Parents forcing me to be a doctor!

[AKu2984]

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After moving to United States I've noticed a lot of thing about the culture here. One thing in particular is that there is a pervasive idea that one has to move away from their whole family to go to school etc - basically the idea of closeness and family seems to be lost on a lot of people here.

When I trying to decide what college to attend, I was shocked when many of my friends told me "I want to move away as far as I can!" and similar comments. As an Indian, I strongly believe that a large part of the success Indian kids have is because of their strong connection with their family. Indian parents who immigrated to this country generally struggled much to come here and make a good living - They wanted to live the American dream, and want their kids to take advntage of this opportunity and be succesfull. I'm thankful for my parents support - When I get into med school, they are the one's who will be celebrating with me. They will always be their for me when I need them because we're close.

I couldn't have said it better myself! I, too am desi...and when I was starting college all my friends thought I was crazy for wanting to stay close to home. I think it was the best decision I've ever made. I'm glad there are people out there who agree 🙂

 

[BMBPSU2008]

Weak. Indian food blows Italy out of the water. I'd take a good curry over pasta and sausage any day😉

👎

 

[custard]

unfortunately you're wrong twice there. (1) the curries in england are brilliant b/c there is a large indian/pakistani population who make them the authentic way they should be made and (2) three of the top ten restaurants in the world are in england, serving english-style food. they cant be that bad, if theyre beating everyone else have you even been to england?

Ahhh thank you! I was just about to come to England's defense myself 🙂

(British citizen here! Though Soviet-born haha)

 

[Auron]

Ahhh thank you! I was just about to come to England's defense myself 🙂

(British citizen here! Though Soviet-born haha)

The food in England is good. Anyone been to southall? (the place in bend it like beckham)

 

[Crazy4F1]

The food in England is good. Anyone been to southall? (the place in bend it like beckham)

no, i havent...but my mum's (<== note spelling 😉) yorkshire puddings will crush all challengers 😀

 

[TheLesPaul]

Maybe I've just had bad experiences with British food...I just didn't like it. I also didn't like the fact that they appropriated another country's food as a cultural icon - it seems rather like they're celebrating their imperialistic past.

 

[etf]

mum's (<== note spelling 😉)

i got the idea that you might be british by the fact that you referred to a food item (curry) as "brilliant" in a prior post.

 

[custard]

I also didn't like the fact that they appropriated another country's food as a cultural icon - it seems rather like they're celebrating their imperialistic past.

Uhh, well it's because a whole ton of people from said country immigrated to England and naturally brought their delicious dishes with them.

 

[TheLesPaul]

I was actually referring to one of the British museum's search for "Cultural Icons of England", of which curry was one. 👎

 

[Vano]

I don't care to read all 5 pages, here's what I think. Do what makes you happy. You can take loans out while in school, once you graduate you'll start working so you don't need their support--at least try doing it they'll see it and decide that it's better to have a child who does what he likes than to lose their child(unless they're complete *****s). Hardworking people might starve in India but not in States.

 

[spazzz]

I don't care to read all 5 pages, here's what I think. Do what makes you happy. You can take loans out while in school, once you graduate you'll start working so you don't need their support--at least try doing it they'll see it and decide that it's better to have a child who does what he likes than to lose their child(unless they're complete *****s). Hardworking people might starve in India but not in States.

I don't care to read all of this either, I read the OP posts though. Coming from an immigrant family who also places their emphasis on going into a professional careers/schools, I didn't follow that. I went computer science and did alright, found a job, toured the country with my band, and went back to pre-med because it was for me (even though it was suggested years back). My parents give me hell for it all the time, saying i wasted this many years...but it's because of these many years that I'm in the position i'm in now, I would not have done it if I were younger, and at the time, had no problem saying no to my parents. They should treat you as an adult as well, regardless of culture.....although from my desi friends, find Indian parents to be unbelievably controlling.

 

[sharpshooter24]

I think a lot of advice in this thread is shortsighted. You are still in high school, there are a lot of years in front of you with regards to med school, this is no time to cut yourself off from your only immediate family.

Go to college and take advantage of the freedom of experimenting with classes. Take some premed classes (who knows? You might like it) to keep the parents happy and enjoy school. Try to figure out what you would like to do. I would worry about the application process and MCAT much later.

My 2 cents

Nice quote Muad'dib..... i read the whole entire Dune saga. read only 4 out of the 6 books . i know that fear quote very well.

 

[Crazy4F1]

i got the idea that you might be british by the fact that you referred to a food item (curry) as "brilliant" in a prior post.

i gave myself away.

 

[NonTradMed]

I didn't read the entire thread but I can empathesize to an extent what the OP is going through. My parents wanted me to go into a professional career, and I can understand the difficulty of not doing what they want you to do. Fortunately, my career path aligned ok with what they wanted me to do so there were minimal conflict.

However, keep in mind that as an adult (age 18), you are eligible for loans and such which precludes you from leaning on your parents for financial support. I notice that most parents will come around to your views if you can show them you are serious about YOUR chosen career and are working hard to make the goal possible. My dad did not agree with me when I decided to go to med school (he wanted me to go to law school/finance) but I got in and he relented. My mom didn't want me to work in IT when I graduated from college (she was pushing for med school LOL), but she relented when I made my mind up about it. Parents are willing to you more slack than you think but you have to show them you are serious about your career goals. The worst thing you can do is apply for something you like that they disapprove of (such as history or english) and blow it off, then wanting to mooch off them when you graduated. If you want to do something in the liberal arts or whatever, make an outline of your plans, show it to your parents, and argue with them why you feel passionate about this and not about medicine. Then if they threaten to cut off money, learn to love FAFSA and stafford loans. 😉

What are they going to do? Sue the federal gov't for allowing you to pursue studies that they don't disagree with?

 

[neuropsych6]

My parents are forcing me to become a doctor and medicine is a field I can't stand. I hate blood and can't stand dealing with sick people.

The problem is if I say I don't want to become one, they said they will stop supporting me and cut off everything to me (no money and won't be allowed in the house) and as of right now, I only have a small part-time job in addition to college so there is no way I can support myself. Another problem is that my entire culture (I'm Indian) and all of my relatives have this view that if you're not a professional of some sort, then you're a complete failure. It doesn't help that all of my cousins are either in med school, going to med school, law school, or MBA programs. Then they also lay the guilt trip on me talking about how much they supported me all these years. I realize they don't have to support me now, but I have nowhere to turn and don't know what to do.

I would rather someone who's actually interested in medicine (like many people on this forum) become a doctor rather than someone like myself who can't stand that field and has zero interest.

AAAAAHHHH, dude, im like, like, so SHOCK!!! im mean, i feel the EXACT SAME WAY!!! i hate hospitals, blood, dead and sick ppl. i have to become one, or i'll be a 'failure' in life. i don't even like medicine. i would have like to major in finance, but NOOOOOO. on my dad side (nigerian/chinese), everyone is a Nurse, Pediatric or in Critical Care.and on my mom side(italian) pharmacist all across the board.

whenever im depressed, i think about all the money i could make as a doctor. i just wished the happiness would last longer. just all those wasteful years in med school when i could be at mall, the beach, getting my hair done. but i have no choice. i think the most joy would come from when i heal a patient, then i can go sleep.

 

[TexanGirl]

i was born there (british tho, not indian/paki), and there's a reason why i consider curry part of my cultural heritage 😉 you cant beat a vindaloo and a few pints of cobra for a friday night out 😀

There's a reason it's called Englandistan!

 

[Timmythemic22]

I just recently found out the glories of Naan....better than all bread

 

[167649]

I just recently found out the glories of Naan....better than all bread

Mmmmmm.....Naan.....👍

 

[custard]

There's a reason it's called Englandistan!

Haha yeah, I lived near Bradford, or "Bradistan" as it was affectionally known.