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Partner, Child, DPM, and MD/PhD?

Discussion in 'Spouses and Partners' started by EmmaJC, Apr 17, 2007.

  1. EmmaJC

    EmmaJC Just a Girl 2+ Year Member

    14
    0
    Apr 8, 2007
    Brooklyn
    Hey guys, I wasn't sure where to post this since it kinda fits here, but duesn't exactly, anywho, here goes...
    Both myself and my partner are undergrads, graduating in June, going on to MD/PhD studies (me), and DPM studies (him). Although I am not looking for someone in the EXACT SAME situation as me, it would be great to hear how others made it through MD/DO/Pharm/MD/PhD etc. with children/partner/both. I am totally excited/nervous about what life has yet to bring us.:rolleyes:
     
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  3. Trebuchet

    Trebuchet

    2
    0
    Apr 22, 2007
    Hi;

    My girlfriend and I have been together for over seven years, and thought we'd be ready marry after a year or two of her residency. I'm not in medicine (thank you Jesus!), but I dropped my life to move with her, found a new job, and have put up with every conceivable kind of psychotic behavior for the last year. At this point, I can't imagine ever marrying her, and am simply counting down days until I can quit my job (stupid contract) and disappear while she's on call. I consider myself lucky, a buddy of mine killed himself in November, after trying to manage his relationship with another resident.

    While I hope your experience won't be quite as dramatic, I can't tell you anything but best of luck. There is really nothing more horrible than a relationship with an intern or resident, at least, not as far as I can tell.

    T
     
  4. pillowhead

    pillowhead Senior Member 10+ Year Member

    1,031
    2
    Oct 25, 2002
    Well, hopefully this will be a little more uplifting than that last post :scared:

    My husband and I have known each other forever (since middle school) and I am currently a fourth year MD student, he is a fourth year PhD student. We are at different schools in the same city. We dated through college and got engaged during the spring semester of my first year of medical school. We married during our winter breaks of second year. Now, I haven't started residency yet, but honestly things have worked out well for us and we survived med school which is something. It hasn't always been easy--for example, there is only one program for my specialty in this city and my husband still has a couple more years in his PhD so I essentially had to match at this one program or risk being apart for 2+ years. You may find yourself in a similar situation where one person has to compromise on their career dreams at least temporarily--for me, it was a no-brainer. How could a slightly more prestigous residency program possibly compare with living with my husband?

    As far as day to day life goes--our schedules are crazy and all over the place but it's not impossible. We even managed to get a dog but children are simply out of the question at this point given how unpredictable our schedules are and how little money we have. We're definitely unique in being a dual doctorate couple and you will be, too. In some ways it's harder becasue there's no one at home to pick up the slack if you will since neither of you will be working 8-5 hours. On the other hand, it's great because we both completely understand when the other person has to work crazy hours and is up all night cramming or at school in the lab and can't come home for dinner. I think if one of us had a typical 8-5 job, it could breed resentment due to misunderstanding.

    Finances can be tough since he brings home a salary which is barely enough for one person and my estimated budget for the year is three times that. That's what loans are for and even a little parental support goes a long way (like being on their cell phone plan and paying for car insurance). Buying a house was out of the question and besides, we didn't want to give up what little free time we had worrying about home repairs and improvement.

    Anyways, if you have any specific questions, feel free to PM me. Just wanted to say that it definitely can work and not only can it work, it can be very very good. It takes a lot of commitment and understanding but so does any relationship. I think we're both pretty happy with our situation although I do often wonder when kids will happen.
     
  5. YOYO230

    YOYO230 Member 5+ Year Member

    41
    0
    May 30, 2005
    Hello! First of all congrats on your relationship!

    While I am not a medical school or med anything my fiance is. Although I can't speak for our relationship but I know individuals who have made it through just fine. Often times my fiance says "I wish you were in med school so that we could study together, etc." There are a lot of couples in his class that have been together since last July....some have broken up which I guess is akward but most seem very happy. I hope your relationship turns out the same! GL!
     

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