People Asking Why I'm Single - ARGH

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VinceViegel said:
Fair enough. I've just been feeling pressured to either get with as many girls as possible or get into a relationship and I'm sick it. And of feeling like a loser because it takes a ridiculous amount of effort for me to get a girl when my friends can do it on a whim.
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No longer, friend. No longer. http://www.amazon.com/The-Game-Penetrating-Society-Artists/dp/0060554738

Show up to med school orientation ready to run The Cube and a few Yes Ladders and you'll be set.
 
freakingoutabit said:
I haven't posted in this forum in a while, so hi everyone!

Something has been driving me CRAZY at work, and I was wondering if any other pre-meds (or med students) -- especially other women -- relate. I work in a medical clinic and interact most directly with MAs and administrative staff people. They know that I'm only in town for 1 year, and that I'm starting med school in the fall. Despite this, someone asks me every. single. week. why I'm not dating anyone. They talk to me about my social life with this "poor, pitiful, lonely you" tone, and it's so insulting and condescending.

I'm not dating anyone because I'm moving in 4 months! This town doesn't even have a med school, so I've assumed that I (hopefully) would be moving for a very long time now and haven't invested much in a dating life. More importantly, though, I am SO EXCITED about becoming a doctor, and I couldn't care less about being single right now. I also suspect that they're saying this because I'm a woman (in my late 20s), and I cynically believe that they'd never say these things to a man in the same position.

Anyone else dealing with this?

I know I should ignore it, and that it's a reflection of a certain mindset that I simply don't share, but it's still so frustrating.

(P.S. Congrats to everyone who has gotten an acceptance, and good luck to everyone who's still waiting!)
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As a fellow perpetually single pre-med I use sarcasm to cope with people's nosiness, here are some of my favorites:

"Actually I'm not much of a dater, I prefer to be perpetually lonely"

"My dog would be sad if I missed our nightly Netflix routine."

"I am in a committed relationship...with school."

"Men don't find me attractive *snort*"

"Are you applying for the position of my lover?"

"I've actually been betrothed to a Saudi Arabian prince since I was four, I'm going to meet him next year."
 
SnarkyPedsWannaBe said:
As a fellow perpetually single pre-med I use sarcasm to cope with people's nosiness, here are some of my favorites:

"Actually I'm not much of a dater, I prefer to be perpetually lonely"

"My dog would be sad if I missed our nightly Netflix routine."

"I am in a committed relationship...with school."

"Men don't find me attractive *snort*"

"Are you applying for the position of my lover?"

"I've actually been betrothed to a Saudi Arabian prince since I was four, I'm going to meet him next year."
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I was reading, hoping you were a dude and then the bolded line dashed my dreams.
 
Dude, if you're moving in 4 months, that means now it is open season for you to hit it and quit it. Usually I would say "You don't have sex with crazy." but since you'll be dodging down, I'd say that rule can be broken for the time being. Have at it, partnah!
 
SnarkyPedsWannaBe said:
I'm sure there is a snarky med guy out there for you
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Been there, done that (heh heh heh). I'm really tired of dating men in medicine (to be fair, I dated three dudes who landed in surgical sub-specialties so that was probably a big part of it) and would like to branch out. I loved dating scientists and programmers but don't know if I'll find too many of those where I'm going to school next year, sadly.

I want a snarky peds guy, I guess. :'-( I'm sure there is one out there for you as well.
 
gumdrops said:
Been there, done that (heh heh heh). I'm really tired of dating men in medicine (to be fair, I dated three dudes who landed in surgical sub-specialties so that was probably a big part of it) and would like to branch out. I loved dating scientists and programmers but don't know if I'll find too many of those where I'm going to school next year, sadly.

I want a snarky peds guy, I guess. :'-(
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How about a snarky geriatrics guy? 🙂
 
gumdrops said:
Been there, done that (heh heh heh). I'm really tired of dating men in medicine (to be fair, I dated three dudes who landed in surgical sub-specialties so that was probably a big part of it) and would like to branch out. I loved dating scientists and programmers but don't know if I'll find too many of those where I'm going to school next year, sadly.

I want a snarky peds guy, I guess. :'-( I'm sure there is one out there for you as well.
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Yeah I can totally see how that would be an issue, Type A Workaholics (no offense, don't shoot me folks, I love ya'll!!! .... its kinda true though), artists are fun!!

Heh, I dunno, I'm kind of boring and a workaholic....but at least I wear patterned scrubs (so that makes me infinitely more interesting and attractive)... not many people would put up with me. But hey! They should keep me around simply for my quick wit
 
KinesiologyNerd said:
Wait until you start school. You can't put 180 successful, good looking 20-somethings in a room together and expect nothing will happen.
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I'm under the (mistaken?) impression that the girls there wanna ring up b/c their future prospects are terrible.
 
SnarkyPedsWannaBe said:
Yeah I can totally see how that would be an issue, Type A Workaholics (no offense, don't shoot me folks, I love ya'll!!! .... its kinda true though), artists are fun!!

Heh, I dunno, I'm kind of boring and a workaholic....but at least I wear patterned scrubs (so that makes me infinitely more interesting and attractive)... not many people would put up with me. But hey! They should keep me around simply for my quick wit
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The pursuit of obtaining a position in a surgical sub-specialty also leaves little time to be a good boyfriend. All the research, the excelling in rotations, etc. I've seen guys who have balanced both becoming surgeons and being good boyfriends though so I know it's possible.

Patterned scrubs and a quick wit will ensure that you're kept around. If they don't keep you around for those reasons, you didn't want to stick around those parts anyway.
 
gumdrops said:
The pursuit of obtaining a position in a surgical sub-specialty also leaves little time to be a good boyfriend. All the research, the excelling in rotations, etc. I've seen guys who have balanced both becoming surgeons and being good boyfriends though so I know it's possible.

Patterned scrubs and a quick wit will ensure that you're kept around. If they don't keep you around for those reasons, you didn't want to stick around those parts anyway.
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Can we be best friends?
 
I'm a perpetually single female pre-med, too. haha. Although, the pre-med part is fairly recent. I'm just perpetually single and can't even resign to cat ladyhood because my apartment won't allow me to have pets. lol
 
Elizabethx89 said:
I'm a perpetually single female pre-med, too. haha. Although, the pre-med part is fairly recent. I'm just perpetually single and can't even resign to cat ladyhood because my apartment won't allow me to have pets. lol
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It's a lonely road, girlfriend. I'm in the same boat and get my pet fix by subscribing to lots of Instagram accounts of people's pets. 🙁

Don't worry. When you get the acceptance, it's all worth it.
 
freakingoutabit said:
I haven't posted in this forum in a while, so hi everyone!

Something has been driving me CRAZY at work, and I was wondering if any other pre-meds (or med students) -- especially other women -- relate. I work in a medical clinic and interact most directly with MAs and administrative staff people. They know that I'm only in town for 1 year, and that I'm starting med school in the fall. Despite this, someone asks me every. single. week. why I'm not dating anyone. They talk to me about my social life with this "poor, pitiful, lonely you" tone, and it's so insulting and condescending.

I'm not dating anyone because I'm moving in 4 months! This town doesn't even have a med school, so I've assumed that I (hopefully) would be moving for a very long time now and haven't invested much in a dating life. More importantly, though, I am SO EXCITED about becoming a doctor, and I couldn't care less about being single right now. I also suspect that they're saying this because I'm a woman (in my late 20s), and I cynically believe that they'd never say these things to a man in the same position.

Anyone else dealing with this?

I know I should ignore it, and that it's a reflection of a certain mindset that I simply don't share, but it's still so frustrating.

(P.S. Congrats to everyone who has gotten an acceptance, and good luck to everyone who's still waiting!)
Click to expand...
43245182.jpg
 
Elizabethx89 said:
I'm a perpetually single female pre-med, too. haha. Although, the pre-med part is fairly recent. I'm just perpetually single and can't even resign to cat ladyhood because my apartment won't allow me to have pets. lol
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Keep away from the pets, they take over your bed! Completely annulling the amazingness of sleeping alone. Here's a pic h
my dog to prove it to you
 
freakingoutabit said:
I'm sure the pre-med forum has plenty of other threads that you'd find interesting, as a resident. Perhaps a scintillating discussion on the best major for applying to med school? Or maybe a thread on whether someone with a 35 should retake the MCAT? Or maybe a debate on whether the revised MCAT will be harder or easier than the current one?

Have fun -- there's a mountain of exciting reading here!
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Nice burn!
tumblr_inline_mn7u3h2s1w1qz4rgp.jpg
 
gumdrops said:
It's a lonely road, girlfriend. I'm in the same boat and get my pet fix by subscribing to lots of Instagram accounts of people's pets. 🙁

Don't worry. When you get the acceptance, it's all worth it.
Click to expand...
I know the feeling. 🙁 I had a dog before I left home and moved into my apartment, and now I just get all pouty when I see other people with their dogs. If I randomly happen upon a ton of money (which won't happen haha), one of the first things I'm doing is getting a pet-friendly apartment and a puppy frand.
 
SnarkyPedsWannaBe said:
Keep away from the pets, they take over your bed! Completely annulling the amazingness of sleeping alone. Here's a pic h
my dog to prove it to you
Click to expand...
I don't mind sharing! Although, my dog at my dad's house turned into a growling monster when in the bed with you for a reason I could never figure out. She laid on her edge of the bed, and I wasn't allowed to touch her. *shrug* I still didn't mind sharing haha. I sure do love doggies.
 
Elizabethx89 said:
I don't mind sharing! Although, my dog at my dad's house turned into a growling monster when in the bed with you for a reason I could never figure out. She laid on her edge of the bed, and I wasn't allowed to touch her. *shrug* I still didn't mind sharing haha. I sure do love doggies.
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You just can't beat the snuggles! I never thought I'd be an "animal-on-bed" person, but I totally am! I don't mind the occasional kick to the fave or shivering through the night because he has stolen all the blankets. I'm not alone while eating ice cream and watching netflix in yoga pants and that's all that matters.

You need a puppy. I've decided.
 
You're single because you're doing something with your life, thinking logically and intelligently instead of blindly lunging into a relationship. Don't let other people make you feel guilty for doing what's right for you. There's plenty of time for that other stuff once you take care of what you need to and when you are ready to do more dating stuff.

I never dated most of college and just kept to casual fun for a reason. It's what worked for me and I was comfortable with
 
SnarkyPedsWannaBe said:
You just can't beat the snuggles! I never thought I'd be an "animal-on-bed" person, but I totally am! I don't mind the occasional kick to the fave or shivering through the night because he has stolen all the blankets. I'm not alone while eating ice cream and watching netflix in yoga pants and that's all that matters.

You need a puppy. I've decided.
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Pretty much how I feel haha. It would be wonderful to have a puppy to return home to after class, too. So sending my apartment hate mail for its no-pets policy in the future.
 
Just ignore them. The "why aren't you..." "when will you..." never stops.

Why aren't you dating?
Why aren't you engaged?
Why aren't you married?
When are you having a baby?
When are you having the second baby?
 
bakedbeans18 said:
Dude, if you're moving in 4 months, that means now it is open season for you to hit it and quit it. Usually I would say "You don't have sex with crazy." but since you'll be dodging down, I'd say that rule can be broken for the time being. Have at it, partnah!
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My man!

1395753482278.jpg
 
Hey OP, have you ever responded with "why are you asking?"

I get that question a lot too. It's usually a condescending flattery where 'why are you single' = 'I think you're a great catch so what's beneath that's horribly wrong that you can't get a man?"

I tell them I'm single because my boyfriend died...

Yeah, I blew his mind.
 
DrCharlemagne said:
My solution isn't for everyone, but I wear my college ring on my ring finger. When I get guff about singledom, I point to my ring and explain that for now this (my education) is what I'm dedicated to. Also, the ring is a plain gold band, so people often assume I am married in the first place.

Really though, if it doesn't bother you to be single for now, just grit your teeth and smile. It may be horribly sexist/annoying, but it likely comes from a place where they think you're so wonderful they can't believe you haven't been snapped up.

Congratulations on your acceptance by the way!
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Or you can always say "none of your business." Either one.
 
It sounds like it bothers you a lot when people ask you why you are single. Maybe you are a little insecure about your relationship status? Are you sure that you actually want to be single? People can bug me all they want about why I don't skydive, but it wouldn't bother me because I really don't care about skydiving and am at peace with the fact that I don't want to be a skydiver at the moment.
 
kami333 said:
Just ignore them. The "why aren't you..." "when will you..." never stops.

Why aren't you dating?
Why aren't you engaged?
Why aren't you married?
When are you having a baby?
When are you having the second baby?
Click to expand...
Totally this. It never stops. Right now it's "Shouldn't you two hurry and get married? You don't want to be old parents do you?" So I get the two-for-one, why no marriage and no kids all in the same question. People really like having their lifestyle choices validated. Married people will ask why you aren't married, people with kids why you don't have any, people in relationships why you aren't in one.

For some, they're seeking validation- they might secretly miss their single days but want a reminder of how, when they were, they always longed for companionship. The worst thing you could say to them is that you love being single. Other people just can't see life outside the framework they believe it should be lived. Being single voluntarily just doesn't compute for them, because their prime directive was shacking up and popping out babies. They actually cannot comprehend why you're single by choice. Lastly, there's a group of people that just suck at small talk and say offensive things like this without meaning to. Feel bad for them, for they know not what they do.
 
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