Parents forcing me to be a doctor!

[Felix17]

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My parents are forcing me to become a doctor and medicine is a field I can't stand. I hate blood and can't stand dealing with sick people.

The problem is if I say I don't want to become one, they said they will stop supporting me and cut off everything to me (no money and won't be allowed in the house) and as of right now, I only have a small part-time job in addition to college so there is no way I can support myself. Another problem is that my entire culture (I'm Indian) and all of my relatives have this view that if you're not a professional of some sort, then you're a complete failure. It doesn't help that all of my cousins are either in med school, going to med school, law school, or MBA programs. Then they also lay the guilt trip on me talking about how much they supported me all these years. I realize they don't have to support me now, but I have nowhere to turn and don't know what to do.

I would rather someone who's actually interested in medicine (like many people on this forum) become a doctor rather than someone like myself who can't stand that field and has zero interest.

 

[ChubbyChaser]

My parents are forcing me to become a doctor and medicine is a field I can't stand. I hate blood and can't stand dealing with sick people.

The problem is if I say I don't want to become one, they said they will stop supporting me and cut off everything to me (no money and won't be allowed in the house) and as of right now, I only have a small part-time job in addition to college so there is no way I can support myself. Another problem is that my entire culture (I'm Indian) and all of my relatives have this view that if you're not a professional of some sort, then you're a complete failure. It doesn't help that all of my cousins are either in med school, going to med school, law school, or MBA programs. Then they also lay the guilt trip on me talking about how much they supported me all these years. I realize they don't have to support me now, but I have nowhere to turn and don't know what to do.

I would rather someone who's actually interested in medicine (like many people on this forum) become a doctor rather than someone like myself who can't stand that field and has zero interest.

Major in something you like and take the prereqs along with it. Take the MCAT and score like a 12 on it, they cant make you become a doctor then. Just make sure to take the MCAT after graduation lol.

 

[Daydreamer2008]

Major in something you like and take the prereqs along with it. Take the MCAT and score like a 12 on it, they cant make you become a doctor then. Just make sure to take the MCAT after graduation lol.

👍👍

 

[scowdeva]

Yeah that one's kind of easy...just completely suck at the MCAT, write bad essays, or have fun and be ridiculous at interviews...any of these would guarantee a rejection. If they want to foot the bill to apply, let them. Just don't TRY to get accepted, then they are happy and you can do what you want to do.

 

[ChubbyChaser]

Just curious what do you have an interest in??? You can always get a pHD in just about anything, English, science, history, etc.

 

[InfinitePour]

Yes, but you still need to study hard for the MCAT. You cannot get them all wrong if you do not know the correct answers.

 

[TheLesPaul]

Haha...honestly, I think all these guys gave the worst advice ever.

It sounds like your parents want to make sure you succeed (I'm brown too). If you tell them your plans for what you want to do with your life (be it business, or whatever) and let them know you're not just bumming around, I can't see them having a problem with that.

 

[167649]

Yes, but you still need to study hard for the MCAT. You cannot get them all wrong if you do not know the correct answers.

I'm sure if you just filled in "A" for all the answers you wouldn't get a score that could warrant admission.

And if you could what the hell did I waste all that time for!

 

[Vihsadas]

Haha...honestly, I think all these guys gave the worst advice ever.

It sounds like your parents want to make sure you succeed (I'm brown too). If you tell them your plans for what you want to do with your life (be it business, or whatever) and let them know you're not just bumming around, I can't see them having a problem with that.

Depending on the parents, but yeah. Go to a kick *** business school, or law school, or whatever! Just aim to be the best, and Indian parents can usually be pacified that way. But do not let them force you to do medicine if you hate it. If you're not passionate about it, you won't be the only one that suffers, your patients will too...

 

[ChubbyChaser]

EHhh, i still say get a great gpa but then bomb the MCAT. Then you can claim you tried and you wouldnt have ruined your chances at doing a different graduate program.

 

[Felix17]

Yeah that one's kind of easy...just completely suck at the MCAT, write bad essays, or have fun and be ridiculous at interviews...any of these would guarantee a rejection. If they want to foot the bill to apply, let them. Just don't TRY to get accepted, then they are happy and you can do what you want to do.

I wish it was this easy but I don't want to waste my time with this and taking all the pre-req classes for med school. And even if I wasn't able to get into a U.S. med school, they would send me to one in Europe or India. They are determined to make me into a doctor but I really don't want to be one. To them, the only choice I have is medicine, not a PhD, not law, not engineering, not business.

 

[TheLesPaul]

Going that route of bombing the MCAT might seem easier, but then you have a **** family relationship. Man up, tell them what you plan to do (with career paths and opportunities researched), and talk to them.

I'm sorry, but I seriously doubt that medicine is the only career path on the planet they would be happy for you to pursue.

 

[dreams]

I agree with most on here, use your parents help to your advantage. Take extra classes, tell them you need time to study for the MCAT after graduation so they will continue to pay while you can apply to grad schools (in the field you are interested in, or find a job). You could even spend a summer doing "a medical internship" of sorts and pick a field that has medical aspects and those that you are interested in that way you can establish contacts and have something to put on resumes or grad school apps. Bottom line- if you dont want to be a doctor dont no matter what, you will be unhappy and so will those that have to deal with you.

 

[Felix17]

Going that route of bombing the MCAT might seem easier, but then you have a **** family relationship. Man up, tell them what you plan to do (with career paths and opportunities researched), and talk to them.

I'm sorry, but I seriously doubt that medicine is the only career path on the planet they would be happy for you to pursue.

If I was able to live on my own, I would tell them to piss off and that I'm doing whatever I want. But it comes down to support and funding from them and I will have nowhere to turn if I tell them I'm not going into medicine. I even showed them plenty of examples that you can be successful in many different types of careers but they won't listen.

 

[life1chance]

Oh just suck it up and go into medicine. You won't be sorry, and anyone who says otherwise just likes to think there are "right" reasons to become a doctor.

 

[Maxprime]

Grow a pair - time to act like an adult.

 

[dreams]

Oh just suck it up and go into medicine. You won't be sorry, and anyone who says otherwise just likes to think there are "right" reasons to become a doctor.

are you for real, this has got to be a joke, at least I hope so. There are "right" reasons to become a doctor and if you dont know that cant say I wish you much luck in becoming one.

 

[TheLesPaul]

Well, many people support themselves throughout college. It's an option should you choose to go that route. It's entirely doable. What would you be interested in doing as a career?

 

[life1chance]

are you for real, this has got to be a joke, at least I hope so. There are "right" reasons to become a doctor and if you dont know that cant say I wish you much luck in becoming one.

Oh, I'm sorry. Let me guess... You want to help people, huh?

 

[167649]

Oh, I'm sorry. Let me guess... You want to help people, huh?

Just out of curiosity, why are you entering the field, life1chance?

 

[Felix17]

Grow a pair - time to act like an adult.

Wow, listen mr. internet tough guy, unless you have some helpful advice, I would suggest you don't bother posting. Not everyone finds medicine or science fascinating and feel they will succeed. I know if I put my effort into something, then I can be far more successful in it, than being miserable in a field I hate.

 

[life1chance]

Just out of curiosity, why are you entering the field, life1chance?

I've got nothing better to do.

 

[lord_jeebus]

I've been financially independent from my family since sophomore year of college. It has been the most liberating thing ever -- I was sick of their BS and they weren't helping me much anyway. It can be done.

You're an adult, there's no good reason for your parents to tell you what to do. If they love you they will respect you no matter what you do. If they can't support you through what you want to do, perhaps you're better off with them not in your life anyway.

You have one life so make the most of it.

 

[dreams]

Oh, I'm sorry. Let me guess... You want to help people, huh?

well that would be the point- let me guess you want that MD after your name on all major credit cards, and next to your name at the highschool reunion. Sorry to see there are people like you on here, hope you get lots of **** from people who do want to be a doctor to help people🙂

 

[167649]

I've got nothing better to do.

No offense or anything, but then you have no life. I'm sure you have a better answer than that. And if not you need to think of one.

 

[Vihsadas]

Wow, listen mr. internet tough guy, unless you have some helpful advice, I would suggest you don't bother posting. Not everyone finds medicine or science fascinating and feel they will succeed. I know if I put my effort into something, then I can be far more successful in it, than being miserable in a field I hate.

I think he meant, man up and stand up to your parents, become an adult, and put yourself through college if you have to. Plenty of people do it, you can too.

 

[life1chance]

No offense or anything, but then you have no life. I'm sure you have a better answer than that. And if not you need to think of one.

Ah, but what is life? Think about it.

 

[dreams]

Wow, listen mr. internet tough guy, unless you have some helpful advice, I would suggest you don't bother posting. Not everyone finds medicine or science fascinating and feel they will succeed. I know if I put my effort into something, then I can be far more successful in it, than being miserable in a field I hate.

Felix17- you will get a lot of this, its easier said than done, especially from a culture like yours where family is very important...stand up for yourself for sure and hope for the best...hopefully they will understand

 

[arthrodisiac]

My parents are forcing me to become a doctor and medicine is a field I can't stand. I hate blood and can't stand dealing with sick people.

The problem is if I say I don't want to become one, they said they will stop supporting me and cut off everything to me (no money and won't be allowed in the house) and as of right now, I only have a small part-time job in addition to college so there is no way I can support myself. Another problem is that my entire culture (I'm Indian) and all of my relatives have this view that if you're not a professional of some sort, then you're a complete failure. It doesn't help that all of my cousins are either in med school, going to med school, law school, or MBA programs. Then they also lay the guilt trip on me talking about how much they supported me all these years. I realize they don't have to support me now, but I have nowhere to turn and don't know what to do.

I would rather someone who's actually interested in medicine (like many people on this forum) become a doctor rather than someone like myself who can't stand that field and has zero interest.

I felt EXACTLY as you did. Now I am a fourth year and am thrilled that I will be a doctor. 1: I hated blood, almost passed out the first time I saw a finger split open. Now I'm going into surgery. 2: HATED SICK PEOPLE. Now, I particularly like old sick people...they always have hilarious stories, and its like hanging out with your grandparents. In general, I like all people now, sick or not sick...just grew out of it. I'll bet you will end up loving it, especially when you see how useless other jobs in this world are. You actually bring hope to people. Have you ever been in the hospital? I swear, when I had to go to the ER for the first time last year, I begged to die, and the ER doc gave me something and I felt like a million bucks. Providing that kind of service is beyond anything else in the world....its up there with being the pope.

 

[life1chance]

well that would be the point- let me guess you want that MD after your name on all major credit cards, and next to your name at the highschool reunion. Sorry to see there are people like you on here, hope you get lots of **** from people who do want to be a doctor to help people🙂

Ope, you got me!

 

[dreams]

Ah, but what is life? Think about it.

ya.....you might need help, either that or you are right you have nothing better to do and are just starting **** on here bc of that. Either way sad...very sad.

 

[167649]

Wow, listen mr. internet tough guy, unless you have some helpful advice, I would suggest you don't bother posting. Not everyone finds medicine or science fascinating and feel they will succeed. I know if I put my effort into something, then I can be far more successful in it, than being miserable in a field I hate.

Look, he was only being a realist. He didn't mean nut up and just do medicine, he meant do what it is you want to do, regardless of your parents. What would you rather do, tough up now and have a rewarding career later, or hate your career for the rest of your life

I know how it is in indian culture, but you just have to find the strength to follow what you want to do. Plenty of people have survived and gone on to do the things they wanted to after they were cut off from financial support.

 

[Farmer Jane]

What do you want to do? How old are you? What education do you have at this point?

 

[Felix17]

Well, many people support themselves throughout college. It's an option should you choose to go that route. It's entirely doable. What would you be interested in doing as a career?

If it was just a problem of money, then I would take the risk and try going on my own by taking out loans and what not. However, they plan on completely cutting me off and probably won't even talk to me since I will be viewed as a failure. I would have nowhere to go.

As for a career, I'm more interested in the liberal arts such as English/History/ and design. However, that is frowned upon in my family and they think I will be cooking fries all my life then. I really don't know as to the exact career path I would want but I would love to go into the fields of journalism, history, or become a graphic designer.

 

[life1chance]

ya.....you might need help, either that or you are right you have nothing better to do and are just starting **** on here bc of that. Either way sad...very sad.

I do need help. Will you help me? Word has it that you genuinely want to help people! I am putty in your hands.

 

[TIGIBedHead]

Yeah that one's kind of easy...just completely suck at the MCAT, write bad essays, or have fun and be ridiculous at interviews...any of these would guarantee a rejection. If they want to foot the bill to apply, let them. Just don't TRY to get accepted, then they are happy and you can do what you want to do.

Like Harold and Kumar. Talk about weed in your interview, how the MCAT is a piece of cake, how this interview is not worthy of your time. Leave your cell phone on and ask your interviewer to excuse you as you answer it to make plans with your pot-smoking friend.

In all seriousness, have you tried volunteering in a clinical setting? Are you absolutely positive you don't want to do medicine? If so, what do you want to do? If you find a passion for another profession (law? business?), is it possible that your parents would be accepting? What are they concerned about- prestige? your ability to provide for yourself when they're gone? Try talking to them about why they really want you to be a doctor. If it's due to their personal fears about your well-being, you can get somewhere with that. If all they care about is prestige and what others think of you, I'm not sure how you can work around that. I hope it works out for you.

 

[Maxprime]

Wow, listen mr. internet tough guy, unless you have some helpful advice, I would suggest you don't bother posting. Not everyone finds medicine or science fascinating and feel they will succeed. I know if I put my effort into something, then I can be far more successful in it, than being miserable in a field I hate.

Well, Mr. Fellow Internet Guy, my helpful advice was to grow a pair and act like an adult. I suppose my answer was too straightforward or accurate. You're right - I should go onto a different message board and whine about how mommy and daddy are forcing me to reply to your posts. I guess I could just post on here and tell you not to be miserable because your parents want you to be - given that you're of legal age to be on your own. Of course, that's not helpful.

Join the wonderful group of us that told our parents that we're not as ignorant as them and don't need their money. You'll suffer more in college but enjoy the rest of your life.

 

[dreams]

I do need help. Will you help me? Word has it that you genuinely want to help people! I am putty in your hands.

sure I would love too anytime....

 

[NJDIF]

Well, Mr. Fellow Internet Guy, my helpful advice was to grow a pair and act like an adult. I suppose my answer was too straightforward or accurate. You're right - I should go onto a different message board and whine about how mommy and daddy are forcing me to reply to your posts. I guess I could just post on here and tell you not to be miserable because your parents want you to be - given that you're of legal age to be on your own. Of course, that's not helpful.

Join the wonderful group of us that told our parents that we're not as ignorant as them and don't need their money. You'll suffer more in college but enjoy the rest of your life.

 

[life1chance]

sure I would love too anytime....

I am all yours... Have your way with me!

 

[TIGIBedHead]

That is one of the funniest pictures ever. Look at how victorious the big sibling looks. And what kind of parent/babysitter's first reaction would be to take a photo of that. Now this kid is gonna think it's acceptable and praiseworthy to color on people with markers. Just wait till he gets to kindergarten.

 

[167649]

Ah, but what is life? Think about it.

The pre-allo forum is not the proper place for philosophical debates.

I would have nowhere to go.

That is your problem. You refuse to believe you can survive without your family support. You can always make friends, and one day start a family of your own that will care about you for what you are.

I hate to tell you this, but your parents are ignorant if they think you will be flipping burgers. Screw them. You seem like you have some well thought out goals and those are all fine careers. If they refuse to accept you than do you really want their support? I know it's tough to swallow but that is life. Much greater tragedies have happened to people and they survive and go on to live happy lives. You will survive and go on to live a happy life. In fact you have plenty of places "to go." The door opens up to greener pastures if you are doing what you want to do.

 

[Farmer Jane]

Okay, so I'm gathering that you're 17 years old, still in high school, and are interested in the humanities or graphic design. Correct me if I am mistaken. To at least stay in your parents' good graces through college, would you be willing to take the pre-requisites for medical school? Would your parents allow you to major in anything other than biology?

 

[life1chance]

The pre-allo forum is not the proper place for philosophical debates.

 

[Maxprime]

I left out - life lesson #1 if you insist on doing something you hate (medicine) - SDN is not the best place for sympathy.

 

[life1chance]

I left out - life lesson #1 if you insist on doing something you hate (medicine) - SDN is not the best place for sympathy.

I don't hate it. I'm indifferent. The human body fascinates me, but I'm not going to say that I am going into medicine to help people. I could care less about that actual people.

 

[meats]

hello fellow brownies!
dude, i think you need to talk to your parents one-on-one and discuss this thoroughly...as ppl have suggested on here before. Also, why not try out a summer pre-med program which would provide a good exposure about medicine as a career?? I think you should atleast give it a chance...instead of just flat-out rebelling...
BTW are your parents doctors???
oh and life1chance...you remind of a d desi guy i went to school with...it was nothing but philosophies of life ALL the time....you may want to consider getting a life?!!

P.S this discussion is very entertaining...

 

[Maxprime]

I don't hate it. I'm indifferent. The human body fascinates me, but I'm not going to say that I am going into medicine to help people. I could care less about that actual people.

That's absolutely fantastic. I'm glad to know - I'll jot this down in my journal tonight. What does this have to do with the OP?

 

[nevercold]

I'm sorry Felix17. A lot of people on here seem to only know how to tell people to toughen up. Some people have given good advice though.

You haven't given us an idea though of what you really want to do! Tell us!

I think other people might also not know that your situation with your parents might be as absolute as you say. At some point though you will have to make some tough choices and stand up for yourself as other people have said, even if it is scary.

 

[foster033]

ya.....you might need help, either that or you are right you have nothing better to do and are just starting **** on here bc of that. Either way sad...very sad.

maybe he is just trying to start something, but I do find it amusing that people get so offended that someone wants to be a doctor because of the prestige of being a doctor, what is wrong with that? I'm sure that most people wouldn't do it if there was no money to be made.

If you are really that passionate about helping people there are a lot of other fields you can go into where you will work more directly with people who need help..nursing or social work, for example.

Just because someone is motivated in part by making money and being respected (and actually admits it) doesn't make them a bad person or any less capable of being a doctor.