Pharm School and Motherhood: Co-existance possible?

[kkokgee]

Hi guys,

Im 30 yrs old, and will apply to pharm school this summer and will hopefully start during the fall semester of the next year. My husband and I are debating whether i should try having a baby now, or during the second year of pharm school or wait until i am done.

1. Baby now: Assuming that we are fortunate and I am pregnant right away and that I have the baby prior to the start of Pharm school, i am worried about the pressures of motherhood and pharm school colliding.

2. Baby second year of pharm school: My husband thinks that after the first year, I will be better adjusted to the school environment and that I may be able to balance things better.

3. AFter pharm school: My concern is that every year that I get older, it gets harder and harder to have a baby. I will be 35 years old by the time that my pharm school studies are done.


I spoke to two of my female professors and they think its better to wait until im completely done with school.

Would it be extremely difficult to have a baby and go to school at the same time?

Any thoughts on this will be very helpful for me!! Especially from Moms who have had to face this issue.

Thanks in advance for your help!

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[Amanda C]

Hi guys,

Im 30 yrs old, and will apply to pharm school this summer and will hopefully start during the fall semester of the next year. My husband and I are debating whether i should try having a baby now, or during the second year of pharm school or wait until i am done.

1. Baby now: Assuming that we are fortunate and I am pregnant right away and that I have the baby prior to the start of Pharm school, i am worried about the pressures of motherhood and pharm school colliding.

2. Baby second year of pharm school: My husband thinks that after the first year, I will be better adjusted to the school environment and that I may be able to balance things better.

3. AFter pharm school: My concern is that every year that I get older, it gets harder and harder to have a baby. I will be 35 years old by the time that my pharm school studies are done.


I spoke to two of my female professors and they think its better to wait until im completely done with school.

Would it be extremely difficult to have a baby and go to school at the same time?

Any thoughts on this will be very helpful for me!! Especially from Moms who have had to face this issue.

Thanks in advance for your help!

I am a mother too, and my daughter will be about 6 when I start Pharm school. I suggest you wait until after, because during pharm school you will be under stress, demanding schedules, and not to mention tons of studying. Getting used to motherhood may take time, and you'll want that time to bond with your baby rather than have him/her and then put them in childcare or the care of someone else while you are gone most of the day.

I am lucky because my daughter will be of school age when I start, and old enough to "do her own thing" at home if and when I need to study.

On the other hand, if you are really concerned about your age when it's time to have a baby after school, maybe you should ask your doc. what they think. Some women who are in really good health and take good care of themselves are able to have kids long after thirty (although I don't know how enjoyable it would be to have a kid at the age of 50 - my grandma did it!)

If you are ok with the idea of putting your child in the care of someone else for long periods of time, then maybe you should have the baby before you start pharm school, so that at least you could bond with him/her for a little while, maybe breastfeed, before the massive amounts of study time kicks in.

 

[Knickerbocker]

I would wait, unless you really can't for some reason.

However, some schools think people can handle it - for example the University of Texas gives single mothers extra points on their application. Some people can do well, but things are certainly harder with kids.

 

[mustang sally]

Okay, I'm going to go against the grain and say don't wait. Women are at their peak fertility in their twenties, so anything after 30 is really a crap shoot. And of course, I know plenty of women who have had babies at 35 and older. It's not impossible. Of course having a baby at any point during pharmacy school will be stressful. In my opinion, having a baby under the best of circumstances is stressful (but hey, maybe that's just me). I think it really just comes down to how you prioritize things. If you wait for four or five years and then find it difficult or impossible to have a child, will you be devastated? Do you want to have multiple children? Do you think you can handle motherhood and attending school at the same time?

I'm dealing with a similar situation myself (although I already have kid #1), so I can sort of relate.

 

[SexyPlexi]

I HEAR it is possible...search that topic. On the pharmacy board people say that there are multiple people with kids in pharm school - or have a baby (or 2) during that time. I personally am having trouble just balancing working full time, PRE pharmacy classes, and making sure my husband feels like I am still alive. I am hoping he will adjust...he is not as far sighted as I am. Once it's all said and done I bet he will be happy about it. He wants a baby asap. I am in almost the same situation as you (will be [hopefully] 31 when I graduate)...and I have the same worries. I'm not sure how things will unfold. I guess my post isn't helpful...but I relate to you.

 

[rxlynn]

Hi guys,

Im 30 yrs old, and will apply to pharm school this summer and will hopefully start during the fall semester of the next year. My husband and I are debating whether i should try having a baby now, or during the second year of pharm school or wait until i am done.

1. Baby now: Assuming that we are fortunate and I am pregnant right away and that I have the baby prior to the start of Pharm school, i am worried about the pressures of motherhood and pharm school colliding.

2. Baby second year of pharm school: My husband thinks that after the first year, I will be better adjusted to the school environment and that I may be able to balance things better.

3. AFter pharm school: My concern is that every year that I get older, it gets harder and harder to have a baby. I will be 35 years old by the time that my pharm school studies are done.


I spoke to two of my female professors and they think its better to wait until im completely done with school.

Would it be extremely difficult to have a baby and go to school at the same time?

Any thoughts on this will be very helpful for me!! Especially from Moms who have had to face this issue.

Thanks in advance for your help!

Well, I'm not sure what I think about before or after, but I would definitely say a big NO to during school. Unless you are very lucky and you can count very well, you might end up having the baby while school was going on. And, you can really never predict what will happen with a pregnancy - you could have complications and not be able to go to school right up to your delivery date. Most pharmacy schools will only teach their required classes once per year, so if for any reason you have to stop in the middle of the semester, you will more than likely have to sit out and wait an entire year to continue.

My personal experience was that I was in no way ready to return to work before 12 weeks with my first baby - she did not sleep through the night well and I really needed that time off. I can't imagine how awful that would have been if I had been trying to balance school at the same time. Good luck - I know it's a huge decision!

 

[cycloketocaine]

Hi guys,

Im 30 yrs old, and will apply to pharm school this summer and will hopefully start during the fall semester of the next year. My husband and I are debating whether i should try having a baby now, or during the second year of pharm school or wait until i am done.

1. Baby now: Assuming that we are fortunate and I am pregnant right away and that I have the baby prior to the start of Pharm school, i am worried about the pressures of motherhood and pharm school colliding.

2. Baby second year of pharm school: My husband thinks that after the first year, I will be better adjusted to the school environment and that I may be able to balance things better.

3. AFter pharm school: My concern is that every year that I get older, it gets harder and harder to have a baby. I will be 35 years old by the time that my pharm school studies are done.


I spoke to two of my female professors and they think its better to wait until im completely done with school.

Would it be extremely difficult to have a baby and go to school at the same time?

Any thoughts on this will be very helpful for me!! Especially from Moms who have had to face this issue.

Thanks in advance for your help!

I think it is doable with a toddler, but I don't know about an infant. I have a 3 year old, and it is very possible, with a good support system. However, there are a couple of girls who have gotten pregnant, and some of them continue in the program, and some of them don't. I think it all depends on you and your situation.

 

[Knickerbocker]

Okay, I'm going to go against the grain and say don't wait. Women are at their peak fertility in their twenties, so anything after 30 is really a crap shoot.

It's kind of a crap shoot at any age, really. There is no guarantee of conception at any age. And the drop off isn't sharp until you get to be about 40.

From http://health.discovery.com/centers/pregnancy/americanbaby/fertilityandage.html :

How Old is Too Old to Have a Baby?
According to the Mayo Clinic, a woman's fertility peaks between the ages of 20 and 24. However, fertility rates remain relatively constant through the early 30s, after which they begin to decline:

At age 30 to 35, fertility is 15 to 20 percent below maximum. From age 35 to 39, the decrease is 25 to 50 percent. From 40 to 45, the decrease is 50 to 95 percent.

20% below maximum at 35 seems minor to me. And considering that peak is 20-24 years of age, you have to wonder how much below peak teenagers are when we have no shortage of teen pregnancies in the US.

 

[PharmDnPhD]

I think a lot of factors come into play in this type of situation. It depends on the school you are attending and the curriculum (is it a 4yr or 3yr school, etc.). I have a son who is turning 12 this year and he was only 4 when I started college. I was a single mother until he was 8 years old and I did most of my undergraduate coursework single! It is hard and I can't imagine having to do pharmacy school as a single parent! I am going to be 32 yrs old soon and I will be starting pharmacy school this fall. I will be 35 when I graduate also and it kind of scares me to have a baby this late because of the increased possibility for a Down-Syndrome baby. This scares me more than how old I will be if I was to have a child that late. It would be very difficult for me to have a child like this...I know it can be done..."Kudos" to those moms who are able to manage and take care of such children! Well, good luck on whatever you decide! I also don't think I would have a baby during pharmacy school!!

 

[Happy Hounds]

I too am "in this boat" so-to-speak. I'm a returning student and will be 31 when I'm finished with Pharmacy School, and I'm fine with waiting until after that time to have a baby (and get FMLA!) But my husband has his biological clock majorly ticking and wants a baby asap. Doesn't make sense to me why--it's just a pre-conceived notion of "when" you're "supposed" to have babies. I guess I don't really follow that, b/c my mom had my older half-brother at 23, me when she was 42 and then my little brother at 45. I don't see how waiting until I'm 31 is such a big deal. It would be different if he were the one actually carrying the baby and needing to recuperate and breastfeed after the birth.

But I also have the benefit of 2 sets of parents living nearby (and retired) to help out (and fight over who gets the baby.) I guess I don't really know the extent to which infants truly need their mother for the first 12 weeks or if by a combination of my husband taking FMLA, plus my parents and my inlaws helping out if things would be ok. Then again, that doesn't take into account any physical issues that might arise from a bad pregnancy or complications. Ladies, how do you convince your (extremely stubborn) husband that 4 more years is not such a big deal?

OP--if you have family to help with a new baby, I think it's possible, though may not be pleasant. And if you are lucky and able to "time" the birth to a break in school, you can get some more time to be at home with the baby.

 

[mustang sally]

Ladies, how do you convince your (extremely stubborn) husband that 4 more years is not such a big deal?

Maybe borrow someone else's baby and let him take care of it by himself for a few days? Of course, that could just cement his desire to have a child even more.

To the OP-you should check out the MomMD forums. Granted these women are in medical school (which I would imagine is even more time intensive than pharmacy school), but they talk about these kind of issues a lot. You might be able to get better advice from a forum that is made up of predominantly moms.

 

[leochick]

Hi guys,

Im 30 yrs old, and will apply to pharm school this summer and will hopefully start during the fall semester of the next year. My husband and I are debating whether i should try having a baby now, or during the second year of pharm school or wait until i am done.

1. Baby now: Assuming that we are fortunate and I am pregnant right away and that I have the baby prior to the start of Pharm school, i am worried about the pressures of motherhood and pharm school colliding.

2. Baby second year of pharm school: My husband thinks that after the first year, I will be better adjusted to the school environment and that I may be able to balance things better.

3. AFter pharm school: My concern is that every year that I get older, it gets harder and harder to have a baby. I will be 35 years old by the time that my pharm school studies are done.


I spoke to two of my female professors and they think its better to wait until im completely done with school.

Would it be extremely difficult to have a baby and go to school at the same time?

Any thoughts on this will be very helpful for me!! Especially from Moms who have had to face this issue.

Thanks in advance for your help!

I am so glad you started this thread. Your situation is very similar to my own. I turn 32 this summer and am starting pharmacy school in the fall. My husband and I are also trying to decide when the best time to have a baby would be. I really do not want to wait until I finish school, as I will be 36. For me, it is too late to have one now before I start school. We are thinking during the second year of pharmacy school so I could deliver in the summer between 2nd and 3rd year. I am nervous that there could be complications, morning sickness, fatigue, etc that could hinder my education. I am also looking for advice on this subject. Is there an ideal time to have a baby during the four years of pharmacy school?

 

[PharmApp2008]

I wondered the same thing since I was feeling like I would be too old (or cutting it close) when I graduate. I will be 31 then. My husband though is definately not pushing for kids anytime soon! I think he could go either way on having them during school, but it would be mostly up to me. From talking to people and thinking reasonably, I think I will wait until I am finished. I am very scared about the risk to my schooling (complications, sickness, etc). Plus there is the financial strain. Also, I don't want to limit my options for residencies and interacting with other students. So any of you who want to try, keep me posted! You go first! LOL.

 

[JimblyUK]

Have you considered waiting before you apply to Pharmacy school? Have a kid now (well, in a year or so allowing for being in the oven), then when the kid is 18 months, put the kid in daycare. Basically wait 2.5 years before you enter, so apply for 2010 entry instead, maybe even 2011. You won't be too old to do Pharmacy at 32/33.

I don't know your situation/background, but in the meantime you could get a Pharm Tech job to get more experience which would strengthen your application, and give you extra money to support you through school. We pay $840 per month for daycare

The only problem with my suggestion is that if the kid gets sick you need a backup when they can't go to daycare.

 

[labrat024]

Well I am also in a similar situation....my wife is due about two weeks after school starts for me this fall! However, it is obviously a slightly different situation for me because I am a dude. I won't have to deal with the actual pregnancy and I won't have to go through the recuperation phase either. So I will definitely have it a little easier. I will let you all know how it goes when school starts....wish me luck. I personally feel that you should try to conceive well before school starts (get your freak on right now!) so that you have time to recuperate and adjust to motherhood. It will also be much better if your child is not an infant when school starts. If you wait to school is done you'll be kinda old (but not really). It will be good to go into a job interview and be able to tell them that you don't plan on going on maternity leave because you are done with having children. It is an unspoken truth that employers discriminate against women for maternity leave reasons. GO FOR IT NOW! My wife plans on going to PT school after I graduate and have finished having children. That's our plan.

 

[Hels2007]

Second year is the worst choice, that's when the real pharmacy classes start, and workload increases, and most people's grades dip. Have a kid now or after school is over.

 

[Amanda C]

Have you considered waiting before you apply to Pharmacy school? Have a kid now (well, in a year or so allowing for being in the oven), then when the kid is 18 months, put the kid in daycare. Basically wait 2.5 years before you enter, so apply for 2010 entry instead, maybe even 2011. You won't be too old to do Pharmacy at 32/33.

I don't know your situation/background, but in the meantime you could get a Pharm Tech job to get more experience which would strengthen your application, and give you extra money to support you through school. We pay $840 per month for daycare

The only problem with my suggestion is that if the kid gets sick you need a backup when they can't go to daycare.

That is great advice right there.

 

[shal]

I was in the same situation several years ago and decided to have a baby before school since I did not want to wait till I was in my 30's. However, my daughter was 8 months when I started pharmacy school rather than newborn. I wouldn't have done it any other way so I agree with the pp who suggested waiting to apply to school.

Do you have good family support? There will be times when your child will be sick and you need to study for an exam or work on a project etc. I was lucky that my parents were always there for me.

 

[Moxxie]

Well, for my sake, I certainly hope that the two go together. Although it wasn't planned, I'll be having my first baby this July (in between P2 and P3 years). There are several other girls in the P3 and P4 classes that have had babies during school (one of them had TWINS in October!), and all of them are still in school - they just pump in between classes and go to their daycare as often as they can.

It helps that ISU is so family friendly - there are a LOT of parents here. Most of the faculty is very understanding when it comes to family emergencies, and a lot of students will bring their babies/kids in to meet everyone. So far, one of the girls in my class has had to bring her 3 year old TO CLASS a couple of times, but she was very quiet and not a disruption.

What I'm worried about most is the daycare situation. I've always wanted to stay home for the first 6 months or so with a newborn, but I obviously won't be able to do that - the baby will be barely 6 weeks old when school starts again in August. The cost bothers me, but what stresses me out the most is that someone else will be taking care of my child. It's also going to be a challenge because our first module P3 year is pretty intense (Infectious Disease), so I hope that I can keep up. I just have to pray that I have a quick recovery from labor and don't experience post partum depression.

As to the original poster's situation, I think that being a mom is doable during pharmacy school - but if I had had my choice, I would have either had a baby before or waited until afterwards.

 

[keepingthehope]

I think you should wait until you're done with school to have a baby because having a baby is a lot of work, emotionally and physically.

 

[CYNTO]

As a mother of two (6 & 3) yrs of age, I'll till you from experience that it might be better to have a baby now, wait after one yr and start apllying to pharm. sch. (from 2009, for 2010 and upward acedemice years cycle). Age is but a number. Who cares if you got in when u're 33 or 34 yrs old?. At least u'll know by then that you have at least one child already. Then after sch you could have more if u like or try and get pregnat sometime during the break in yr P3. Afterwards, this will be the proffesion you going to be doing for the rest of yr life. Meanwhile u could use this period to increase yr gpa, get experince and keep doing whatever u've got to do to make you a very compertative applicant by the time u're going to apply, and then shoot mostly for 3-yr pharm schs. I just got accepted this fall @ 32 yrs. Why are we moms trying to get a doctorate degree?. Well, personally for me is mostly all for the kids.

Moreso, put this issue in prayers it's only the Lord that can give you diven directions and try and make sure u and yr spouse are on the same level of aggrement.

 

[tashka]

This is very interesting thread. I wonder why nobody considers taking leave of absence for a year to be with the baby. Sometimes people go on leave of absence when they are ill or unable to cope with classes, or have some serious situation in the family. Why not after the baby? It is not ideal choice, but I think it is better than going through demanding program when baby is so small and in constant need of attention. You would miss a year, but it will be a year well spent. And is it really so horrible to miss a year?
I would really like to hear what you all think about this.
As far as the time to have a baby, there is never good time for career women. After pharmacy school some might do residency-it is even more demanding. If after graduation you go to work and have baby, maternity leave is very short too. But out of all situations I would consider having the baby while continuing in pharmacy school/residency the worst possible idea.
Unless, of course, somebody else will be taking care of the baby. In my class there are several ladies who had babies right before pharmacy school, and they have their mothers taking care of the baby full time. They not only stay at school, but also work and participate in different clubs and extracurricular activities. But not everybody has such luxuries.