People Asking Why I'm Single - ARGH

[circulus vitios]

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It reminded me somewhat of the "in this moment, I am euphoric"

 

[Boolean]

Someone has Facebook, I see.

 

[Pacna]

lolno

I'm inclined to take advice from females on this subject.

 

[studentp0x]

I'm inclined to take advice from females on this subject.

Good luck in the friendzone.

http://www.lovesystems.com/dating-advice/dates/women-dating-advice

If you actually take advice from women and act on it... you'll get one of 2 results:

1) You'll be friendzoned by virtually every girl you try to get with - because you're an ordinary guy

2) You'll get laid/have an easy time dating - because you're very attractive.

The attractive guy just needs to make some basic effort and he'll succeed. The ordinary guy will have to go quiet far. It's like comparing a very intelligent person to an average person... The intelligent person will ace the exams with a modest amount of work while the average person will study non-stop for a B+ or A- .

 

[La Presse]

Good luck in the friendzone.

http://www.lovesystems.com/dating-advice/dates/women-dating-advice

If you actually take advice from women and act on it... you'll get one of 2 results:

1) You'll be friendzoned by virtually every girl you try to get with - because you're an ordinary guy

2) You'll get laid/have an easy time dating - because you're very attractive.

The attractive guy just needs to make some basic effort and he'll succeed. The ordinary guy will have to go quiet far. It's like comparing a very intelligent person to an average person... The intelligent person will ace the exams with a modest amount of work while the average person will study non-stop for a B+ or A- .

The cynicism in this thread.

 

[chillaxbro]

OP will you be my girlfriend?

 

[Pacna]

Good luck in the friendzone.

http://www.lovesystems.com/dating-advice/dates/women-dating-advice

If you actually take advice from women and act on it... you'll get one of 2 results:

1) You'll be friendzoned by virtually every girl you try to get with - because you're an ordinary guy

2) You'll get laid/have an easy time dating - because you're very attractive.

The attractive guy just needs to make some basic effort and he'll succeed. The ordinary guy will have to go quiet far. It's like comparing a very intelligent person to an average person... The intelligent person will ace the exams with a modest amount of work while the average person will study non-stop for a B+ or A- .

If this is the friend zone, I'll stay here. My girlfriend of 7 years is pretty awesome.

 

[studentp0x]

If this is the friend zone, I'll stay here. My girlfriend of 7 years is pretty awesome.

So is my girlfriend of 2 years. 🙂
I'm just saying single guys should take advice from men who have dating success, not from women.

 

[Pacna]

So is my girlfriend of 2 years. 🙂
I'm just saying single guys should take advice from men who have dating success, not from women.

Both are biased, so the truth is likely somewhere in the middle.

If you think you're 100% right, you'll always be wrong.

 

[ponyo]

Good luck in the friendzone.

http://www.lovesystems.com/dating-advice/dates/women-dating-advice

If you actually take advice from women and act on it... you'll get one of 2 results:

1) You'll be friendzoned by virtually every girl you try to get with - because you're an ordinary guy

2) You'll get laid/have an easy time dating - because you're very attractive.

The attractive guy just needs to make some basic effort and he'll succeed. The ordinary guy will have to go quiet far. It's like comparing a very intelligent person to an average person... The intelligent person will ace the exams with a modest amount of work while the average person will study non-stop for a B+ or A- .

I think you're right for our early twenties. When I was in college I was pretty superficial, and there's definitely a certain charm to your run of the mill hot guy. And if you are just looking to get laid, then being hot is obviously a huge advantage. But the hot guys get boring after a while in the sober daylight, and then you want people who are actually interesting, can hold a conversation, and are genuinely good. You wouldn't bring a sexy but fratty and obviously unsophisticated young boy toy to a professional or serious social event. So yes, it's hard to pick up 21-year-old girls if you're not sexy or rich, but after college it's a different game for sure.

Also, not to be too vulgar, but the stereotype about hot girls being "selfish" in certain arenas applies to men too...

Edit: just read what I wrote, god I feel like a cougar

 

[malaika]

I haven't posted in this forum in a while, so hi everyone!

Something has been driving me CRAZY at work, and I was wondering if any other pre-meds (or med students) -- especially other women -- relate. I work in a medical clinic and interact most directly with MAs and administrative staff people. They know that I'm only in town for 1 year, and that I'm starting med school in the fall. Despite this, someone asks me every. single. week. why I'm not dating anyone. They talk to me about my social life with this "poor, pitiful, lonely you" tone, and it's so insulting and condescending.

I'm not dating anyone because I'm moving in 4 months! This town doesn't even have a med school, so I've assumed that I (hopefully) would be moving for a very long time now and haven't invested much in a dating life. More importantly, though, I am SO EXCITED about becoming a doctor, and I couldn't care less about being single right now. I also suspect that they're saying this because I'm a woman (in my late 20s), and I cynically believe that they'd never say these things to a man in the same position.

Anyone else dealing with this?

I know I should ignore it, and that it's a reflection of a certain mindset that I simply don't share, but it's still so frustrating.

(P.S. Congrats to everyone who has gotten an acceptance, and good luck to everyone who's still waiting!)

I used to be in your shoes exactly getting that pity look before I got married. What was even more insulting was some of these losers at work were then trying to ask me out (I felt insulted, like please not your kind). It's like people automatically start to feel like you have no personal life and that being single is a bad thing. What's funny is, many of them were very unhappily married. It's like being married or saying you are married gives you some form of respect at the workplace. It's all workplace political BS really. Even now, I know a guy at my job that wears a wedding ring and I know he is not married, very single infact. But to be in the married men club and play golf with the big guys, he says he is married at work.

Don't let any of that get to you, it used to annoy the hell out of me. Until one day I figured out the trick. The trick is to never talk about your personal life even when asked - just change the topic. And when asked if you are in a relationship - say "yes". You could be in a relationship with yourself and with your God. It's not a lie. Always say "Yes, I am with someone or I am in a committed relationship" and change the topic and don't discuss it further. Do not discuss your personal life at work. If pressed, simply say "sorry I am trying to form a habit of not discussing my personal life at work." Simple.

 

[studentp0x]

I think you're right for our early twenties. When I was in college I was pretty superficial, and there's definitely a certain charm to your run of the mill hot guy. And if you are just looking to get laid, then being hot is obviously a huge advantage. But the hot guys get boring after a while in the sober daylight, and then you want people who are actually interesting, can hold a conversation, and are genuinely good. You wouldn't bring a sexy but fratty and obviously unsophisticated young boy toy to a professional or serious social event. So yes, it's hard to pick up 21-year-old girls if you're not sexy or rich, but after college it's a different game for sure.

Also, not to be too vulgar, but the stereotype about hot girls being "selfish" in certain arenas applies to men too...

Edit: just read what I wrote, god I feel like a cougar

Yep, this is very much the truth generally speaking.

Though thing is, there are plenty of guys who look good and have good personalities. The two aren't distinct. The 200lb lean guy or the male model guy or.. the nerdy guy, can all be very social and intelligent.

But I think what you're basically saying to the guys who are college aged and not attractive, is that they have to "wait their turn" and let the more attractive guys go first. Rather than advising them to seek out the best of both worlds.

 

[studentp0x]

Both are biased, so the truth is likely somewhere in the middle.

If you think you're 100% right, you'll always be wrong.

Probably. You could always mirror what those guys do rather than take biased word of mouth.

 

[Holy Ghost]

OP how can you say you are single when I am always with you.

 

[La Presse]

OP how can you say you are single when I am always with you.

These fake Nigerian profiles are starting to get on my nerves.

 

[yanks26dmb]

My solution isn't for everyone, but I wear my college ring on my ring finger. When I get guff about singledom, I point to my ring and explain that for now this (my education) is what I'm dedicated to. Also, the ring is a plain gold band, so people often assume I am married in the first place.

Really though, if it doesn't bother you to be single for now, just grit your teeth and smile. It may be horribly sexist/annoying, but it likely comes from a place where they think you're so wonderful they can't believe you haven't been snapped up.

Congratulations on your acceptance by the way!

I'm sorry, this made me lol.

This is seriously the most ridiculously lame thing I've ever heard.

 

[Pacna]

I'm sorry, this made me lol.

This is seriously the most ridiculously lame thing I've ever heard.

Little late to that party, mate. At this point:

 

[Holy Ghost]

*cough