People Asking Why I'm Single - ARGH

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freakingoutabit

freakingoutabit

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I haven't posted in this forum in a while, so hi everyone!

Something has been driving me CRAZY at work, and I was wondering if any other pre-meds (or med students) -- especially other women -- relate. I work in a medical clinic and interact most directly with MAs and administrative staff people. They know that I'm only in town for 1 year, and that I'm starting med school in the fall. Despite this, someone asks me every. single. week. why I'm not dating anyone. They talk to me about my social life with this "poor, pitiful, lonely you" tone, and it's so insulting and condescending.

I'm not dating anyone because I'm moving in 4 months! This town doesn't even have a med school, so I've assumed that I (hopefully) would be moving for a very long time now and haven't invested much in a dating life. More importantly, though, I am SO EXCITED about becoming a doctor, and I couldn't care less about being single right now. I also suspect that they're saying this because I'm a woman (in my late 20s), and I cynically believe that they'd never say these things to a man in the same position.

Anyone else dealing with this?

I know I should ignore it, and that it's a reflection of a certain mindset that I simply don't share, but it's still so frustrating.

(P.S. Congrats to everyone who has gotten an acceptance, and good luck to everyone who's still waiting!)
 
My solution isn't for everyone, but I wear my college ring on my ring finger. When I get guff about singledom, I point to my ring and explain that for now this (my education) is what I'm dedicated to. Also, the ring is a plain gold band, so people often assume I am married in the first place.

Really though, if it doesn't bother you to be single for now, just grit your teeth and smile. It may be horribly sexist/annoying, but it likely comes from a place where they think you're so wonderful they can't believe you haven't been snapped up.

Congratulations on your acceptance by the way!
 
DrCharlemagne said:
My solution isn't for everyone, but I wear my college ring on my ring finger. When I get guff about singledom, I point to my ring and explain that for now this (my education) is what I'm dedicated to. Also, the ring is a plain gold band, so people often assume I am married in the first place.

Really though, if it doesn't bother you to be single for now, just grit your teeth and smile. It may be horribly sexist/annoying, but it likely comes from a place where they think you're so wonderful they can't believe you haven't been snapped up.

Congratulations on your acceptance by the way!
Click to expand...

Stop doing that
 
Lambda Phage said:
Because it infers that you (and everyone else) cannot be dedicated to both a SO and you're schoolwork.
Click to expand...

*indicates

Three edits? Feel like eating those words?

**and a you're your

Have any advice for OP, or do you want to continue to drop ***non-sequiturs?
 
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I'm a guy, but I grew up around Southern ladies, and when they see a woman who's in her late 20's and is not at least engaging in some kind of courtship, they get concerned and start behaving this way. I guess you are experiencing a similar thing. It's just an old fashioned mindset which I suggest you ignore. But you already knew that.
 
Mt Kilimanjaro said:
Prediction: OP returns in 8 years as a senior OB resident and starts a thread asking "why am I still single!!"
Click to expand...

tumblr_inline_n1238i4dWo1s2fbr9.gif


Why you gotta be so mean, Mt. Kili? At least I'll still have my cat...
 
DrCharlemagne said:
*indicates

Three edits? Feel like eating those words?

**and a you're your

Have any advice for OP, or do you want to continue to drop sequiturs?
Click to expand...

Sure. Hey OP, don't do what DrCharlemagne does because it's douchey and pretentious. Also don't be a grammar nazi because that's douchey and pretentious too.

If I were you, OP, I'd be flattered that people are surprised by your marital status. Take it as a compliment, perhaps?
 
Lambda Phage said:
If I were you, OP, I'd be flattered that people are surprised by your marital status. Take it as a compliment, perhaps?
Click to expand...

That's a good way of looking at it. Thanks, Lambda. 🙂

J Senpai said:
I'm a guy, but I grew up around Southern ladies, and when they see a woman who's in her late 20's and is not at least engaging in some kind of courtship, they get concerned and start behaving this way. I guess you are experiencing a similar thing. It's just an old fashioned mindset which I suggest you ignore. But you already knew that.
Click to expand...

Yeah, this is the South. I'm headed further south to get out of the South, so hopefully I'll see this attitude less and less. 🙄

They're all worried that I'm going to become a barren workaholic, but that sounds pretty great to me!
 
freakingoutabit said:
That's a good way of looking at it. Thanks, Lambda. 🙂



Yeah, this is the South. I'm headed further south to get out of the South, so hopefully I'll see this attitude less and less. 🙄

They're all worried that I'm going to become a barren workaholic, but that sounds pretty great to me!
Click to expand...
Heading to Florida with all them yamn dankies? Good luck!

It's cheesy, but be who you are. Live your own life. You're going to be a doctor, dear.
 
RueTay said:
Dumb thread
Click to expand...

I'm sure the pre-med forum has plenty of other threads that you'd find interesting, as a resident. Perhaps a scintillating discussion on the best major for applying to med school? Or maybe a thread on whether someone with a 35 should retake the MCAT? Or maybe a debate on whether the revised MCAT will be harder or easier than the current one?

Have fun -- there's a mountain of exciting reading here!
 
I hear this all the time as a man (only from women and gay men)

Let me say as someone who ended two (separate - at different times) "dating things" before recently moving back home for med school, it was bad. The short term dating and shenanigans were fun, but almost more trouble than they were worth. Starting in the fall I can't imagine dating anyone other than med/health students or people who truly understand how little free time I will have (disclaimer, going to try to get involved in research asap).


P.S. You tryna chill?
 
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freakingoutabit said:
I'm sure the pre-med forum has plenty of other threads that you'd find interesting, as a resident. Perhaps a scintillating discussion on the best major for applying to med school? Or maybe a thread on whether someone with a 35 should retake the MCAT? Or maybe a debate on whether the revised MCAT will be harder or easier than the current one?

Have fun -- there's a mountain of exciting reading here!
Click to expand...

Hey I'm in my late 20s too! Why were you compelled to make this tread again... About your dating frustration?
 
I mean I had a strict no hooking up with people I met at clubs policy. But yeah my advice is get some get some.
 
VinceViegel said:
Yeah because as a guy, I should be going out to bars/clubs every day getting bottle service hooking up with as many girls as possible, right?

That's just not me. I'm a relationship guy. Guess some people here just can't wrap their head around this concept.
Click to expand...

🙄🙄 It's more like the fact that you can be in a relationship and never have the "risks of STD or childbirth." Abstinence. Or contraception/barrier protection. People are reacting the way they are because you made a hyperbolic statement about relationships.
 
DrCharlemagne said:
My solution isn't for everyone, but I wear my college ring on my ring finger. When I get guff about singledom, I point to my ring and explain that for now this (my education) is what I'm dedicated to. Also, the ring is a plain gold band, so people often assume I am married in the first place.

Really though, if it doesn't bother you to be single for now, just grit your teeth and smile. It may be horribly sexist/annoying, but it likely comes from a place where they think you're so wonderful they can't believe you haven't been snapped up.

Congratulations on your acceptance by the way!
Click to expand...
:laugh:
 
VinceViegel said:
Fair enough. I've just been feeling pressured to either get with as many girls as possible or get into a relationship and I'm sick it. And of feeling like a loser because it takes a ridiculous amount of effort for me to get a girl when my friends can do it on a whim.
Click to expand...

Wait until you start school. You can't put 180 successful, good looking 20-somethings in a room together and expect nothing will happen.
 
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