NYC Programs' Ridiculous Housing Requirements

[raspberry swirl]

my bf and i have been together for over 6 years, although we attended different medical schools on opposide sides of the country. we applied/interviewed/ranked programs basically based on location so that we could finally be together, with the goal being that we would match close enough that we could live together- the main reason we applied in nyc (high number of programs in a physically small area). we are extremely lucky, and both matched in lower east side ... however we are finding out that we are not going to be able to live together, as both our programs, and im assuming all manhattan programs, require extensive documentation of us being in a "domestic partnership" - none of this documentation which we have, since we have been living on opposite sides of the US for four years (such as joint bank accounts, car ownership, etc). has anyone else found a way around these requirements? im pissed because our rank lists may have looked a little different if we had known ahead of time that we were going to have to get two separate apartments regardless. i just can't believe that im going to be a physician, paying nearly $1500/mo in rent, and i can't be trusted to say who im in a committed relationship with! i know we can just get our own apartment, but being in the resident housing would just be much easier, not to mention cheaper. anyone with any advice on how to circumnavigate these ridiculous rules would be most helpful.

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[chameleonknight]

my bf and i have been together for over 6 years, although we attended different medical schools on opposide sides of the country. we applied/interviewed/ranked programs basically based on location so that we could finally be together, with the goal being that we would match close enough that we could live together- the main reason we applied in nyc (high number of programs in a physically small area). we are extremely lucky, and both matched in lower east side ... however we are finding out that we are not going to be able to live together, as both our programs, and im assuming all manhattan programs, require extensive documentation of us being in a "domestic partnership" - none of this documentation which we have, since we have been living on opposite sides of the US for four years (such as joint bank accounts, car ownership, etc). has anyone else found a way around these requirements? im pissed because our rank lists may have looked a little different if we had known ahead of time that we were going to have to get two separate apartments regardless. i just can't believe that im going to be a physician, paying nearly $1500/mo in rent, and i can't be trusted to say who im in a committed relationship with! i know we can just get our own apartment, but being in the resident housing would just be much easier, not to mention cheaper. anyone with any advice on how to circumnavigate these ridiculous rules would be most helpful.

You could get married.

 

[Anasazi23]

Options:

1. Send them a copy of a love letter you wrote to him.
2. Live in one places housing together, and one of you reject the housing offer from the residency.
3. In your PGY-II year, upgrade to a 1-bedroom apt. (if you're forced to cohabitate in a studio).
4. Take both apartments and sublet the place to someone else and make a profit.

 

[i61164]

Can you just open up a joint bank account? It's not very hard to do. Anyway, how will they know that your boyfriend is living with you? I'm guessing that the building has a doorman or security guard that will see him coming and going, right? If so, give the guy $100 and tell him to keep quiet about your boyfriend living with you. If you can get all the doormen on board, you are golden.

 

[i61164]

2. Live in one places housing together, and one of you reject the housing offer from the residency.

4. Take both apartments and sublet the place to someone else and make a profit.

I suspect that this will be a violation of the lease.

 

[Anasazi23]

I was probably erroneously assuming the OP meant that she was unable to get a large apartment for her and her boyfriend, rather than a studio. Living in NYC and doing a residency also in the lower east side, I thought I knew where she was coming from.

If I'm mistaken, and the OP means that her hospital is literally telling her she can't live with someone, then I'd say that this doesn't sound kosher in the least. This is America, you can do whatever you want, and live with whomever you want. Of course this is a figure of speech, but I highly doubt that a hospital could dictate who you could/could not live with.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

Maybe it has to do with the hospital providing subsidized housing? They may only do it for their residents and/or residents with spouses. That is a tough one if this is the case.

OP...is that what you meant?

-t

 

[wally223]

my bf and i have been together for over 6 years, although we attended different medical schools on opposide sides of the country. we applied/interviewed/ranked programs basically based on location so that we could finally be together, with the goal being that we would match close enough that we could live together- the main reason we applied in nyc (high number of programs in a physically small area). we are extremely lucky, and both matched in lower east side ... however we are finding out that we are not going to be able to live together, as both our programs, and im assuming all manhattan programs, require extensive documentation of us being in a "domestic partnership" - none of this documentation which we have, since we have been living on opposite sides of the US for four years (such as joint bank accounts, car ownership, etc). has anyone else found a way around these requirements? im pissed because our rank lists may have looked a little different if we had known ahead of time that we were going to have to get two separate apartments regardless. i just can't believe that im going to be a physician, paying nearly $1500/mo in rent, and i can't be trusted to say who im in a committed relationship with! i know we can just get our own apartment, but being in the resident housing would just be much easier, not to mention cheaper. anyone with any advice on how to circumnavigate these ridiculous rules would be most helpful.

PM if you're still dealing with this problem..I might be able to give you a few pointers. But first off...why don't you two just live in an apartment together and not med housing?

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

btw....this cracked me up.

Options:

1. Send them a copy of a love letter you wrote to him.

-t

 

[jjbmsiv]

I concur. For something as asinine as her being put in such a situation, I think repsonding in kind is the only appropriate response!

 

[Chewbacca Jung]

fly to vegas. get married. have it annulled the next day. Show them the marriage certificate but not the annulment.

It meets their criteria.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

fly to vegas. get married. have it annulled the next day. Show them the marriage certificate but not the annulment.

It meets their criteria.

Up until a few weeks ago I think this was called, "Pulling a Britney". Now "PaB" would be the whole head shaving / rehab thing...which I dare say, probably won't happen for a long long time.



Have you asked around in the program about solutions? I can't imagine you were the first to go through these hoops. Sometimes a few phone calls can go a long way.

-t

 

[Anasazi23]

Maybe it has to do with the hospital providing subsidized housing? They may only do it for their residents and/or residents with spouses. That is a tough one if this is the case.

OP...is that what you meant?

-t

I live in subsidized housing in a NYC residency on the lower east side, and know many other residents that do the same in nearby hospitals. I can definitively tell you that many of us are living with spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, just-plain-friends, with kids, dogs, cats, lizards, birds, in one case a monkey, and everything in between.

Just move the guy in with you. Nobody will know the difference. Renter's rights are very powerful in NYC.

 

[i61164]

I think that it would technically be a violation of her lease to live with someone without the knowledge/approval of the lessor. But you are right, people do it all the time. That's why I think if you are worried about getting in trouble, just tip the doorman to keep it quiet.

 

[raspberry swirl]

hi guys, thanks for the replies ... i was away for easter and was without internet

let me clarify a few things-

a certificate of domestic partnership (i have no idea where we even get that), and 2 or more "proofs" of domestic partnership or proof of an upcoming wedding (catering bill, etc), are required for any apartment in the resident housing at both mine and my bf's programs (beth israel and nyu, respectively) - this includes the studios, not just for a 1 bedroom, as anasazi (and i) originally thought.

they give you a long list of things that count as "proof" of domestic partnership. and no, we cant just open up a bank account, and re-register one of our cars in both names, as the documentation has to be for at least 6 months prior to the date of application - and i have two weeks until the application is due. so all of that is out. here's the even more ridiculous part- if you have more than 2 proofs, you have a higher chance of getting a bigger studio or a 1 bedroom- as if having a joint bank account, a car registered under both names, and proof of a prior lease or mortgage signed by both people somehow makes you more committed than a couple who has just one or two proofs ... its total bull**** IMO

i dont know what the rules are as far as a vegas shotgun wedding (but im sure its in the fine print if i go back and re-read it) ... although my parents (and my future mother-in-law, who i am sure secretly has had the whole wedding planned out for years) would kill me, in which case, this would all be moot anyway.

as far as "live together, how would they know??", well maybe they wouldnt, but they have this whole disclaimer about following new york city housing codes, certain numbers of people in each building, on each floor, in each unit, and if they are in violation, blah blah ... i dont want him (or me for that matter!) to get kicked out in the middle of the night and get hit with a steep fine.

and yeah, we totally can get an apartment together that isnt part of the resident housing. we've already contacted a broker that works with nyu. but thats not the point. the point is, that i want to live in the decently nice, conveniently located, cheaper housing with other residents, and i feel that as a 26 year old mature professional paying a pretty hefty sum in rent, i should be able to live with my significant other, as long as i am honest about the fact that there are going to be two people living in the unit and as long as neither of us cause any problems (which of course, we wouldnt, as we are both clean, nice, respectful people!!!)

i feel like its unconstitutional for them to demand proof of my relationship. ok maybe not unconstituitional, but definitely discriminatory. regardless of how i feel about that, i at least think proof of being in the couples match should count. i want to send an email to someone higher up the chain (all requests for exceptions must be sent to some resident housing bigwig) but then again, i dont know if its worth it to ruffle feathers. so what if they "allow" us to live together, but then just to spite us, they give us the smallest, crappiest, basement studio thats the size of my linen closet?

 

[Anasazi23]

Just move in...in the worst case scenario, it'll take them months to legally kick you out, by which time you can find another place. There are all kinds of laws regarding tenants rights that allow you to have extended visitors, sick family members, etc, etc. Or, you can tell them you're pregnant, that's another way. If they ask you for proof of the pregnancy then you can go ape nuts on them.

If you (they) only knew what went on in my building...

 

[i61164]

I like the Vegas wedding idea. Your parents/in-laws don't have to know. It will be your little secret (which makes it more romantic). When you have the "real" wedding, if anyone asks about the marriage certificate, you can say "the preacher already signed it and we put it somewhere safe so it won't get lost." I may or may not have actually done this myself, but I cannot say because my wife and I swore never to tell. In fact, the preacher that did the "real" wedding was more than happy to play along and take us back to his office where we "signed the marriage certificate." It has been 7 years now and nobody is any the wiser. Of course, I am speaking hypothetically here. Check the fine print, but I suspect a marriage certificate will get you something bigger than a broom cupboard. In NYC, every square foot counts (I lived there for 5 years).

 

[RustNeverSleeps]

Just move in...in the worst case scenario, it'll take them months to legally kick you out, by which time you can find another place. There are all kinds of laws regarding tenants rights that allow you to have extended visitors, sick family members, etc, etc. Or, you can tell them you're pregnant, that's another way. If they ask you for proof of the pregnancy then you can go ape nuts on them.

If you (they) only knew what went on in my building...

But what about when they apply for their next place to live, and the b/f has to say where he has lived? Then they will either have to continue lying, or they will be screwed and look like bad potential tenants for their next landlord. I have read that the renting situation in NY is so tight, that if there is any kind of mark on your renting record, it can be almost impossible to find a place that will accept you. So that is another consideration, in the unlikely event that the landlord finds out what is going on.

Have you considered finding housing on your own? Then it won't be an issue if you and your BF live together.

 

[raspberry swirl]

phew, ok, i flipped out a little bit for no reason ... i apologize! i emailed the lady in charge of housing again, (i apologized for being the super annoying incoming intern who peppers her with emails constantly) and got a few things clarified. and let me tell you, it is NOT AT ALL clear on the website OR in her first email, and i swear i am literate ...

but basically, she said, oh yeah you can live together, but i'd have to apply as a 'single' not as a 'couple' since i dont have the right documentation. thus, i have a 99.999999% chance of getting a studio, rather than the 1 bedroom. duh, this is what i originally assumed. how hard is it to spell that out clearly on the frickin website? ....however, she did say if i could provide proof of the couples match, they would take that into consideration. she claims no one has ever brought the couples match to her attention before, but i find that hard to believe. either way, its all good.

now lets keep our fingers crossed that there are very few "official" couples who have a lot of "proof" applying for housing next year, and we get that nice, slightly larger, corner 1 bedroom on the top floor with the extra closet ... now i just have to inform my parents that we'll be living together if i dont post for a few days, you can assume i've been sent to a cloistered nunnery

ps, i61164, you're totally shady

 

[i61164]

ps, i61164, you're totally shady