Pregnant and looking for new job...advice please!

[SkiPharmer]

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I will make this as quick as possible..we pretty much have made up our mind about what we will do but I want some feedback from anyone else who has been in this position. My wife just found out she is pregnant (first child). She currently works for one of the big three retail pharmacies and has been applying for other jobs the last 3 months. She had a few interviews at a clinic pharmacy (which everyone we have talked to loves working, they are super progressive with their pharmacy practice), they were very impressed with her and last night they emailed her for references. She is only like 7 weeks pregnant, so she isn't showing, but here is the problem and our three choices.........

1) The clinic job is only 20 hours a week, no benefits, and since she won't have been there for a year she won't qualify for FMLA. She can pick up other shifts at other locations and stay on as PRN at her current retail gig. Who knows how much if any time she could take off. We would have to switch to my companies benefits, not sure how much of a pain that would be.

2) Stick it out for the next 9 months with her current job (VERY good hours, i.e: basically M-F and less than one weekend a month), get fulltime hours until then, get paid maternity leave and then after baby is born she works part time for them while looking for full time work at another place. We have a combined student loan debt of $80,000 now (had $300,000), that should be done by the time baby is here or close to. Pros of this are all money basically, student debt will be gone, promised benefits and maternity leave.

3) Take clinic job but before she starts tell them she is pregnant and see what kind of leave they would give her. Thing about this is NOTHING is promised, since she won't qualify for FMLA they could cut her anytime. Or she could apply for other fulltime jobs being pregnant and just deal with any possible jobs that come up.

We are thinking about going with Option 2.....

THANKS for the info!

 

[All4MyDaughter]

I vote Option 2.

 

[Estrace]

I vote option 2 as well. You are gambling with the other options!

 

[WVUPharm2007]

I'd stick with #2. If the manager is anything like me, he/she will see parents of young children as less productive in general due to potential time needed off/oogling at baby photos/other distractions and not hire her in the first place. The current job is legally required to adjust to your federally mandated vacation time. Use the FMLA laws for your elective medical procedure as was intended by the baby gods.

 

[Pharmacy Kid]

I'd stick with #2. If the manager is anything like me, he/she will see parents of young children as less productive in general due to potential time needed off/oogling at baby photos/other distractions and not hire her in the first place. The current job is legally required to adjust to your federally mandated vacation time. Use the FMLA laws for your elective medical procedure as was intended by the baby gods.

Tell us how you really feel.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

Tell us how you really feel.

I thought I reeled that in much more than usual.

 

[owlegrad]

I thought I reeled that in much more than usual.

Yes I thought the same. Heck your advice was sound and you kept the commentary to a bear minimum. You didn't even say anything about it being unfair to people who don't have children, etc!

 

[smercer]

Yes I thought the same. Heck your advice was sound and you kept the commentary to a bear minimum. You didn't even say anything about it being unfair to people who don't have children, etc!

Nor did he mention anything about the social stima against men taking FMLA for a new child.

 

[Hello2000]

Option 4

Tell the clinic you really would love the job, you loved the setting and everything about it appealed to you, however you have just found out you are pregnant. Would they be able to hold the position (probably not), or keep you in mind if any more openings arise post partum?

 

[WVUPharm2007]

Nor did he mention anything about the social stima against men taking FMLA for a new child.

I'm torn on that. On one hand, FMLA is ridiculous. "Education" should be extended to birth and everyone should be allowed to plop their kid in govt funded daycare from birth. Thus allowing their parents to remain productive as before. So while I could see women requiring a small amount of time for physical recovery from their voluntary medical procedure, men would really have no reason to have as such. However, in the real world, when a woman plops out spawn, the parents are awarded a lavish vacation that includes months of time off. So insofar as the lavishness of the offspring reward from the government, its only fair that men get to share in it, too.

But, again, it would be better if it just didn't exist. Or if those without children were allowed a one-time government mandated sabbatical once in their lives. Then it would be fair at least.

If I were a woman, I'd just constantly get pregnant and give the infant up for adoption once every 9 months. With accrued vacation time, I could work like 8 months out of the year and they'd be powerless to stop me.

Also: Could I "rent" a child to get my free vacation? Say I get an adoption...then say, "Hey, can't handle this." From what I understand you get the free vacation award even for adoptions. This may be a workaround that allows me to enjoy this law along with others.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

I also would like to share this article. Replace "medicine" with "pharmacy."
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[joetrisman]

I also would like to share this article. Replace "medicine" with "pharmacy."
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Is that woman sexist against women or is the sentiment just plain logical? Hmmmmm

 

[SkiPharmer]

I'm torn on that. On one hand, FMLA is ridiculous. "Education" should be extended to birth and everyone should be allowed to plop their kid in govt funded daycare from birth. Thus allowing their parents to remain productive as before. So while I could see women requiring a small amount of time for physical recovery from their voluntary medical procedure, men would really have no reason to have as such. However, in the real world, when a woman plops out spawn, the parents are awarded a lavish vacation that includes months of time off. So insofar as the lavishness of the offspring reward from the government, its only fair that men get to share in it, too.

But, again, it would be better if it just didn't exist. Or if those without children were allowed a one-time government mandated sabbatical once in their lives. Then it would be fair at least.

If I were a woman, I'd just constantly get pregnant and give the infant up for adoption once every 9 months. With accrued vacation time, I could work like 8 months out of the year and they'd be powerless to stop me.

Also: Could I "rent" a child to get my free vacation? Say I get an adoption...then say, "Hey, can't handle this." From what I understand you get the free vacation award even for adoptions. This may be a workaround that allows me to enjoy this law along with others.

I don't know you but judging by your ridiculous and shock-jock like comments you are the biggest d-bag. Also, the fact that you have over 10,000+ posts on an Internet forum suggest you may need a hobby or maybe you are so socially awkward that you have no experience with women and hence are bitter. You are probably the type of pharmacist that thinks they are a physician and makes people call them Dr. but believes they should be on a first name basis with physicians. Your comments offer no help, then again maybe you can't help it being from a state where most people think its ok to marry your cousin.

 

[joetrisman]

I don't know you but judging by your ridiculous and shock-jock like comments you are the biggest d-bag. Also, the fact that you have over 10,000+ posts on an Internet forum suggest you may need a hobby or maybe you are so socially awkward that you have no experience with women and hence are bitter. You are probably the type of pharmacist that thinks they are a physician and makes people call them Dr. but believes they should be on a first name basis with physicians. Your comments offer no help, then again maybe you can't help it being from a state where most people think its ok to marry your cousin.

FYI, personal attacks are against board policy iirc

 

[Ackj]

I don't know you but judging by your ridiculous and shock-jock like comments you are the biggest d-bag. Also, the fact that you have over 10,000+ posts on an Internet forum suggest you may need a hobby or maybe you are so socially awkward that you have no experience with women and hence are bitter. You are probably the type of pharmacist that thinks they are a physician and makes people call them Dr. but believes they should be on a first name basis with physicians. Your comments offer no help, then again maybe you can't help it being from a state where most people think its ok to marry your cousin.

I dunno, 10k/10 years isn't that crazy. Especially when you figure many are back and forth conversation, and not a long post.

But is the cousin marrying part referring to WV or PA? Because that could kinda go either way.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

I don't know you but judging by your ridiculous and shock-jock like comments you are the biggest d-bag.

Depends on who you ask, I guess. But my mom thinks I'm handsome.

Also, the fact that you have over 10,000+ posts on an Internet forum suggest you may need a hobby

10,000 posts? Hell, I got 190,000 Dave & Busters points. You want to talk about a waste of time. Whew...

or maybe you are so socially awkward that you have no experience with women and hence are bitter.

Married 8 years.

You are probably the type of pharmacist that thinks they are a physician and makes people call them Dr.

Nah, actually I wish they didn't make me go for four years and just gave me a B.S. after 3 years. I'd be $120,000 or so richer and $20,000 or so less in debt. I look at my PharmD in a box in the attic and just get pissed off to be honest.

but believes they should be on a first name basis with physicians.

I work nights. I try to avoid them entirely.

Your comments offer no help, then again maybe you can't help it being from a state where most people think its ok to marry your cousin.

Technically, its illegal to marry your cousin in WV. But, boy, if you saw my cousin Ethel, I'm tellin' ya...you'd think twice.

-----------------------

....AAAAAANNNNDDDD, I wasn't even replying to you anyway.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

FYI, personal attacks are against board policy iirc

This made me laugh...

Okay, okay, lets not derail the post.

For the OP, I'm serious about #2, though. Go with that. Because you never know when militantly anti-offspring people like me might be out there. If the current boss is like that, you have legal recourse. Future boss, you're hosed. You should also be glad my thoughts are out there. I am your hypothetical worst case scenario. If an option still works with me in the picture (which, again, would be option #2), then you know it will all be okay.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

PA?

Lots of bad things could be said about the Yinzers. I would stand in line with the OP to hurl insults at them. They probably actually do marry their cousins. Nobody else will.

 

[SkiPharmer]

Lots of bad things could be said about the Yinzers. I would stand in line with the OP to hurl insults at them. They probably actually do marry their cousins. Nobody else will.

Ok ok...just like in Dumb and Dumber you totally redeemed yourself....we are sticky with Option 2....

 

[PharmDstudent]

Pregnancy threads are so 2008...

 

[njac]

Tell us how you really feel.

He feels like those of us in the workforce who are sacrificing a portion of our late 20s/early 30s to those who chose to procreate.

I know it's bad management that I'm dealing with, but I'm finding myself very resentful of the breeders these days.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

He feels like those of us in the workforce who are sacrificing a portion of our late 20s/early 30s to those who chose to procreate.

I know it's bad management that I'm dealing with, but I'm finding myself very resentful of the breeders these days.

I actually work with two day pharmacists that are in that mid-late 20s, I'm comfortable and established phase. (And they are both great coworkers.) I have no idea if either of them want kids or not, but statistically, they do. And they could hypothetically decide to reproduce any day now. I've been wondering if there was some way to get them to discuss it with each other and at least have them stagger it out a tad. I have this fear of both of them leaving simultaneously and making me the de facto PIC in their absence. Which is something Mike does not want.

 

[xiphoid2010]

OP, WVU is telling you as it is. Political correctness doesn't stop people from seeing the real problems, just stops them from talking about it. Pregnant staff is what management want to avoid for obvious financial and logistical issues. And as others have pointed out, even fellow staffs usually find it undesirable. Try put yourself in the shoes of a manager or director.

 

[njac]

I just had all of my
Vacation requests denied through November due to maternity leaves.

My 30th birthday falls in the middle of that. Didn't want to do anything special anyway.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

I just had all of my
Vacation requests denied through November due to maternity leaves.

My 30th birthday falls in the middle of that. Didn't want to do anything special anyway.

Right now would be a G-R-E-A-T time to ask for a raise. And shop your resume around. Someone with your qualifications shouldn't have to not get vacation through November and be subject to paternity hostage. I'm just a hilljack borderline academic failure that mans the graveyard shift...I submitted 6 requested days no less than a week ago for the next few months and got them all off with a smile on my scheduler's face. Someone who did like 8 years of residency or whatever and, during which, had to live in effing Huntington (the horror) should demand mad perks. Just my opinion.

 

[metrarx]

He feels like those of us in the workforce who are sacrificing a portion of our late 20s/early 30s to those who chose to procreate.

I know it's bad management that I'm dealing with, but I'm finding myself very resentful of the breeders these days.

Even though you admit that it's bad management you're dealing with, you still resent the "breeders."

I totally respect and have no issues with those who choose not to have kids but realize this: it's a win for our society when someone with a good background and education decides to procreate. Don't be dense and look at your tiny microenvironment but understand instead that it's much, much easier for the rif raf to breed and populate our future with the idiots who will run this country. Social decay is occurring and statistics should tell you where the culprits come from.

 

[BidingMyTime]

Definitely #2. I was in similar, but different situation, I was interviewing when I was 9 months pregnant. I really wanted a different job before then, but realized changing jobs during a pregnancy was a bad idea. During the interview I was open about not being able to start until I had delivered and had some time off. (my then current job offered no maternity benefits or disability, other than FMLA.) I was offered & accepted the new job, and kept in touch with them about my start date. So yes, I'd recommend your wife wait to switch jobs until after she has had the baby....perhaps start looking & interviewing during her 9th month.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

Even though you admit that it's bad management you're dealing with, you still resent the "breeders."

I totally respect and have no issues with those who choose not to have kids but realize this: it's a win for our society when someone with a good background and education decides to procreate. Don't be dense and look at your tiny microenvironment but understand instead that it's much, much easier for the rif raf to breed and populate our future with the idiots who will run this country. Social decay is occurring and statistics should tell you where the culprits come from.

Gimme a break.

First off, we want the young people to be dumb. Then we can exploit them like the baby boomers have exploited us.

Second off, that sort of silly eugenics stuff is nonsense. There will always be cream to rise to the top.

 

[njac]

People can have all the babies they want.

But don't infringe on my vacation time. I'll gladly pick up overtime in the meantime, but if I don't want to be at work, I usually have an awesome reason to be somewhere else.

Lifestyle choices. We all make them. I don't ask anyone to make 5 month long sacrifices for mine.

 

[All4MyDaughter]

5 months? That's a long maternity/paternity leave. Is that unpaid, I assume?

 

[njac]

5 months? That's a long maternity/paternity leave. Is that unpaid, I assume?

Mostly paid. Accrued pto/long term sick/disability (I'm old Aflac pays 85%) and then the very end goes unpaid.

Thankfully most of these ladies have nannies or live in mother in laws so they aren't calling in sick for sick kids. I do appreciate that.

 

[All4MyDaughter]

Mostly paid. Accrued pto/long term sick/disability (I'm old Aflac pays 85%) and then the very end goes unpaid.

Thankfully most of these ladies have nannies or live in mother in laws so they aren't calling in sick for sick kids. I do appreciate that.

I can't imagine five months off. I attempted to take three months with my first child and ended up going back early. I started residency six weeks after baby #2 and got a new job about the time baby #3 was old enough for daycare. I will say this. Staying home is no picnic. Certainly not like a vacation for me. More like mentally and emotionally exhausting. I like working.

 

[KARM12]

I was told by a manager that I should pick up a shift for Pharmacist X because it was Halloween and she wanted to take her kids trick or treating. Again a matter of lifestyle choice. I should have just as much right to dress up in some skimpy costume and drink until I pass out...that is my choice.

 

[WVUPharm2007]

I can't imagine five months off. I attempted to take three months with my first child and ended up going back early. I started residency six weeks after baby #2 and got a new job about the time baby #3 was old enough for daycare. I will say this. Staying home is no picnic. Certainly not like a vacation for me. More like mentally and emotionally exhausting. I like working.

And in a hypothetical alternative universe, the government mandates that I could get three months off whenever I want to climb Mt Everest. I'm sure thats mentally and emotionally exhausting, too. And either way, you put yourself in that situation voluntarily and its a free vacation from work to everyone else in your workplace and they have to pick up the slack.

 

[Ackj]

I was told by a manager that I should pick up a shift for Pharmacist X because it was Halloween and she wanted to take her kids trick or treating. Again a matter of lifestyle choice. I should have just as much right to dress up in some skimpy costume and drink until I pass out...that is my choice.

Doesn't dressing in a skimpy outfit and drinking lead to children?

 

[njac]

Doesn't dressing in a skimpy outfit and drinking lead to children?

If you're an amateur.


I'm not all anti breeders. I request to work Halloween and Christmas.

 

[pharmasaur]

And in a hypothetical alternative universe, the government mandates that I could get three months off whenever I want to climb Mt Everest. I'm sure thats mentally and emotionally exhausting, too. And either way, you put yourself in that situation voluntarily and its a free vacation from work to everyone else in your workplace and they have to pick up the slack.

why dont u just lie and say u need to have surgery and u need 3 months to recover. i dont think they ask for proof because it's confidential. a girl at my previous job took a few months off under FML bc she wanted to go on a trip lol. the only thing is, they cant guarantee they will hold the exact same position for you...they just need to have a similar position when you come back.

 

[njac]

why dont u just lie and say u need to have surgery and u need 3 months to recover. i dont think they ask for proof because it's confidential. a girl at my previous job took a few months off under FML bc she wanted to go on a trip lol. the only thing is, they cant guarantee they will hold the exact same position for you...they just need to have a similar position when you come back.

To use long term sick or short term disability we need a doctors note. The above may be the case for unpaid leave.

I've seen people use vacation time for cosmetic surgery so that they don't have to waste the time and effort to go through employee health.

 

[297point1]

Right now would be a G-R-E-A-T time to ask for a raise. And shop your resume around. Someone with your qualifications shouldn't have to not get vacation through November and be subject to paternity hostage.

This. The only time I've ever asked for a raise was when the #2 and #3 folks at my company both announced they were leaving on the same day. I helped the boss realize that he really couldn't afford to lose #4 (me).

Opportunity is knocking. Answer the door.

 

[sakigt]

And in a hypothetical alternative universe, the government mandates that I could get three months off whenever I want to climb Mt Everest. I'm sure thats mentally and emotionally exhausting, too. And either way, you put yourself in that situation voluntarily and its a free vacation from work to everyone else in your workplace and they have to pick up the slack.

You have no idea. "Free vacation". Yes it is by choice but so is working and so any complaint anyone has about their workplace should be dismissed?

Anyway.

OP : I would look to the future and what your wife hopes to be (eventually). First off, I didn't announce to family (let alone facebook and employers etc) that I was pregnant until 13 weeks (call me old fashioned). Pick the job best for your family. And congrats!