one question about protecting yourself

[Rabbit99]

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[WingedOx]

I THINK I know what you're getting at, but... examples please?

 

[bashwell]

I'd separate people into three groups (maybe more but at least three):

1) Most people. I think for most people, if you treat them civilly and respectfully, they usually will do the same. But even the best people can have bad days, that's understandable, and nothing to get upset about. Just be understanding, smile, ignore and/or move on.

2) Arses. I'd say always remain calm. Don't get heated. Stand up straight, look them in the eyes, answer confidently and calmly, stating the facts and reasoning with them. Remain cool and collected. Don't get into a shouting match. Things like tone of voice, volume of voice, stance, posture, etc. all can make a difference. You want to project confidence and reason even if under pressure.

3) Bullies. Do the same as #2, but you may need to get someone with authority involved. If the bully is someone in authority, then speak with someone else in authority as well about the bully.

 

[Rabbit99]

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[username456789]

Did someone flash you D card?

 

[libertyyne]

Did someone flash you D card?

Those non trads.

 

[deleted480308]

Well like working with someone who laughs at inappropriate things or suggestively makes fun at certain things I mean there is a spectrum and variety of what counts as poor behaviors...but people.often don't admit it and would say because you're not strong enough or sometsomething else
Yeah I think it's important to somehow speak up at the moment if possible and don't wait...or fall into the trap of a disguised person

You want to fight up hill if someone laughs at something you believe is inappropriate?

You will have a hard road in medicine if that's the kind of thing you can't abide quietly

 

[WingedOx]

Yeah, if you're not ok with dark or inappropriate humor in medicine, you're gonna have a bad time.

 

[bannie22]

i had a very traumatic experience once. this sickle cell patient, huge guy, i felt unsafe. who would always move in ways that i felt threatened nearly knocking me over once. he would pretend to be in great pain, especially when we eventually rounded as a team, seeking more dilaudid etc.
my fellow med student could see how much i was suffering. and many times helped me with being next to me when we saw my patient. and he could see how aggressive AND passive aggresive he was.
we brought it up to the team. but the patient was an expert, the team was full of duds. he was always kind to them because they wrote the dilaudids. he knew that was how he was gonna get his meds.
it was awful. i had to see him for 2 weeks.
and i couldnt even sleep at night being afraid of my own safety in the morning when i had to preround
i stood as far away from him as possible
and my attending said it was poor interpersonal skills because i wasnt standing next to the bed

it was absurd.



what can u do?

suck it up and keep going on. nobody is going to help you. rem the age old wisdom trust nobody.
life, especially in medicine, is going to be a heck lot of traumatic experiences, and it doenst get any better, maybe not even as an attending.
so keep chugging along until u tink u are done

 

[Goro]

Yeah, if you're not ok with dark or inappropriate humor in medicine, you're gonna have a bad time.

The blackest senses of humor I ever found were in the Peds Heme/Oncs I used to work with. So, the wise Winged is spot on.

 

[WingedOx]

The blackest senses of humor I ever found were in the Peds Heme/Oncs I used to work with. So, the wise Winged is spot on.

Yeah, psych humor is rather politically incorrect, but onco humor is just plain dark.

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

Geez I didn't even know oncologists had a sense of humor. I thought we surgeons were bad but I'm not sure I want to know what jokes oncologists are making, lol.

 

[WingedOx]

Geez I didn't even know oncologists had a sense of humor. I thought we surgeons were bad but I'm not sure I want to know what jokes oncologists are making, lol.

Now by comparison, Uro humor is little more than elementary school dick jokes.

/A family member of mine used to have his personal email address as PeckerChecker[---]@hotmail.com

 

[SurfingDoctor]

In my experience, the higher the patient mortality in ones specialty, the stronger the morbid sense of humor... It's called coping.

 

[Rabbit99]

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[Candidate2017]

i had a very traumatic experience once. this sickle cell patient, huge guy, i felt unsafe. who would always move in ways that i felt threatened nearly knocking me over once. he would pretend to be in great pain, especially when we eventually rounded as a team, seeking more dilaudid etc.

Punch 'em in the spleen. See if that dilaudid works.
Or get an ornery nurse to accompany you. They know what's going on.

 

[bannie22]

Punch 'em in the spleen. See if that dilaudid works.
Or get an ornery nurse to accompany you. They know what's going on.

Wish i knew thwt when im younger. Now i def get someone in the room when i sense a problem

 

[Rabbit99]

I'd separate people into three groups (maybe more but at least three):

1) Most people. I think for most people, if you treat them civilly and respectfully, they usually will do the same. But even the best people can have bad days, that's understandable, and nothing to get upset about. Just be understanding, smile, ignore and/or move on.

2) Arses. I'd say always remain calm. Don't get heated. Stand up straight, look them in the eyes, answer confidently and calmly, stating the facts and reasoning with them. Remain cool and collected. Don't get into a shouting match. Things like tone of voice, volume of voice, stance, posture, etc. all can make a difference. You want to project confidence and reason even if under pressure.

3) Bullies. Do the same as #2, but you may need to get someone with authority involved. If the bully is someone in authority, then speak with someone else in authority as well about the bully.

Yeah, most people/strangers are. But it's more complicated to develop a fair amount of trust along with respect. You can come to a point where it is very difficult to trust others. Establishing a positive cycle of trust is difficult compared to a negative one, and when you're at a low point it feels like more trust exist among others around you than it exists between you and anyone else. So there's no easy way out. Going back to the title of this thread, it's hard to determine how much it is the responsibility of others for mistreatment/mistrust that happens