nurse or doctor with a family and Job

[WULTKMS23]

Hello everyone this is my forst post here so bare with me. I have read a few of the posts here to try and find some answers or advise as to what to do but figured I would see what you all had to comment about my particular siuation. I am 27 yrs old amd I have 3 wonderful children (9, 5, 2)and their beautiful mother. I am currently enrolled in a Vocational Nursing program part-time at a provate school which does not transfer credits, while I work a full time job. I originally wanted to become a CRNA (nurse anethetist) and needed to still help support my family while doing so. My plan was to become an LVN so that I could work at night or on weekends in order to attain my BSN (since all RN programs seem to only be day time program). After that I would take a CRNA program. I know this would be a long and strenuous road but with the assistance of my partner, family and my determination it would certainly be attainable. I figured this would probably take about 8 years total but certainly be worth it. Well I know seem to be looking into becoming an Anesthesiologist and am wondering if this is a feassable goal given my age and need to support my family. I'm thinking that once I finish up my LVN course in about 18 mo. I would work through my BSN as I was originally thinking and then after words apply to MED School and then of course the residency where I would make some money. Is it sage to assume that becoming an MD would really only be about 3 more years than CRNA. I think if this is the case then the earning potential far outweighs the waiting period. Another thing I have to decide is on is the work load. As a CRNA I could work 3 12 hr shifts and spend 4 days a week with my family and earn a decent living. As an MD would I have the opportunity to work less hours than lets say 60. It's not that I don't like to work but I do place a great deal of importance on family as well. I would love to hear any feedback from you guys.

Thanks ahead of time

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[LabMonster]

First and foremost, please don't let anyone here ever deter you from doing whatever you really feel you need to do.

My perspective on professional education has changed dramatically since my wife and I had children, and it is based on timing, not age, in my opinion.

Kids change so many things, of those, I think perspective and priority are paramount.

So - here's MY take...

Hello everyone this is my forst post here so bare with me. I have read a few of the posts here to try and find some answers or advise as to what to do but figured I would see what you all had to comment about my particular siuation. I am 27 yrs old amd I have 3 wonderful children (9, 5, 2)and their beautiful mother. I am currently enrolled in a Vocational Nursing program part-time at a provate school which does not transfer credits, while I work a full time job. I originally wanted to become a CRNA (nurse anethetist) and needed to still help support my family while doing so.

Holy Crap - you are busy.

My plan was to become an LVN so that I could work at night or on weekends in order to attain my BSN (since all RN programs seem to only be day time program). After that I would take a CRNA program.

Ok, here I want to pause and ask some questions. You are enrolled at an LVN program then get your BSN then apply to CRNA school? This is tough because you're talking about 3 steps and you haven't completed the first yet. Other questions = What do you do now? Do you enjoy what you do? Is a BSN a possible alternative?

I know this would be a long and strenuous road but with the assistance of my partner, family and my determination it would certainly be attainable.

Yes, it is attainable and it would be strenuous. My question to YOU is: would this amount of stress and hardship be worth it to your family or to you?

I figured this would probably take about 8 years total but certainly be worth it.

Your oldest would be graduating high school... For 4 years that child will require intense parenting, and you'll be doing intense schoolwork.

Well I know seem to be looking into becoming an Anesthesiologist and am wondering if this is a feassable goal given my age and need to support my family.

Age should not be a factor in pursuing medicine. Your family, however, IS a huge factor.

I'm thinking that once I finish up my LVN course in about 18 mo. I would work through my BSN as I was originally thinking and then after words apply to MED School and then of course the residency where I would make some money.

A resident salary is about 45k(ish) depending on the program. Is that more or less than what you make now? Is it more or less than what you would make as a BSN?

Is it sage to assume that becoming an MD would really only be about 3 more years than CRNA. I think if this is the case then the earning potential far outweighs the waiting period. Another thing I have to decide is on is the work load. As a CRNA I could work 3 12 hr shifts and spend 4 days a week with my family and earn a decent living. As an MD would I have the opportunity to work less hours than lets say 60.

Anesthesia will take you 4 years of medical school and 3-4 years of residency - that is in addition to the years you spend in nursing.

So. 3 kids who love you and want you around. You, who love you and want a career - but want the career for the kids (or so the post leads me to believe) is left with this decision.

If it's earning potential then you can make great money as a nurse, AND you are instrumental to a patient's care. We NEED great nurses.

My fear, for you, is that you will miss your children growing up so that you may study and learn to be the professional you desire to be. I suggest the alternative of nursing, then perhaps nurse anesthetist later as you and your family see fit.

Children are more interested in you than stuff. You are definitely driven to work hard and accomplish great things, but you don't need an MD or CNA for that. Start with a BSN, rock it - see how your patients react to great care (while making good money + seeing you kids) THEN decide on changing your career.

I'm not trying smash dreams here, but if I had my kids before medical school, there would be no medical school.

My opinion - best of luck.

 

[sylvanthus]

OP-Have you looked into and\y Physician Assistant programs? Granted, I am a bit biased, but if your considering being a midlevel provider and want family time, it may be a good idea to consider Physician Assistant programs.

 

[280224]

Will you be able to support your family during the 4 years at medical school? You won't be able to work during those years, and during that time you will accumulate a huge amount of debt. 29 isn't too old, but 29 with three kids to support? I would think a little bit more about whether or not you will be able to provide for them, or perhaps if your wife could pick up the slack for those 4 years.

 

[WULTKMS23]

Ok, here I want to pause and ask some questions. You are enrolled at an LVN program then get your BSN then apply to CRNA school? This is tough because you're talking about 3 steps and you haven't completed the first yet. Other questions = What do you do now? Do you enjoy what you do? Is a BSN a possible alternative?

It's not that I am getting ahead of myself it's that I understand how crucial it is to stay focused have short term and long term goals. I don't want to be doing this 5 year from now.
Now, I work for the largest sign company on the west coast in the Project Management department, I don't like it and there is not bright future. I only make about $35k a yr.
A BSN only is not an alternative, it will will not provide ( IMO) the future I believe my entire family needs.

Yes, it is attainable and it would be strenuous. My question to YOU is: would this amount of stress and hardship be worth it to your family or to you?

My wife and I have discussed it and the stress and workload associated with this is worth it for us.

A resident salary is about 45k(ish) depending on the program. Is that more or less than what you make now? Is it more or less than what you would make as a BSN?

Less than what I make now I make about 35K. $45K is significantly less than what I would make with a BSN. with a BSN I would earn about $65 working 3-12hr shifts, which would leave room for more earning potential if need be.

So. 3 kids who love you and want you around. You, who love you and want a career - but want the career for the kids (or so the post leads me to believe) is left with this decision.

This is true, I guess the one who would most be affected would be my eldest who would be going through high school. At the same time though it would be a positive sign to se his father so determined at a time when he would be trying to figure it out himself.

If it's earning potential then you can make great money as a nurse, AND you are instrumental to a patient's care. We NEED great nurses.

Yes I could, but lets face it no where near what an MD would make, A CRNA salary is half that of Anesthesiologist

My fear, for you, is that you will miss your children growing up so that you may study and learn to be the professional you desire to be. I suggest the alternative of nursing, then perhaps nurse anesthetist later as you and your family see fit.

This is also mine. Providing a stable financial future for my family and beginning to build wealth for the generations to come is very important to me, but of course so is being there for my children. I don't want to do this soley for myself, as you know once we "get it" children become such a motivation that it seems as though nothing can and will stop you.

 

[tigress]

FWIW, I'm 27, and assuming I get in this cycle, I will be going to be going to med school with 3 young kids, as a single mother. Do I worry about my kids? Yes. But I still think it's the right decision for me and for them. I have an extensive family support system, which I think is crucial.

The decision is obviously different for everybody. If you definitely know it's what you want to do, though, I really believe anybody can figure out a way to make it work. But you need to be sure first. Shadow doctors if possible, talk to everybody you can, etc.

Good luck.

 

[ArkansasRanger]

Alright, here's another perspective.

I'm also 27. However, I am not married, I have no kids, but my work does compenstate me better. I have nothing but opportunity with regards to education and career change. It's hard enough for me to make a decision let alone if our roles were reversed.

If I were in your position I'd probably be looking at a BSN also. Is your wife ever going to work? If she does then you'll live comfortably. I would not sacrafice what you've got going for you. You have much more than I have, but I admire your ambition. If you go to medical school you're going to miss the most important part of your life and the life of every other member of your family.

 

[tigress]

Alright, here's another perspective.

I'm also 27. However, I am not married, I have no kids, but my work does compenstate me better. I have nothing but opportunity with regards to education and career change. It's hard enough for me to make a decision let alone if our roles were reversed.

If I were in your position I'd probably be looking at a BSN also. Is your wife ever going to work? If she does then you'll live comfortably. I would not sacrafice what you've got going for you. You have much more than I have, but I admire your ambition. If you go to medical school you're going to miss the most important part of your life and the life of every other member of your family.

Well, first--you're not missing any part of your life if you're living it. If you're doing what you want to be doing, that's your life.

The second part could be true, but doesn't have to be. I know many people who have gone to med school married and with children, and their families have been fine. Is it a sacrifice? Yes, to some degree. But you can also do it in such a way that your family doesn't suffer. Of course that's easier the first two years, but even in the clinical years and residency it's true.

Of course I'm naturally defensive about a choice I've made for myself , but I do think that statement is extreme. Like I said, I think it depends a lot on motivation. Personally, there is nothing else in the world I want to do other than become a doctor, and I've finally realized that after years of trying to deny it. If the OP would actually be happy and fulfilled with the BSN/CRNA, I agree-go for that. But if he would never really feel satisfied, I do think medical education can be successfully and healthily undertaken without abandoning the other people in your life.

 

[ArkansasRanger]

Well, first--you're not missing any part of your life if you're living it. If you're doing what you want to be doing, that's your life.

The second part could be true, but doesn't have to be. I know many people who have gone to med school married and with children, and their families have been fine. Is it a sacrifice? Yes, to some degree. But you can also do it in such a way that your family doesn't suffer. Of course that's easier the first two years, but even in the clinical years and residency it's true.

Of course I'm naturally defensive about a choice I've made for myself , but I do think that statement is extreme. Like I said, I think it depends a lot on motivation. Personally, there is nothing else in the world I want to do other than become a doctor, and I've finally realized that after years of trying to deny it. If the OP would actually be happy and fulfilled with the BSN/CRNA, I agree-go for that. But if he would never really feel satisfied, I do think medical education can be successfully and healthily undertaken without abandoning the other people in your life.

That's just my perspective. I'd rather play with my kids all afternoon (if I had them) than study neuroscience or something.

 

[WULTKMS23]

That's just my perspective. I'd rather play with my kids all afternoon (if I had them) than study neuroscience or something.

This is true except lets face it if I'm no in med school, I would be working I mean either way no one just plays with their kids all day. In a perfect world yes. I also think that becoming a doctor is not just about me becoming a doctor and finacially supoprting my family, but also about establishing a way of life or a different culture in all of my family. I have an immediate family of about 50 ( no joke ) and it's important to me to show them all that anything is possible. I also think that my children yes might not see me as much as they would if i worked a 9-5, but see the work ethic, drive and passion for something and take hold of it and apply to their lives. That is something which I deem to be priceless.

 

[EdLongshanks]

That's just my perspective. I'd rather play with my kids all afternoon (if I had them) than study neuroscience or something.

Maybe you all are comparing the life of a med school student versus the life of a 9-5 banker, but very few people have a banker's life. Most normal people work much harder and longer than this.

Personally, I'm a little tired of all the complaining about how rough med-school students and residents have it. It kind of reminds me of when I was a boy in California and the farmers would whine,whine,whine about how hard they had it, how the drought was killing them, how many hours they worked....... But they were curiously silent in the seasons when they had nothing to do and in the years when everything went well.

I suspect that the complainers come from upper-class homes where their dads either received dividend checks for a living, or worked a hard 6 1/2 hour day a couple times a week.

 

[beckhunter116]

This is true except lets face it if I'm no in med school, I would be working I mean either way no one just plays with their kids all day. In a perfect world yes. I also think that becoming a doctor is not just about me becoming a doctor and finacially supoprting my family, but also about establishing a way of life or a different culture in all of my family. I have an immediate family of about 50 ( no joke ) and it's important to me to show them all that anything is possible. I also think that my children yes might not see me as much as they would if i worked a 9-5, but see the work ethic, drive and passion for something and take hold of it and apply to their lives. That is something which I deem to be priceless.

First, I want to say that it is smart to question the paths we take in life. Much better to do it now at the beginning of your education vs. after spending 8 years to accomplish a goal only to feel like you cheated yourself. My advice is to continue to think about this decision and talk about it with your wife as she will have a lot of the child-raising responsibilities if you decided to go to med school. She has to be willing to pick up the slack with regards to your children and possible/probably with bringing some income into the home.
Some general observations:

You seem very specific in your goal of anesthesia, this is one of the more popular residencies so have you ever thought of how you would feel if you didn't match into this? My main point being that I think you should go to med school with an open mind regarding specialties. Not everyone who wants a specific residency is going to be able to match to that. If you are only interested in anesthesia have you thought of Anesthesiologist Assistant? Very similar to CRNA, but trained in the medical model vs. nursing model.

Also you mention that you want to show your family that they can accomplish anything they set out to do, you can show them this without geing to medical school. Personally, I can only say I am applying to med school for myself. Not to prove anything to myself or others, but because it is my dream. When you are studying for hours everyday or when you are just getting off call from 36 hours of hell, I would need to feel like it was because this is my dream, not a way to show something to my family or b/c I wanted my family to have a certain lifestyle.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to let your family know that they can accomplish anything or by providing a high quality of life to your family, but there are other ways of doing that in healthcare.

I'm not sure how other schools are but at my undergrad the BSN students took different science classes than biology (pre-med) majors. If you are going to get a BSN then go to med school make sure that the bio/chem/physics/o-chem that you take will match with the requirements for applying to med school.

Like I said earlier communication is key...talk with your wife about this. Continue to read around on SDN and have her read too. There are so many people here who share their stories and I have found that a tremendous help. There are plenty of people who have kids and have gone to med school so it is possible, but it needs to be what YOU want.

Sorry I got so long winded.

Good luck!

 

[tigress]

That's just my perspective. I'd rather play with my kids all afternoon (if I had them) than study neuroscience or something.

I've been playing with my kids full time for the last 3 years, and much of the time I think I'd rather be studying neuroscience

No, really--making quality time for kids is absolutely possible in med school and residency. Med school itself does not have to be as time-consuming as you might believe from reading SDN, and as long as you choose a residency wisely (i.e. don't do a surgical subspecialty or something) you can make that work out as well. People do it often. It's not easy, but it's most certainly possible. Plus, as a medical student you get regular breaks from school--what job gives you that?

I don't mean to turn this into an argument over priorities, I just think that if you take a realistic look at medical education and compare it to the reality of other career paths, and add in the opportunity to pursue the career you truly want to pursue, you can understand why many people would choose to go into medicine even when they already have families.

And yes, of course it's just individual perspective.

I do agree with the last poster, though--to the OP, are you doing this for yourself, or to prove something to your family? Your motivation is important. If you're doing it to prove something, I'd think it more likely that you would get burned out and not enjoy what you are doing, and perhaps regret it.

 

[MexicanDr]

Well, first--you're not missing any part of your life if you're living it. If you're doing what you want to be doing, that's your life.

EXACTLY!

Honestly, go for it bro, many people are doing it and have done it in your position or worse! Read my the quote under here...

vvvvv

 

[RN wants 2 B MD]

Hi, I'm an RN and just got my BSN and have similar concerns as you regarding educational plans because I have 2 sons (2 year old and a 4 month old) and I'm currently the breadwinner of the family. Don't forget to take into account that before you get into CRNA school, you will be required to have ICU/critical care experience of at least one year. If you are really decided on med school, after getting your LVN, I would skip all the RN stuff and just take the pre-med courses. You will still make money as an LVN and skipping the RN altogether would eliminate many years to your plan. If you really insist on being an RN, just get your AA and then go for the pre-med courses. I realize that my BSN didn't help me at all (educationally) towards MD since the classes that I took weren't pre-med courses. In short, I basically wasted time and money getting my BSN. I should've just jumped right in the pre-med courses as soon as I could. Regarding the family situation, I have read many posts on this site and many others and I arrive to the conclusion that it won't be easy but it can be done and there are many who have succeeded! Go for it!

 

[WULTKMS23]

When I said that one of the reasons was to show my family that they can do anything they set their minds to, I didn't mean that I wanted to prove anything to them. It was more of setting a precedent within the family for the younger ones; being a role model not only for my children but others as well. I am not soley doing this for myself, and I also don't believe that if you don't only do it for yourself that you won' be able to finish when it gets tough. I guess in the end there is no right or wrong answer, but I do agree with the poster who had the quote about how in 20 years we will regret what we didn't do, as I regret things I did't do 10 years ago.