Personal statement: story or cover letter?

[Little Etoile]

I'm in the middle of this debate with my friend: do you think med school personal statements are supposed to read like a cover letter, or more like a story?

A few of my friends who read my personal statement commented that it was too flowery. I think this was especially because the story with which I framed my statement wasn't directly related to medicine or my qualities, but was instead discussing humanity, which lead into me talking about medicine and how that relates back to my story. Does that make sense? Sorry, that sounds confusing. It would kind of be like someone narrating a story about something that happened to them and ending with how this is an analogy for a career in medicine and what is required of one. Think of the story as the set-up of a joke, and the way it ties back to medicine as the punchline.

True, my story was used as a literary device and it's not necessary, but I also think that it makes the statement interesting and adds another dimension. However, my friends said I should cut that fluff and use that space to talk more about myself.

(Let it be known that they also have no ties to the medical field and are not applying themselves so they have no relevant knowledge base of comparison.)

I don't know that I trust their advice. They seem to be directing my statement more toward the style of a cover letter. There's nothing really wrong with that, but as an adcom, after about 3,000 of the standard "I became interested in medicine when..." essays, I'd be pretty stoked to come across a statement that was a little more captivating and "flowery". That's not to say that my personal statement wasn't professional or that I didn't make my case, but my statement reads more like a narrative chapter out of a book than a short dissertation. Am I off base? What is/was yours like, especially those of you with successful applications?

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[jamaicandoc]

I kind of ran into the same thing as you. My personal statement is quite similar to the way you described it. Instead of writing it in the traditional sense. When I wrote it last year some people, the more conservative ones didn't like the creative approach to my essay, but others loved it and regarded it as something very different from the thousands of essays and adcom reads. Though I didn't get many interviews, I doubt the essay can get you an interview if your numbers aren't good enough, but at both the places that I interviewed at my interviewers told me they loved my essay. The bottom line is: not everyone has the same style of writing, go with your gut feeling, if you like it and it's different I think your grades and achievements will speak somewhat for your motivation for a career in medicine. As long as it makes an adcom remember your essay and talks about why you want to do medicine, or why you're a good fit, I think you'll be fine.

 

[ButImLETired]

I'm in the middle of this debate with my friend: do you think med school personal statements are supposed to read like a cover letter, or more like a story?

A few of my friends who read my personal statement commented that it was too flowery. I think this was especially because the story with which I framed my statement wasn't directly related to medicine or my qualities, but was instead discussing humanity, which lead into me talking about medicine and how that relates back to my story. Does that make sense? Sorry, that sounds confusing. It would kind of be like someone narrating a story about something that happened to them and ending with how this is an analogy for a career in medicine and what is required of one. Think of the story as the set-up of a joke, and the way it ties back to medicine as the punchline.

True, my story was used as a literary device and it's not necessary, but I also think that it makes the statement interesting and adds another dimension. However, my friends said I should cut that fluff and use that space to talk more about myself.

(Let it be known that they also have no ties to the medical field and are not applying themselves so they have no relevant knowledge base of comparison.)

I don't know that I trust their advice. They seem to be directing my statement more toward the style of a cover letter. There's nothing really wrong with that, but as an adcom, after about 3,000 of the standard "I became interested in medicine when..." essays, I'd be pretty stoked to come across a statement that was a little more captivating and "flowery". That's not to say that my personal statement wasn't professional or that I didn't make my case, but my statement reads more like a narrative chapter out of a book than a short dissertation. Am I off base? What is/was yours like, especially those of you with successful applications?

Hi! I'm applying this year too, so I can't give you advice as a successful applicant, but I did speak to a lot of pre-med committee members from my undergrad before writing my statement, and apparently our pre-med adviser is one of the best in the country (no idea who ranks them, but anyway) so hopefully she gave me good advice.
My first statement draft started with a story involving me and then explained how it is relevant to my plan to go into medicine. She wrote me back, telling me to cut down on the fluff and that starting with a story is an "overdone mechanism" to get the adcoms' attention. However, it sounds like the story in your case is not involving you, so you can think about whether it is obviously a way to grab their attention or whether it's interesting enough that it won't be a clear ploy on your part.
That being said, I do think you're a better judge of whether an essay really depicts who YOU are as a person than any premed adviser or friend. Honestly, it's all about showing your personality, I think. Hope this helps!

 

[ACSurgeon]

I'm in the middle of this debate with my friend: do you think med school personal statements are supposed to read like a cover letter, or more like a story?

A few of my friends who read my personal statement commented that it was too flowery. I think this was especially because the story with which I framed my statement wasn't directly related to medicine or my qualities, but was instead discussing humanity, which lead into me talking about medicine and how that relates back to my story. Does that make sense? Sorry, that sounds confusing. It would kind of be like someone narrating a story about something that happened to them and ending with how this is an analogy for a career in medicine and what is required of one. Think of the story as the set-up of a joke, and the way it ties back to medicine as the punchline.

True, my story was used as a literary device and it's not necessary, but I also think that it makes the statement interesting and adds another dimension. However, my friends said I should cut that fluff and use that space to talk more about myself.

(Let it be known that they also have no ties to the medical field and are not applying themselves so they have no relevant knowledge base of comparison.)

I don't know that I trust their advice. They seem to be directing my statement more toward the style of a cover letter. There's nothing really wrong with that, but as an adcom, after about 3,000 of the standard "I became interested in medicine when..." essays, I'd be pretty stoked to come across a statement that was a little more captivating and "flowery". That's not to say that my personal statement wasn't professional or that I didn't make my case, but my statement reads more like a narrative chapter out of a book than a short dissertation. Am I off base? What is/was yours like, especially those of you with successful applications?

Take that advice!

 

[Bahadur]

hmm... sorry i can't add anything useful or helpful, but i have the same exact problem.

The person who read it said it was nice but wayyy too flowery, and that it shows that i'm a nice/normal person but not "physician/scientist material".

Her suggestion was to make science the holy be all and end all of the universe, and to praise medicine and say that i want to cure a disease or something along those lines.

I'm not really sure what to do at this point. It seems that everyone is trying so hard to be different and unique that in the end we all end up sounding the same... minus a few here and there.

 

[Bahadur]

Oh btw, i'm a reapplicant. My first cycle PS, people either loved it or hated it. Though none of my interviewers themselves mentioned anything.

I think that you should just be yourself. Don't try to impress, let your voice speak for itself. Then again, I'm a failed applicant so my advice probably isn't really worthy of taking into consideration.

 

[Bacchus]

I started writing my personal statment as a cover letter and then I realized there were too many big things to mention. Trying to build each experience up, I ended up at about 700 characters over the limit. I then got help from great people on here and told a story while highlighting myself and my strong attributes and cut it down considerably. I would focus on 2 or 3 events and let them be the embodiment of your motivations.

 

[Kneige]

I would suggest more of a story cuz somebody needs to connect with you. It shouldn't be business-like. All you need is one person to speak up for you and you're in for the interview. At least, that's what I've heard.

 

[Maxwell Edison]

Do you think med school personal statements are supposed to read like a cover letter, or more like a story?

A few of my friends who read my personal statement commented that it was too flowery...it would kind of be like someone narrating a story about something that happened to them and ending with how this is an analogy for a career in medicine and what is required of one. Think of the story as the set-up of a joke, and the way it ties back to medicine as the punchline.

...True, my story was used as a literary device and it's not necessary, but I also think that it makes the statement interesting and adds another dimension. However, my friends said I should cut that fluff and use that space to talk more about myself.

...There's nothing really wrong with that, but as an adcom, after about 3,000 of the standard "I became interested in medicine when..." essays, I'd be pretty stoked to come across a statement that was a little more captivating and "flowery".

Although I think that the personal statement should contain narrative elements, it is not a "story." What I gather from your post is that you've written some kind of parable. This is problematic. Not because admissions committees are incapable of following the logic that "X is like medicine" but that the comparison is usually way out of the box (for example, "being the Santa Claus at the mall is like medicine because..." or something similar).

The fact is, you're essentially producing a memoir in essay format, which means that the piece should be a "story" in so far as it is biographical.

As for the "flowery" stuff: if people are calling it flowery, it's not because they don't like fresh diction or clever turns of phrase; it's because you've not integrated them seamlessly enough to go unnoticed. This makes them seem superfluous, if not absent-minded.

There's a reason most people write the personal statement in the same way, and it's not [always] because they lack creativity. It's because this is the format that works. Every story, regardless of the details, will ultimately reduce to one of the same four or five basic reasons to go into medicine, and you don't want your one reason and the stuff leading up to it to be a joke, either literally or metaphorically.