Relationship -- HELP


New Member
15+ Year Member
Dec 26, 2001
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I am a 26 year old male, who just graduated
with a PhD and working in silicon
valley, as a research engineer.

I met and fell in love with a sweet girl
(who is pre-med -- junior).
We went out for more than a year and talked
about getting married. It hit me recently
that it would be almost impossible to make
this work since we both have no idea where
she might get into medschool and then
residency. Since my job is so specialized, its
hard for me to move with her if she got
into a school somewhere remote (say mid-west?).
And I would rather be single than be in
a long-distance marriage with added work
stress of med-school and residency.

It will be great if you can help me out since I am confused, and I really want the best for
both of us.

a) How hard is it to get into med-schools in NY ?
(I know UC schools are really hard to get into,
so I pretty much must accept moving out of the
bay-area). I know I can get a job in NY/DC

b) How busy is med-school ? Will she have to work
24-7 and is it a great strain on marriages ?
I know am jumping ahead of myself, but what
years of med-school are just brutal and what
years are less stressful ?

d) Is getting into residency more flexible
and easier than med-school ? (in terms of
geography -- NY or CA).

e) Do couples have kids during med-school,
residency ?

All am trying to do is picture how my life
will be realistically, if I get married to
her. Note also that I am 26 and she is 20,
and we're kinda at different points in our

Any sort of advice would be great!!!


Senior Member
7+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
Oct 13, 2001
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It all depends on how strong an applicant your girlfriend is. The stronger her application the more likely she's get into a medical shcool near you.

Some residencies are flexible... like primary care.... some residencies are very un-flexible... like plastic surgery. So it all depends on what residency she wants.

Couples have kids in medical school and/or in residencies.

Bottomline... you guys have A LOT to talk about. :)

good luck!