Relationship Center

[pinkpuppy9]

How do those of you that are out of state students handle the SO (or family member/s) visiting or you visiting them? Are visits only able to happen during the summer and holiday breaks? How often do you visit one another and for how long?

Our plan is for me to come home for all holidays/school breaks (I get a whole week off for Thanksgiving!!) and him to drive out maybe once or twice a semester. Luckily, we're only 6 hours apart so there's no need for plane tickets. We've thought about meeting in Chicago for a fun weekend (2 hours from me, 5 hours from him), but I have to see how I can handle my first semester. The only problem is he will be leaving 2 cats at home (not a huge deal to get a cat sitter) and I will either be bringing or leaving 2 cats and a rabbit. I'm rooming with classmates though, so if we all get along just fine, I would consider asking them to take care of my fur babies for a weekend.

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[Kpowell14]

The first year of vet school I only went to see my Husband for thanksgiving and Christmas. Then he came to see me for spring break and then between one of our blocks he came for a long weekend. The first semester of vet school was the hardest for me (adjusting to new study habits, new place, new everything) and waiting for breaks really let us enjoy the time we had together without pressure of needing to study.

 

[Cyndia]

How do those of you that are out of state students handle the SO (or family member/s) visiting or you visiting them? Are visits only able to happen during the summer and holiday breaks? How often do you visit one another and for how long?

My SO lived in Europe, so we couldn't do any short weekend visits. He flew over for 10 days during spring break, and then I went to go see him over christmas and for 8 days in October when I literally just skipped a week of class to go see him on my birthday. I wouldn't recommend that though, lol. I picked a week when I had no tests and we had a day off, but I bought the tickets before I started vet school and I didn't realize how necessary it was to be in anatomy lab to learn the practical material.. I had an anatomy exam a day after I came back, so I ended up spending a very hellish 16 hours in the anatomy lab learning everything I had missed.

My family also came to visit a few times in the spring semester because my parents were interested in investing in property, and I actually found it to be really distracting and frustrating to have guests during the week while I had classes. I had so much going on the weeks they were here that I was barely at home, and when I was home I really needed to study, but felt guilty and was pressured into spending time with them instead. Thankfully they only ever came to visit for a few days at a time, so I never fell too far behind, but it definitely sucks to have people visiting when you have things to do. Try your best to time visits for days when you have a day or two off or no exams coming up. Even if your SO understands the pressures of vet school, I'm sure they would still be a little upset if they came all the way to visit you and then you couldn't make much time for them.

 

[Rainheart]

Can anyone offer insight on starting a relationship while in clinics? I feel like I need to confirm that it actually is do-able in some way (I just got my first rotation schedule and I feel like I will never see the sun again). Thanks

 

[Minnerbelle]

Can anyone offer insight on starting a relationship while in clinics? I feel like I need to confirm that it actually is do-able in some way (I just got my first rotation schedule and I feel like I will never see the sun again). Thanks

Totally doable. My ex dumped me early in clinics, so then like a week later I was a mess and was on a rebound online dating madness. Within like 2 months, I had met the most dreamiest super sweet guy ever, and I've been with him since (really, it ended up being an upgrade from the ex). It's been over 2 years now. We would get married now if it weren't logistically annoying, or end up with us collectively being taxed more even if filing separately. Our finances are pretty much shared at this point.

Anyway, It was totes fine. I just prioritized seeing him on my days off. If I were on call or had treatment duty or whatever, he'd just come and stay at my place. You just have to be realistic about when you will have free time and be upfront about it.

 

[orca2011]

Can anyone offer insight on starting a relationship while in clinics? I feel like I need to confirm that it actually is do-able in some way (I just got my first rotation schedule and I feel like I will never see the sun again). Thanks

Definitely. I'm not going to refer to mine since he's a vet student and we're both in clinics but my old roomie is dating a physics PhD student she met last year. They're still making it work and he actually ended up transferring programs and now is in NY. Like Minner, she just prioritizes seeing him on weekends off and stuff. Not relationship related, but when I have time off, I also prioritize outside of vet school things to keep my sane.

 

[scb44f]

Can anyone offer insight on starting a relationship while in clinics? I feel like I need to confirm that it actually is do-able in some way (I just got my first rotation schedule and I feel like I will never see the sun again). Thanks

Yup, doable. Feel free to pm me if you have any questions about clinics at Mizzou

 

[Rainheart]

Totally doable. My ex dumped me early in clinics, so then like a week later I was a mess and was on a rebound online dating madness. Within like 2 months, I had met the most dreamiest super sweet guy ever, and I've been with him since (really, it ended up being an upgrade from the ex). It's been over 2 years now. We would get married now if it weren't logistically annoying, or end up with us collectively being taxed more even if filing separately. Our finances are pretty much shared at this point.

Anyway, It was totes fine. I just prioritized seeing him on my days off. If I were on call or had treatment duty or whatever, he'd just come and stay at my place. You just have to be realistic about when you will have free time and be upfront about it.

Definitely. I'm not going to refer to mine since he's a vet student and we're both in clinics but my old roomie is dating a physics PhD student she met last year. They're still making it work and he actually ended up transferring programs and now is in NY. Like Minner, she just prioritizes seeing him on weekends off and stuff. Not relationship related, but when I have time off, I also prioritize outside of vet school things to keep my sane.

Thank you both; since I haven't started clinics yet, I'm not sure what to expect in terms of time. We start on Wednesday, so I'm hoping to have an idea here soon. There is never a good time to start a relationship, I just have a really good feeling about this one and don't want it to be doomed from the start.

Yup, doable. Feel free to pm me if you have any questions about clinics at Mizzou

Cool, after finals/white coat is over I'll likely message you. Just not sure I'll have time before that. I'll be seeing you here soon across the way (I won't be in your rotation until June, though).

 

[Minnerbelle]

Thank you both; since I haven't started clinics yet, I'm not sure what to expect in terms of time. We start on Wednesday, so I'm hoping to have an idea here soon. There is never a good time to start a relationship, I just have a really good feeling about this one and don't want it to be doomed from the start.

To be honest, I wouldn't worry about it being doomed from the start. A person you just met is perfect because they won't have any expectations of you from previous history. None of that, "school is more important to you than me" ****, cause hello! It is. They get to know you at the time things are the most demanding. Just be realistic. Don't be the person who's like "oh, let's plan on doing stuff this weekend. I'll see if someone on my rotation can cover x,y,z" and need to cancel last minute because you realized you couldn't pawn off your responsibilities to your classmate.

 

[battie]

Resurrecting this for now:

The man and I have been doing pretty good. There was definitely some rockiness there a while back (complained on here or in the RANT thread when it was all going down). But we had a good heart to heart in July and that definitely helped a lot.

But I feel like a rocky patch is going to rear it's ugly head here soon. I took a job as a resident director at my undergrad, so we're long distance again (5 hours/300 miles). He works 40 hours a week; I work 40 hours a week with 24/7 on call for one to three residence halls. So traveling back and forth is a little difficult, but not impossible. It's definitely been rougher this time around and I can tell it's wearing on him quite a bit. He would really like me to be able to move back to Denver July 1 when my contract runs out.

One of the other RDs made an awesome excel sheet budget thingy that quite literally covers all the basis for a monthly budget. I've been going through it and adding real information for how much things would cost and it's looking like it would be impossible for me to move back and have us live together financially. We'd have to be doing 3,790 a month between the two of us to break even (and that's with no emergencies popping up). I don't really see that as being easily doable. Right now, he's making around $1,000 a month and I would probably start at $800 a month for the jobs I would want to get that are available there. Right now, the departments of Ag and Wildlife don't have any open positions I qualify for, which is unfortunate cause that would pay better than a vet assistant or a doggy day care attendant.

I am just not looking forward to the conversation we're going to have when I come home in November or December cause it's probably going to end up with me saying it makes more sense for me to stay here for a couple more years (unless I were to get into vet school) and us be long distance for a while (he's definitely not keen on moving into middle of nowhere Nebraska). But in this job, I can save at least 15,000 of my salary, and that's if I don't get promoted. The health insurance is phenomenal and I have no bills for all intents and purposes.

It's just a sucky situation all the way around.

 

[hbr1704]

Resurrecting this for now:

The man and I have been doing pretty good. There was definitely some rockiness there a while back (complained on here or in the RANT thread when it was all going down). But we had a good heart to heart in July and that definitely helped a lot.

But I feel like a rocky patch is going to rear it's ugly head here soon. I took a job as a resident director at my undergrad, so we're long distance again (5 hours/300 miles). He works 40 hours a week; I work 40 hours a week with 24/7 on call for one to three residence halls. So traveling back and forth is a little difficult, but not impossible. It's definitely been rougher this time around and I can tell it's wearing on him quite a bit. He would really like me to be able to move back to Denver July 1 when my contract runs out.

One of the other RDs made an awesome excel sheet budget thingy that quite literally covers all the basis for a monthly budget. I've been going through it and adding real information for how much things would cost and it's looking like it would be impossible for me to move back and have us live together financially. We'd have to be doing 3,790 a month between the two of us to break even (and that's with no emergencies popping up). I don't really see that as being easily doable. Right now, he's making around $1,000 a month and I would probably start at $800 a month for the jobs I would want to get that are available there. Right now, the departments of Ag and Wildlife don't have any open positions I qualify for, which is unfortunate cause that would pay better than a vet assistant or a doggy day care attendant.

I am just not looking forward to the conversation we're going to have when I come home in November or December cause it's probably going to end up with me saying it makes more sense for me to stay here for a couple more years (unless I were to get into vet school) and us be long distance for a while (he's definitely not keen on moving into middle of nowhere Nebraska). But in this job, I can save at least 15,000 of my salary, and that's if I don't get promoted. The health insurance is phenomenal and I have no bills for all intents and purposes.

It's just a sucky situation all the way around.

well I think it is better to be up front and honestly if you are meant to be it will work out. My fiance and I live in different states. He works full-time and I am in vet school. He makes money and I spend money (actually I make some money but for the amount of debt I am in, it's a joke). I mean where is your IS vet school... is it Nebraska? Then technically it may make sense for him at some point to move, but you only spend 2 years in Lincoln and then you move to Ames. It is hard and tough. I have a few friends that have done long distance with their SO for years because of school and work. For my situation my fiance stayed in our home state because he has a good job and I don't plan on staying in Iowa when I graduate, so I'd rather move together once I graduate.

Honestly I wouldn't plan on moving to each other until you get into vet school because depending on where you get in, it may require another move or two.

 

[battie]

well I think it is better to be up front and honestly if you are meant to be it will work out. My fiance and I live in different states. He works full-time and I am in vet school. He makes money and I spend money (actually I make some money but for the amount of debt I am in, it's a joke). I mean where is your IS vet school... is it Nebraska? Then technically it may make sense for him at some point to move, but you only spend 2 years in Lincoln and then you move to Ames. It is hard and tough. I have a few friends that have done long distance with their SO for years because of school and work. For my situation my fiance stayed in our home state because he has a good job and I don't plan on staying in Iowa when I graduate, so I'd rather move together once I graduate.

Honestly I wouldn't plan on moving to each other until you get into vet school because depending on where you get in, it may require another move or two.

My IS is CSU. He and I are both from Aurora, Colorado, and that's where he's at. So getting into CSU and both of us moving directly to FoCo would be beyond ideal. But after getting my rejection from Western last Thursday, I'm not feeling confident in my application at this point for the other schools I applied to. So I'm trying to think worse case scenario of not getting into vet school. He would like me to move back to Colorado. I honestly don't know what my best option is yet. If I moved back to Colorado, I would go from making 20 dollars an hour (once you factor in my lack of bills) to ten dollars an hour, and that just doesn't make sense. Since my last posting, my department has also changed to where my boss is moving and so there's the chance for a promotion.

I do agree with honesty is the best policy. That was never going to be an issue. I'm very apprehensive of the conversation itself. I'm unsure if he's going to seriously consider the points I bring up because he doesn't handle the long distance well.

 

[wheelin2vetmed]

Within like 2 months, I had met the most dreamiest super sweet guy ever, and I've been with him since (really, it ended up being an upgrade from the ex).

omg that sounds like me

 

[WildZoo]

omg that sounds like me

And he's humble too!

 

[kelleylk3]

I am applying to vet schools all over right now (Tufts, Cornell, UPenn, Ohio, VA/MD, Western, AVC, RVC) and me and my boyfriend of 6.5 years have been together since we were 15 and have already been doing the long distance thing throughout undergrad from Boston to New York. We're both graduating a semester early (next month!!) and he is a business major so he is applying to jobs in the Boston area, where we're from. If I don't get into or end up going to Tufts next year, our plan is to do the first year of vet school doing long distance again while he gets experience in his first real job and after that, his plan is to apply to jobs where I am and follow me to wherever I am for my 2nd year. I know it'll be doable, but any words of advice/success stories would be appreciated! Also, did anyone get married while in vet school or do most people wait until they've graduated?

 

[hbr1704]

I know plenty of people that have gotten married in vet school. I am waiting until I graduate for financial reasons.
1. my future husband makes more money than my parent that I list on my financial aid and could alter the amount of loan money I receive (HPSL) despite that i list myself as an independent.
2. the extra money I/we have is used to pay off the interest on my loans.

For me it does not make sense to spend that kind of money on a wedding when I am paying so much already to go to school. I look at it this way, have one great day (wedding) and have to take out more loans and suffer those consequences for years. Suck it up, don't have a wedding and hopefully come out of vet school with less debt. If my family complains about not having a big wedding, well then they can pay for it or stop complaining.

 

[starling144]

Hey guys, I need some advice regarding my 2-year relationship with my boyfriend. Being the selfless person he is, he's made the commitment to move with me wherever I get accepted. He graduated last year (c/o 2015–he's a year older than me) and has a job in upstate NY right now, but is willing to apply to jobs in whichever state I end up attending vet school. That being said, I'm wondering if any of you have had similar experiences, and whether you experienced guilt/regret about having your SO move to an unfamiliar place with you. I'm also wondering whether vet students normally find housing together, or if most people opt to live alone/with other random non-vet students. Would I be jeopardizing my experience if I were to live solely with my boyfriend? I'm open to any suggestions and advice unrelated to the questions I already asked, as this is going to be a completely foreign experience to me and, well, I don't know what I don't know! Any help is appreciated.

 

[WildZoo]

Hey guys, I need some advice regarding my 2-year relationship with my boyfriend. Being the selfless person he is, he's made the commitment to move with me wherever I get accepted. He graduated last year (c/o 2015–he's a year older than me) and has a job in upstate NY right now, but is willing to apply to jobs in whichever state I end up attending vet school. That being said, I'm wondering if any of you have had similar experiences, and whether you experienced guilt/regret about having your SO move to an unfamiliar place with you. I'm also wondering whether vet students normally find housing together, or if most people opt to live alone/with other random non-vet students. Would I be jeopardizing my experience if I were to live solely with my boyfriend? I'm open to any suggestions and advice unrelated to the questions I already asked, as this is going to be a completely foreign experience to me and, well, I don't know what I don't know! Any help is appreciated.

My boyfriend of 5 years is going to be moving with me to Knoxville next year. I've never once felt guilty about bringing him with me. Of course we've talked about getting married forever, and we basically act like we're married, so it was never really a question that he was going to come with me as soon as he could (he graduates in the spring). Why feel guilty if he wants to follow you? That's his decision to make

As far as the living situation, vet students live in all different kinds of circumstances. Some live with classmates, some live with vet students in other years, some live with non-vet students, some live alone. I don't think you'll be missing out on anything. Most o your time at home will be spent studying anyway

 

[fractiousfeline]

Hey guys, I need some advice regarding my 2-year relationship with my boyfriend. Being the selfless person he is, he's made the commitment to move with me wherever I get accepted. He graduated last year (c/o 2015–he's a year older than me) and has a job in upstate NY right now, but is willing to apply to jobs in whichever state I end up attending vet school. That being said, I'm wondering if any of you have had similar experiences, and whether you experienced guilt/regret about having your SO move to an unfamiliar place with you. I'm also wondering whether vet students normally find housing together, or if most people opt to live alone/with other random non-vet students. Would I be jeopardizing my experience if I were to live solely with my boyfriend? I'm open to any suggestions and advice unrelated to the questions I already asked, as this is going to be a completely foreign experience to me and, well, I don't know what I don't know! Any help is appreciated.

After I got accepted to vet school my boyfriend (of only 5 months at the time - crazy, I know) moved with me from Florida all the way to Wisconsin, so yeah, I can definitely relate lol. At first I did feel a little guilty because both of our entire families still live in FL and he used to get pretty homesick. But then he finally found a great job and opportunities started opening up for him that never would've happened back home. It's been a year and a half now and I couldn't be more grateful that he took the leap and moved up here with me. (And he actually likes it more up here now than FL!) Vet school is tough and you'll need all the support you can get. I honestly don't know how I would've survived without him here to keep me sane. I would 100% recommend living with your SO instead of other vet students. You're with your classmates every. single. day. for the next four years and you will NEED a break from talking about school related things when you come home everyday. As I said, I don't know what I would've done if he didn't move up here with me. So if you're fortunate enough to have a SO who is willing and able to move with you wherever you go, take him up on it and enjoy it! Real life continues during vet school, and it's important not to forget that and to make it a priority even during your first year when everything is shiny and new.

 

[VetMed2020]

After I got accepted to vet school my boyfriend (of only 5 months at the time - crazy, I know) moved with me from Florida all the way to Wisconsin, so yeah, I can definitely relate lol. At first I did feel a little guilty because both of our entire families still live in FL and he used to get pretty homesick. But then he finally found a great job and opportunities started opening up for him that never would've happened back home. It's been a year and a half now and I couldn't be more grateful that he took the leap and moved up here with me. (And he actually likes it more up here now than FL!) Vet school is tough and you'll need all the support you can get. I honestly don't know how I would've survived without him here to keep me sane. I would 100% recommend living with your SO instead of other vet students. You're with your classmates every. single. day. for the next four years and you will NEED a break from talking about school related things when you come home everyday. As I said, I don't know what I would've done if he didn't move up here with me. So if you're fortunate enough to have a SO who is willing and able to move with you wherever you go, take him up on it and enjoy it! Real life continues during vet school, and it's important not to forget that and to make it a priority even during your first year when everything is shiny and new.

Thank you so much for sharing this It makes me feel so much better about the situation I am in after ready this.

 

[starling144]

After I got accepted to vet school my boyfriend (of only 5 months at the time - crazy, I know) moved with me from Florida all the way to Wisconsin, so yeah, I can definitely relate lol. At first I did feel a little guilty because both of our entire families still live in FL and he used to get pretty homesick. But then he finally found a great job and opportunities started opening up for him that never would've happened back home. It's been a year and a half now and I couldn't be more grateful that he took the leap and moved up here with me. (And he actually likes it more up here now than FL!) Vet school is tough and you'll need all the support you can get. I honestly don't know how I would've survived without him here to keep me sane. I would 100% recommend living with your SO instead of other vet students. You're with your classmates every. single. day. for the next four years and you will NEED a break from talking about school related things when you come home everyday. As I said, I don't know what I would've done if he didn't move up here with me. So if you're fortunate enough to have a SO who is willing and able to move with you wherever you go, take him up on it and enjoy it! Real life continues during vet school, and it's important not to forget that and to make it a priority even during your first year when everything is shiny and new.

I can't thank you enough for sharing! This puts me at so much ease... I'm glad that you had such a positive experience.

 

[fractiousfeline]

I can't thank you enough for sharing! This puts me at so much ease... I'm glad that you had such a positive experience.

Glad I could help! (You too VetMed2020). Another thing I could say that might help you feel better is that a HUGE portion of my class live with their SO's (more than you would expect are recently married, but many still aren't). It doesn't impact their social lives or vet school experiences at all - they just include their SO's in whatever they're doing with classmates outside of school and it works out great. Even if you find that your class isn't that way and there are more single people living as roommates, it's going to be just fine if you aren't one of them (you'll hear roommate horror stories that will make you want to stay FAR away from that. Of course all roommate situations aren't bad, but some can be rough, even with other vet students!) just put your happiness first and remember to keep your SO a priority and you'll be fine

 

[bluenose]

Hey guys, I need some advice regarding my 2-year relationship with my boyfriend. Being the selfless person he is, he's made the commitment to move with me wherever I get accepted. He graduated last year (c/o 2015–he's a year older than me) and has a job in upstate NY right now, but is willing to apply to jobs in whichever state I end up attending vet school. That being said, I'm wondering if any of you have had similar experiences, and whether you experienced guilt/regret about having your SO move to an unfamiliar place with you. I'm also wondering whether vet students normally find housing together, or if most people opt to live alone/with other random non-vet students. Would I be jeopardizing my experience if I were to live solely with my boyfriend? I'm open to any suggestions and advice unrelated to the questions I already asked, as this is going to be a completely foreign experience to me and, well, I don't know what I don't know! Any help is appreciated.

I'm happy to hear you and others relate to this because I am in the exact same situation! For me it is a 6 year relationship and fiance but still! Thanks for everyones input on this! I also want to ask if anyone has or has heard of good advice regarding "when to have a child" if you are pursuing veterinary medicine. Like when would the soonest reasonable time be? A couple years out of school? What about if you decide to pursue a specialty and have a 3 year residency etc?

 

[that redhead]

I am applying to vet schools all over right now (Tufts, Cornell, UPenn, Ohio, VA/MD, Western, AVC, RVC) and me and my boyfriend of 6.5 years have been together since we were 15 and have already been doing the long distance thing throughout undergrad from Boston to New York. We're both graduating a semester early (next month!!) and he is a business major so he is applying to jobs in the Boston area, where we're from. If I don't get into or end up going to Tufts next year, our plan is to do the first year of vet school doing long distance again while he gets experience in his first real job and after that, his plan is to apply to jobs where I am and follow me to wherever I am for my 2nd year. I know it'll be doable, but any words of advice/success stories would be appreciated! Also, did anyone get married while in vet school or do most people wait until they've graduated?

Got married summer between 2nd and 3rd year, were LD throughout. It was a pain in the ass to plan away from home and although I'm glad I got it over with when I did, I always recommend people just elope.

 

[that redhead]

And I'll add the unromantic opinion: although it was miserable being away from my husband for four freaking years, I think it was for the best for both of us. He got to stay home with his excellent job and save up money for our house. I got to slog through school but it allowed me to focus on my studies and not worry about not being able to devote enough time to him. We had a great relationship going in and it made us stronger, which was totally unexpected at my end. Yeah, you can bring your SO to school activities but I imagine they'll get sick of hearing about the same stuff that they aren't involved in all the time, which is what pretty much every vet school get together eventually entails - so and so professor, such and such test/class/etc. I'm not saying it cannot work, I'm just saying it's not so easy as it seems at first; most of our couples coming in to school were not together by the end of it, regardless of distance. That's just what vet school does to a lot of relationships.

 

[Trilt]

I just want to get a job that is a good fit and lets me do the things I'm passionate about, and having a partner who absolutely adores his (very well paying) job smack-dab in the middle of one of the most veterinarian-saturated places ever really, really doesn't help.

Doesn't help I feel like an absolute bitch for being annoyed that he likes his job and wants to stay here. urgh.

 

[bluenose]

I just want to get a job that is a good fit and lets me do the things I'm passionate about, and having a partner who absolutely adores his (very well paying) job smack-dab in the middle of one of the most veterinarian-saturated places ever really, really doesn't help.

Doesn't help I feel like an absolute bitch for being annoyed that he likes his job and wants to stay here. urgh.

Aw sorry to hear. Just because the area is saturated doesn't mean you can't end up finding a job you like right? It may not be worth having him leave a well paying job he really likes to go somewhere where you may still not find a perfect job? Unless you feel very strongly that the jobs you want most are somewhere else

 

[Trilt]

Aw sorry to hear. Just because the area is saturated doesn't mean you can't end up finding a job you like right? It may not be worth having him leave a well paying job he really likes to go somewhere where you may still not find a perfect job? Unless you feel very strongly that the jobs you want most are somewhere else

That's pretty much the whole crux of what I just said. The area we live in is stuffed full of not just veterinarians, but also veterinarians who treat exotics. It's a tough place to get a job that ticks my boxes, and I had intended on being quite flexible with location in order to get what I wanted in a first job. This was the plan until about a year and a half ago when he swapped jobs and liked it much more than his previous place.

I totally get that he has a great thing going, and I in no way want to interfere with him and his career. He makes way more money than I will as a vet, too. It just makes me finding a good first job that much more complicated and is probably one of the biggest relationship issues we've had recently, hence the mild rant.

 

[bluenose]

That's pretty much the whole crux of what I just said. The area we live in is stuffed full of not just veterinarians, but also veterinarians who treat exotics. It's a tough place to get a job that ticks my boxes, and I had intended on being quite flexible with location in order to get what I wanted in a first job. This was the plan until about a year and a half ago when he swapped jobs and liked it much more than his previous place.

I totally get that he has a great thing going, and I in no way want to interfere with him and his career. He makes way more money than I will as a vet, too. It just makes me finding a good first job that much more complicated and is probably one of the biggest relationship issues we've had recently, hence the mild rant.

I see what you mean that's a hard situation. I've definitely gotten nervous about being confined to a location in the future if something happens with my SO and jobs etc so I really hope it works out for you both!

 

[SummerTheLynx]

That's pretty much the whole crux of what I just said. The area we live in is stuffed full of not just veterinarians, but also veterinarians who treat exotics. It's a tough place to get a job that ticks my boxes, and I had intended on being quite flexible with location in order to get what I wanted in a first job. This was the plan until about a year and a half ago when he swapped jobs and liked it much more than his previous place.

I totally get that he has a great thing going, and I in no way want to interfere with him and his career. He makes way more money than I will as a vet, too. It just makes me finding a good first job that much more complicated and is probably one of the biggest relationship issues we've had recently, hence the mild rant.

Are you looking to become boarded in exotics though? Is it possible you end up at your school for internship and residency?

 

[Trilt]

Are you looking to become boarded in exotics though? Is it possible you end up at your school for internship and residency?

Nope, not interested in internship/residency. Just doing the good 'ole straight to practice.

 

[Minnerbelle]

Nope, not interested in internship/residency. Just doing the good 'ole straight to practice.

Well hey, your first job or two might be sucky especially in a saturated area, but it gets much easier after you pay your dues. Just remember that. You may not get your dream job right away and that's totally okay.

 

[pinkpuppy9]

I wonder if some of you are feeling/have felt how I feel right now.

My best friend is engaged. I'm truly happy for her, but I'm also jealous When she told me, I couldn't help but get a sinking feeling in my stomach. She's known the guy for about a year and a half and he finally committed to her less than a year ago. I support her always, but it stings a little knowing that my boyfriend of 2+ years isn't proposing anytime soon because I'm in school/OOS. I feel like I'm at a standstill while my friends are starting their lives. It's immature to be jealous, I know, but I'm definitely going to need some time to get over it.

 

[DVMDream]

I wonder if some of you are feeling/have felt how I feel right now.

My best friend is engaged. I'm truly happy for her, but I'm also jealous When she told me, I couldn't help but get a sinking feeling in my stomach. She's known the guy for about a year and a half and he finally committed to her less than a year ago. I support her always, but it stings a little knowing that my boyfriend of 2+ years isn't proposing anytime soon because I'm in school/OOS. I feel like I'm at a standstill while my friends are starting their lives. It's immature to be jealous, I know, but I'm definitely going to need some time to get over it.

This is going to happen a LOT over the 4 years of vet school. Friends/family will get engaged, married, start families, buy homes, etc, etc. And you are kind of stuck in the middle of school and going after your career. It takes a little getting used to and adjusting as you watch everyone else around you do all these normal "life" things, but you eventually do get used to it.

 

[pinkpuppy9]

This is going to happen a LOT over the 4 years of vet school. Friends/family will get engaged, married, start families, buy homes, etc, etc. And you are kind of stuck in the middle of school and going after your career. It takes a little getting used to and adjusting as you watch everyone else around you do all these normal "life" things, but you eventually do get used to it.

So frustrating. It also sucks to think that if I weren't in school, I likely would be planning a wedding myself. Darn career goals.

 

[WildZoo]

I wonder if some of you are feeling/have felt how I feel right now.

My best friend is engaged. I'm truly happy for her, but I'm also jealous When she told me, I couldn't help but get a sinking feeling in my stomach. She's known the guy for about a year and a half and he finally committed to her less than a year ago. I support her always, but it stings a little knowing that my boyfriend of 2+ years isn't proposing anytime soon because I'm in school/OOS. I feel like I'm at a standstill while my friends are starting their lives. It's immature to be jealous, I know, but I'm definitely going to need some time to get over it.

I get that feeling. Even knowing that my bf would propose whenever, we just won't be getting married for a few years at least. And I'm over the moon excited for my friends. But here I am in a 5 year relationship, with friends getting engaged after a year or less...You just have to shrug it off.

At least I feel no jealousy for the friends with kids

 

[SummerTheLynx]

I know this discussion has been had before, but I am not sure exactly the place. For those that had weddings during vet school, what were your thoughts on having it during vet school (ie during a summer break)? Given the opportunity, would you do it at a different point? Also, how did you handle the finances of it all. (Spending x thousands on engagement/wedding rings and then x thousands on a wedding)

 

[WildZoo]

Spending x thousands on engagement/wedding rings and then x thousands on a wedding

Spend x hundreds instead

 

[SummerTheLynx]

Spend x hundreds instead

Is it even possible to do that for a wedding? Actually a serious question lol.

If BI ever checks this (which is super unlikely) I am sure you will get a talking to lol.

 

[WildZoo]

Is it even possible to do that for a wedding? Actually a serious question lol.

Yes. You would just have to keep it very, very small. I know for a fact my mom and dad didn't spend much on their wedding. It was on the beach, so no venue to pay for, they had a friend do photographs, pastor was from their church and he didn't charge for it, family made the food, and they only invited very close family plus a couple friends.

 

[WildZoo]

But your typical wedding I think would be hard to keep under $1000.

 

[Gwenevre]

Cousin did a wedding at a bar, everyone paid for their own food, had a friend get a minister's license or whichever they needed to be certified to marry. I wasn't privy to the numbers, but seemed like a really cheap wedding.

 

[DVMDream]

Is it even possible to do that for a wedding? Actually a serious question lol.

One word: Vegas.

 

[bluenose]

I know this discussion has been had before, but I am not sure exactly the place. For those that had weddings during vet school, what were your thoughts on having it during vet school (ie during a summer break)? Given the opportunity, would you do it at a different point? Also, how did you handle the finances of it all. (Spending x thousands on engagement/wedding rings and then x thousands on a wedding)

I would like to hear people's thoughts on the timing of wedding in vet school as well. Also for anyone who had kids in vet school or shortly after what they thought about that timing or who do-able children are at different stages in vet-med (school, residency, years later etc)

 

[WildZoo]

The answer is obviously no kids ever. Unless we're talking about baby goats.

 

[SummerTheLynx]

The answer is obviously no kids ever. Unless we're talking about baby goats.

Hypocrite.

How many baby goats are allowed??

 

[WildZoo]

Hypocrite.

How many baby goats are allowed??

I don't know what you're talking about, I'm definitely not pregnant with quintuplets

All the baby goats!!!

 

[Kam325]

I got married last May , two days after my last post-bacc final, and two days after my husband took Step 1 for med school. We got engaged in February and planned the whole thing in three months. We were pretty pressed for time, but I wouldn't change a thing. The way we chose to do it, you could definitely do during vet school. I was back at work in 5 days, and my husband started his clinical rotations in 3!

Granted, it was a small wedding (35ish guests), and a pretty low maintenance affair, but we managed to cover everything involved, honeymoon and rings included, for under 7k. That included an open bar, renting a restaurant space with dinner, cake, dress, suit, officiant, gifts for everyone involved, nice photographer, flowers, etc. We didn't have bridesmaids or groomsmen, since everyone invited was super close to us, so that cut out a lot of planning time.

We got married at a public park with no rental fee, and just made a small donation to the park. Saved a ton of money and it was an absolutely beautiful space. I think the max capacity allowed was 40 guests, and I've seen other public parks (like the Boston Public Garden, which is a popular wedding spot) cap it at 50.

Bonus pictures! (Because who doesn't love showing their wedding photos?)

*poof*

 

[Kam325]

I would like to hear people's thoughts on the timing of wedding in vet school as well. Also for anyone who had kids in vet school or shortly after what they thought about that timing or who do-able children are at different stages in vet-med (school, residency, years later etc)

I'm also interested in the kid-in-vet-school conundrum, especially for slightly older students....I've heard you'll get a handful of students getting pregnant during 4th year, but it kind of seems like a nightmare scenario no matter how you slice it (particularly if you're interested in residency). Any insight on this front?

 

[Kam325]

I know this discussion has been had before, but I am not sure exactly the place. For those that had weddings during vet school, what were your thoughts on having it during vet school (ie during a summer break)? Given the opportunity, would you do it at a different point? Also, how did you handle the finances of it all. (Spending x thousands on engagement/wedding rings and then x thousands on a wedding)

STL, you and BI are in Columbia, right? I think they allow (free?) weddings in Rock Bridge State Park. I grew up in Columbia, and it was one of my favorite spots.