Personal statement about shyness, identity - questioning everything

[tired_premed]

Hi,
I submitted my primary app just recently and am now digging myself into a hole about my PS. I’m doubting myself and the way I presented my story out of fear that it will be either consciously or unconsciously off-putting to Adcoms. Basically looking for some reassurance and/or someone to tell me to snap out of it – gotta focus on my secondaries but I can’t get these doubts out of my head.

Rundown of my PS:
I start with how a large part of my childhood was people commenting on my quietness/shyness, and how as a child I was ashamed of this/saw this as a negative. I transition into how I’ve come to terms with my personality to see this shyness as a strength/positive because it is the foundation for the part of my personality that I do take pride in – being observant, detail-oriented, and skilled at taking in and integrating information before deciding how to act or to solve a problem. The bulk of my essay focuses on this positive, and I use my examples/anecdotes to show my progression from initial shame to realizing how I can apply these traits in my work/volunteer experiences. I basically come to say that want to be a doctor because I feel it’s the job where I can use these skills/traits to do the most good (see patients holistically and treat them as humans rather than conditions).

My thoughts now:

• I know there is the perception that being shy, timid, etc. is in itself undesirable. My examples illustrate that I seek out and have formed interpersonal relationships, have great patient interactions, etc. (aka I’m not just a fly on the wall with nothing to say). That being said, my essay isn’t necessarily about overcoming my shyness, but instead being able to embrace the shyness as a part of me and essentially transform it to do good/serve others. My fear is that Adcoms may not see past the undesirability of the shyness/timidity, or that the undesirability will overshadow the self-awareness and change in self-perception that I did write about. I don’t want my story to leave a bad taste in their mouth because I highlighted something “negative” about myself.
• I hate to dwell on/overthink something so little but Dr. Gray’s book analyzes a PS example where he literally says that a student’s attempt to shine a positive light on her shyness isn’t a good look. Obviously the nuances in that PS and mine are different, but I feel pretty invalidated by that remark.

I know to wish I had done differently on something that I can’t change is pointless, and that different people will get something different out of my essay, etc. but I turned in my PS feeling like it genuinely illustrated my journey to med school and answered both the “who am I” and “why medicine” prompts and yet I am now so unconfident.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

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[LizzyM]

You can't change the past. You've submitted the primary; move on! I worked with one dean of admissions who was an introvert as well as a very successful internist and an exceptionally effective leader of case conferences (teaching residents). Your essay would resonate with that dean.

Work on your secondaries and begin thinking about how to help your personality shine during interviews so that interviewers see the positives of your personality and that you are not at all withdrawn or unable to carry on a conversation.

 

[candbgirl]

There is nothing you can do at this point except move on and start writing those secondaries. If you continue to obsess over your PS you’ll make yourself crazy and that might spill over into your secondaries. Just let it go. It can’t be changed so move forward with confidence. Good luck. Oh and let us know how things work out.

 

[DarkBluMage]

It’s a waste of your time and energy to focus on something you can’t change. Keep pushing forward. If you end up not getting accepted anywhere then you can spend your energy reevaluating your personal statement for a new application cycle but you don’t know what’s going to happen or where you’ll get accepted to. Just relax and focus on what you can control right now and that’s your secondary responses and interview performance.

 

[deleted1100659]

Hi,
I submitted my primary app just recently and am now digging myself into a hole about my PS. I’m doubting myself and the way I presented my story out of fear that it will be either consciously or unconsciously off-putting to Adcoms. Basically looking for some reassurance and/or someone to tell me to snap out of it – gotta focus on my secondaries but I can’t get these doubts out of my head.

Rundown of my PS:
I start with how a large part of my childhood was people commenting on my quietness/shyness, and how as a child I was ashamed of this/saw this as a negative. I transition into how I’ve come to terms with my personality to see this shyness as a strength/positive because it is the foundation for the part of my personality that I do take pride in – being observant, detail-oriented, and skilled at taking in and integrating information before deciding how to act or to solve a problem. The bulk of my essay focuses on this positive, and I use my examples/anecdotes to show my progression from initial shame to realizing how I can apply these traits in my work/volunteer experiences. I basically come to say that want to be a doctor because I feel it’s the job where I can use these skills/traits to do the most good (see patients holistically and treat them as humans rather than conditions).

My thoughts now:

• I know there is the perception that being shy, timid, etc. is in itself undesirable. My examples illustrate that I seek out and have formed interpersonal relationships, have great patient interactions, etc. (aka I’m not just a fly on the wall with nothing to say). That being said, my essay isn’t necessarily about overcoming my shyness, but instead being able to embrace the shyness as a part of me and essentially transform it to do good/serve others. My fear is that Adcoms may not see past the undesirability of the shyness/timidity, or that the undesirability will overshadow the self-awareness and change in self-perception that I did write about. I don’t want my story to leave a bad taste in their mouth because I highlighted something “negative” about myself.
• I hate to dwell on/overthink something so little but Dr. Gray’s book analyzes a PS example where he literally says that a student’s attempt to shine a positive light on her shyness isn’t a good look. Obviously the nuances in that PS and mine are different, but I feel pretty invalidated by that remark.

I know to wish I had done differently on something that I can’t change is pointless, and that different people will get something different out of my essay, etc. but I turned in my PS feeling like it genuinely illustrated my journey to med school and answered both the “who am I” and “why medicine” prompts and yet I am now so unconfident.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

If for some reason you didn't get into medical school, I can almost guarantee you that it wont be this reason.

everyone has different life experiences, believes, views, etc. I think the more concerning personal statements are the ones that sound like they're full of BS, which given the nature of how competitive it is, I would guess there are quite a few of those.

Learning to conquer how we view ourselves is a part of cognitive behavior therapy, you could easily argue that you applied aspects of CBT (perhaps unknowingly) to gain more self acceptance and to reshape how you perceive your strengths/weaknesses.