I have a pile of rejections and just got a new one yesterday. I didn't think I'd make it, honestly, but by some freak of nature, I did. I've been going at it for about two years now, from quitting my job, moving away from my home and friends, to attending, and toiling away at, an informal post-baccalaureate program, to applying this cycle. I gave up just about everything I held dear for a shot at medical school. It really wasn't looking too good either, but I kept moving with the punches, even as I wanted to give up. I've cried in frustration and in joy along the way. Now, honestly, speaking from the other side of acceptance, I think it was all worth it.
It's okay to not want to be a doctor right now. I've had that thought pass through me numerous times throughout the process. I just kept on recommitting. You are big enough to want to and not want to be a doctor all at the same time. Take a few breaths, go do something loving for yourself, and let go of what can't be controlled. You are not your acceptances, nor your rejections.
Do you have other interviews, and/or are you waiting on other decisions? I hope so. If not, don't despair. As long as you have the heart for your path, you can regroup, learn from your mistakes, and go at it again.
I think that the worst part of this process is all the intangible, uncontrollable, limbo. The carrot on the stick that seems perpetually elusive. I think this is only the tip of the iceburg of what lies ahead.
Anyway, I wish you all the best. Give yourself some space and then ask yourself what you want from a place of ease and flow. Recommit, if it suits you.
