21) Becoming Comfortable with Saying "I'm Not Comfortable"
10 credits. To be taken concurrently with 1 credit of "Pathophysiology" and 0.5 credits of "Pharmacology" as this "intensive seminar style" course will demand much effort.
Pre-requesites:
a) how to bold face lie to a physician 540
b) how to clear your conscience of making the patient receive a higher bill for compassionate caregivers 207
c) advanced "laboratory" in projecting competence
Course Description:
During the online 6 week practicum, candidates will be immersed in myriad experiences designed to carefully craft the student's abilities in "buck passing" and "liability shifting" and to develop strategies to avoid life long learning.
After a 5 minute role playing course during which physicians model "problematic" behavior for candidates, the first week will insist entirely of high fidelity virtual simulation. Skills cultivated will include:
-Accurate overestimation of laceration depth
-Reliable hyperbolizing of blood loss
-Expressing Malcontent of your family medicine clinic day job's PTO policy
The second week will include shadowing experiences with fellow NPs who graduated 5 days ago in Urgent Care settings where you will learn such deflection techniques as
"I'm really worried, are you not worried"?
"We close in an hour, I can't see this patient."
"The EKG is abnormal, there are too many squiggles."
Following the conclusion of this, students will utilize the the remaining 4 weeks to devote to a group project to promote their newly discovered identity by producing an Instagram advert focussing on either Danskos shoes or Figs scrubs.
Grading:
1) Attendance - 100%. However, candidates may choose to log on remotely and then peruse Zappos or view re runs of "the office" (US series only. No credit will be rewarded for the UK series)
2) Examinations - Wut?
***Extra credit may be rewarded for the student who brings the most "keto" lunch each day.
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