Relationship woes

[tofunami]

-

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Fermata]

If you don't see each other in your respective futures....then what else is there to say?

 

[Scooby Moo]

Neither of us sees the other in their future... in other words we don't think we are going to get married.

How long have you felt this way? I suppose the stress of an impending MCAT (and the whole application process) can add strain to a relationship, but that stress will only increase as you go through medical school and residency. If the feeling of not seeing each other in your futures seems to coincide with this (or any other source of stress), it might be worth a second look once that stress is removed and both of you can focus fully on the relationship.

Of course, if there is no correlation...I have to agree with Fermata.

 

[monchi]

A friend of mine told me that she read somewhere (this isn't quite the greatest citation ever) that a relationship needs to go through a "forward" or "progressive" change about every 4 yrs. So for a lot of couples, they might move in together after about 4yrs, get married after about 4yrs, have a child, etc. It gets pretty tough the longer you're together, and so relationships take work, esp after a couple no longer has the kids in common (Most divorces occur in the first 7 yrs of marriage, or after about 16yrs)

The other thing that I've heard from a psychologist is that it takes about 3 yrs to form a truly intimate bond/trust with someone.

So I think if a)you're really not planning to move the relationship forward, or b)you may have formed the bond, but don't feel it's enough or have had enough, then don't prolong this! You can break up and still be friends (after a little bit of time). Dragging this out will make you resentful. And give yourselves some time away from each other. It's too easy to hook up with someone you're comfortable with, just b/c you're comfortable with them.

 

[Fed Meat]

Furthermore, we don't know if we are right for each other since we only know each other in terms of relationships.

What does this mean?

 

[tofunami]

.

 

[ArmCandy]

If your not going to marry eachother then what do you gain by staying where your at? Seems like your just prolonging the inevitable. Get out there and date everybody, that way you'll know exactly what qualities you would like you future spouse to have.

 

[medtechv79]

Why don't u just take a break and date other people first? You don't have to cut off all ties with her....if yer still young (early 20's?) then I would go explore for a while. Who know's u might realize she's the one and take her back!

 

[medtechv79]

I've had friends who broke up with their significant others for a year dated other ppl and then got back together again....so relationships can go up and down either way....depends on the couple I think.

 

[MJTig]

I've had friends who broke up with their significant others for a year dated other ppl and then got back together again....so relationships can go up and down either way....depends on the couple I think.

oh yea, i am the champ of that...
take the break, make use of it, and seriously re-look at the relationship... maybe you will find you feel the same, maybe you feel renewed.

*hug* either way.

 

[ChantillyLace]

Why do you need to define your relationship right now? Can you perhaps just take a "break" and see how things go about? Whichever way you choose, best of luck! we've all been there at one point and there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel.