Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
So hi everyone, here's the deal. I'm starting medical school at my state school this August and I'm 30 years old. I spent four years as a CPA after obtaining my bachelor's and master's in accounting(both obtained from state schools) and I am just now finishing up a one year special master's program at an out-of-state program, after having already had to go back and create my own post-bac to complete the medical school science prerequisites. I decided three years ago that I wasn't happy in the business world and that I wanted to pursue something which had always interested me, which was medicine.
I am the oldest of three children and both of my parents are specialist physicians. My two younger siblings are 26 and 28 and are both financially independent after attending out-of-state privates for undergrad and attending top-tier out of state law and medical schools, respectively. My parents ended up putting approximately $850,000 toward their education ($475,000 for the medical school graduate and $365,000 for the law school graduate) and so for all intents and purposes, they are now financially independent. My parents did float the cost of my undergrad and master's in accounting at one of our state schools (which cost about $70k in total), and they insisted on paying for the two years of post-bac classes at my local state university ($15k in both tuition and food, I saved money by moving back home in my late 20s and saving on rent). So they have put about $135,000 toward my education. Back when I was getting my bachelor's and accounting master's I was young and ignorant and so I didn't even realize how lucky I was to be having my parents pay for my education. But when I decided to pursue this medical dream, I tried to convince my parents that I should be the one to take out the $15k in loans for the state university science classes and living expenses and $50k for the special master's and that I should also take out the $200k in loans to fund the cost of tuition and living expenses for four years at my state medical school. They are refusing which believe me, I am incredibly grateful for, but I really wonder if this is the right path that I should be taking.
I'm 30, almost 31, and I just can't help but think that although there are significant advantages to being free of loans after medical school, there are disadvantages as well. The primary disadvantage of not taking out the $200k debt for medical school is that I feel like I'm in a different situation from my siblings. They came right out of private colleges into private medical schools and law schools, and even though they've both incurred more in educational expenses than I will have even after finishing medical school, I can't get it out of my mind that my situation is different. They knew what their ultimate goals were immediately after finishing college became financially independent of my parents by the time they were 26. If I let my parents pay for this, I will be taking money from them until I graduate in May of 2017, at which point I'll be a month shy of my 35th birthday. I am a single guy and my last relationship ended with my girlfriend 5 years ago, and I had planned on trying to meet someone during the little free time I have in law school. Most women in the age range I'd be looking at (late 20s to early 30s) are undoubtedly financially independent and I think they'd look askance at a guy in his 30s taking money for tuition and living expenses with his parents. I should note that this is not a financial imposition on my parents, because they are both still working in their late 50s and have already exceeded their nest egg goal for retirement. I'm grateful to them for the sincere offer, but I also realized that while my siblings and I were not spoiled children in terms of having a vacation house or other needless things like expensive imported autos, we were in fact spoiled by the fact that our parents have covered the cost of our education to date.
I want to make it clear that if my parents were middle-class or even upper-middle class but unsure about retirement prospects, that I would never ever consider having them help me with medical school, but my parents saved diligently through the years and saved almost one and a half million dollars toward their three children's future educations, so they aren't counting on the money at all. They have long-term care insurance and life insurance and all that jazz, so the only financial thing I will be doing by not taking out loans is taking away money from my two brothers who will receive less money after my parents pass on, but they obviously don't care about that either.
So to sum up (and I sincerely apologize for the length of the post) my primary reason for being reluctant to accept their financial assistance is because I'm in my 30s and I feel that makes me different than my two brothers who I'm sure don't feel guilty at all. And girls who I'd be bound to date would most likely think that I was just sponging off my parents and wouldn't think much of it. I'm beyond grateful for all the help that my parents have given me so far (most recently for letting me move back into their house to avoid paying rent while I took the science prerequisites), but I'm interested in hearing any thoughts that you have about this.
I thought one compromise that might make me feel better is letting the parents pay for the 200k in tuition but taking out the 80k living expenses in loans, that way I'm shouldering some of the burden and don't look AS MUCH like a guy in his 30s sponging off his parents (even though I would be). I know that some will say it isn't like I'm going nowhere in life and just buying cars and stuff with the money they're giving me but I'm still sponging in my opinion.
Specific numbers for anyone who cares:
Parental net worth: ~$7-8 million
Annual income: ~$500,000-$550,000
I am the oldest of three children and both of my parents are specialist physicians. My two younger siblings are 26 and 28 and are both financially independent after attending out-of-state privates for undergrad and attending top-tier out of state law and medical schools, respectively. My parents ended up putting approximately $850,000 toward their education ($475,000 for the medical school graduate and $365,000 for the law school graduate) and so for all intents and purposes, they are now financially independent. My parents did float the cost of my undergrad and master's in accounting at one of our state schools (which cost about $70k in total), and they insisted on paying for the two years of post-bac classes at my local state university ($15k in both tuition and food, I saved money by moving back home in my late 20s and saving on rent). So they have put about $135,000 toward my education. Back when I was getting my bachelor's and accounting master's I was young and ignorant and so I didn't even realize how lucky I was to be having my parents pay for my education. But when I decided to pursue this medical dream, I tried to convince my parents that I should be the one to take out the $15k in loans for the state university science classes and living expenses and $50k for the special master's and that I should also take out the $200k in loans to fund the cost of tuition and living expenses for four years at my state medical school. They are refusing which believe me, I am incredibly grateful for, but I really wonder if this is the right path that I should be taking.
I'm 30, almost 31, and I just can't help but think that although there are significant advantages to being free of loans after medical school, there are disadvantages as well. The primary disadvantage of not taking out the $200k debt for medical school is that I feel like I'm in a different situation from my siblings. They came right out of private colleges into private medical schools and law schools, and even though they've both incurred more in educational expenses than I will have even after finishing medical school, I can't get it out of my mind that my situation is different. They knew what their ultimate goals were immediately after finishing college became financially independent of my parents by the time they were 26. If I let my parents pay for this, I will be taking money from them until I graduate in May of 2017, at which point I'll be a month shy of my 35th birthday. I am a single guy and my last relationship ended with my girlfriend 5 years ago, and I had planned on trying to meet someone during the little free time I have in law school. Most women in the age range I'd be looking at (late 20s to early 30s) are undoubtedly financially independent and I think they'd look askance at a guy in his 30s taking money for tuition and living expenses with his parents. I should note that this is not a financial imposition on my parents, because they are both still working in their late 50s and have already exceeded their nest egg goal for retirement. I'm grateful to them for the sincere offer, but I also realized that while my siblings and I were not spoiled children in terms of having a vacation house or other needless things like expensive imported autos, we were in fact spoiled by the fact that our parents have covered the cost of our education to date.
I want to make it clear that if my parents were middle-class or even upper-middle class but unsure about retirement prospects, that I would never ever consider having them help me with medical school, but my parents saved diligently through the years and saved almost one and a half million dollars toward their three children's future educations, so they aren't counting on the money at all. They have long-term care insurance and life insurance and all that jazz, so the only financial thing I will be doing by not taking out loans is taking away money from my two brothers who will receive less money after my parents pass on, but they obviously don't care about that either.
So to sum up (and I sincerely apologize for the length of the post) my primary reason for being reluctant to accept their financial assistance is because I'm in my 30s and I feel that makes me different than my two brothers who I'm sure don't feel guilty at all. And girls who I'd be bound to date would most likely think that I was just sponging off my parents and wouldn't think much of it. I'm beyond grateful for all the help that my parents have given me so far (most recently for letting me move back into their house to avoid paying rent while I took the science prerequisites), but I'm interested in hearing any thoughts that you have about this.
I thought one compromise that might make me feel better is letting the parents pay for the 200k in tuition but taking out the 80k living expenses in loans, that way I'm shouldering some of the burden and don't look AS MUCH like a guy in his 30s sponging off his parents (even though I would be). I know that some will say it isn't like I'm going nowhere in life and just buying cars and stuff with the money they're giving me but I'm still sponging in my opinion.
Specific numbers for anyone who cares:
Parental net worth: ~$7-8 million
Annual income: ~$500,000-$550,000
Last edited:
and can see why you would think it would be a problem dating. Successful women who are financially secure don't want a momma's boy who still gets an allowance from his parents.It's not fair but it is the crazy **** that goes through girls' minds. 
