Please help. I just don’t know what I am doing wrong.

[sadMP]

My life is messed up because of Steps. I did not get a good score in NBME yet I was forced to take Step1 exam. Now I failed with 177.

The report said I had no high performance areas. Few were borderline and most were low performance.

It is almost 7 years from graduation for me. I gave a yearlong trial to studying Kaplan books. I don’t know what else to do……..I feel like killing myself. Even if I want to give this another try I don't know what to study and how to study....Please, guide me.

I don’t have friends and keep locked up in my room because of the Steps.
Please, help.

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[witzelsucht]

All right, take a deep breath. Couple things going on here:

1) You need to see some sort of mental health professional ASAP. If you are depressed, you will not be able to perform at your best.

2) If I'm reading this correctly, you took a year off and just did kaplan books? The conventional wisdom is to use first aid and U World to prepare. Did you use those? If not - that might be a big part of the problem

3) Don't kill yourself.

4) Do you really want to be a doctor? I only ask because a lot of these step 1 fail posts have some content about blah blah i always wanted to be a doctor and in yours this is conspicuously absent, but I may be reading too much into this.

5) I'm not gonna retype the whole step 1 forum for you, but there's plenty of guides on how to do well on step 1. Pathoma, UWorld, first aid, rapid review are some of the most commonly recommended resources, so you better fix on gettin them.

 

[Brain Bucket]

You were forced to? Elaborate please.

The answers to your questions can be found in the scores and experiences thread. Going off a gut feeling, your primary issues are poor time/resource management and motivation. Two ways to get around this. 1. Man up 2. Sign up for one of those usmle boot camps (assuming you're not short on resources, which you don't appear to be). I wouldn't normally advocate this, but I think you need the structure.

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk 4

 

[sadMP]

Yes, I want to be a doctor. I did do FA and UW but my UW scores were not coming well the first time.
I tried doing it the second time but my extended triplet was expiring and I was only able to do 1000 of the UW questions thoroughly. I made a blunder of appearing in the exam and now my professional life is also messed up. As it is my personal life is dead just because I am not able to pass the Steps and earn for my family.

I want to study smartly for my retake exam. What should I do?

Should I revise FA and do UW and Kaplan MCQs?
or
Should I re-read the Kaplan series course, Golgin text book for patho, FA and do UW and Kaplan MCQs?

I don't know how to approach my re-take exam.

I agree that I need to get my mental health checked and it's becoming a big issue now.

 

[sadMP]

Forced cus my family dynamics is crazy. Not my own parents but my inlaws don't understand the importance of a good score. All they want is me to just get over with the exams and start residency to assist in the family income.

I tried telling them but they won't listen. I almost had a break up when I first postponed my exam and extended my triplet. In between domestic violence issues, cops and court dates, I had to give my exam cus that was one of the condition of saving my marriage.

I want to have the winning retake strategy because this is my last chance to get thru with this exam and my marriage.

 

[alisepeep]

You need to take a deep breath and realize that 5 years from now your score will not matter. This is just your problem at the moment and until you match, after that you can forget about this horrible exam. What you need to do is breathe, and take a long look at what areas you are weak in. Then formulate a plan using Pathoma, First Aid, and most importantly U World. If you have time you can add in some Goljan. If you are truly weak in the material, the Kaplan videos are fantastic. But if you are pretty good with the overall picture, they are very time consuming so you can very well go without them. Don't freak out, the stress will only make this worse. Start from scratch. Make sure you go thru Qbank at least 2 times, and figure out why you are getting questions wrong.
In the long run this is just a ridiculous test that serves no indication of what kind of doctor you will make. I would much rather go to a doctor with a 192 who listens to me and has great communication skills than some elitist 250 dork who does not know how to talk to patients. You will get thru this, listen to me. Just start over and do it right this time. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

 

[Brain Bucket]

Forced cus my family dynamics is crazy. Not my own parents but my inlaws don't understand the importance of a good score. All they want is me to just get over with the exams and start residency to assist in the family income.

I tried telling them but they won't listen. I almost had a break up when I first postponed my exam and extended my triplet. In between domestic violence issues, cops and court dates, I had to give my exam cus that was one of the condition of saving my marriage.

I want to have the winning retake strategy because this is my last chance to get thru with this exam and my marriage.

First off, I feel their frustration if you took a year to just prepare for the step...but...the rest of the stuff is totally messed up. Do you really want that family in your life...FOREVER? Is the family southeast Asian?

I suspected something similar...so if you have the money, I recommend you enroll in a reputable live course, not one of those scams they have running. Well, I'd say all the courses are scams, but here you'll at least live away from your messed up family in an environment conducive to passing well until your test. The rest is upto you. Realize that whoever you pick will not guarantee a good score...you have to do that yourself.

 

[sadMP]

You are correct I need to focus on this as a temp problem.
I plan to restart from UW and Qbank....meanwhile I will keep revising my weakest topics from Golgin and Kaplan text at least. I have made additions in my FA but it seems recall is an issue especially in the 1.5 minute.
Thank you so much for showing me the light.

 

[sadMP]

I have been bouncing between these very questions of having such a greedy inlaws. Unfortunately most South East Asian families have this expectations. It is difficult to swallow but I don't want my life's unfortunate events to have any effect on my own parents and siblings. I was on the verge of filing for divorce after the domestic violence incident but I saw the bigger picture of my parents and siblings happiness.
I think I can ask my husband to give me break from the daily, joint-family system stressors. After all it is his gain too.
Life was so simple and happy till I tied the knot and moved across the world.

 

[Brain Bucket]

I have been bouncing between these very questions of having such a greedy inlaws. Unfortunately most South East Asian families have this expectations. It is difficult to swallow but I don't want my life's unfortunate events to have any effect on my own parents and siblings. I was on the verge of filing for divorce after the domestic violence incident but I saw the bigger picture of my parents and siblings happiness.
I think I can ask my husband to give me break from the daily, joint-family system stressors. After all it is his gain too.
Life was so simple and happy till I tied the knot and moved across the world.

Jesus...erm...Shiva... I thought you were a guy. Divorce his ass now if you have money to support yourself and are already in the States and have no Kids and are reasonably good looking. Your happiness affects your parents' and siblings' happiness. I just don't understand the stupid ****s who beat their wives. If you can't support yourself just yet, wait it out until you can, and then dump his ass.

 

[JP2740]

lol you need to divorce immediately, before you begin studying. And then focus your new life on yourself.

 

[cher25]

Jesus...erm...Shiva... I thought you were a guy. Divorce his ass now if you have money to support yourself and are already in the States and have no Kids and are reasonably good looking. Your happiness affects your parents' and siblings' happiness. I just don't understand the stupid ****s who beat their wives. If you can't support yourself just yet, wait it out until you can, and then dump his ass.

and if she's not reasonably good looking? i agree with your post but that bit is a little annoying.

 

[Brain Bucket]

I'm all for empowering women, but we live in a world with certain realities. Her level of attractiveness will positively correlate with how Quickly she will become self sufficient. Look up studies matching looks with income.

I'm not always right, but this is my advice, not to make her feel better in the short term, but to make her life better in the long term, and I stand by it. I appreciate your candid criticism.

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk 4

 

[redpanda]

I'm all for empowering women, but we live in a world with certain realities. Her level of attractiveness will positively correlate with how Quickly she will become self sufficient. Look up studies matching looks with income.

I'm not always right, but this is my advice, not to make her feel better in the short term, but to make her life better in the long term, and I stand by it. I appreciate your candid criticism.

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk 4

I have no idea where these studies are, and I'm not about to go looking for them, but I suspect that your assumption of a causative effect of looks on income is not as linear as it seems. As we all know, the more income you have, the more disposable income is available to spend on things like a gym membership, cosmetics, haircuts and other self-care products as well as (possibly) more time to do these things and get sleep, all of which tend to make you look better. A lot of guys don't realize that there is often a significant amount of effort and cosmetics behind what they believe is a "natural" looking face and body.

 

[Signorina]

Back to Step 1.

If you do this, do this for YOU. Be kinder to yourself. Your in-laws, and any dysfunctional relationship for that matter, is not worth it.

I can't give you any advice on Step 1, but if you need to brush up and reinforce the basics here's a good Anki deck some kind souls put together (they ankified First Aid) and gave away.

Install Anki (free): http://ankisrs.net/
Download the Step 1 deck (7,500 cards from First Aid): https://ankiweb.net/shared/info/3564661858

 

[Brain Bucket]

I have no idea where these studies are, and I'm not about to go looking for them, but I suspect that your assumption of a causative effect of looks on income is not as linear as it seems. As we all know, the more income you have, the more disposable income is available to spend on things like a gym membership, cosmetics, haircuts and other self-care products as well as (possibly) more time to do these things and get sleep, all of which tend to make you look better. A lot of guys don't realize that there is often a significant amount of effort and cosmetics behind what they believe is a "natural" looking face and body.

You'd be surprised at how much guys realize.

It doesn't take much to find em. Just need to Google two words. ' Attractiveness success'. It will become evident very quickly that the link is causal.

This is the wrong forum for this discussion so this will be my last post regarding this topic.

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk 4

 

[sadMP]

Thank you for the information about Anki. I am downloading it. Hopefully it will help me.

This discussion has made me realized that I was the one holding myself back from a lot of things. You identified it correctly that I am forcing my own self to please others. Now it is time to do things for my own self and be on my own feet.

I am learning to keep relaxed. Need to refocus my energy in studying smartly.

Thank you for being supportive. It means a lot to me cus it gave me insight to where I was going wrong even in my personal life.

 

[Signorina]

Thank you for the information about Anki. I am downloading it. Hopefully it will help me.

This discussion has made me realized that I was the one holding myself back from a lot of things. You identified it correctly that I am forcing my own self to please others. Now it is time to do things for my own self and be on my own feet.

I am learning to keep relaxed. Need to refocus my energy in studying smartly.

Thank you for being supportive. It means a lot to me cus it gave me insight to where I was going wrong even in my personal life.

Yes, it's too painful to force yourself through this to please others, or if you feel you "have to" do this.

I've said it once recently, remind yourself "I do NOT HAVE to do this... I WANT to do this" (and deep inside, mean it!).

It's a completely different approach, mentality, and different energy altogether. To me, it's made a world of a difference.

On Anki, set the daily card limit to a reasonable amount to can keep up with, and stick with it. I do wish you the best. Buono studio!

 

[cher25]

I'm all for empowering women, but we live in a world with certain realities. Her level of attractiveness will positively correlate with how Quickly she will become self sufficient. Look up studies matching looks with income.

I'm not always right, but this is my advice, not to make her feel better in the short term, but to make her life better in the long term, and I stand by it. I appreciate your candid criticism.

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Tapatalk 4

again, I can appreciate your viewpoint and we are all entitled to our opinions but I'd argue that she should get out of the marriage regardless of her looks. Fleeing a bad and abusive marriage should not be contingent on how successful one can become with or without it. But that's just my opinion.

 

[Guyton Killah]

To the Op. You probably did not perform well on your first attempt because you were depressed. Try to get rid of your stressors before you give it another shot. You can lock yourself in your little room for the whole year, but as long as your brain is messed up, you wont gain anything.

 

[Anastomoses]

eeek! get rid of the guy when you can. do not let him get you pregnant. you can help your family with money when you pass and start earning. get rid of those in laws you married!!!

 

[emelizabeth]

Yes, please, please divorce him as soon as possible. There are many men out there who would value your happiness above all else and never dream of laying a hand on you. You deserve one of them, not an abusive husband and in-laws who place extremely unreasonable demands on you. This setup may be what you are used to, but it does NOT have to be that way, and should not. If you remain, you are throwing your life away. Relationships - especially lifelong ones - should be built on mutual respect and MUTUAL, genuine love. Real love: caring for another's well-being even more than you care for your own. Nobody is caring for you right now. You have the power to end your misery. Family ties are important, but when family ties are strangling you to the point of depression, you must loosen them. Family that actually strengthens can be found in new relationships and in friends who care.

Speaking of friends - you need them. You need to make time for some friends, and for finding friends if you don't have them now. Friends are vital! Someone to pour your heart out to can make all the difference. Alone in your room, your troubles are a black abyss. Just putting them into words over some coffee with the girl who lives down the hall from you can be freeing, and make things seem much more manageable. (That being said, you should also seek professional therapy as others have said. We could all benefit from it from time to time, but right now especially you need a professional to talk you through your emotions and your options.)

 

[cher25]

You need to take a deep breath and realize that 5 years from now your score will not matter. This is just your problem at the moment and until you match, after that you can forget about this horrible exam. What you need to do is breathe, and take a long look at what areas you are weak in. Then formulate a plan using Pathoma, First Aid, and most importantly U World. If you have time you can add in some Goljan. If you are truly weak in the material, the Kaplan videos are fantastic. But if you are pretty good with the overall picture, they are very time consuming so you can very well go without them. Don't freak out, the stress will only make this worse. Start from scratch. Make sure you go thru Qbank at least 2 times, and figure out why you are getting questions wrong.
In the long run this is just a ridiculous test that serves no indication of what kind of doctor you will make. I would much rather go to a doctor with a 192 who listens to me and has great communication skills than some elitist 250 dork who does not know how to talk to patients. You will get thru this, listen to me. Just start over and do it right this time. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

+1 Op I agree with this advice wholeheartedly. If you are 7 years out of med school as you stated, and after a year of prep you still received a 177 on STEP, then you likely have significant gaps in knowledge. I faced this issue when I was studying for my MCAT because I was several years out of undergrad when it was time for me to prep for that exam. For me, it was imperative to fill in the gaps in a systematic/ordered way. Random question sets and random topics were not sufficient for me initially. If I were you, I'd choose one comprehensive text in addition to first aid. This can be Kaplan, Goljan, or another... whichever you you prefer, just pick one. Overloading yourself with multiple resources can be overwhelming and counterproductive. In addition to this, I would utilize UWorld and/or Kaplan Q bank. Of course UWorld is a must. But Qbank can be helpful for systems review.

On your first pass, try to go through your comprehensive text subject by subject. Take your time to understand the topics that you're reading, even if you don't memorize. After each subject, do a question set on that particular topic. Some will disagree with me as it is widely recommended to do random question sets. But in my experience, when trying to fill in gaps in knowledge, this method of doing question sets by subject has helped reinforce the material. While going through the comprehensive text subject by subject, look at the respective topic/subject in first aid.

After you've done a thorough content review for understanding the material, then move on to the second phase, which is going through the first aid in another 1 to 2 passes to memorize the material. At this point, do random UWorld question sets as well.

If you have time and energy, Pathoma videos are great.

 

[sadMP]

I think starting with Kaplan is a good point to start. Hopefully will built on that...with Golgin....FA....Qbank and UW.

Had a good talk with my husband and the stressors are slowly subsiding. Of course that will take it's on time.

I appreciate each and everyone of you.
I HAVE to do this for my own self.

 

[primarycaretodd]

I know someone else recommended this before but just want to echo that seeing that it's been hard for you to get in the necessary studying independently it might be worth it to consider enrolling in some sort of course to at least give you structure and force you to be accountable to a study schedule. It may also help take a little bit of the burden of responsibility away from yourself.