Proud Parents

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Birdnals

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Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely love my parents...

I'm starting med school this fall and they are over the moon proud of me. I'm happy that I have made them so happy. But their "proudness" is starting to get out of hand. Every time I am introduced to someone, the first thing out their mouths is "he's going to medical school." When we get together with friends or family, the fact that I am going to medical school is brought up early and often. What really bothers me is that when we are together with my four other siblings, the conversation is absolutely dominated by my going to medical school, even if we're together to celebrate someone else's accomplishments. Even better is when they refer to me as Doctor, even in jest.

I'm not sure how to go about dealing with these situations. For now, I just try to act humble, answer the typical questions everyone asks when they learn I'm going to medical school (so...what are you going to specialize in?), and change the subject as quickly as possible. As far as my siblings go, I just try even harder now to strengthen my relationships with them and act "normal," i.e. not talk about medical stuff and focus more on them. What I really fear is becoming resented by my siblings. Right or wrong, I'd be hard pressed to blame them if they did given the current course of things. I'm sure I'm hardly the only person to experience this, so I was wondering how others have dealt with the proud parent(s).

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Every Jewish kid I grew up with in NY who went to med school had to deal with the same thing.
Does it ever go away? Or does the phrasing just change as you go to residency, then become attending, etc?
 
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Yeah bro I'm starting to get mail addressed to Dr. Psai and my parents be looking at the mail smiling like they won the damn lottery
 
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The same exact thing happened to me. I just graduated and I'm now a certified geriatrician in my grandparents eyes and a family Med physician in my parents eye because I will now magically be able to heal all their ailments (I'm going into pediatrics). Stay humbled and just remember how proud they are of you current and future accomplishments.
 
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Asian or Jewish?
 
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The same exact thing happened to me. I just graduated and I'm now a certified geriatrician in my grandparents eyes and a family Med physician in my parents eye because I will now magically be able to heal all their ailments (I'm going into pediatrics). Stay humbled and just remember how proud they are of you current and future accomplishments.

Hey I'll take that. They can ask me all the questions they want; it's the feeling of getting thrown on stage like a show pony that gets annoying.

I'm stoked that they're so happy, so don't get me wrong. They were a big part of me getting here and deserve to be proud. Just trying to look out for them and the future family dynamics. Appreciate the advice.
 
What you just said to us, say something similar to your parents. Maybe they'll take it down a notch.
 
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Same thing here. Figuring out new ways to change the topic every day lol.

But I think it should be reiterated that having kids is a risk; they could be mean and malicious, but you aren't (I assume) and you strived to do one of the most noble professions in history, so while it does bug me, I let my mom have her moment because it means a lot to her as a [single] parent. It may also be somewhat of a humble brag about their parenting skills too!
 
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My parents are proud of me, but I haven't noticed a lot of the issues you're talking about. Sometimes they bring it up at a time where I feel put on the spot, but I just change the subject. It's not a habit for them, though.

On the other hand, my girlfriend has mentioned before that she imagines that when we get married, my future title "Dr." will be used for various stuff like invitations and the formal introduction at the wedding ceremony (i.e. "Dr. and Mrs. Sloop"). I find this idea horribly pretentious and will fight it as much as possible. But she's just so damned proud of me and I think it might be important to her for some reason. Plus the argument she might make to me is that if one really wants to rigidly follow traditional wedding etiquette, it is technically the "correct" form of address. It may be a bullet I will just have to bite.

As others have said, it could be worse. The people in my life could care too little about me to be proud. That would kind of suck.
 
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Man up and put them in their place. Explain how it works. My mom used to tell people I was in medical school when I was a pre-med. I would correct her every time.
 
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Same thing here. Figuring out new ways to change the topic every day lol.

But I think it should be reiterated that having kids is a risk; they could be mean and malicious, but you aren't (I assume) and you strived to do one of the most noble professions in history, so while it does bug me, I let my mom have her moment because it means a lot to her as a [single] parent. It may also be somewhat of a humble brag about their parenting skills too!

Depending on how obnoxious the parents are about it, sometimes it's a straight up brag. If a parent is bringing it up out of the blue or introducing their kid as "the future doctor" it's basically saying "look how great we did as parents". I'm thankful my parents have never paraded me around like some monument to their success, but if they ever did I'd let them know how I felt about it once we were in private. If it bothers OP, then he should tell them to stop treating him like some kind of trophy and respect that wish.
 
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Yeah same here it is the first thing out of my dad's mouth, even to complete strangers. It's pretty funny I don't think I've ever seen him so excited/braggy. I think most of us can commiserate with you, we just have to be grateful our parents are supportive and suck it up until we leave (very soon !)
 
I haven't read the replies but I'm an older med student (late 20s) and I did some stuff before med school that my parents found very impressive, especially since neither went to college. I used to get SO embarrassed. My mom would brag about me to family members, the waitress, anyone. And like you feel with your siblings, I felt like it made people feel bad about themselves--like my mom was trying to "one up" them with a story about me. I'd get really upset about it. But honestly, I wish I had just let her be proud. My parents helped me do everything I've done, just by loving me, and letting them be proud is the easiest and most meaningful form of repayment I could have given. I mean, if you're really embarrassed, maybe explain to your parents in private that it's not because you don't want them to be proud, but because you're worried it makes your siblings feel like they're not proud of them. But they've put so much work into raising you and giving you everything they could/maybe never had (sorry, projecting here), and letting them enjoy your success by bragging is a small way you can repay them.

But I mean, if you really hate it, just tell them and tell them why.

This is drastic, but I'd get so annoyed as teenager/young adult that now my parents NEVER say anything like that, and I miss knowing that they're proud of me!
Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely love my parents...

I'm starting med school this fall and they are over the moon proud of me. I'm happy that I have made them so happy. But their "proudness" is starting to get out of hand. Every time I am introduced to someone, the first thing out their mouths is "he's going to medical school." When we get together with friends or family, the fact that I am going to medical school is brought up early and often. What really bothers me is that when we are together with my four other siblings, the conversation is absolutely dominated by my going to medical school, even if we're together to celebrate someone else's accomplishments. Even better is when they refer to me as Doctor, even in jest.

I'm not sure how to go about dealing with these situations. For now, I just try to act humble, answer the typical questions everyone asks when they learn I'm going to medical school (so...what are you going to specialize in?), and change the subject as quickly as possible. As far as my siblings go, I just try even harder now to strengthen my relationships with them and act "normal," i.e. not talk about medical stuff and focus more on them. What I really fear is becoming resented by my siblings. Right or wrong, I'd be hard pressed to blame them if they did given the current course of things. I'm sure I'm hardly the only person to experience this, so I was wondering how others have dealt with the proud parent(s).
 
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sloop said:
On the other hand, my girlfriend has mentioned before that she imagines that when we get married, my future title "Dr." will be used for various stuff like invitations and the formal introduction at the wedding ceremony (i.e. "Dr. and Mrs. Sloop"). I find this idea horribly pretentious and will fight it as much as possible. But she's just so damned proud of me and I think it might be important to her for some reason. Plus the argument she might make to me is that if one really wants to rigidly follow traditional wedding ettiquette, it is technically the "correct" form of address. It may be a bullet I will just have to bite.

Im not understanding how this is a "bullet I might have to bite". Being proud of her pair-bond's high status is quite logical, given that it is a reflection of her own by extension. It also makes you a more desireable mate, and not only to her (which means she will just have to work that much harder to please you).

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Yeah my family does it EVERY single chance they get, I know they are proud but I know it brings envy as well. I let them have their glory as they were a big part in helping me get to where I am.


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Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply. I knew I wasn't the only one who went through this which is a big part of the reason I love SDN!

It seems like everyone has a unique experience in dealing with this situation. If it weren't for the siblings issue, I think it would be a lot easier to just let it go. If they're proud, let them be proud, and if others judge them or myself for it then so be it. At the end of the day, we'll get by just fine. Unfortunately, the siblings thing does complicate things a bit. I think for now, I'm just going to keep letting my folks do their thing; it seems like it could go away at some point. In the meantime, I'll just work on growing the relationships with my siblings and probably let them know that the incessant talk of my accomplishments and future isn't something I exactly relish. If after a while the parents are still going on about, then I can have that talk with them. Thanks again to everyone who chimed in, and good luck to all the fellow "Medical Student (Accepted)s" out there!
 
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Until just recently I'd always try to play it down. Im starting to think it's good to just enjoy the compliments and proud parents though. Getting to medical school is really hard and medical school is really hard, I presume residency won't be a cakewalk either. We deserve some congratulations and ego boosters when we can get them.
 
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Im not understanding how this is a "bullet I might have to bite". Being proud of her pair-bond's high status is quite logical, given that it is a reflection of her own by extension. It also makes you a more desireable mate, and not only to her (which means she will just have to work that much harder to please you).

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Should she be proud of his achievements? Of coure, but there's a time and a place. If the status dictated by his title means as much to her as you suggest it should, then there's a serious issue that needs to be addressed between sloop and his girlfriend.

When all is said in done, it's the deeds we do that should be dictating our status, not our title. I don't say this to sound high and mighty, but say it coming from the perspective of having began to work my way through the system and seeing that docs run the same gamut of personalities and moral standards as the lay person. Because of this, I feel like throwing titles out like that does one of two things: (a) takes advantage of the perception much of the the general public has of physicians as some different species than the rest of us, or (b) adds to the perception that doctors are jerks. I'd prefer to do neither of the two.

Edit: less inflamatory
 
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Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely love my parents...

I'm starting med school this fall and they are over the moon proud of me. I'm happy that I have made them so happy. But their "proudness" is starting to get out of hand. Every time I am introduced to someone, the first thing out their mouths is "he's going to medical school." When we get together with friends or family, the fact that I am going to medical school is brought up early and often. What really bothers me is that when we are together with my four other siblings, the conversation is absolutely dominated by my going to medical school, even if we're together to celebrate someone else's accomplishments. Even better is when they refer to me as Doctor, even in jest.

I'm not sure how to go about dealing with these situations. For now, I just try to act humble, answer the typical questions everyone asks when they learn I'm going to medical school (so...what are you going to specialize in?), and change the subject as quickly as possible. As far as my siblings go, I just try even harder now to strengthen my relationships with them and act "normal," i.e. not talk about medical stuff and focus more on them. What I really fear is becoming resented by my siblings. Right or wrong, I'd be hard pressed to blame them if they did given the current course of things. I'm sure I'm hardly the only person to experience this, so I was wondering how others have dealt with the proud parent(s).
Thats a nice problem to have. My parents didn't really care.
 
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my parents are the same op. strangers, waitress, store clerk... its embarrassing and i try to balance it and let them be proud. being humble is all i can do.

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Thats a nice problem to have. My parents didn't really care.
Mine cared a lot...about trying to talk me out of it. They thought I was psychotic.

They've been supportive though, especially once it became clear it was going to happen.
 
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I recently had surgery done and as I was getting into our car to go home, the valet says, "Good luck with medical school!" Turns out my mom had gone outside and told the complementary valet while I was under the knife. Parents be proud and you can't stop them.
 
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I have the same thing going on for me. My Dad's a doctor and I'm the only one in the family who decided to go into medicine (I'm 1 of 7) so there is a sentiment that he and I relate a lot more than my other siblings because I'm going through the gauntlet that he went through and we just understand each other that much more because of it. As such, my family is bragging about me all the time.

However, I always always always make it a point to brag about my siblings to avoid any rivalry and plus I love them and am truly proud of my siblings. For example, my brother is currently going to seminary to become a pastor so whenever I'm chatting with one of the pastors of my church and my brother is nearby I pull him over and mention how he's going to seminary and how he graduated magna cum laude from undergrad. For my sister, who's currently working in the Arts, I always brag about how awesome she is for living in places like Morocco and Paris while traveling all over the world.

You let your siblings know you love them in several ways including bragging about them. It lets them know you're proud of them and that you hold them in high regards. Your parents are doing the same thing. They love you and they're showing you. Soak it in, enjoy it. One day they'll no longer be around to shower you with their love and you'll look back at times like these and remember how proud they were of you.

Keep doing what you're doing. Stay humble and get through it. If it really gets out of hand then bring it up to your parents that you may feel uncomfortable with how much your career choice is dominating the conversation.
 
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When all is said in done, it's the deeds we do that should be dictating our status, not our title. I don't say this to sound high and mighty, but say it coming from the perspective of having began to work my way through the system and seeing that docs run the same gamut of personalities and moral standards as the lay person. Because of this, I feel like throwing titles out like that does one of two things: (a) takes advantage of the perception much of the the general public has of physicians as some different species than the rest of us, or (b) adds to the perception that doctors are jerks. I'd prefer to do neither of the two.

I obviously do not disagree with you in that I would probably prefer not to be introduced as Dr. at my wedding. That said, your perspective on whether doctors have earned the high status they enjoy may change (or may not—I don't really know).

I felt sort of like you did in MS1: "Hey, what's the big deal. I don't even really feel like it takes that much intelligence to be a doctor and we're not that different from anyone else."

Now as a rising MS4, I can tell that I will be very proud of being a doctor. At this point in medical school I've been there for people at their darkest moments both physically and mentally. I've made diagnoses that legitimately would have been missed otherwise (including one of Parkinson's). I've watched people die and tried to make them as comfortable as possible in their last days. I've intubated people and bagged them on their way to the ICU. I've rolled people to the OR at 2 in the morning, scrubbed in on their emergent surgeries and helped close them up. I've deescalated and talked down psychotic patients who have started to get agitated. I've done much of this while running on no or almost no sleep.

Honestly the list goes on and on. There are a lot of times where I too will go "what's the big deal, it's just a job," but it's really not just a job. People who are not in medicine will bring you back out of your bubble and let you know that what you do is not normal and it is not something most people could do (either for lack of skill or lack of temperament). They will let you know that, as humble as you want to be about it, doing any of the above things is really amazing and makes people's lives better.

Again I don't disagree in that I, too, like to be humble. But being humble is just that: it implies that you already know that what you do is in some way super cool or important.
 
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Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply. I knew I wasn't the only one who went through this which is a big part of the reason I love SDN!

It seems like everyone has a unique experience in dealing with this situation. If it weren't for the siblings issue, I think it would be a lot easier to just let it go. If they're proud, let them be proud, and if others judge them or myself for it then so be it. At the end of the day, we'll get by just fine. Unfortunately, the siblings thing does complicate things a bit. I think for now, I'm just going to keep letting my folks do their thing; it seems like it could go away at some point. In the meantime, I'll just work on growing the relationships with my siblings and probably let them know that the incessant talk of my accomplishments and future isn't something I exactly relish. If after a while the parents are still going on about, then I can have that talk with them. Thanks again to everyone who chimed in, and good luck to all the fellow "Medical Student (Accepted)s" out there!

How old are your siblings? Are they old enough to understand what's going on?

And would your parents be receptive to something like "Mom and Dad, I'm so excited about med school and so grateful you're so proud of me, but bringing it up all the time is starting to make me feel awkward around my siblings. Could we talk about it a little less when they're around?"
 
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I have the same thing going on for me. My Dad's a doctor and I'm the only one in the family who decided to go into medicine (I'm 1 of 7) so there is a sentiment that he and I relate a lot more than my other siblings because I'm going through the gauntlet that he went through and we just understand each other that much more because of it. As such, my family is bragging about me all the time.

However, I always always always make it a point to brag about my siblings to avoid any rivalry and plus I love them and am truly proud of my siblings. For example, my brother is currently going to seminary to become a pastor so whenever I'm chatting with one of the pastors of my church and my brother is nearby I pull him over and mention how he's going to seminary and how he graduated magna cum laude from undergrad. For my sister, who's currently working in the Arts, I always brag about how awesome she is for living in places like Morocco and Paris while traveling all over the world.

You let your siblings know you love them in several ways including bragging about them. It lets them know you're proud of them and that you hold them in high regards. Your parents are doing the same thing. They love you and they're showing you. Soak it in, enjoy it. One day they'll no longer be around to shower you with their love and you'll look back at times like these and remember how proud they were of you.

Keep doing what you're doing. Stay humble and get through it. If it really gets out of hand then bring it up to your parents that you may feel uncomfortable with how much your career choice is dominating the conversation.

Really appreciate this. Sounds like solid advice.
 
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Hey I'll take that. They can ask me all the questions they want; it's the feeling of getting thrown on stage like a show pony that gets annoying.

I'm stoked that they're so happy, so don't get me wrong. They were a big part of me getting here and deserve to be proud. Just trying to look out for them and the future family dynamics. Appreciate the advice.

Don't worry -- Their friends will get tired of hearing it pretty soon and will let them know one way or another --
:rolleyes:
o_O
:sleep:
:beat:

Should she be proud of his achievements? Of coure, but there's a time and a place. If the status dictated by his title means as much to her as you suggest it should, then there's a serious issue that needs to be addressed between sloop and his girlfriend.

A) It is entirely socially proper for a medical doctor to be addressed as such when referred to in the third person in a formal situation. So yes, the wedding invitation should say Dr. John Sloop. At the wedding, if people call you Dr. Sloop, you can say "Please, call me John" For a non-medical doctor, it's permitted, but a bit pompous.

B) Of course she's proud of you! She should be and you want her to be. The "He's so amazing and I'm thrilled he's doing so well" is a generous sentiment. A "I'm thrilled at how well our team is doing - we're very fortunate" is also highly positive and supportive. But a "My husband's a doctor - I'm/we're better than you" is not a pretty sentiment, and if that's what it is, throw that fish back.​
 
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you have it better than me, I never knew my mother and my dad betrayed everything he stood for to provide me with a better life
 
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Maybe they arn't aware of how ordinary you are at this time? Could help to say that tens of thousand of people go into medical school in this country. There are some 900k physicians in the U.S.

Tens of thousands of the smartest people in the country
Doesn't make us any less awesome
 
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Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely love my parents...

I'm starting med school this fall and they are over the moon proud of me. I'm happy that I have made them so happy. But their "proudness" is starting to get out of hand. Every time I am introduced to someone, the first thing out their mouths is "he's going to medical school." When we get together with friends or family, the fact that I am going to medical school is brought up early and often. What really bothers me is that when we are together with my four other siblings, the conversation is absolutely dominated by my going to medical school, even if we're together to celebrate someone else's accomplishments. Even better is when they refer to me as Doctor, even in jest.

I'm not sure how to go about dealing with these situations. For now, I just try to act humble, answer the typical questions everyone asks when they learn I'm going to medical school (so...what are you going to specialize in?), and change the subject as quickly as possible. As far as my siblings go, I just try even harder now to strengthen my relationships with them and act "normal," i.e. not talk about medical stuff and focus more on them. What I really fear is becoming resented by my siblings. Right or wrong, I'd be hard pressed to blame them if they did given the current course of things. I'm sure I'm hardly the only person to experience this, so I was wondering how others have dealt with the proud parent(s).

You can't control how your parents interact with you relative to their siblings. I have four and I'm the one everyone thought would be a screw up...meanwhile I'm the only one that has a degree, much less three degrees. lol.

Interestingly...my Dad is a doc, and acts a lot like your parents. He's obviously very proud. My mom, also a doc, said "that's nice," when I got in and went back to gaggling about my sister who just had a baby with a dude that lives in a trailer.

If I had to choose, I'd take the proud side all day long.
 
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smartest people
highly debatable....

Have you seen GPAs for low tier med schools, DO schools, or even for so called "mid-tier" schools? Have you looked at the resumes for the thousands of US IMGs coming into residency here?
Folks gone into private equity and investment banking from top 20 undergrad had like 3.95 averages and multiple prestigious internships. These companies don't even recruit from non-top 20 undergrads, let alone, random person with a 3.7 gpa from x state school. Also, try meeting some MIT, caltech, berkley, and stanford engineering type grads. Would blow the water out of 50% of med students.
Anyways, no point in arguing because it derails the thread entirely.

My point was that, when you actually open your mind up to how much smarter some people are and appreciate how common it is to do medicine, it is very humbling. Medicine still has extremely smart and hard working individuals. I am happy to be part of this great community. We just arn't by any means the most successful or smartest on average, unfortunately.

Anyways OP, enjoy the limelight and let your parents be proud, but be open to the fact that we might not be as amazing as we think.
 
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Sorry that your mom doesn't think that you're a bright ray of sunshine
 
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highly debatable....

Have you seen GPAs for low tier med schools, DO schools, or even for so called "mid-tier" schools? Have you looked at the resumes for the thousands of US IMGs coming into residency here?
Folks gone into private equity and investment banking from top 20 undergrad had like 3.95 averages and multiple prestigious internships. These companies don't even recruit from non-top 20 undergrads, let alone, random person with a 3.7 gpa from x state school. Also, try meeting some MIT, caltech, berkley, and stanford engineering type grads. Would blow the water out of 50% of med students.
Anyways, no point in arguing because it derails the thread entirely.

My point was that, when you actually open your mind up to how much smarter some people are and appreciate how common it is to do medicine, it is very humbling. Medicine still has extremely smart and hard working individuals. I am happy to be part of this great community. We just arn't by any means the most successful or smartest on average, unfortunately.

Anyways OP, enjoy the limelight and let your parents be proud, but be open to the fact that we might not be as amazing as we think.

Dude, the only study I know/have seen that specifically looked at IQ by profession had physicians with a median IQ just over 120 which was higher than the other categories and the interquartile range was on the smaller end.

On average, physicians are just about the smartest professional group there is (without trying to break people into ridiculously small subsets like "yeah, but what about Nobel Laureate Nuclear Physicists?").
 
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My $0.02. I'm a parent and if I am doing something that embarrasses my kid or compromising their relationship with others (esp. siblings), I would definitely want them to tell me about it in a respectful way.

"I feel how proud you are of me, and I appreciate it so much! But I noticed that my bro and sis seem to feel ___ about it."

Just depends if your parents would be receptive or not. Nevertheless, congratulations and enjoy your summer!
 
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My brother and I enjoy our sibling rivalry. I find every opportunity to remind him that I make money helping people, and he makes money making rich people richer (he's in finance).

But, I guess that is the kind of brotherly love we have.
 
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My $0.02. I'm a parent and if I am doing something that embarrasses my kid or compromising their relationship with others (esp. siblings), I would definitely want them to tell me about it in a respectful way.

"I feel how proud you are of me, and I appreciate it so much! But I noticed that my bro and sis seem to feel ___ about it."

Just depends if your parents would be receptive or not. Nevertheless, congratulations and enjoy your summer!

Agree highly with the bolded. Nothing wrong with your parents being proud of you, but if it's starting to compromise your relationship with your siblings or even causing major tension I'd talk to them and your siblings about it (separately).

Dude, the only study I know/have seen that specifically looked at IQ by profession had physicians with a median IQ just over 120 which was higher than the other categories and the interquartile range was on the smaller end.

On average, physicians are just about the smartest professional group there is (without trying to break people into ridiculously small subsets like "yeah, but what about Nobel Laureate Nuclear Physicists?").

I'm actually surprised it's that low, it's makes sense physicians would be so high comparatively though. There are very few fields (outside of research) which require such a long period of dedicated learning and additionally require a person to be a lifetime learner to stay up to date and successful. It takes a pretty bright person to be able to continuously handle a volume of information like that with pretty limited time.
 
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Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely love my parents...

I'm starting med school this fall and they are over the moon proud of me. I'm happy that I have made them so happy. But their "proudness" is starting to get out of hand. Every time I am introduced to someone, the first thing out their mouths is "he's going to medical school." When we get together with friends or family, the fact that I am going to medical school is brought up early and often. What really bothers me is that when we are together with my four other siblings, the conversation is absolutely dominated by my going to medical school, even if we're together to celebrate someone else's accomplishments. Even better is when they refer to me as Doctor, even in jest.

I'm not sure how to go about dealing with these situations. For now, I just try to act humble, answer the typical questions everyone asks when they learn I'm going to medical school (so...what are you going to specialize in?), and change the subject as quickly as possible. As far as my siblings go, I just try even harder now to strengthen my relationships with them and act "normal," i.e. not talk about medical stuff and focus more on them. What I really fear is becoming resented by my siblings. Right or wrong, I'd be hard pressed to blame them if they did given the current course of things. I'm sure I'm hardly the only person to experience this, so I was wondering how others have dealt with the proud parent(s).

I think it's sweet that your family is proud of you! Is it weird that my parents were the opposite? They tried to dissuade me from going for many years. My mother said I would end up broke and unhappy. My dad told me I'd get bored. Six years later I'm sort of broke and every once in a while I'd rather fold jeans at the Gap, but I'm not unhappy ;) and definitely not bored, haha.

Anyways, I say embrace it. For this grace period between today and when medical school begins, you'll look back on it these days as your most carefree. But remember that someday, someone calling you "doctor" is going to feel like a burden, and you don't want to resent the title because your family places you on a pedestal.

BTW if you're like me you'll occasionally forget how to do something or say something wacky, and then your family will throw it in your face - "Why don't you know the answer to that? You're a doctor for goodness sakes...you can't convert Celsius? how the **** did you get a medical degree"...blah blah blah :D
 
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But remember that someday, someone calling you "doctor" is going to feel like a burden,

It already feels like a burden because it usually means someone is about to ask me something that I really should probably know but don't. I'm not even a doctor yet.

Nurse: "Hey, doc, so is the plan for him to go to cardiac cath today?"
Me: "Err, well, I missed rounds this morning and haven't talked with my team yet because I had an exam but, uh, *looks at signout sheet* yeah, I think so . . . Yes. He's going to cath today."
 
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highly debatable....

Have you seen GPAs for low tier med schools, DO schools, or even for so called "mid-tier" schools? Have you looked at the resumes for the thousands of US IMGs coming into residency here?
Folks gone into private equity and investment banking from top 20 undergrad had like 3.95 averages and multiple prestigious internships. These companies don't even recruit from non-top 20 undergrads, let alone, random person with a 3.7 gpa from x state school. Also, try meeting some MIT, caltech, berkley, and stanford engineering type grads. Would blow the water out of 50% of med students.
Anyways, no point in arguing because it derails the thread entirely.

My point was that, when you actually open your mind up to how much smarter some people are and appreciate how common it is to do medicine, it is very humbling. Medicine still has extremely smart and hard working individuals. I am happy to be part of this great community. We just arn't by any means the most successful or smartest on average, unfortunately.

Anyways OP, enjoy the limelight and let your parents be proud, but be open to the fact that we might not be as amazing as we think.
I will say this, whether or not physicians/medical students are the "most intelligent" subset of the population by profession, we are certainly near the top of the heap. It is always jarring when I go from hanging out with all my medical student colleagues and friends to all my friends with whom I grew up. I kind of take the intelligence disparity for granted and I just think everyone is smart when with the med student group. Either way, it doesn't really matter. what matters is your individual intelligence, not that of your peer group.
 
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I will say this, whether or not physicians/medical students are the "most intelligent" subset of the population by profession, we are certainly near the top of the heap. It is always jarring when I go from hanging out with all my medical student colleagues and friends to all my friends with whom I grew up. I kind of take the intelligence disparity for granted and I just think everyone is smart when with the med student group. Either way, it doesn't really matter. what matters is your individual intelligence, not that of your peer group.
Yes. I find many medical students went to good high schools in wealthier areas, so they have been in the "intelligence" bubble for their entire life. I went to a terrible HS in a semi rural area where like 10% of the class ended up graduating from college. I can tell you that being in med school and around physicians warps your perspective of what it takes to be considered intelligent and at the front of the pack.
 
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Tell your parents that you are worried about your siblings' resentment. My parents brag about me and got me stuff with Dr. Mansamusa MD enscribed on it, but they are just as proud of my NP sister and my siblings who work in fast food.

When I told my Brooklyn Irish grandma that I was considering med school during sophmore year, she started telling all her retiree friends that I was going to be a doctor. I told her that it was embarrassing since I might not even follow through. She said, "Eh, they'll all be dead by the time you start, so let me enjoy it"......she wasn't wrong, haha

Family will brag about you no matter what you tell em
 
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I think it's sweet that your family is proud of you! Is it weird that my parents were the opposite? They tried to dissuade me from going for many years. My mother said I would end up broke and unhappy. My dad told me I'd get bored. Six years later I'm sort of broke and every once in a while I'd rather fold jeans at the Gap, but I'm not unhappy ;) and definitely not bored, haha.

Anyways, I say embrace it. For this grace period between today and when medical school begins, you'll look back on it these days as your most carefree. But remember that someday, someone calling you "doctor" is going to feel like a burden, and you don't want to resent the title because your family places you on a pedestal.

BTW if you're like me you'll occasionally forget how to do something or say something wacky, and then your family will throw it in your face - "Why don't you know the answer to that? You're a doctor for goodness sakes...you can't convert Celsius? how the **** did you get a medical degree"...blah blah blah :D


You're not alone, my parents were extremely proud when I got accepted, but they also made quite a few offhand comments about how much work it would be (I wasn't the best student in high school and undergrad). I think there would be a lot less people burning out if more parents were knowledgable about how difficult med school can be and had a realistic view of medicine as a whole. A lot of people realize that medicine isn't for them but force themselves to keep going because of pressures or expectations and end up as miserable doctors. The pride and positivity is great, but getting some reality checks are important too.

My dad is the same way about the last point too. End of first year he had some numbness in some of his fingers and wanted a diagnosis and treatment options. I told him I didn't know, we hadn't really started clinical stuff yet and asked "what are they teaching you at that med school?!?". My parents definitely didn't get that the bulk of pre-clinical years were basic sciences and not actually learning how to treat different conditions.
 
Agree highly with the bolded. Nothing wrong with your parents being proud of you, but if it's starting to compromise your relationship with your siblings or even causing major tension I'd talk to them and your siblings about it (separately).

I'm actually surprised it's that low, it's makes sense physicians would be so high comparatively though. There are very few fields (outside of research) which require such a long period of dedicated learning and additionally require a person to be a lifetime learner to stay up to date and successful. It takes a pretty bright person to be able to continuously handle a volume of information like that with pretty limited time.

When you consider that 130-131 (top 2%) is enough to get you into mensa, I'd be shocked if the average were higher than 120. You don't need to be insanely smart to do medicine and so people with lower IQs can do fine in medicine also. If I also recall correctly the average IQ for researchers wasn't even as high as physicians, when you consider that you need intelligent people in those fields just as much as medicine.
 
When you consider that 130-131 (top 2%) is enough to get you into mensa, I'd be shocked if the average were higher than 120. You don't need to be insanely smart to do medicine and so people with lower IQs can do fine in medicine also. If I also recall correctly the average IQ for researchers wasn't even as high as physicians, when you consider that you need intelligent people in those fields just as much as medicine.
Many other fields, like research, have lower average IQs because entrance into their fields are so unrestricted. I know plenty of people in PhD programs who have no business going into research and it is not hard to to get into ~a~ PhD program somewhere. Physicians were in the top X% percent of pre-meds and I'm sure if you look at the top X% of lawyers, researchers, other academics fields that the difference in average IQ will become more negligible.
 
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Many other fields, like research, have lower average IQs because entrance into their fields are so unrestricted. I know plenty of people in PhD programs who have no business going into research and it is not hard to to get into ~a~ PhD program somewhere. Physicians were in the top X% percent of pre-meds and I'm sure if you look at the top X% of lawyers, researchers, other academics fields that the difference in average IQ will become more negligible.

Exactly right. These are fields that deserve the best and brightest also, but because of lower standards, they have people who should not be in the field to being with. You are also right in that if one looks at the range of people who are in these fields there are quite a few bright people also. Because of these low standards, these bright people/hardworking people who should have a more secure future have to fight with everyone in their own fields for the resources they have (ex. grants, clients, etc.).
 
My proudest moment was getting National Merit Semi-Finalist, 99.5th percentile PSAT master race. It's all been downhill from there. Still waiting on getting to the top .5% in income commensurate with my PSAT score and I think I'll be waiting a long time :annoyed:
 
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