Premed Pickup Lines

[swifteagle43]

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Alright guys-here is a challenge:

Come up with pick up lines premed majors could use in picking up girls.

I will start:

"Want to play doctor?"

 

[!dr_nick!]

Ja, in der Vaterland we use 3 fingers.

 

[Febrifuge]

"I know exactly where all the most important parts are."

 

[!dr_nick!]

let me stimulate your pudendal nerves.

 

[swifteagle43]

"I know exactly where all the most important parts are."

nice...you can improve with an opener

"do you need help with anatomy?"

and then follow up with

"I know exactly where all the most important parts are."

I am really impressed

 

[swifteagle43]

"I have a big stethascope."

 

[Arsenic]

"You know... I can use my powers for both good and evil."

 

[Damnit Jim!]

it must be in your genes.....take them off

🙁 i suck at this

 

[Arsenic]

it must be in your genes.....take them off

🙁 i suck at this

That was pretty good actually.

 

[swifteagle43]

it must be in your genes.....take them off

🙁 i suck at this

nice!

 

[watsupdoc15]

Alright guys-here is a challenge:

Come up with pick up lines premed majors could use in picking up girls.

I will start:

"Want to play doctor?"

"you have nice paravertebrals".......it worked one time...what can i say, i'm a lower back man

 

[Damnit Jim!]

you: did the tox screen come back negative?
her: yes, it was negative.
you: go get some charcoal.
her: but the tox screen came back negative.
you: i know...i just wanted the charcoal so I could light a fire in your heart.

😳

*dodges tomatoes*

 

[swifteagle43]

Hahahahahahhaha How would you EVER pull that off? You are hitting on your patients?


I got another one:
"I can write you a perspcription for happiness Its called (your name)."
Then write your name and number on a peice of paper and give it to her!

 

[Arsenic]

you: did the tox screen come back negative?
her: yes, it was negative.
you: go get some charcoal.
her: but the tox screen came back negative.
you: i know...i just wanted the charcoal so I could light a fire in your heart.

😳

*dodges tomatoes*

Damnit Jim! *throws tomato*

 

[VFrank]

I know a good calculus one (for all those premeds who took Calc)

"Hey baby. I wish I was your derivative so I could be tangent to all your curves."

 

[Damnit Jim!]

Hahahahahahhaha How would you EVER pull that off? You are hitting on your patients?

Not a patient. Maybe fellow premed or nurse when you're both examining a patient. 👍

I don't think it would be too hard. I've always wanted to try something corny like that.

 

[Arsenic]

I know a good calculus one (for all those premeds who took Calc)

"Hey baby. I wish I was your derivative so I could be tangent to all your curves."

Let's integrate. 😎

 

[Damnit Jim!]

maybe on a peds rotation:


My love for you is just like that last kid's explosive diarrhea....I just can't hold it in any longer.

boo!

 

[swifteagle43]

maybe on a peds rotation:


My love for you is just like that last kid's explosive diarrhea....I just can't hold it in any longer.

boo!

I like the fact that you booed yourself! LOL that is awful joke man! Thats like being a psychiatrist and saying "I know why you are here. You are crazy about me right?"

just awful


but funny

 

[Siggy]

Can I be the proton to your carbocation?

 

[swifteagle43]

I think we can all get work now in the porn industry for writing scripts.

 

[Arsenic]

I think we can all get work now in the porn industry for writing scripts.

Yes... the future doctors of America. Now... I want you to take a bra and have it filled immediately.

 

[Siggy]

Now now, I just need to feel all the breasts I can so that I know what to feel for on my TUBEs.

 

[45408]

I was just thinking of making a thread like this.

Hey, baby, you want to do some genetic recombination?

Wanna see the new tongue depressor they came out with?

Here's the best one - just walk into a bar and say, "Hey, ladies! I'm pre-med!"

 

[myfavred]

I heard it from one of my friends

What is your spin number? Actually some one replied to him by saying +1/2

 

[leviathan]

I heard it from one of my friends

What is your spin number? Actually some one replied to him by saying +1/2

😍 That's when you know you've found someone as geeky as you are.

 

[PhotoMD]

Can I be the proton to your carbocation?

Well seeing as protons and carbocations don't interact... Oh lord I am lame...

 

[Siggy]

Sorry, proton to you alkene...

or

Why don't we make like the charge of bromine in a alkane peroxide and meet half way (radical).

 

[logos]

Well seeing as protons and carbocations don't interact... Oh lord I am lame...

Haha...it was bothering me too. I guess it would be "Can I be the nucleophile to your carbocation?"

Or you could try offer an SN1....do the Backsided attack!

Dorky....

 

[Singing Devil]

Haha...it was bothering me too. I guess it would be "Can I be the nucleophile to your carbocation?"

Or you could try offer an SN1....do the Backsided attack!

Dorky....

actually, that's an Sn2 (bimolecular nucleophilic substitution).

Yes, I spent several years as an organic chemist.

 

[swifteagle43]

What will I ever do? I lost my practice dummy the night before my MCATs?!

 

[acidhouse303]

as a microbiologist i told a dude once to say:

baby u make my micrococcus experience exponential growth

too bad m.luteus only comes micro and not mega

and my favourite of all time is : molecular biologists do it with hot probes!!

 

[acidhouse303]

wow u guys really got creative with those orgo ones they certainly make me swoon. (or NOT?) i like the calculus one tho 🙂 lets integrate so i can measure the area under all your curves. mathematicians do it discretely and continuously

 

[Childe]

You look dehydrated, want to exchange fluids?

 

[swifteagle43]

You look dehydrated, want to exchange fluids?

nice!

 

[batchild39]

"I'm drunk and you're still ugly"

 

[Arsenic]

"I'm drunk and you're still ugly"

"Now you my love are a candidate for plastic surgery." *SLAP!* 😱

 

[swifteagle43]

"Now you my love are a candidate for plastic surgery." *SLAP!* 😱

"I want to be a plastic surgeon. Can you please show me what a perfect body looks like?"

 

[Arsenic]

"I want to be a plastic surgeon. Can you please show me what a perfect body looks like?"

Girls response: "Going into plastic surgery will be the only way you'll ever get your hands on anything this hot!" *tosses hair and turns around* 😡

 

[DrHopeless]

haha how about this one: (haha not really for pre-med, but it is what we are working toward 😀 )

"I am a M3 😉 Still single, getting ready to do some rotation with you. Ladies??? "

HAHA can't wait until I can try this one out, hopefully I don't have to get that desperate

 

[avinash]

haha how about this one: (haha not really for pre-med, but it is what we are working toward 😀 )

"I am a M3 😉 Still single, getting ready to do some rotation with you. Ladies??? "

HAHA can't wait until I can try this one out, hopefully I don't have to get that desperate

LOL
Thats a good one

 

[!dr_nick!]

as a microbiologist i told a dude once to say:

baby u make my micrococcus experience exponential growth

too bad m.luteus only comes micro and not mega

and my favourite of all time is : molecular biologists do it with hot probes!!

yes, well, polymer scientists do it in chains.

 

[Shades McCool]

Open up, here comes the tounge depressor.

 

[Aristotle]

I know only corny pickup lines:

Premed:"Did you know that there are 206 bones inside of your body?"
Girl:"Really?"
Premed:"Yeah, and I could show you how to get one more."
(Girl slaps desperate premed)

 

[freaker]

Stand a little closer, baby, and I'll bring palpitations to your liver.

 

[stoic]

1) i never used any "medical" pickup lines on girls before I got into med school.

2) basically everything i've read on here so far might get a chuckle.... but nothing more

3) the only thing I do now revolving around medicine absolutely requires both people to be drunk and for there to be some sexual chemistry between to the two people. If you're flirty and toucy feely with a a girl, just reach up and squeeze her boob, touch your lips to her ears and say "it's ok baby, i'm gonna be a doctor" it's worked for me so far.

but like i said, this wouldn't work if unless there was already a good amount of sexual energy building between the two people.

 

[swifteagle43]

bump

 

[UCLAstudent]

Not pre-med, exactly, but something a nerdy pre-med might say. Or a nerd in general! 😉

"I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause
you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."

 

[striped sweater]

Not pre-med, exactly, but something a nerdy pre-med might say. Or a nerd in general! 😉

"I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause
you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."

HECK, YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!

 

[blingblah]

a lawyerly premed:

"I bet you $20 you are gonna turn me down" 😀