- Joined
- Oct 13, 2011
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I need an opinion on this that is not bias. I figured I should ask here because well...why not. This has nothing to do with medical school or being a doctor so stop reading now if that bothers you.
I run an in home daycare as I have mentioned before. I have a baby that is here fulltime. His mother has primary custody and the father tries to help out from what I hear, but they are not married or living together. They are both military as well. I have an open door policy for parents to visit because I have to, my regulations are set by CYS and I have to use the same rules that they do even though it is my home and those rules are designed for a large building with many employees. So it is not my rules and regulations.
The father of this baby stated that during lunch hours he wanted to come by and hang out with his baby. His lunch hours are also nap time which is inconvenient for me, but he can't help that. My husband did not react well to this. This baby is new which means I don't know the parents very well yet. I don't know this man except for knowing he is the father. My husband is not comfortable with the idea of a man that we don't know being alone in the house with me and the kids. It doesn't help that this guy is really big. Their is a high rate of sexual harassment around here which is also causing a little more worry for him. He does not feel that it is safe since we don't know this guy.
I talked to my director and by regulation this guy is allowed to come here at 0900 in the morning, lunch time or the afternoon. It does not matter. He is the father, he is listed as being allowed to pick up his child which means he is not supposed to be kept away from him so although it is my home I am not allowed to say "no, I am not comfortable being alone with you".
My husband then asked can he declare to his command group that he wants to be at my home during some days and have them sign it so at least he is accountable and knows that other people have a paper trail on him already. The idea being that since he would be on paper as being in my home he is less likely to do anything "wrong" because he can't claim he was not here.
My director said I can't do that because it could be taken as discrimination or offensive.
My husband basically feels like "so they don't change the regulations for in home daycares until someone gets attacked, harassed or raped. THEN they will realize it is not safe to have complete strangers alone with you without proper accountability"
If this was you...or if this was your wife and daughter...would you be comfortable with this? I understand both sides of the coin here. That is his son...this is a daycare business...but this is also my home and I don't have cameras and employees next to me. I do live in military housing, but it is off post housing. I am about 15 minutes from the military post. I was not that worried until my husband started talking and asked questions like what if this guy has a temper or looks down on women? You have no idea what he is like, you don't know this family yet. What if he attacked you?
I run an in home daycare as I have mentioned before. I have a baby that is here fulltime. His mother has primary custody and the father tries to help out from what I hear, but they are not married or living together. They are both military as well. I have an open door policy for parents to visit because I have to, my regulations are set by CYS and I have to use the same rules that they do even though it is my home and those rules are designed for a large building with many employees. So it is not my rules and regulations.
The father of this baby stated that during lunch hours he wanted to come by and hang out with his baby. His lunch hours are also nap time which is inconvenient for me, but he can't help that. My husband did not react well to this. This baby is new which means I don't know the parents very well yet. I don't know this man except for knowing he is the father. My husband is not comfortable with the idea of a man that we don't know being alone in the house with me and the kids. It doesn't help that this guy is really big. Their is a high rate of sexual harassment around here which is also causing a little more worry for him. He does not feel that it is safe since we don't know this guy.
I talked to my director and by regulation this guy is allowed to come here at 0900 in the morning, lunch time or the afternoon. It does not matter. He is the father, he is listed as being allowed to pick up his child which means he is not supposed to be kept away from him so although it is my home I am not allowed to say "no, I am not comfortable being alone with you".
My husband then asked can he declare to his command group that he wants to be at my home during some days and have them sign it so at least he is accountable and knows that other people have a paper trail on him already. The idea being that since he would be on paper as being in my home he is less likely to do anything "wrong" because he can't claim he was not here.
My director said I can't do that because it could be taken as discrimination or offensive.
My husband basically feels like "so they don't change the regulations for in home daycares until someone gets attacked, harassed or raped. THEN they will realize it is not safe to have complete strangers alone with you without proper accountability"
If this was you...or if this was your wife and daughter...would you be comfortable with this? I understand both sides of the coin here. That is his son...this is a daycare business...but this is also my home and I don't have cameras and employees next to me. I do live in military housing, but it is off post housing. I am about 15 minutes from the military post. I was not that worried until my husband started talking and asked questions like what if this guy has a temper or looks down on women? You have no idea what he is like, you don't know this family yet. What if he attacked you?