People jealous because you're going to med school?

[PEN15]

Most of our medical science courses are taught by people with PhD's in that particular field. They show their jealousy by asking us ridiculous questions on an exam... well at least that's how I like to look at it.

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[HumbleMD]

There's definitely something inherently cocky about a paranoid assumption that people are jealous of you. Mostly because you're making 2 big assumptions: 1) that you are obviously "better" than them because then they have something to be jealous of, and 2) that they care.

I think one of the funny experiences is when I'm mentioning I'll be out of town to go visit a med school (not saying it's for a second look weekend) I inevitably get the question of "Oh, medical school? Have you taken the MCAT yet?" That's an interesting one to answer...

 

[baylormed]

"Oh, medical school? Have you taken the MCAT yet?" ...

No, of course I haven't taken it. I got in with my super-human intelligence and woo-ing powers.




Yeah, I get plenty of questions like that. The most common is "What kind of doctor do you want to be?". I think it's just a conversation piece, since most people don't really know or care about the long process we have to go through just to get into medical school.

I do, however, reserve the information from my PhD professors in case they decide to duck me points out of spite (hey, you never know, and I'd rather not find out).

 

[HumbleMD]

No, of course I haven't taken it. I got in with my super-human intelligence and woo-ing powers.




Yeah, I get plenty of questions like that. The most common is "What kind of doctor do you want to be?". I think it's just a conversation piece, since most people don't really know or care about the long process we have to go through just to get into medical school.

I do, however, reserve the information from my PhD professors in case they decide to duck me points out of spite (hey, you never know, and I'd rather not find out).

The point was that they usually have no clue that I've been accepted yet.

Too true on the professor thing. As a rule, and especially with explaining to professors why I'll be gone, I just say I'm going to visit a "graduate school," and often do the same with strangers when explaining what I'll be doing next year. I feel like everyone and their mother is doing some sort of graduate school next year, so usually people don't ask follow-up questions.

 

[Orthodoc40]

Hey guys
I just wanted to know if this happens to you guys too. For example, ever since you've been accepted to medical school and you talk to other people about it, do you get this vibe that some people are REALLY jealous of you?

Not at all. Most of them think I am crazy for doing it.

 

[lunaire]

Heh. My friends are already mooching me for free checkups 10 years from now (I'm into FP). But jealous? Nope.

 

[AnEyeLikeMars]

There's definitely something inherently cocky about a paranoid assumption that people are jealous of you. Mostly because you're making 2 big assumptions: 1) that you are obviously "better" than them because then they have something to be jealous of, and 2) that they care.

I think one of the funny experiences is when I'm mentioning I'll be out of town to go visit a med school (for a second look weekend) I inevitably get the question of "Oh, medical school? Have you taken the MCAT yet?" That's an interesting one to answer...

I totally agree with you. For a while I didn't want to discuss MCAT scores with people because I knew a lot of people really hard a hard time with the MCAT. Then I thought to myself, "You're such an a$$hole to think that you did so well that others won't be able to handle it, that you feel the need to protect people from your score."

It's really a fine line. I've never wanted to step on people's toes or make them feel bad due to my successes, but I've sometimes taken that to an extreme. But I also really can't stand arrogance or pretension, so I err on the side of caution.

 

[RAD11]

I wonder if you realize that even assigning the motivation of jealousy to others is somewhat snobbish and off-putting? The term jealousy implies resentment. If it was me and I was getting that kind of reception from friends, I wouldn't say they were jealous (i.e. resentful). I would say that they feel bad that they aren't getting the same love from their school(s) of choice. There's a fine line between being jealous and just feeling bad about your own situation, but nevertheless, there is a line.

agreed

 

[NickRiviera]

Thank goodness you said it before I did, and much friendlier than I would have.

OP, if they're truly jealous of you, then I doubt you should be calling them "friends" in the first place..

But then again.. there's a difference between wishing they were there with you, and wishing they were there instead of you.

Sorry, talking out my butt here...

This reminds me of situations last year with my classmates where the tests were extremely difficult and certain students in my class ALWAYS did very well. These students could never tell their grades to anyone unless asked specifically or else all their "friends" in the class would think of them as cocky. Truth is everyone just wish their studying paid off as well as these select students. Some great friends in the class.

the pre-med mentality pisses me off. i can't wait until these people get their ass handed to them by some attending.

 

[nmarie27]

This is one of the big reasons why I think its a good idea for premeds to have good non-premed friends. My best friends are in probably the most non-medically related fields imaginable, and it works out pretty well that way.

I agree. None of my friends are premed and I prefer it that way. They have all been really happy for me and my parents, of course, are over the moon about my acceptance.

 

[guoj]

I agree. None of my friends are premed and I prefer it that way. They have all been really happy for me and my parents, of course, are over the moon about my acceptance.

so true

 

[axp107]

hehe

 

[WCGee]

Like most have already said, my non-premed friends were genuinely happy for me as were the younger students. Fellow premeds on the other hand...

When I got my first acceptance back in October, I told one of my closest friends (he was applying the same cycle), expecting him to be happy for me. Instead, he was blatantly rude and resentful asking how I could have gotten in when he hadn't heard anything yet! As the semester went on (with him still waiting for invites) he became even more hostile saying things like "I don't understand how you got invites when I haven't; I've wanted this longer and I know I would make a better doctor than you...just kidding". Now I just keep all med school related stuff on the dl although it probably doesn't do me much good since word gets around pretty quickly in the premed sphere here.

 

[lilnoelle]

Nope, I haven't had anyone jealous of me. Some of my friends are impressed, some think I'm nuts, and quite a few of them were inspired. (quite a few people I worked with before med school wanted to go back to school and follow their dreams when they found out I was making it work)
Absolutely none of my friends understand how time consuming med school has been and so I run into some issues with that.

 

[NonTradMed]

As somebody else mentioned, jealousy doesn't mean being upset and depressed. It means resentment.

Yes, and I've seen people who felt resentment. One person, whom I consider a "good person" was visibly upset when his friends started getting multiple interviews and he had none....and then they all started getting acceptances and he was still waiting on his first interview. I remember my roommate talking about this when she mentioned she had another interview but "don't tell X, b/c he'll just get upset". Jealousy isn't a good trait to have but it's a basic human emotion that many people experience. The key is to make it not eat at you or your friends.

 

[owlet]

The other day in one of my classes we were talking about where everyone got into medical or dental school before class started. The teacher, who is a PhD with MD envy, came in and heard us then went on for like ten minutes about how docotors aren't real 'scientists' that they are really just glorified nurses and all they have to do is memorize books. He said that doctors stand on the shoulders of PhD's who do all the real work, then he really got pissed off when someone asked him if he was bitter because he was rejected from medical school. Anyway thats my PhD with MD envy story.

I have a PhD and I'm going back to medical school. My friends think I'm crazy, but there are things (like treating patients) that MDs can do and PhDs cant and shouldn't. Even though MDs do some research, they are two separate degrees! The PhDs with degree envy should get some self-confidence and enjoy what they do or go back to med school to get that inferior MD they're trashing!

 

[Law2Doc]

I have a PhD and I'm going back to medical school. My friends think I'm crazy,...

Coming from a successful position in another profession the majority of my peers thought going back to med school was crazy, foolish, bordering on lunacy, and a total waste of time. And those were just the nicer comments. So no, people I knew were hardly jealous. But then again, nontrads have a bit of a different perspective. The world is very different when you are looking at it from a different angle. It's good to be excited about med school, but don't assume that what you want is what everyone else wants. The majority of the professional world has no interest in becoming a doctor -- it is just in the microcosm of premeds that med school is the holy grail.

 

[MedStudentWanna]

Yes, and I've seen people who felt resentment. One person, whom I consider a "good person" was visibly upset when his friends started getting multiple interviews and he had none....and then they all started getting acceptances and he was still waiting on his first interview. I remember my roommate talking about this when she mentioned she had another interview but "don't tell X, b/c he'll just get upset".

NOTHING you said indicates jealousy. Newsflash: My friend won a lottery last November ($10,000). I was upset that I didn't have that kind of luck when I also bought a ticket, but never once was I resentful. I was happy for him, in fact.

At my old job, my colleague got a promotion in her department. I had been waiting for a promotion in mine for two years. I was upset that I still hadn't gotten mine, but never once was I resentful. In fact, I took her out to dinner that night.

It seems many people here don't really understand what jealousy means. They apply the term to anyone who doesn't jump for joy and smother them for kisses as if they invented sliced bread the second they say they got into med school. The world doesn't revolve around any one person. Everyone has dreams and goals. The next time you tell someone that yours has come true and they look upset, think for a minute that perhaps it's because they're reflecting on their own, instead of thinking that their claws are coming out and they're secretly hoping for failure in your future.

 

[deleted103644]

The only people I've seen who express a little bit of (good-humored) jealousy are postdocs. But that's primarily because the life of a postdoc seems to be an ego-deflating indefinite imprisonment in a low-paying academic limbo. A handful will eventually get nice academic positions, but most end up fleeing to biotech - or going an entirely different route. It definitely made me realize that a biology Ph.D. is a bad career move, because almost anything you can do with a biology Ph.D. you can do with an M.D., but not vice versa.

 

[NonTradMed]

NOTHING you said indicates jealousy. Newsflash: My friend won a lottery last November ($10,000). I was upset that I didn't have that kind of luck when I also bought a ticket, but never once was I resentful. I was happy for him, in fact.

At my old job, my colleague got a promotion in her department. I had been waiting for a promotion in mine for two years. I was upset that I still hadn't gotten mine, but never once was I resentful. In fact, I took her out to dinner that night.

It seems many people here don't really understand what jealousy means. They apply the term to anyone who doesn't jump for joy and smother them for kisses as if they invented sliced bread the second they say they got into med school. The world doesn't revolve around any one person. Everyone has dreams and goals. The next time you tell someone that yours has come true and they look upset, think for a minute that perhaps it's because they're reflecting on their own, instead of thinking that their claws are coming out and they're secretly hoping for failure in your future.

Thanks, but I think I understand what jealousy means. I consider myself a very jealous person (a personality fault I work on constantly). I am competitive and it is tough to see my own limitations.

I guess we're have to disagree on this issue. This person was as good friend of my roommates and her friends believed he was resentment, not self-reflecting. A self-reflecting person get quiet, not get visibly upset and walk off when they hear you got another interview.

And perhaps you are just a more optimistic person than I but I believe that there is a nastier side to people, a small voice inside many people's head that wouldn't mind seeing failure upon their more successful peers.

 

[CCLCMer]

Hey guys
I just wanted to know if this happens to you guys too. For example, ever since you've been accepted to medical school and you talk to other people about it, do you get this vibe that some people are REALLY jealous of you? I have friends who applied the same time as me and not just to medical school but dental school etc but they didn't get interviews or acceptances yet. But when I told them about my acceptance, they weren't happy like I expected them to be. And I know I'm not snobby and I don't show off at all or think I'm better than anyone else.
But sometimes do you feel guilty when you know that you get into med school and have friends who didn't?

I didn't feel guilty, but I definitely did feel bad for friends who had worked hard and wound up not getting in. Honestly, though, I think the only people who care about what you're doing are like your parents, your SO, your best friend, and maybe a few of your profs. No one else really cares.

 

[ericana_83]

My friends were all very happy for me--although I don't really have any other pre-med friends.

The one thing that did freak me out was that I was talking to my mom on the phone last week, and she told me that she was worried I was going to be "in a whole different class" when I was training to be a doc, and that she was worried that I would think she was stupid for not knowing all of that stuff. That was really weird (and worrisome) to me, because I've never been patronizing about anything I've learned in college with my mom. I guess people just get freaked out about the title or something.

Any one have any similar experience?

 

[doctorbettyrock]

There's definitely something inherently cocky about a paranoid assumption that people are jealous of you. Mostly because you're making 2 big assumptions: 1) that you are obviously "better" than them because then they have something to be jealous of, and 2) that they care.

I think one of the funny experiences is when I'm mentioning I'll be out of town to go visit a med school (for a second look weekend) I inevitably get the question of "Oh, medical school? Have you taken the MCAT yet?" That's an interesting one to answer...

That's a very good point. But it's also cocky to talk too much about ones' successes, so I think we need to strike a balance here.

 

[SDouglas]

no one is jealous at my school because everyonne is going into finance/consulting, where the big bucks are... for less training and less hours than medicine. in a few years, they'll be getting an MBA fully funded by their company, while I'll be struggling through my residency.

but i guess i wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[PeripateticMD]

from what i've seen, being in my smack-mid-20s surrounded by 26-32 year-olds, it seems if anything, they're jealous of anyone who's decided what they want to do. i think if anything, they're not jealous of doctors as a profession, but jealous of the finality of it, the stability of it. so that when i say i'm going to medical school, people are like, 'i wish i could be doing something that is so set.' i'm not sure if that makes any sense, but i get the feeling that anyone in their late 20s that doesn't have a set career has a mix of admiration/jealousy (not in a bad way) for peers that have actually figured out their path, regardless of what it is...

 

[musiclink213]

I remember last year, I was applying along with my friends, and htey were having all this luck, and I didn't even get one interview. I was happy for them, because they'll make great physicians and I know they worked hard for their grades and I know they had some amazing EC's, but at the same time, I wished I could have interviews to go on too. I wouldn't call it jealousy, rather thinking what had I done wrong to be passed over? Our GPA's were comparable, I had some unique EC's, and nobody I spoke to last year couldn't figure out why I hadn't gotten anything. Not the premed advisor, the chair of my department, my friends, nobody could figure it out.

OK, so my app was late because I had to retake the MCAT in August, but you would think a 6 point increase from the first test would help offset a late application somewhat. Whatever. This year, I haven't encountered any jealousy. The people I work with are so happy for me because they know how long I've wanted this (my mom works at the same school I do and everyone talks). When I got my first acceptance, the principal made an announcement over the loudspeaker, and a copy of my acceptance letter was pinned on the faculty announcement board in the office.

And my medically orientated friends are anything but jealous because they've already started. I remember before my first interview, they kept coaching me on what to say, how to wear my hair, what color to paint my nails, which jewelry I should wear, etc. When I got in, I think they were happier than I was.

 

[lunaire]

I remember last year, I was applying along with my friends, and htey were having all this luck, and I didn't even get one interview. I was happy for them, because they'll make great physicians and I know they worked hard for their grades and I know they had some amazing EC's, but at the same time, I wished I could have interviews to go on too. I wouldn't call it jealousy, rather thinking what had I done wrong to be passed over? Our GPA's were comparable, I had some unique EC's, and nobody I spoke to last year couldn't figure out why I hadn't gotten anything. Not the premed advisor, the chair of my department, my friends, nobody could figure it out.

OK, so my app was late because I had to retake the MCAT in August, but you would think a 6 point increase from the first test would help offset a late application somewhat. Whatever. This year, I haven't encountered any jealousy. The people I work with are so happy for me because they know how long I've wanted this (my mom works at the same school I do and everyone talks). When I got my first acceptance, the principal made an announcement over the loudspeaker, and a copy of my acceptance letter was pinned on the faculty announcement board in the office.

And my medically orientated friends are anything but jealous because they've already started. I remember before my first interview, they kept coaching me on what to say, how to wear my hair, what color to paint my nails, which jewelry I should wear, etc. When I got in, I think they were happier than I was.

Wow, you've got some really supportive friends & family. I'm so jealous

 

[pyrois]

Hey guys
I just wanted to know if this happens to you guys too. For example, ever since you've been accepted to medical school and you talk to other people about it, do you get this vibe that some people are REALLY jealous of you? I have friends who applied the same time as me and not just to medical school but dental school etc but they didn't get interviews or acceptances yet. But when I told them about my acceptance, they weren't happy like I expected them to be. And I know I'm not snobby and I don't show off at all or think I'm better than anyone else.
But sometimes do you feel guilty when you know that you get into med school and have friends who didn't?

Not really, they just laugh at the fact I'm going to spend the next 8 years of my life destitute and working as hard as an investment banker.

 

[searun]

Not really, they just laugh at the fact I'm going to spend the next 8 years of my life destitute and working as hard as an investment banker.

People who go into medicine for the money....do not know anything about money. Or how to make money without having money or how to use money to make money. If they knew anything about money, they would not go into medicine...If you are insecure, you can fake upper middle class as a doctor, but that is about it. Rich...forget it. So don't go into medicine for the money. Which I am not.

 

[BleepTastic]

from what i've seen, being in my smack-mid-20s surrounded by 26-32 year-olds, it seems if anything, they're jealous of anyone who's decided what they want to do. i think if anything, they're not jealous of doctors as a profession, but jealous of the finality of it, the stability of it. so that when i say i'm going to medical school, people are like, 'i wish i could be doing something that is so set.' i'm not sure if that makes any sense, but i get the feeling that anyone in their late 20s that doesn't have a set career has a mix of admiration/jealousy (not in a bad way) for peers that have actually figured out their path, regardless of what it is...

That's about the same amt of "jealousy" I get. It has nothing to do with them wishing they could be a doctor, rather that I've found an activity that will take up a decade of my life and give me a modicum of prestige. Meanwhile, they'll have to figure out how to do the job climbing on their own and find a career for themselves without any guidance. Still, considering the downside of it all, they realize that they have no reason to be jealous. I've inspired a lot of people to apply to grad school though.

 

[riceman04]

I'm Not Jealous...i'm Just Mad As Hell B/c The Big 10 Sucks!!!!!!!