in future working for doctors without borders or some other organization somewhere in a war torn country in africa treating casualties (yeah, i love trauma).
It's a very tough decision. Switching to nursing was the first time i put someone else's needs in front of mine. It did cost me time but my mom isn't living in poverty anymore. And if you look around the nontrad forum here, some people enter med school around 30 so at 23, i don't feel soo bad. Whatever choice you make, good luck with it.

 

[NTF]

Here are some thoughts about your situation:

1) Kudos to you for your dedication to your family
2) If your dad can't work, wouldn't he qualify for some kind of public assistance or disability? I'd try to contact your local social services and see what kind of programs are available for people in your dad's situation. Plus if your family is truly in poverty there all kind of state programs that can assist w/ groceries, utility bills, medical expenses, etc. Plus, any college kids will qualify for alot of state & federal grants.
3) Could your dad stay at home and tend to the house while your mom works? I knew a housewife at the hospital who got a job as a unit clerk at my university hospital. Her husband was disabled in an accident and she hadn't worked in 18 years, but with the university benefit package she got great healthcare for her family and tuition discounts for her kids.
4) I'm not sure if your family has done this, but they should get in touch with a budget counselor if it's free or do online research. You'd be amazed how little a family of 6 can live on if you're willing to make the sacrifices. I have a family of 3 and we spend less than $1300/month total (rent/bills/food/clothing/insurance/etc). If your mom worked and kids pitched in with part-time jobs, you could get by and still all go to school. My family has cut expenses by making use of salvation army, good will, craigslist, ebay and buying in bulk. We spend less than $150/month on food by freezing and vacuuming sealing meals. For instance we buy meat in bulk. We can get meat at $1/lb (or less sometimes) at food wholesalers. We vacuum seal it and freeze it. We did have to buy an extra freezer but that only cost us $75 on craigslist. We've slashed our food expenses by 30-50% by using coupons and coupon websites. (Did you know that Kroger, Meijers, Kmart, etc double and sometimes triple coupons? We'll never have to buy soap or shampoo because my wife has gotten bottles and bars of it for free because the coupons exceeded the price of the product) We've gotten $100 of free merchandise by switching our prescriptions from one pharmacy to the next. Some pharmacies offer $50 gift cards to transfer a prescription. I almost never buy new clothes, and noone ever notices. I can't tell you how many times I've been complimented for shirts or pants I got at good will for 75cents. We use the public library. We get DVDs, books, CDs, etc. for free. We have a car that we bought for cash, but we try to use public transportation as much as possible. We specifically pick places to live that are close to commuter bus lines. We get all our furniture used at yard sales, craigslist, on the side of the road, and thrift stores. We NEVER eat out except for special occasions. I NEVER buy coffee at a cafe. I brew it at home and bring a thermos (gourmet coffee too that tastes way better than starbucks that I buy wholesale for alittle over $2/lb) . But given how little we spend you'd think we live a hard scrabble life. We don't. We're going to live pretty comfortably off my student loans. And noone looking at our home or appearance would know that we spend less for the three of us than most single people do for themselves. We live in a nice 2 br apt w/ washer/dryer, fire place, 2 bath in a nice neighborhood. And the funny thing is that every month when me and the wife have budget meetings we always find at least $100-$200 dollars we could have trimmed from the budget if we wanted to. We could really buckle down and live on $1100/month for three. It can be done. We did it and it all started with a simple google search for "feeding a family for less than $200/month"
5)You can still go to school, pursue your true dreams, and help your family. Everyone will have to make sacrifices, but I don't think the sacrifice you're considering is necessary. I know several pre-med coworkers who are nurse's aides at my hospital that work three 12's a week (night shift) and still go to school full-time. They get clinical exposure at their work, still have time for class and ECs. It ain't easy. I respect the hell out of them. But it can be done. You earned your scholarship, so I'm sure you're acquainted with hardwork.

Please explore all options before you sidetrack your dreams. When you and your brother are attendings (sooner than later) your family will be much better off in the long run.

But all in all, though I think it would be unnecessary to delay your pursuit of medical school, the RN to MD route ain't a bad one. I know a few nurses who did it. RN's make great money and all you really need is an associate's degree. It's a great schedule and great money.

Good luck! Let us know what you decide. We'll be rooting for you.

 

[combatwombat]

By no means would getting a nursing degree make it harder to pursue medicine. If anything, it would help. Just a question of whether you can deal with more school... even getting an RN degree takes a lot of commitment.

But I feel ashamed on being a male nurse, will anyone take me seriously?

I think over 50% of CRNA's are male. As far as I can tell the stigma is gone; and if it is not, it is fading fast. If I could go back and do it again I'd probably go after a bachelor's in nursing as an undergrad. Also ladies dig male nurses

 

[Charles English]

my father became an RN after he retired from the military, ages ago when there weren't many male nurses. things were fine then and they're even more so now.

you should have no problem being taken seriously, except from your brothers i guess. they would get over it eventually. as others have said, it is a different ballgame though. i say take a few more sleepless nights thinking on this before you tread down this side road.

 

[combatwombat]

my father became an RN after he retired from the military, ages ago when there weren't many male nurses. things were fine then and they're even more so now.

you should have no problem being taken seriously, except from your brothers i guess.

And if they don't take you seriously, chances are their derision will turn into envy when they see how much $$$ you bring in after a relatively short training period.

 

[pumlittlekin]

hey there, i'd just like to add. nursing school is not easy. the tests are tricky and unlike any other test u'd take in another major. its a different way of testing. im not sure if this is true for all schools, but even if you do well in the theory portion of a class, lets say u get an A, you could still fail the class if you fail the clinical portion of the class.

and the idea that nursing is just for females...come on now, thats such an old way of thinking. dont tell me u think all nurses just obey doctors oders without question.

 

[Narnian]

I would just like to shed some light on the fact that the first Nursing school was established in India around 250 B.C. It was ALL male and they only took the highest qualified applicants. It was not a job for the faint of heart either. They would take care of plague victims and gruesome battle injuries. I work as a Critical Care Technician and I work with some really good male nurses. It really is your choice though. I would only worry about which one you really want to do and then focus on how to get in.

 

[medic22md]

I took the non-traditional route out of necessity. I knew there was no way I could pay for college so I started working as a Firefighter/Paramedic. I figured by going to paramedic school I could really see if my desire for medicine was true. Once I got in I loved it and began taking classes at community college and later transferred to Georgia Tech full time and quit the fire dept. Once I had the means to afford school on a full time basis. Taking the non-traditional route has strengthened my drive. I am married to an RN now so that helps a lot with the bills while I'm in school. As far as you becoming a nurse I see nothing wrong with that and don't know of any reason that would stop you. If your heart is set on becoming a physician then you will find a way to make it happen be it now or later.

 

[mzblue]

hey there, i'd just like to add. nursing school is not easy. the tests are tricky and unlike any other test u'd take in another major. its a different way of testing. im not sure if this is true for all schools, but even if you do well in the theory portion of a class, lets say u get an A, you could still fail the class if you fail the clinical portion of the class.

and the idea that nursing is just for females...come on now, thats such an old way of thinking. dont tell me u think all nurses just obey doctors oders without question.

I agree. The testing is different. i've had people who got all A's in physics, chem and bio and when they switched to nursing, they had to repeat some nursing classes. While the testing is different, there are certain test taking strategies you can learn and if you can master those, you really wouldn't have to do much. I was working 2 jobs and dealing with student organizations and stupid commitees i chaired and i did fine. if i had to do it over again, i'd have finished my 4year in bio and do a one year accelerated BSN program because i was taking 19-24 credits a semester and people in these ACE programs take the same amounts of credits. But then it wouldn't work out cuz working for hospitals in nursing school allowed me to put a roof over my head and feed myself. I never took any loans in school and i'm waiting for my one year to be up in august so i can get my sign on bonus. My friend who has loans has the hospital paying 3k a year for her student loans. if you're lucky, you can get a hospital to pay for your nursing education and commit to a 2 year agreement. i had a friend who had his tuition paid, plus he got monthly stipend except he had to work for the hospital 4years post grad. i think 4 years is little too much. I wouldn't even do a 2year commitment.

Decide for yourself, nursing isn't a piece of cake as many people think. it's different. The advantage for me is that nursing is flexible. I work night shift, make good money, i'm taking classes full time and i'm trying to do research with with a professor down here. Plus, i get some clinical experience and watch the docs. Honestly, residency is no joke! I really feel for the residents. And i've gone from being the annoying person(as a new nurse grad) who pages someone twice for the same thing to being a considerate person who'd text page or wait till another nurse pages that same doctor so i'll talk to them when they're done. I see docs who come in as early as 4:30 to see patients, write orders. I've seen a resident being slammed with 5 admissions in less than an hour and they have to put in orders. of course, guy was soo stressed out that when i called 3hrs after the patient had arrived from the ER to the floor to let him know i'm still waiting for the orders, he was rude enough to scream "i've 4 more orders to write". I've come to have a lot of respect for these residents. Hang out in the OR with an anesthesiologist who has a child die on the OR table and see how political things can get. You can't even talk to the surgeon about what happened because their lawyer has told them not to talk to anyone. Lawyers are always ready to come after you. i've had to watch women in medicine, how they deal with family. All these has made me see what i'm getting myself into and despite everything, i know this is what i want.

 

[JordanMaria]

As far as your family situation, I'm sorry, that sounds really hard. I don't really know much about that type of thing, isn't there a social worker or someone helping your dad that you could talk to about getting aid for your family without you giving up your dreams? As far as the things I can give advice on:
1. I agree with all of the above people, nursing school is actually harder to get good grades in, because the tests are uniquely difficult. It's not that it's intellectually incredibly difficult, but the test questions are ridiculous (i.e. picking between 2 right answers on almost every question, because one of them is "more right".) Also at the school I went to and I believe this is common, the grading scale was ridiculous. <80% = F, 80-86.9% = C, 87-93.9 = B, 94 - 100 = A. For that reason I think it's not a good pre-med major where GPA is so important. Also, nursing classes do not overlap with any pre-med classes, so it's not a conveniant major like bio, etc.
2. Maybe it would be good for you to get some actual healthcare experience, try an ER or ICU (where you will tend to see the most male nurses) and you will realize how silly it is to think a male nurse will not be taken seriously. In my opinion if you are even asking something like that you need to get some real-world experience because you are clearly WAY green.

To summarize, yes you could go into nursing sooner (although it will still take at least three years if you haven't even done any pre-reqs), and you can make decent money and no one will make fun of you for being a "male nurse". But nursing is an entirely different field from medicine, you don't know if you will be interested in it or not, and it's extremely demanding work (there's a reason they pay us the medium bucks), so if you're not going to be able to put your all into, please don't do it. The worst nurses are the ones who hate their jobs.

 

[JasTer]

First of all I would like to say that I understand the situation you are currently in and that you don't want to leave your family to themselves. It's not a problem getting back to your dreams after a couple of years, as long as you really want it. If you have a will, there will be way. Wish you the best of luck!