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Possible to start a family while doing ENT residency?
- Thread starter Blackunicorn
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1) Know several ENT residents who have had children in residency. Definitely doable.
2) 6-6:30 is a little more accurate, but it depends on the service and program.
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So here's a sexist question: Are you male or female?
Generally it's harder for a female resident to have a baby during residency than it is for a male resident. I know how that sounds, but I'd challenge anyone to truthfully argue the point. However, if you're a female resident who has a husband that will stay home with the baby and you get back to work in a week or so as most male residents would do, it would be no different.
As a female, the leave you take to have that baby is a significant drain on your fellow residents who have to take up the slack created by your inability to take call or cover daily duties. Generally, male residents take less time than female residents. Not always, but it is a rule of thumb. If you take more than 6 weeks, you may be required by your residency to make that up on the tail end of your residency. That can affect fellowship applications, job prospects, etc. That's assuming your pregnancy is perfect. What happens if you need bedrest for 3 months, have such a pronounced belly that you cannot operate on cases that take longer than 3 hours, etc?
I started a family in residency (well my first child came with 5 months left of med school) and had a 2nd while in my 3rd year. My wife suffered severe post-partum depression, so for her and me, starting a family was brutal during that depression. I wasn't home enough to give the support she needed. Fortunately, somehow we got through it.
It can be done, but it's not easy and requires a very strong, committed, mature relationship even if things go well. Your partner needs to know that you will not be available nearly as much as they'd like.
You'll have time to be a resident and one other thing. You can be a resident and a golfer, a resident and a runner, a resident and a writer, a resident and a parent/spouse. If you're planning on having a family, you'd better want only the latter or you will have some significant conflicts and disappointments.
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It really depends on where youre doing residency. At my program, I do reach 80 hours a week with some frequency. As for 7AM to 7PM, we usually start rounding around 6. Sometimes earlier if we have more patients than usual. That will vary from program to program. What I should mention though is that ENT is generally one of the less brutal surgical residencies. Its not as chill as urology, but its a hell of a lot better than neurosurgery and general surgery. Starting a family as a resident is difficult no matter what specialty youre in, but ENT isnt particularly bad in this respect.
I would like to give some honest feedback as someone with quite a bit of experience in this topic. I am a female resident who had a baby during intern year. Looking back I would not change anything because I love my son, however, this is a decision that MUST be given a significant amount of thought. Here are a few things to consider beforehand.
1. How much family is nearby to assist?
2. Is your spouse capable of stepping up? Do they have the maturity to assume nearly all parenting duties willingly?
3. Is there a specific year where this would be an easier endeavor?
4. Do you have the financial means to hire extra help if family is not available?
5. Seriously, how much sleep do you require? This is not a joke.
6. Are you organized?
7. Are you starting out in generally good health? Pregnancy is physically taxing.
My husband and I married right after med school and had a relatively incomplete discussion about the timing of a pregnancy. He was in a much less stressful residency but a residency none-the-less and I was about to embark on a residency that is quite well known to be, um, PC terms "high volume". Two factors prevailed. I was advanced maternal age already and my program already had more volume than available residents, therefore me taking leave during years 2-5 was out. So intern year it was.
Considerations for a pregnancy- You have to be a strong enough person to deal with: Prejudice, Negativity, and all the side effects of pregnancy. There will be many doctor visits and with those come the responsibility of coming in very early to get your scut done so that you don't have to hand it off to someone else. Fatigue is crippling. Your ankles will look like tree trunks and while many will step up to help - (my neurosurgery senior I was paired with on call nights scheduled me intermittent breaks to put my feet up) many others will be very unforgiving. (Trauma 8 months along and another female chief GS resident makes me hustle off the wards to the trauma bay, about a half mile walk to pull up an xray, her golden fingers were too good to use PACS, which lead to a preterm labor scare requiring admission for tocolytics) Please do not underestimate hormone surges. I can count on one hand the times I have cried aside from pregnancy. During pregnancy, you will be reduced to tears A LOT. Just hope you can waddle to the locker room fast enough to get away in time.
Residency and a newborn- This starts out wonderfully. First of all, you are now no stranger to sleep deprivation and caring for an adorable wiggling, smiling, part of you makes it easy. I had six weeks of bliss. He would lay on my lap and I would read Bailey's to him. Then my leave ended and I was back to lower level resident hours. Reality set in and this tremendous bond of mother and child was fractured. (I happen to have the utmost respect for women who stay at home in the early years) No matter which way you put this, it is true and I experienced it, you will not have the same connection to your child as you would if you were there all the time. It is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to consider. Its painful when you go to pick your child up and they cling to the nanny and cry. When you try to feed them a particular way, and you don't know THE way, or the subtle nuances of their everyday existence. When you have to give up your hour with them at night so that you can read for the next days cases and get the bottles washed, clothes folded and dinner made. There will be days you do not see them awake. They will get sick and you won't be the one to take them to the pediatrician. This is reality. There are many things to hold onto to keep you going. Keep loving them despite the separation and they will reward you with ear to ear smiles, and milestones, and hugs. My mother has helped me tremendously by reassuring me: 1. Children always know their mother. 2. He won't remember any of this, or who is loving and caring for him, as long as someone is, he will be okay.
If I could sum the whole experience up so far- it is monumentally taxing.
The truth is women have the task of attempting to balance child rearing and careers. Both are alone difficult endeavors.
Finally, residency is a finite period of time to learn a set of skills to make you a specialist of significant complexity. It really is something I take very seriously, as I come from a surgical background where I encountered first hand the angst of a new surgeon alone for the first time with a team of staff looking to the them for answers. I, personally, want to finish residency with the skill set available to do the right thing by my patients and capable of contributing to the advancement of our field. I have come to realize, in order to succeed in this process, the little guy playing at my feet in his Steeler's onesie stained with his mushy pees from lunch is going to spend a lot of time without his mommy the next three years. I have to advise any female considering children during surgical residency, if you have the benefit of youth availing you the ability to wait, I implore you to do so, for the sake of yourself and your child.
1. How much family is nearby to assist?
2. Is your spouse capable of stepping up? Do they have the maturity to assume nearly all parenting duties willingly?
3. Is there a specific year where this would be an easier endeavor?
4. Do you have the financial means to hire extra help if family is not available?
5. Seriously, how much sleep do you require? This is not a joke.
6. Are you organized?
7. Are you starting out in generally good health? Pregnancy is physically taxing.
My husband and I married right after med school and had a relatively incomplete discussion about the timing of a pregnancy. He was in a much less stressful residency but a residency none-the-less and I was about to embark on a residency that is quite well known to be, um, PC terms "high volume". Two factors prevailed. I was advanced maternal age already and my program already had more volume than available residents, therefore me taking leave during years 2-5 was out. So intern year it was.
Considerations for a pregnancy- You have to be a strong enough person to deal with: Prejudice, Negativity, and all the side effects of pregnancy. There will be many doctor visits and with those come the responsibility of coming in very early to get your scut done so that you don't have to hand it off to someone else. Fatigue is crippling. Your ankles will look like tree trunks and while many will step up to help - (my neurosurgery senior I was paired with on call nights scheduled me intermittent breaks to put my feet up) many others will be very unforgiving. (Trauma 8 months along and another female chief GS resident makes me hustle off the wards to the trauma bay, about a half mile walk to pull up an xray, her golden fingers were too good to use PACS, which lead to a preterm labor scare requiring admission for tocolytics) Please do not underestimate hormone surges. I can count on one hand the times I have cried aside from pregnancy. During pregnancy, you will be reduced to tears A LOT. Just hope you can waddle to the locker room fast enough to get away in time.
Residency and a newborn- This starts out wonderfully. First of all, you are now no stranger to sleep deprivation and caring for an adorable wiggling, smiling, part of you makes it easy. I had six weeks of bliss. He would lay on my lap and I would read Bailey's to him. Then my leave ended and I was back to lower level resident hours. Reality set in and this tremendous bond of mother and child was fractured. (I happen to have the utmost respect for women who stay at home in the early years) No matter which way you put this, it is true and I experienced it, you will not have the same connection to your child as you would if you were there all the time. It is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to consider. Its painful when you go to pick your child up and they cling to the nanny and cry. When you try to feed them a particular way, and you don't know THE way, or the subtle nuances of their everyday existence. When you have to give up your hour with them at night so that you can read for the next days cases and get the bottles washed, clothes folded and dinner made. There will be days you do not see them awake. They will get sick and you won't be the one to take them to the pediatrician. This is reality. There are many things to hold onto to keep you going. Keep loving them despite the separation and they will reward you with ear to ear smiles, and milestones, and hugs. My mother has helped me tremendously by reassuring me: 1. Children always know their mother. 2. He won't remember any of this, or who is loving and caring for him, as long as someone is, he will be okay.
If I could sum the whole experience up so far- it is monumentally taxing.
The truth is women have the task of attempting to balance child rearing and careers. Both are alone difficult endeavors.
Finally, residency is a finite period of time to learn a set of skills to make you a specialist of significant complexity. It really is something I take very seriously, as I come from a surgical background where I encountered first hand the angst of a new surgeon alone for the first time with a team of staff looking to the them for answers. I, personally, want to finish residency with the skill set available to do the right thing by my patients and capable of contributing to the advancement of our field. I have come to realize, in order to succeed in this process, the little guy playing at my feet in his Steeler's onesie stained with his mushy pees from lunch is going to spend a lot of time without his mommy the next three years. I have to advise any female considering children during surgical residency, if you have the benefit of youth availing you the ability to wait, I implore you to do so, for the sake of yourself and your child.
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Good advice from ENTMOM.
We have not had any females give birth during residency, but have had a few who were pregnant (in the final half of their Chief Year). It is only a matter of time before one of the residents gives birth during residency. As a faculty member, we are all supportive of any female resident who chooses to have children. We understand that this may impact the length of residency (per the details above) and may delay fellowship. It really should not have any impact on getting a job, since there is no requirement to start on July 1 - if you need to make up a month or two, you can easily start later. In fact, with the written Boards now earlier (like it was pre 9/11), people are taking time off anyway to study.
The call issue with other residents should be a non-issue. You can do "extra" calls in your early pregnancy if you want, or during your research rotation, which may be easier. If you are back-up call, it is really not a big deal for one of your classmates to be available, since (at least our residents) back up call rarely goes in.
Personally, I feel that just as we support male residents who decide to have families, we should similarly support our female residents. Every other sector out there (besides surgery) is doing fine - in fact, perhaps we can learn something from the OB/GYN colleagues who have dealt with this for far more years than we have, since it always seems they have one of their residents pregnant (at least where I am at).
If we were to have one of our female residents due to give birth during residency, and there was a feeling of resentment among any of our residents, there would be a meeting with EVERYONE to discuss this.
What I/we have observed, however, is that many of the female residents who WANT to have children choose to delay for several reasons (as indicated above). 1) Time that they will have with their child may be limited. 2) Support from family may not be near. 3) Feelings of not wanting to "let the team down" - which I think should really not come into the equation, etc.
In the end, do what you and your partner feel is right. The team will adjust and life will move on.
We have not had any females give birth during residency, but have had a few who were pregnant (in the final half of their Chief Year). It is only a matter of time before one of the residents gives birth during residency. As a faculty member, we are all supportive of any female resident who chooses to have children. We understand that this may impact the length of residency (per the details above) and may delay fellowship. It really should not have any impact on getting a job, since there is no requirement to start on July 1 - if you need to make up a month or two, you can easily start later. In fact, with the written Boards now earlier (like it was pre 9/11), people are taking time off anyway to study.
The call issue with other residents should be a non-issue. You can do "extra" calls in your early pregnancy if you want, or during your research rotation, which may be easier. If you are back-up call, it is really not a big deal for one of your classmates to be available, since (at least our residents) back up call rarely goes in.
Personally, I feel that just as we support male residents who decide to have families, we should similarly support our female residents. Every other sector out there (besides surgery) is doing fine - in fact, perhaps we can learn something from the OB/GYN colleagues who have dealt with this for far more years than we have, since it always seems they have one of their residents pregnant (at least where I am at).
If we were to have one of our female residents due to give birth during residency, and there was a feeling of resentment among any of our residents, there would be a meeting with EVERYONE to discuss this.
What I/we have observed, however, is that many of the female residents who WANT to have children choose to delay for several reasons (as indicated above). 1) Time that they will have with their child may be limited. 2) Support from family may not be near. 3) Feelings of not wanting to "let the team down" - which I think should really not come into the equation, etc.
In the end, do what you and your partner feel is right. The team will adjust and life will move on.
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I'm in a big name Midwest program that has a large number of residents. We're pretty family-friendly, and offspring outnumbers residents by about 2:1. Many of our female residents give birth during the course of residency; most have planned delivery to coincide with their research block. I'm male and I can't imagine how difficult some of them have it (think pushing the patient to one side of the OR table so you can rest your 8 1/2 month pregnant belly on the table while you operate).
That said, my third child was delivered during my first week of internship, and my wife is pregnant again. All the advice in the world can't tell you how you'll respond personally. If my wife weren't heroically tough, the baby thing wouldn't be happening. I'm on a head and neck rotation that has me pushing duty hours every week, and I'll go four days between times seeing my kids. That's a ton of extra lifting to be done by a spouse. So you have to decide for yourself, can your partner do that? If not, then no surgical subspecialty will accommodate your family. If so, you'll make it work.
And it's true. If you're a dude, it's way easier.
Good luck.
That said, my third child was delivered during my first week of internship, and my wife is pregnant again. All the advice in the world can't tell you how you'll respond personally. If my wife weren't heroically tough, the baby thing wouldn't be happening. I'm on a head and neck rotation that has me pushing duty hours every week, and I'll go four days between times seeing my kids. That's a ton of extra lifting to be done by a spouse. So you have to decide for yourself, can your partner do that? If not, then no surgical subspecialty will accommodate your family. If so, you'll make it work.
And it's true. If you're a dude, it's way easier.
Good luck.
