Question for DESI MEN

[Daichi Katase]

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Desi girls are nice, but i don't limit myself. Are most of you opposed to inter-cultural or inter-racial relationships?

 

[tinkerbelle]

Desi girls are nice, but i don't limit myself. Are most of you opposed to inter-cultural or inter-racial relationships?

Opposed? God no. I'm all for interracial relationships... probably cause i'm only half Indian....

 

[tinkerbelle]

ok Diesel, I can't find the term JITT in the lounge. What does it mean 😕

 

[junebuguf]

Opposed? God no. I'm all for interracial relationships... probably cause i'm only half Indian....

Half Indian girls are hot! 👍

 

[seev99]

holla!

 

[Old_Mil]

That list isn't merely stereotyping, its downright wrong. As someone who considers himself to be pretty liberal and also knows other Indians who would be considered liberal...This is universal across liberal and conservative ideologies, and assigning solely to one is rhetoric masquerading as social commentary.

I think you've misunderstood my use of the terms liberal and conservative in this case, which weren't intended to refer to political ideologies. Perhaps "traditional" and "non-traditional" would have been better, but that would have left the door open a misinterpretation involving cultural preferences... Perhaps category A and category B would have been best.

 

[pakidoc]

so there are abcds and fobs, for those, like me, who are niether:
obcd: Off the Boat Cool Desis 😀 😀

 

[Ambs]

so there are abcds and fobs, for those, like me, who are niether:
obcd: Off the Boat Cool Desis 😀 😀

You're good people, 😉

 

[LadyBulldog]

ok Diesel, I can't find the term JITT in the lounge. What does it mean 😕

i was wondering the same thing........

 

[swifteagle43]

However, if you're a culturally American but conservative Indian guy you're going to be incompatible both with the girls you grew up with here and the ones from the old country and might as well not waste your time dating Indian girls.

True......to some respects. I feel like I can sometimes connect better w/ white girls than I can with Indian girls sometimes. Its weird as hell.

But at the end of the day I know I must marry south-asian(indian, paki or bangoli) cause because I don't want my gene pool to get drowned out in the whiteness.

But I agree with you. I am conservative and very american and its sometime hard to connect with indian girls here(i have't tried over seas yet).

Old_mill...you have truly exonerated yourself from the post about affirmative action...::Tips his hat to Old_mill::

 

[Tristero]

I don't think i would get arranged...but I definitely like international girls
They have a much different perspective thayt you just don't find on this side of the Atlantic, and I love accents.

also, Its so cute when they start getting angry about how i like GW Bush 🙂

I don't think you should focus on not dating while you study, just because that sounds lika pretty ****ty 20s, and in all the relationships i've been in minus one, the girls have actually helped me become MORE focused.

If a girl is distracting you to the point where it is negatively affecting you, as happened with me before, you just need to get out of the relationship, and move on. but don't have some no dating rule, that blows.

 

[Sam Fisher]

Is just me or do desi girls just tend to be some of the most stuck-up and snobbish people you've ever met.(not all of them though).

I'm currently a desi guy dating a non-desi girl. I don't know why they all act as if desi's can only date other desi's. However for the girls I could sometimes understand because their parents get mad if it's not an indian guy. Or they get mad if the girl is dating at all.

 

[MD Rapper]

my parents have told me to focus on my studies...they told me i have to become a doctor or else they will disown me...

I hope you're not serious.... if you are, have you ever heard of being the creator of your own destiny?

I'm not necessarily singling you out specifically, but I think it's ridiculous that this still goes on in our community.

 

[MD Rapper]

Is just me or do desi girls just tend to be some of the most stuck-up and snobbish people you've ever met.

I used to feel the same way until I actually got to know them instead of immediately judging them... but yeah, some appear to be stuck-up... and yes, there is a good percentage that just are. A lot of them seem to grow out of it though.

 

[swifteagle43]

I used to feel the same way until I actually got to know them instead of immediately judging them... but yeah, some appear to be stuck-up... and yes, there is a good percentage that just are. A lot of them seem to grow out of it though.

Dude- I think for the most part indian girls themselves are confused as hell! I think indian guys mature much faster than indian women in some respects(especially relationships).

 

[MD Rapper]

Dude- I think for the most part indian girls themselves are confused as hell! I think indian guys mature much faster than indian women in some respects(especially relationships).

I agree about the relationships thing...

 

[tinkerbelle]

Dude- I think for the most part indian girls themselves are confused as hell! I think indian guys mature much faster than indian women in some respects(especially relationships).

a guy maturing faster than a girl? impossibe

How are we confused?

 

[MD Rapper]

a guy maturing faster than a girl? impossibe

How are we confused?

This is sort of tough to get around.. here is what I think... well, this is a common scenario for our community, especially at our age.

The Indian guy is often the one who wants to settle down fast. They meet someone they are absolutely attracted to and they want to make it a done deal, so to say. Dating, potential marriage partner, and beyond etc...

The Indian girl is more of the type to just want to handle her business, spend time with those she cares about, is not particularly concerned for a relationship, and enjoys being single and leading the single lifestyle.

This is what makes Indian guys feel that Indian girls are confusing... because the guys are often not looking at things from the girl's perspective. Then girls get annoyed with these ultra-serious guys and don't want to have anything to do it. The drama ensues from that point forward....

By the way, I'm making quite a few generalizations here, so don't flame me for that. I know everyone is different with their relationship preferences... but it seems like the highest percentage of indian drama comes from some form of this arrangement.

 

[swifteagle43]

a guy maturing faster than a girl? impossibe

How are we confused?

Don't know what you want. Don't know what the market looks like. Don't understand the nature of relationships(it ain't bollywood!). Aren't agressive in recipricating feelings if a desi dude likes you. Meh.... 🙂 need i go on?

Desi girls have put relationships as a backburner priority instead of a front burner thing and as guys we can kinda get left stranded.

HERE IS THE CATCH 22 OF OUR GENERATION:
Desi girl can't date because her parents will flip. Desi girl doesn't want a traditional mairrage. something has got to give! I get the feeling that the only way desi girls will date is if some mighty dula straight out of a bollywood movie will jump into her lap or something.

 

[Tristero]

This is sort of tough to get around.. here is what I think... well, this is a common scenario for our community, especially at our age.

The Indian guy is often the one who wants to settle down fast. They meet someone they are absolutely attracted to and they want to make it a done deal, so to say. Dating, potential marriage partner, and beyond etc...

The Indian girl is more of the type to just want to handle her business, spend time with those she cares about, is not particularly concerned for a relationship, and enjoys being single and leading the single lifestyle.

This is what makes Indian guys feel that Indian girls are confusing... because the guys are often not looking at things from the girl's perspective. Then girls get annoyed with these ultra-serious guys and don't want to have anything to do it. The drama ensues from that point forward....

By the way, I'm making quite a few generalizations here, so don't flame me for that. I know everyone is different with their relationship preferences... but it seems like the highest percentage of indian drama comes from some form of this arrangement.

WHAT the hell are you talking about?! Indian guys wanna get married! its the exact opposite...girls wanna get married, and guys just want play. thats the way its been since the world was created.

 

[Tristero]

Don't know what you want. Don't know what the market looks like. Don't understand the nature of relationships(it ain't bollywood!). Aren't agressive in recipricating feelings if a desi dude likes you. Meh.... 🙂 need i go on?

Desi girls have put relationships as a backburner priority instead of a front burner thing and as guys we can kinda get left stranded.

HERE IS THE CATCH 22 OF OUR GENERATION:
Desi girl can't date because her parents will flip. Desi girl doesn't want a traditional mairrage. something has got to give! I get the feeling that the only way desi girls will date is if some mighty dula straight out of a bollywood movie will jump into her lap or something.

Nah man, all it is is desi girl thinks shes hot s**t. thats it.

is the EXACT same thing as a JAP complex. why waste your time with a high maintenance indian girl when a hispanic (or white asian etc etc) one will love you for less?

 

[swifteagle43]

WHAT the hell are you talking about?! Indian guys wanna get married! its the exact opposite...girls wanna get married, and guys just want play. thats the way its been since the world was created.

naw dude...its backward in indian culture. Guys want mairrage to focus on their career and success and the success of their partner.

Nah man, all it is is desi girl thinks shes hot s**t. thats it.

is the EXACT same thing as a JAP complex. why waste your time with a high maintenance indian girl when a hispanic (or white asian etc etc) one will love you for less?

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAH!

i don't know if u r being racist but its funny....I never thought about this Jap complex but it is kinda true. 🙂

But for the record I do not condone this behavior but I still find the message interesting to contemplate

 

[junebuguf]

What really bothers me is desi girls who try to play to both sides--being modern and liberal and demanding equal standing socially even though most of our parents still have parties where the men congregate in one room and the women in another (usually the kitchen). And yet, there are so many desi girls who eschew that sort of tradition and all that acompanies it (going to temple regularly, actually being a *good* cook, knowing when, where and how to speak....) but proclaim themselves as respectful of tradition. Speaking your mind and being independent are fine, but you can't be traditional if you can't cook!!!

Why can no Indian girls cook??? Why aren't Indian parents pushing this more? There is so much crap guys will put up with for good ras malai.

 

[Daichi Katase]

Is just me or do desi girls just tend to be some of the most stuck-up and snobbish people you've ever met.(not all of them though).

I'm currently a desi guy dating a non-desi girl. I don't know why they all act as if desi's can only date other desi's. However for the girls I could sometimes understand because their parents get mad if it's not an indian guy. Or they get mad if the girl is dating at all.

👍 amen

 

[tinkerbelle]

The Indian guy is often the one who wants to settle down fast. They meet someone they are absolutely attracted to and they want to make it a done deal, so to say. Dating, potential marriage partner, and beyond etc...

If i found a guy i was attracted to and who had an awesome personality and who was actually looking for something long term, I'd be in heaven.

The Indian girl is more of the type to just want to handle her business, spend time with those she cares about, is not particularly concerned for a relationship, and

sooo bored of the single life style

This is what makes Indian guys feel that Indian girls are confusing... because the guys are often not looking at things from the girl's perspective. Then girls get annoyed with these ultra-serious guys and don't want to have anything to do it. The drama ensues from that point forward....

I think Indian girls are looking for relationships as well. The problem (that I have had anyways) is that Indian guys come on way too strong and want to go way too fast.

 

[MD Rapper]

WHAT the hell are you talking about?! Indian guys wanna get married! its the exact opposite...girls wanna get married, and guys just want play. thats the way its been since the world was created.

Sorry, let me emphasize a few points from my post...

"this is a common scenario for our community, especially at our age."

and

"it seems like the highest percentage of indian drama comes from some form of this arrangement."

I'm not saying that the opposite situation doesn't happen... of course it does.. I was just outlining a common scenario for the type of problem some of the people on this forum were talking about...

So in the same context of some of the comments on this forum, I've seen lots and lots of fights, tears, and wasted time on some situation at a club where a guy will be trying to control her ex-girlfriend or someone he has been trying to go out with for years and then in turn, she will be trying to break away from him... Another guy comes into the picture because she didn't ever really want the original guy and there is a fist fight. The club has to shut down early and everyone goes to get some late-night food at a diner.

That type of situation in particular stems from the miscommunication I was originally talking about.

 

[junebuguf]

Most Indian girls treat guys like accessories. Its ironic, sort of like reverse arm candy. Gotta have the Coach bag and the Manolo heels and the Bebe top and oh, someone who'll reflect the light from my pink ann taylor skirt well and be the envy of all my friends.

 

[MD Rapper]

I think Indian girls are looking for relationships as well. The problem (that I have had anyways) is that Indian guys come on way too strong and want to go way too fast.

Thats exactly right... some indo guys need to learn how to be patient with indo girls. It's not a contest to be won... ur actually trying to form a working relationship with the other person.

By the way tinkerbelle, how have you been? You were going to interview at georgetown right? Did that go alright?

 

[Tristero]

Apperently you guys live in some kind of alternate desi dimension. In Miami, and Florida as far as I've seen, the desi girls are all looking for husbands and the desi guys are looking for fun. Of course there are some exceptions, but thats the general rule.

I wans't trying to be racist with JAP comment, but in personal experience desi girls have taken ALOT more out of my time and money and given a lot less, emotionally and physically than nondesi girls. And the prude thing is kinda cute you know, but I mean, if you want a serious relationship, then you should be serious about all things. And its pretty hypocritical, seein ghow desi girls will do some things which i consider to be more immoral than sex, but wont have sex. Am I right or am I right?

Also desi girls will HATE. Ive had desi girls hate on me just because they were jealous that their friend was all happy and with a goodguy. I mean, its just bull****. but then again, what can you expect with Gujratis.

 

[tinkerbelle]

Most Indian girls treat guys like accessories. Its ironic, sort of like reverse arm candy. Gotta have the Coach bag and the Manolo heels and the Bebe top and oh, someone who'll reflect the light from my pink ann taylor skirt well and be the envy of all my friends.

man, i must be out of it if a guy knows more about fassion than i do I recognize bebe and ann taylor.... but coach and manolo?

 

[MD Rapper]

And the prude thing is kinda cute you know, but I mean, if you want a serious relationship, then you should be serious about all things. And its pretty hypocritical, seein ghow desi girls will do some things which i consider to be more immoral than sex, but wont have sex. Am I right or am I right?

So true, so true!

 

[tinkerbelle]

By the way tinkerbelle, how have you been? You were going to interview at georgetown right? Did that go alright?

The interview couldn't have gone too well of I wouldn't have been waitlisted It's ok though. I have a few med schools to pick from anyways.

How's your SMP program going? You must be happy that you're half way done 🙂

 

[bidster]

man, i must be out of it if a guy knows more about fassion than i do I recognize bebe and ann taylor.... but coach and manolo?

Don't worry tinkerbelle--I don't think most of the north american continent had heard of Manolo Blahnik (ridiculously-overpriced-shoe designer) before Sex and the City....who can forget the line:

"Please sir, you can take my Fendi bag, you can take my ring and my watch, but please don't take my Manolo Blahniks." 😱

 

[junebuguf]

man, i must be out of it if a guy knows more about fassion than i do I recognize bebe and ann taylor.... but coach and manolo?

If you dont know what Coach and Manolos are, you're probably a butch ****. Sadly, my knowledge comes from following girlfriends around malls like a hapless valet.


PS So this is actually the one time I did anything close to breaking the law. I went to NY with my ex girlfriend last summer and we were walking around SOHO and found this guy selling fake Kate Spade bags (I guess they're called Fake Spades) and she flipped out, 'cause the real thing is like $500. So while she was haggling with this guy the cops came up and arrested him because you're not allowed to sell fake spades w/ the Kate Spade tag on them. Well, 2 seconds after he left, she shoplifted 4 of this guys bags and before I knew what the hell happened, we were off searching for the train back to our hotel........and this girl was Indian.

 

[tinkerbelle]

Don't worry tinkerbelle--I don't think most of the north american continent had heard of Manolo Blahnik (ridiculously-overpriced-shoe designer) before Sex and the City....who can forget the line:

"Please sir, you can take my Fendi bag, you can take my ring and my watch, but please don't take my Manolo Blahniks." 😱

ohhh.... i remember seeing that episode.. haha

 

[tinkerbelle]

If you dont know what Coach and Manolos are, you're probably a butch ****.

think whatever you'd like

*not everyone is as materialistic as you and your friends appear to be*

 

[LadyBulldog]

Why can no Indian girls cook??? Why aren't Indian parents pushing this more? There is so much crap guys will put up with for good ras malai.

I can cook....... and the thing is, i know lots of girls from India who can't cook. Sure, some ABDs can't cook and some girls from india/pakistan can cook-- but no way is it the rule!

Besides, cooking indian is easy, once u get all the spices

 

[LadyBulldog]

If i found a guy i was attracted to and who had an awesome personality and who was actually looking for something long term, I'd be in heaven.



sooo bored of the single life style



I think Indian girls are looking for relationships as well. The problem (that I have had anyways) is that Indian guys come on way too strong and want to go way too fast.

SO TRUE!

why does it seem like the desi guys outnumber the girls here????

 

[junebuguf]

think whatever you'd like

*not everyone is as materialistic as you and your friends appear to be*

umm thanks for the blanket generalization about me and my friends....I'm glad you were able to glean such insight from a rhetorical and sarcastic statement. 🙄

 

[Tristero]

umm thanks for the blanket generalization about me and my friends....I'm glad you were able to glean such insight from a rhetorical and sarcastic statement. 🙄

that sucks thats the closest youve cometo breakin the law, u must lead a very boring life...i mean cmon you go to UF!

 

[junebuguf]

I can cook....... and the thing is, i know lots of girls from India who can't cook. Sure, some ABDs can't cook and some girls from india/pakistan can cook-- but no way is it the rule!

Besides, cooking indian is easy, once u get all the spices

See thats just wrong....people who think cooking Indian is easy are either innnately talented cooks (I'll give you the benefit of the doubt) or suck and think they're good. Its really hard to tell from the vastness of the....internet.

 

[swifteagle43]

See thats just wrong....people who think cooking Indian is easy are either innnately talented cooks (I'll give you the benefit of the doubt) or suck and think they're good. Its really hard to tell from the vastness of the....internet.

"The MAGIC is in the masala!"

::woman winks as kids run into the lounge after husband has given her a kiss on the cheeck::

"dirty bastards....I am going to sue them for false advertisements" - junebuguf

 

[junebuguf]

yess those commercials do lie....they say "the magic is in the chat masala" and u see a woman wink...it is soooooooooooo not in the masala....cooking is becomming a lost art because some desi girls treat it like a science experiment!

I am learning to cook for myself 🙁 it is sad that women can't even cook. Women who can't cook used to be the exception to the rule. Now the "if you still love me even though I can't/won't" clause they are becomming the rule. Its sad that the mother-the most sacred position in society- won't even be able to cook for her kids.

👍

I'm trying to figure out the pressure cooker....but everything always comes out under/overcooked, so it rather defeats the purpose.

 

[Premedtomed]

Wow I never thought that this would be such a big issue.
Anyways for Indian immigrants like me, I'd say just take it easy
Move on, if you have gone through quite a bit of pain (not feeling independent, family matters coming in your way to look around - just chill.)

Other than that, I think one should keep all the options open.
Luckily I have met white chicks, who are well aware of Indian culture and are down to earth - I personally feel comfortable with them as I understand their situation as being part of the majority (just like in India most of us were) and what not.
I have yet to meet a cool easy going ABCD - quite an irony

I think one should try to establish friendships accross cultural barriers if possible - you will have a better view of the world
Chill 😀

 

[swifteagle43]

Wow I never thought that this would be such a big issue.
Anyways for Indian immigrants like me, I'd say just take it easy
Move on, if you have gone through quite a bit of pain (not feeling independent, family matters coming in your way to look around - just chill.)

Other than that, I think one should keep all the options open.
Luckily I have met white chicks, who are well aware of Indian culture and are down to earth - I personally feel comfortable with them as I understand their situation as being part of the majority (just like in India most of us were) and what not.
I have yet to meet a cool easy going ABCD - quite an irony

I think one should try to establish friendships accross cultural barriers if possible - you will have a better view of the world
Chill 😀

White girls? 🙂 Hahaha....its nice but i am not looking for short term thing

 

[Premedtomed]

White girls? 🙂 Hahaha....its nice but i am not looking for short term thing

Sure, why not
A lot of them are smart, responsible and independent and easy going

Indian chicks have lots of problems.
Of course, desi kudis have their own charm 😉

 

[swifteagle43]

Sure, why not
A lot of them are smart, responsible and independent and easy going

Indian chicks have lots of problems.
Of course, desi kudis have their own charm 😉

Oooh competition for the indian girl....but not reallly.....see the truth is that I wouldn't date a white girl because I don't want the type that would date me(aka liberal). I am looking for a morally conservative-american desi girl 🙂

 

[swifteagle43]

Okay girls YOU WIN! I just went through www.ratemydesi.com and went to NJ as state and looked up males(i am not gay). You are right about 95% of them...gangster wannna be idiots.....

they look MAD sketchy(http://www.ratedesi.com/view.php?i=43057) or MAD stupid(http://www.ratedesi.com/view.php?i=31677) OR JUST REALLY ******ED(http://www.ratedesi.com/view.php?i=23333).....

you girls win.....you do have it harder than us desi guys(the normal ones anyway)...

I would like to nominate this dude for bollywood villan of the year!
http://www.ratedesi.com/view.php?i=43057

 

[DieselPetrolGrl]

Don't know what you want. Don't know what the market looks like. Don't understand the nature of relationships(it ain't bollywood!). Aren't agressive in recipricating feelings if a desi dude likes you. Meh.... 🙂 need i go on?

Desi girls have put relationships as a backburner priority instead of a front burner thing and as guys we can kinda get left stranded.

HERE IS THE CATCH 22 OF OUR GENERATION:
Desi girl can't date because her parents will flip. Desi girl doesn't want a traditional mairrage. something has got to give! I get the feeling that the only way desi girls will date is if some mighty dula straight out of a bollywood movie will jump into her lap or something.

We know what we want...back me up tink!


WE WANT BIG BUTTS AND WE CANNOT LIE
YOU OTHER NINJAS CANT DENY
WHEN A SDNER WALKS IN WITH A ..




dont worry tinky ann taylor is top shelf ninja stuff...we floridians know...u dont board the 400k yatch in coach because everyone suspects its a knockoff and throws cocktail sauce at you!..you do it in your ann taylor skirts that say " im loose..but only footloose ..in a classy way ofcourse!"





(i need to stop posting on this thread)

 

[DieselPetrolGrl]

indian guys bwuahahahah


theya ll marry fobs
its a generalization i know
but you guys are making them too..so bite me



plus u may not want arranged marages " we want to pick a internation woman""

bs !

lets all pray u will be arranged because with that attitude ur going to alone for a long time!