PANICKING during APPE rotations

[Nomad]

Just shy of a year from graduating from pharmacy school and feeling absolutely terrified.

Most of my time on rotations has been spent watching other professionals in their fields--doctors, veterinarians, even nurses--thinking I should have done that instead. I feel like I've never disliked pharmacy more and right at the time I feel like I should be loving it, I'm frantically wondering if I should have spent more time choosing another career entirely--and if I still should! I literally get excited about the prospect of doing a 180 in my career choice after spending 3.5 brutal years in school.

I am right at the point of really needing to decide if I'm going to go for residency, fellowship, etc. and have absolutely no idea. My gut tells me if I don't KNOW that I want to do one of those things really badly I shouldn't, nor would I even be able to compete with someone who does desperately want to do those things.

But if I don't, do I doom myself to accepting the most boring positions possible in pharmacy?

Just looking for some advice, words of wisdom, encouragement, perspective..?

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[CetiAlphaFive]

Just shy of a year from graduating from pharmacy school and feeling absolutely terrified.
Most of my time on rotations has been spent watching other professionals in their fields--doctors, veterinarians, even nurses--thinking I should have done that instead. I feel like I've never disliked pharmacy more and right at the time I feel like I should be loving it, I'm frantically wondering if I should have spent more time choosing another career entirely--and if I still should! I literally get excited about the prospect of doing a 180 in my career choice after spending 3.5 brutal years in school.

I am right at the point of really needing to decide if I'm going to go for residency, fellowship, etc. and have absolutely no idea. My gut tells me if I don't KNOW that I want to do one of those things really badly I shouldn't, nor would I even be able to compete with someone who does desperately want to do those things.

But if I don't, do I doom myself to accepting the most boring positions possible in pharmacy?

Just looking for some advice, words of wisdom, encouragement, perspective..?

If you were ever going to make it into a residency, you should've been working on it years ago

 

[Nomad]

If you were ever going to make it into a residency, you should've been working on it years ago

As you can see in my post I've been "working on it" for 3.5 years; I've actually liked pharmacy school itself pretty well and have had heavy involvement and leadership skills. Just because I'm realizing now how boring the actual job is going to be...I still believe I could get a residency if I decided I actually want to.

 

[Nomad]

Why are you just now having this big epiphany that pharmacy is boring and you should have become a doctor/veterinarian/nurse? Did you not have practical pharmacy experience before rotations? That's a mistake and that's all on you, boo.

Also, residency and fellowship are extremely competitive, so if you haven't been building your resume throughout rx school, you'll have exactly a 0.001% chance of success in landing either.

Here's some wisdom: Don't PANIC. Most everyone hates their job. You've already made a huge financial and time commitment down this path, so graduate, get a job as a pharmacist and see how it goes before doing anything else. Wouldn't want to make the same mistake twice...

I know it's all on me; I don't expect anyone here to say that it's their fault since this is an online public forum. I think I didn't realize because I was so absorbed in learning actual class work. The class work I liked but the short IPPE rotations I guess weren't enough to make me realize that's what I'd be doing forever and I always thought, I'll find something else, there are plenty of opportunities!

Therefore since I liked school I have been building my resume and honestly think I could land something if I really wanted to; but it would probably be a mistake. Thank you for the reply.

 

[Cleaveland]

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's totally normal to know what you don't exactly know what you'd like to do. APPE rotations will help and really will change your views and in turn, narrow it down to what you'd like. As far as people saying residencies being competitive, I don't think that's the right mentality people should have. From what I've seen, a lot of programs actually expanded out to less competitive sites. It all varies. I graduated with someone who failed Pharmacotherapy, and was a B, C student and still matched.

 

[Sabril]

I know it's all on me; I don't expect anyone here to say that it's their fault since this is an online public forum. I think I didn't realize because I was so absorbed in learning actual class work. The class work I liked but the short IPPE rotations I guess weren't enough to make me realize that's what I'd be doing forever and I always thought, I'll find something else, there are plenty of opportunities!

Therefore since I liked school I have been building my resume and honestly think I could land something if I really wanted to; but it would probably be a mistake. Thank you for the reply.

I don't know. I only know retail and I am in the "pharmacy sucks" camp so no useful advice here. That said I don't think you love or hate pharmacy to either extreme. It is probably the pressure of graduating and to make the "right choice for the rest of your life" that got to you. And I really don't think most of the guys that are pursuing residency right now really have a burning passion for pharmacy either. Probably doing it because the school tells them to/peer-pressure.

In term of "boring", I think it is the nature of pharmacy itself (and of most jobs after you do it for a while). What will make it tolerable or not is the people that you work with. I don't know about the hospital world, but I would venture to say that retail is where you will mostly likely be stuck with intolerable people (No offense).

 

[zelman]

If you want to do something else, do it ASAP. Because once you have a mortgage and a full time job, figuring out how to get back to school is a major pain.

 

[El Trombopag]

I remember being in the same boat about 8 years ago. Desperation for any job offer w/6 figure loans tempered my ‘will I really like this crap’ mentality.

 

[hye345]

Just shy of a year from graduating from pharmacy school and feeling absolutely terrified.

Most of my time on rotations has been spent watching other professionals in their fields--doctors, veterinarians, even nurses--thinking I should have done that instead. I feel like I've never disliked pharmacy more and right at the time I feel like I should be loving it, I'm frantically wondering if I should have spent more time choosing another career entirely--and if I still should! I literally get excited about the prospect of doing a 180 in my career choice after spending 3.5 brutal years in school.

I am right at the point of really needing to decide if I'm going to go for residency, fellowship, etc. and have absolutely no idea. My gut tells me if I don't KNOW that I want to do one of those things really badly I shouldn't, nor would I even be able to compete with someone who does desperately want to do those things.

But if I don't, do I doom myself to accepting the most boring positions possible in pharmacy?

Just looking for some advice, words of wisdom, encouragement, perspective..?

I felt the exact same way during my first couple of rotations. Pharmacy school was interesting enough, and I wanted to go into hospital pharmacy, if anything to escape retail. However, during my first few rotations (Which were clinical in nature, in preparation for applying for residency), Maybe my head wasn’t in it, but I found the experience to be largely boring... Just following around doctors and med students all around the hospital all day, making recommendations, mostly to other pharmacy students post-rounding, some to med students and doctors during rounds, and most of these were never really accepted... I am sure working as an actual hospital (staff) pharmacist is more productive and fruitful and whatnot, but the experience was demoralizing to say the least.

 

[bacillus1]

Try some non-traditional rotations if you can, such as managed care and industry (though try to do them before Midyear if at all possible).

 

[Rxaunt]

Also questioning how you just learned this now but I guess that isn't really helpful or productive. My best advice is for you to reflect on your time in pharmacy school. Why did you choose it? Was it the just the "easy" way to get a doctorate, don't judge that statement I know people that where that was the main reason they chose pharmacy? Or was it something more than that? Think of a time when you liked pharmacy, maybe not loved it but liked it, and think about why that was. What were you doing that you loved? Was it only the school part or were there experiential parts that you loved? Then sort out if those were things that you could only get with being a pharmacist or are these things that you could get with any healthcare job? Basically go back to the beginning and find your passion again, if you ever had it. Honestly if you cannot find it I don't think you have a great shot at residencies without it, because you won't be able to give an interview like you care about pharmacy if you don't. Maybe it's just that the rotation sites you have been on have not been the best ones for you. I personally had a few that while I could through the day and the experience with a fairly positive attitude they weren't my favorite. So it could be just the sites you have been at really are not a match for what you wanted to do. For me my hospital rotation was one that I could have done my whole life without and if that had been my only view of pharmacy I would have headed the other way, IV bags etc are not my thing, but I loved my community pharmacy rotation which most people hate so there's that. If you find out that it is more the rotation that you are on that has you down try to make it better for yourself, come up with an extra project more tailored to you, keep busy on site etc. Honestly some rotations are what you make of them, if you go in and just do the bare minimum to get by you will have a bad time. Case and point example I had an ER rotation that my daily task was basically getting med recs from all the patients that maybe getting admitted. If I just did the bare minimum my days would have been filled with going room to room asking and sometimes harassing patients for what medications they take and what pharmacy they use. Which can get really boring really quickly. However I went in day one saying I want to see everything I possibly can. So I was brought in on codes and traumas , grabbed meds from the tubes etc, and in some cases my preceptor would quiz me okay what would you do etc. So another question to ask yourself P4 year if you are suddenly hating pharmacy is are you giving it 100%? Or are you just going through the motions? If you are just going through the motions then maybe try giving it your all. I guess before making the decision to drop pharmacy completely these maybe somethings to consider.

 

[GravityBeetle]

At this point, best to graduate and at least get your PharmD. Just wanted to let you know though that I have met people who did do a career 180s after pharmacy. One is now a PA and is much happier now. I know one who decided to go to med school. So you wouldn't be alone if you did decide to quit pharmacy all together. But of course you'll have to take into account your financial situation too and if you're willing to invest even more time into education.